Stop the Fight!: An Illustrated Guide for Couples: How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts

by Michelle Brody

This Illustrated Guide for Couples Ends 12 Hurtful Arguments Once and for All! Conflict within relationships is complex and challenging to overcome. In her 20 years of working with couples, clinical psychologist Michelle Brody found a way to make change simpler. Her clear and lighthearted illustrations that help couples literally see what’s driving their battles and blocking their bond, so they can chart a course together to stop the fights. Stop the Fight! includes more than 300 illustrations to help couples unlock the destructive cycles that drive the birthday fight, the difficult relatives fight, and other familiar battles. Going beyond common relationship advice, the tools in Stop the Fight! will help you understand the big picture and create lifelong change.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Marriage, Relationships

304 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 2015

Reviews

[Jenn Lopez · Rating 4 out of 5]

OMG! So funny and so true. Couples fight about stupid little things and couples fight about serious big things. The illustrations in this book are so great, and add to the content. There are some really good ideas on how to approach your partner, especially when you seem to go in circles about something all the time. Again - marriage is work, just looking for tools to keep things happy after 22 years - and J&M are fine. Thanks for caring.

[Hesham · Rating 4 out of 5]

well written and the drawings were brilliant to illustrate the ideas , also gives good examples and very useful advices

[Rona Akbari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful

[Curi A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was great at coordinating what most couple fight about and reality. A lot of books I’ve read to improve my marriage I read them and think how absurd the book is and that’s not what we fight about and if couples are fighting about this then they shouldn’t be married. I don’t need to read about love languages and why couples cheat because I know those and if you have ever paid attention to your partner you know. This was one of my favorite self help books I’ve read about couples. The book goes into detail about what couples fight about and why they fight and a lot of the misunderstandings that couples have in their relationships that ultimately cause the marriage to fail. A lot of assumptions that cause couples to drift apart when come to find out the assumptions were completely wrong and out of context from reality. All parties I a. Relationship need to stop step back and determine if they are Contributing to the issues and to make a decision to stop with the fights and find a common ground both are okay with.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to anyone who has parents, a significant other, or any interaction with humans. I read this like a comic book plot unfolding - seeing the problem and thinking that there was no way it was going to be resolved. And then ta-da!

The tone strikes the perfect balance of being informative without being patronizing. Relationships (with anyone!) are hard, and I felt like this book acknowledges that difficulty while informing about each person's feelings and the bigger picture. Without falling into the familiar lanes of "men are like this, while women are like this," Brody is clear that humans are humans and any person can hold any emotion, insecurity, and frustration.

[Phobean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very, very smart, clever and intensely fair, with an eye towards the most common interrelationship struggles and what's going on at the heart of the matter. Geared towards couples, but really, for anyone. There's something about visuals -even rough little sketches- that lends to deeper understanding and connection -and the author of this book totally capitalizes on that power.

[Kelsey Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not often I give a nonfiction book 5 stars. This one just surprised me, and broke down some really complex feelings and arguments into bite-sized nuggets of wisdom. I’m positive I’ll still fight with my spouse and not always resolve them perfectly, but this is such a great approach to “stop the fight” from recurring.

PS I loved how inclusive the example couples were of the lgbt community.

[Lexy Kelleher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is fantastic! I'd recommend it to anyone in a relationship. It breaks down fights and arguments in ways that are easier to understand, helping to stop fights and prevent them in the future. The book has great, very genuine examples of different kinds of fights that are illustrated in a very effective way. I'm glad I stumbled across this one!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I randomly came across this book as I was walking through the library aisles. I thought that this might be helpful for my future marriage, and I think it helped me to understand a lot about myself. I hope to come across it and come back to it, in times of need.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great explanation of the many ways we get stuck in the same 12 arguments with our partners. Cute graphics chart out the defense modes of intentions and impact. Highly recommended for anyone who feels they are making no progress towards a solution.

[Jennifer Villegas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great!

I like the take on relationships our actions and reactions to each other. I think it really helped me to see the big picture!

[JH · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a good book! The visuals were really helpful and I found it to be a really quick read.

[Skye · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was useful for other strained relationships too, other than couples. For example, a parent-child relationship.

[Matty Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this on a friend's recommendation after one too many circular arguments with my partner and... where has this book been all my life? 😅

First off - the illustrations make such a difference! There's something about seeing these conflict patterns drawn out that makes you go "oh crap, that's exactly what we do." My partner and I actually ended up laughing at how perfectly some of these diagrams captured our go-to fights.

The "birthday fight" breakdown hit particularly close to home (you know, when one person's "perfect" birthday plan becomes World War III? yeah, that one 🙈). Seeing it mapped out helped us both realize we weren't actually fighting about the birthday at all.

What I love:
- Super accessible - no dense therapy speak
- Illustrations make complex patterns crystal clear
- Practical solutions you can try right away
- Zero judgment tone (we all do this stuff!)

The only reason it's not 5 stars is that some scenarios felt a bit basic. But honestly? Sometimes basic is exactly what you need when you're stuck in the same dumb fight for the millionth time.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Side note: If your partner's resistant to "relationship books," this one's actually perfect - you can just leave it on the coffee table and let the illustrations do their work 😉

Anyone else try the "timeout" technique? Game changer for us.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hästi, saan aru küll, et autor tahtis läheneda 12 enim levinud vaidlusküsimuse alusel ja tuua ohtralt näiteid, kuid kui olin läbi lugenud umbes pool raamatut, hakkasid tülide kirjeldused ja soovitused järjest korduma. Ja ehkki tegemist on "illustreeritud teejuhiga paaridele", võib hea fantaasia korral pidada "paari" all silmas ükskõik, missugust suhet, millesse on segatud kaks inimest (või isegi kaks osapoolt, kummaski rohkem kui üks inimene). Nii et, kasulik teos, mõtlemapanev, kuid õige pisut lohisev sisu :)

[Dustin Ranem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of Common Sense, Still Helpful

I didn't read this book because my wife and I fight a lot, I was told it was a helpful book. There's a lot of common sense and I felt like I didn't learn too much, but they were definitely some helpful nuggets.