4.5 stars
Look, Decomposition Book honestly should have been a book I avoided like the plague because I am deadly afraid of anything to do with death, corpses and all the gross biological realities of being a human-shaped meat suit, but I am so glad I just blindly trusted Sara van Os because this turned out to be exactly the kind of feral, emotionally devastating, and wonderfully unhinged nightmare that I live for. It’s part survival horror, part weird girl fiction, part mental health spiral, part ghostly sapphic horrormance, and just 100% queer perfection, and I love it for that.
Now, within the first three chapters of Decomposition Book, I already found myself audibly saying: “what the fuck am I reading?!”, and I mean that as the highest compliment possible. Like, a mentally and emotionally spiralling woman wakes up beside a corpse and then semi-accidentally becomes best friends with her… or maybe more than friends? You know, casual stuff. This book just knows exactly what it is and refuses to waste time on a drawn-out mystery while pretending to be any less weird than it is, and I absolutely respect the hell out of it for that.
And look, I realise that this all sounds completely ridiculous and almost silly on paper, but somehow Sara van Os takes this deeply bizarre setup and uses it to explore loneliness, trauma, rejection, grief, mental illness, obsession, and the desperate need to connect with another person in a way that completely wrecked me emotionally. I especially loved the way that Decomposition Book uses the stages of decomposition to gradually expose more layers of rot, pain, trauma, and emotional messiness. Every time things got worse, I was somehow having more fun while revelling in all the hurt, which probably says something deeply concerning about me, but we're not unpacking that today.
The unreliable narration through the eyes of my messy babe Savannah had me in an absolute chokehold, and I really appreciated how her extreme OCD and trauma were so deeply woven into who she is as a person instead of being used as shock value or cheap plot convenience. The intrusive thoughts, the obsessive spirals, the overwhelming loneliness, and the constant overthinking all felt so painfully real and relatable, and while I can absolutely see some readers getting frustrated or exhausted by her, I honestly think that's totally the point. See, living with mental illness is exhausting, living inside a neurodivergent brain can be exhausting, existing while your own mind is actively trying to attack you is exhausting, and that is exactly why I loved her so much.
Meanwhile, Ava's storyline through the diary entries is probably the more exciting and conventionally enjoyable part of the plot for a lot of readers as we get this intense survival horror narrative unfolding in the woods, but I honestly loved both of these disaster sapphic equally. Also, can someone please explain to me how van Os managed to write a character who is literally dead for the entire novel and somehow make her feel more alive than half the living characters I've read this year?! Ava completely captured my heart, and I honestly can’t even blame Savannah for slowly falling for her because girl, me too. Like, I did not pick up a book about decomposition expecting to end up rooting for a woman and her dead ghost crush, but I was living for the sapphic horrormance vibes of it all. Don’t ask me why that was so hot to me, I still don't have an answer.
Anyway, I thought the reality-bending dual timeline and dual POV narration of Decomposition Book was just executed to perfection (especially in combination with the brilliant dual audiobook performance), and I loved how everything gradually became stranger and more emotionally intense until the lines between reality, memory, grief, obsession, and love completely dissolved into each other. Especially the clever narrative shift at the end was just masterful storytelling to me, and it made for one of the most cathartic, bittersweet, weird, satisfying, and honestly perfectly imperfect endings I have read in a long while.
There is no denying that Decomposition Book will not be a book for everyone, but I am honestly so glad I gave it a shot despite my wariness because this is just a macabre masterpiece in my eyes. It’s unapologetically weird, unconventional, feminist, queer, messy, and morbidly funny, and I love how it just embraces every unhinged corner of its premise and somehow turns rot, loneliness, ghosts, and emotional breakdowns into something so beautifully bittersweet. I savoured every single rotten second of it, and I am already desperate for whatever Sara van Os writes next.