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Alzheimer's Daughter
What would you do if both parents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s?At the time of their diagnosis, Ed Church struggles to his feet, yelling, “How dare you use the A. word with me,” while Ibby wags her finger at the doctor scolding, “Shame on you.”They protect each other, Ibby by asserting, “We’re not leaving our home,” and Ed reassuring, “We’re just fine.”About his driving Ed defends, “I’m an excellent driver, I’ve never had an accident.” When their daughter, Rosie, finds dings in Ed’s car, he dismisses, “Someone must have bumped into me.”After Rosie moves them to assisted living, convinced they are on a second honeymoon, they break the news, “We’ve decided not to have more children.”In the late stages, they politely shake Rosie’s hand, inquiring, “Now, who are you?”In ALZHEIMER’S DAUGHTER readers journey with Rosie Church from her first suspicions that something is awry to nearly a decade later as she is honored to hold Ed and Ibby’s hands when they draw their final breaths.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
279 pages, Paperback
First published January 16, 2015
94 people are currently reading
411 people want to read
About the author
Jean Lee
12 books33 followersJean Lee lives with her husband in small-town Ohio, twenty minutes from anything. Although she worked full time while her parents had Alzheimer's, she is now retired after twenty-two years of teaching elementary school. Her children are married with children of their own. Five grandchildren are her greatest blessings.
After writing about the loss of both parents in her memoir, Alzheimer's Daughter, Jean became a cofounder of https://alzauthors.com. This unique blog seeks out authors of best-selling, well-vetted books written about Alzheimer's and dementia, collating these resources for those living with memory impairment and their caregivers.
Now Jean giggles at the keyboard while creating her latest books, Lexi's Triplets and Lexi's Litter of Three, featuring her triplet grandchildren, written through the voice of Lexi Lee, the family dog.
Her current writing project is Julia's Journey To Her Forever Home, written through the voice of Julia Noall, a Jack Russell Terrier mix, Lexi's cousin.
Jean blogs at http://jeanllee.blogspot.com.
Lexi blogs at http://lexitriplets.blogspot.com
Jean tweets at https://twitter.com/JeanLee18
Lexi barks at https://twitter.com/LexiTriplet
You can also find Jean on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AlzheimersDa... and https://alzauthors.com
After writing about the loss of both parents in her memoir, Alzheimer's Daughter, Jean became a cofounder of https://alzauthors.com. This unique blog seeks out authors of best-selling, well-vetted books written about Alzheimer's and dementia, collating these resources for those living with memory impairment and their caregivers.
Now Jean giggles at the keyboard while creating her latest books, Lexi's Triplets and Lexi's Litter of Three, featuring her triplet grandchildren, written through the voice of Lexi Lee, the family dog.
Her current writing project is Julia's Journey To Her Forever Home, written through the voice of Julia Noall, a Jack Russell Terrier mix, Lexi's cousin.
Jean blogs at http://jeanllee.blogspot.com.
Lexi blogs at http://lexitriplets.blogspot.com
Jean tweets at https://twitter.com/JeanLee18
Lexi barks at https://twitter.com/LexiTriplet
You can also find Jean on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AlzheimersDa... and https://alzauthors.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
February 1, 2017
While the subject of Alzheimer’s is a daunting one, the way Jean Lee approaches the story of her own parents’ struggle gives the reader an inside look at the human side of an all too common tragedy. She lays out the tale of love and devotion between her parents, Ed and Ibby, with such tenderness and clarity, interspersing love letters the two exchanged during WWII throughout the book to illustrate a bond that would last many decades.
What started as a journal to record tiny fissures in her parents’ grasp on reality became a three-year accounting of the slow but steady decline that precipitated a double diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. During her vigil, the author recounted her own struggle of having to intrude in Ed and Ibby’s life, knowing how independent and private they were and how determined they were to live out their lives in their own home, without anyone’s help or interference.
Just as parents must intervene when they see their children going down the wrong road, Jean had no choice but to look out for Ed and Ibby’s wellbeing, even though it caused them to turn on her. Jean’s battle became twofold: to keep her parents safe while she and her sister struggled to figure out what their future life would look like. Even after the diagnosis, she still had an uphill battle trying to protect her folks from the obstacles and clutter that made their house unsafe to live in. But as the months passed, it became obvious they could no longer care for themselves, despite their determination to remain independent.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a candid look at the perils and hard choices that families are having to face as an increasing number of the population struggles with an enemy that ruins lives from within. Jean’s story offers insight and foresight, while depicting the small, unexpected joys that occurred while gradually watching her parents recede into an unfamiliar world. It is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Though it must’ve been very difficult to write, it gave me the comfort of knowing that we’re not alone in this nightmare called Alzheimer’s, and that in the end, love will heal all wounds.
What started as a journal to record tiny fissures in her parents’ grasp on reality became a three-year accounting of the slow but steady decline that precipitated a double diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. During her vigil, the author recounted her own struggle of having to intrude in Ed and Ibby’s life, knowing how independent and private they were and how determined they were to live out their lives in their own home, without anyone’s help or interference.
Just as parents must intervene when they see their children going down the wrong road, Jean had no choice but to look out for Ed and Ibby’s wellbeing, even though it caused them to turn on her. Jean’s battle became twofold: to keep her parents safe while she and her sister struggled to figure out what their future life would look like. Even after the diagnosis, she still had an uphill battle trying to protect her folks from the obstacles and clutter that made their house unsafe to live in. But as the months passed, it became obvious they could no longer care for themselves, despite their determination to remain independent.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a candid look at the perils and hard choices that families are having to face as an increasing number of the population struggles with an enemy that ruins lives from within. Jean’s story offers insight and foresight, while depicting the small, unexpected joys that occurred while gradually watching her parents recede into an unfamiliar world. It is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Though it must’ve been very difficult to write, it gave me the comfort of knowing that we’re not alone in this nightmare called Alzheimer’s, and that in the end, love will heal all wounds.
February 25, 2015
Alzheimer’s Daughter is, above all else, a love story, a romantic love story, and a story about the love between parents and daughters. At its most basic, it is the story of Alzheimer’s, that fearsome, horrific brain disease that leads to the unmaking of a person, the dismantling of a life, with all of the subtle and not so subtle compromises and changes it leaves in its wake, and the acceptance and decision-making it requires from all involved, not only the afflicted but those afflicted alongside them.
Alzheimer’s is a family disease, affecting not only the one who suffers from it but all those who care about that person’s health, well-being, and dignity. Alzheimer’s Daughter is the story of one woman who confronted and battled Alzheimer’s not only for one parent but for both, and at the same time. The odds of that happening seem unlikely, but it can and it did happen to the family at the center of this story.
When all else seemed lost, Rosie, our narrator, relied on the love she’d known all her life, the love she shared with her parents, Ed and Ibby, and the love they shared and openly displayed for one another over a marriage of more than 60 years. Their love letters at the heart of this story are a testament to that love and their devotion to one another. This love enabled the four of them - including Rosie’s sister, Annette – to withstand the pressures and problems the disease demanded. In the end, the most important thing was to ensure that Ed and Ibby remained together, living as husband and wife, despite the loss of their mental faculties. The one thing they never lost was their love for one another.
One thing I’ve learned through my study of Alzheimer’s is that it’s course is a fairly common one. Many of the issues it causes are likely to hit each person afflicted – the ability to live and function safely in one’s own home, to operate an automobile, to manage money, to take in proper nutrition, to monitor medications, caregiving issues, and the role reversal that often occurs when the child must become the parent’s parent.
This book offers a deeply personal glimpse into the life of a family battling Alzheimer’s, from its earliest stages – the odd forgetfulness, the tiny mistakes – to diagnosis, to denial, to the debate about safety, the management of simple daily life, dignity, and end of life decisions, all told in a thoughtful, useful manner to guide others through this same process.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a book that will bring knowledge and solace to those grappling with this illness.
Alzheimer’s is a family disease, affecting not only the one who suffers from it but all those who care about that person’s health, well-being, and dignity. Alzheimer’s Daughter is the story of one woman who confronted and battled Alzheimer’s not only for one parent but for both, and at the same time. The odds of that happening seem unlikely, but it can and it did happen to the family at the center of this story.
When all else seemed lost, Rosie, our narrator, relied on the love she’d known all her life, the love she shared with her parents, Ed and Ibby, and the love they shared and openly displayed for one another over a marriage of more than 60 years. Their love letters at the heart of this story are a testament to that love and their devotion to one another. This love enabled the four of them - including Rosie’s sister, Annette – to withstand the pressures and problems the disease demanded. In the end, the most important thing was to ensure that Ed and Ibby remained together, living as husband and wife, despite the loss of their mental faculties. The one thing they never lost was their love for one another.
One thing I’ve learned through my study of Alzheimer’s is that it’s course is a fairly common one. Many of the issues it causes are likely to hit each person afflicted – the ability to live and function safely in one’s own home, to operate an automobile, to manage money, to take in proper nutrition, to monitor medications, caregiving issues, and the role reversal that often occurs when the child must become the parent’s parent.
This book offers a deeply personal glimpse into the life of a family battling Alzheimer’s, from its earliest stages – the odd forgetfulness, the tiny mistakes – to diagnosis, to denial, to the debate about safety, the management of simple daily life, dignity, and end of life decisions, all told in a thoughtful, useful manner to guide others through this same process.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a book that will bring knowledge and solace to those grappling with this illness.
July 3, 2015
Written as fiction, this is a memoir of a daughter’s experience with both parents diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. When the two daughters first began to suspect memory problems with their parents, the youngest, who lived nearby, began writing a journal about what she saw with her parents. She wanted to share her experiences with the older sister, so they could stay together in how they dealt with the parents. The story is very real, She shares the less-than-pretty details about Alzheimer’s. She shares the love letters her parents had written to each other during WWII. The parents still had that same love right to the end. This was a real tear-jerker for me because I have been through similar circumstances with my own mother with Alzheimer’s and some with my late wife who had dementia, not Alzheimer’s. I highly recommend this book for anyone to get a better picture of the horrible disease of Alzheimer’s, the sixth leading cause of death in the elderly in our country.
June 8, 2015
Jean's journey with her parents was a familiar one, as I traveled a path akin to Jean's with my own parents. Coping with 2 parents, both suffering from dementia, who insist they are "just fine" on their own when you know they aren't, can be treacherous; an accident waiting to happen. Jean handles difficult circumstances with such aplomb that you'll marvel at her patience and also recognize the depth of her love for her mom and dad, despite the frustrations, sadness and yes, the guilt, along the dementia road. Jean's journal entries detail this journey with honesty and integrity. The letters between her parents, written during WWII, add a poignant touch to the story. If you're struggling along this same road with a loved one, Jean's book will help you to realize that you aren't alone.
October 18, 2020
Dear Ms. Jean,
You are a credit to your parents for writing such a beautiful and poignant tribute. I read a love story, unbroken by the ravages of the “A word.”
You’re a gifted writer and your attention to detail brought back a flood of memories, for you see, I had to complete the same journey eight years ago.
What a blessing to have your faith and your sister at your side! For though I have a brother, I walked the path alone, navigating moves, care givers, financial matters, ER visits, and Hospice care. I, too, remember the memory care keypad and the loud clink as the locked door closed behind me and I would re-enter the “real” world.
Like you, I have chosen to focus on the good memories, forget the pain and the astronomical fees for such specialized care. I wonder: Did you consider including the costs involved? Or did you feel that would detract from the story? Why should our hard-working, depression-era parents have had to pay so much to be taken care of in the manner they deserved?
Good memories abound. About a week before she died peacefully, with my daughter and I by her side, my Mom looked at me and said lucidly, “Don’t worry, Nancy. Everything is going to be okay.” And it was. She left the world just as she had navigated through life, with grace and gentleness.
Thank you for sharing this love story and your role as caregiver. You and your sister did everything right, providing dignity and safety to your parents. Yours is a beautiful book, made all the more touching because it is real. May God bless you and your family!
You are a credit to your parents for writing such a beautiful and poignant tribute. I read a love story, unbroken by the ravages of the “A word.”
You’re a gifted writer and your attention to detail brought back a flood of memories, for you see, I had to complete the same journey eight years ago.
What a blessing to have your faith and your sister at your side! For though I have a brother, I walked the path alone, navigating moves, care givers, financial matters, ER visits, and Hospice care. I, too, remember the memory care keypad and the loud clink as the locked door closed behind me and I would re-enter the “real” world.
Like you, I have chosen to focus on the good memories, forget the pain and the astronomical fees for such specialized care. I wonder: Did you consider including the costs involved? Or did you feel that would detract from the story? Why should our hard-working, depression-era parents have had to pay so much to be taken care of in the manner they deserved?
Good memories abound. About a week before she died peacefully, with my daughter and I by her side, my Mom looked at me and said lucidly, “Don’t worry, Nancy. Everything is going to be okay.” And it was. She left the world just as she had navigated through life, with grace and gentleness.
Thank you for sharing this love story and your role as caregiver. You and your sister did everything right, providing dignity and safety to your parents. Yours is a beautiful book, made all the more touching because it is real. May God bless you and your family!
April 27, 2015
Wonderful
This book was so beautifully written by a daughter who loved her mother and father and her family. Thank you.
This book was so beautifully written by a daughter who loved her mother and father and her family. Thank you.
December 16, 2015
I received this book for free through “Goodreads First Read.” I was pleasantly surprised when I received my copy in the mail as it was actually signed by the author! One of the reasons I signed up to win this novel was because my Grandma suffered from Dementia the years leading up to her death in 2012. For that reason, this book really hit home with me. I think it was interesting for me to read a story from the perspective of the child, rather than my perspective as a grandchild. I still felt a bond with the author because of the uncanniness in the similarity between some of our experiences (my grandmother’s refusal to see how dangerous her driving at become, my grandmother introducing me as other family members, my grandmother’s actual passing, etc.).
My grandmother’s husband died before I was born so I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to “lose” two loved ones at the same time. I can’t imagine the devastation, and I certainly hope it’s nothing I’ll ever have to deal with.
I was impressed with the author’s ability to not feel resentful to the other members of her family, especially her sister. I think in my family we didn’t always achieve that so much, which made me doubt whether the author actually felt that way at the time or if she was using the benefit of hindsight. I think one of the hardest parts of losing my grandmother was actually the immense guilt I felt about not visiting enough. In hindsight I realize I was probably being unfair to myself and my aunts were certainly unfair to me, considering I was only a teenager (I was 19 when my grandmother actually passed away).
I also wanted to note that I sometimes find the style of writing entirely through journal entries and letters to be tiring but I think it worked here. The story the author had to tell was best told in a way as if the author is confiding in the reader.
I’m so glad I read this story and it’s made me want to read more stories from those who’ve had similar experiences! It was painful, as I knew it would be, but also very therapeutic.
My grandmother’s husband died before I was born so I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to “lose” two loved ones at the same time. I can’t imagine the devastation, and I certainly hope it’s nothing I’ll ever have to deal with.
I was impressed with the author’s ability to not feel resentful to the other members of her family, especially her sister. I think in my family we didn’t always achieve that so much, which made me doubt whether the author actually felt that way at the time or if she was using the benefit of hindsight. I think one of the hardest parts of losing my grandmother was actually the immense guilt I felt about not visiting enough. In hindsight I realize I was probably being unfair to myself and my aunts were certainly unfair to me, considering I was only a teenager (I was 19 when my grandmother actually passed away).
I also wanted to note that I sometimes find the style of writing entirely through journal entries and letters to be tiring but I think it worked here. The story the author had to tell was best told in a way as if the author is confiding in the reader.
I’m so glad I read this story and it’s made me want to read more stories from those who’ve had similar experiences! It was painful, as I knew it would be, but also very therapeutic.
June 10, 2015
Alzheimer's Daughter touches your soul and keeps you reading through the flow of tears. Even if no one you know has Alzheimer's, read this book. Not only is it educational and emotional, but it is also funny, true and down to earth. Highly recommended.
Please take the time to read this book. You will not regret the love story intermingled with the troubling disease we all hate to hear about. I can't wait to read more from Jean Lee.
Kudos, Jean.
John Dean
Please take the time to read this book. You will not regret the love story intermingled with the troubling disease we all hate to hear about. I can't wait to read more from Jean Lee.
Kudos, Jean.
John Dean
February 16, 2015
Alzheimer’s Daughter by Jean Lee is a triple threat memoir with an unthinkable premise. One parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease is a crisis, two parents diagnosed with Alzheimer’s is a disaster. Dual diagnoses and decline at the exact same time is a tragedy of epic proportions.
Alzheimer’s Daughter follows adult sisters, Rosie and Annette, as they discover and manage the progressing cognitive impairments of their aging parents. Ed and Ibby Church are a loving couple in their eighties who’ve been married for over sixty years. Their two children are united in efforts acting as responsible caregivers to keep the parents they love safe through heartbreaking decisions, from the first telling hints of memory lapses through the inevitable end of life issues.
Lee’s familiar Alzheimer’s memoir format is elevated to a classic love story by the revelation of Ed and Ibby Church’s extraordinary courtship and marriage. World War II lovebirds, the couple’s timeless love letters are shared at the beginning of each chapter, written during their separation while Ed served in the Army. This touching correspondence adds a romantic element to keep the couple’s devotion, for each other and their family, central to their inevitable fate.
The dual diagnoses and deterioration, while difficult for Rosie and Annette to manage as caregivers, turns out to be the final blessing bestowed upon Ed and Ibby for a life well lived. The elderly couple’s oblivion to their plight helps them fade away together hand in hand, with neither forced to endure the other’s incapacity.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a beautifully written tribute to the extraordinary love and lives of the author’s parents. The story offers a map on how to maneuver through the pitfalls of dementia care while honoring our parents with dignity and love through faith. The memoir reveals a modern day path many others will travel as dementia snowballs into an epidemic as baby boomers age. The journey of Alzheimer’s Daughter leads the reader through a tragic but rewarding love story with heart, like a true version of The Notebook.
Alzheimer’s Daughter follows adult sisters, Rosie and Annette, as they discover and manage the progressing cognitive impairments of their aging parents. Ed and Ibby Church are a loving couple in their eighties who’ve been married for over sixty years. Their two children are united in efforts acting as responsible caregivers to keep the parents they love safe through heartbreaking decisions, from the first telling hints of memory lapses through the inevitable end of life issues.
Lee’s familiar Alzheimer’s memoir format is elevated to a classic love story by the revelation of Ed and Ibby Church’s extraordinary courtship and marriage. World War II lovebirds, the couple’s timeless love letters are shared at the beginning of each chapter, written during their separation while Ed served in the Army. This touching correspondence adds a romantic element to keep the couple’s devotion, for each other and their family, central to their inevitable fate.
The dual diagnoses and deterioration, while difficult for Rosie and Annette to manage as caregivers, turns out to be the final blessing bestowed upon Ed and Ibby for a life well lived. The elderly couple’s oblivion to their plight helps them fade away together hand in hand, with neither forced to endure the other’s incapacity.
Alzheimer’s Daughter is a beautifully written tribute to the extraordinary love and lives of the author’s parents. The story offers a map on how to maneuver through the pitfalls of dementia care while honoring our parents with dignity and love through faith. The memoir reveals a modern day path many others will travel as dementia snowballs into an epidemic as baby boomers age. The journey of Alzheimer’s Daughter leads the reader through a tragic but rewarding love story with heart, like a true version of The Notebook.
March 24, 2015
Lee uses her experience caring for her parents to write a book based on that experience. She does change names and place names, but it's close enough to her life that she subtitles the book "a memoir."
Ed and Ibby have been married for decades, and now they are both having memory problems. Eventually, they are diagnosed with Alzheiemer's Disease. They reject this diagnosis and resist moving to a multi-level care center. Ed also insists on driving even though he's running stop signs and getting into fender benders. He also continues to work even though he makes more work for his fellow employees.
How can adult children preserve their parents' dignity, communicate respect and maintain a degree of independence while also keeping their parents safe from self-harm or harming others? This is no easy task, one filled with anxiety and anger as well as affection. The memoir shows how a daughter who lives in town and a daughter who lives out of town try to support their aging parents.
Lee offers a lot of detail about the types of practical problems that arise when people start having memory issues.
Ed and Ibby have been married for decades, and now they are both having memory problems. Eventually, they are diagnosed with Alzheiemer's Disease. They reject this diagnosis and resist moving to a multi-level care center. Ed also insists on driving even though he's running stop signs and getting into fender benders. He also continues to work even though he makes more work for his fellow employees.
How can adult children preserve their parents' dignity, communicate respect and maintain a degree of independence while also keeping their parents safe from self-harm or harming others? This is no easy task, one filled with anxiety and anger as well as affection. The memoir shows how a daughter who lives in town and a daughter who lives out of town try to support their aging parents.
Lee offers a lot of detail about the types of practical problems that arise when people start having memory issues.
May 26, 2018
This story was tenderly and honestly written, letting the testimony of Ed and Ibby Church’s love for each other take center stage. This story is about Alzheimer’s, but it’s also about faith, family, and love that lasts forever.
February 20, 2016
I lost my mother to dementia several yeas ago and, truly, I did not want to read the memoir of another person suffering through the loss of a parent. I figured it would be maudlin, and I would cry, or sugary-sweet, and I would vomit. Thankfully, I sometimes overcome my know-it-all, first-instincts-are-best inclinations, and I read it. I am glad I did.
I was right in knowing how this book would end; this disease is a killer. What Lee has managed to do , however, is make the story interesting, even compelling, despite that fact. Instead of sugar-coating, Lee gives us real people, not perfect people, real people working through real hardships. She details the story in minor, everyday occurrences, and major, life-changing health issues.
Lee's other major accomplishment is in making her parents more than victims of this cruel disease. She intercuts her narrative with excerpts of actual letters her mother and father shared during their courtship and life together. In this way, we know Ed and Ibby better, understand more fully their loss, and feel more deeply the family's suffering.
I read Alzheimer's Daughter because Jean Lee is a fellow member of the Medina Count Writers Club and one of the nicest people I know. None of which should matter to you: it's a good book. Download a copy and read it.
I was right in knowing how this book would end; this disease is a killer. What Lee has managed to do , however, is make the story interesting, even compelling, despite that fact. Instead of sugar-coating, Lee gives us real people, not perfect people, real people working through real hardships. She details the story in minor, everyday occurrences, and major, life-changing health issues.
Lee's other major accomplishment is in making her parents more than victims of this cruel disease. She intercuts her narrative with excerpts of actual letters her mother and father shared during their courtship and life together. In this way, we know Ed and Ibby better, understand more fully their loss, and feel more deeply the family's suffering.
I read Alzheimer's Daughter because Jean Lee is a fellow member of the Medina Count Writers Club and one of the nicest people I know. None of which should matter to you: it's a good book. Download a copy and read it.
February 16, 2021
كتاب وقع عليه محرك البحث بالصدفة عند البحث عن مذكرات تتعلق بمرض الزهايمر أو الخرف
هو عبارة عن مذكرات حقيقة لابنة في أمريكا أصيب والديها بمرض الخرف أو الزهايمر، تكتب مذكرات يومية عن تدهور حالتهما العقلية
كما أدهشني حقائق تفاصيل المرض وتطوراته مدعمة بمواقف تذكرها الكاتبة التي عاشت مع والديها وهي تلاحظ كل يوم وكل أسبوع وكل شهر تدهور ذاكرة والديها، كذلك أدهشني الكم الثقافي في الكتاب الذي يوضح بر الابنة بوالديها مع أختها التي كانت في ولاية بعيدة عنهم من خلال المواقف اليومية، جعلني الكتاب أعيد التفكير في بعض الصور عن الغرب وعلاقة بر الأبناء بالآباء
قد لا تسعفني الذاكرة بكل التفاصيل لأني أكتب هذا التعليق بعد سنتين تقريبا من قراءته ولكن لازلت أتذكر بأنه من أفضل ما جمعتني به الصدف بدون قصد
مع نهاية الكتاب ووفاة والديها تذكرت الاية الكريمة
وَاللَّهُ خَلَقَكُمْ ثُمَّ يَتَوَفَّاكُمْ ۚ وَمِنكُم مَّن يُرَدُّ إِلَىٰ أَرْذَلِ الْعُمُرِ لِكَيْ لَا يَعْلَمَ بَعْدَ عِلْمٍ شَيْئًا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ (70)
هو عبارة عن مذكرات حقيقة لابنة في أمريكا أصيب والديها بمرض الخرف أو الزهايمر، تكتب مذكرات يومية عن تدهور حالتهما العقلية
كما أدهشني حقائق تفاصيل المرض وتطوراته مدعمة بمواقف تذكرها الكاتبة التي عاشت مع والديها وهي تلاحظ كل يوم وكل أسبوع وكل شهر تدهور ذاكرة والديها، كذلك أدهشني الكم الثقافي في الكتاب الذي يوضح بر الابنة بوالديها مع أختها التي كانت في ولاية بعيدة عنهم من خلال المواقف اليومية، جعلني الكتاب أعيد التفكير في بعض الصور عن الغرب وعلاقة بر الأبناء بالآباء
قد لا تسعفني الذاكرة بكل التفاصيل لأني أكتب هذا التعليق بعد سنتين تقريبا من قراءته ولكن لازلت أتذكر بأنه من أفضل ما جمعتني به الصدف بدون قصد
مع نهاية الكتاب ووفاة والديها تذكرت الاية الكريمة
وَاللَّهُ خَلَقَكُمْ ثُمَّ يَتَوَفَّاكُمْ ۚ وَمِنكُم مَّن يُرَدُّ إِلَىٰ أَرْذَلِ الْعُمُرِ لِكَيْ لَا يَعْلَمَ بَعْدَ عِلْمٍ شَيْئًا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ (70)
March 31, 2018
Jean Lee shares her parents' love story in Alzheimer's Daughter. Ed and Ibby are deeply bonded as are their daughters, who walk a difficult road of caregiving -- when care is desperately needed, but not always welcomed. Through it all, Jean casts a spell of nostalgia, whimsy and faith that pulls the reader into an intimate circle where dedication and devotion reign.
February 11, 2019
Jean Lee weaves together her heartfelt journals witnessing and experiencing her parents Alzheimer’s decline (yes both parents!) with her parents wartime love letters. No doubt this book will validate the intensely emotional journey for caregivers.
December 27, 2017
There’s a fabulous website, www.alzauthors.com, that promotes authors who have written books about Alzheimer’s, most of whom have had personal experience caring for someone with the disease. Jean Lee is one of those authors. Her memoir chronicles the devastating journey she and her family traveled when both parents were diagnosed with the disease.
This adult daughter’s relationship with her parents changed as soon as she was thrust into the role of being the primary sibling entrusted to keep her parents safe on a day-to-day basis. An excerpt: “What had always been a safe, secure, cocooning relationship between us was changing. Emotional walls, thick like concrete, were building and couldn’t be penetrated by love. Mom views this as an ‘us vs them’ situation…I was now the parent of my parents. Family history was lost to the disease.”
It is quite normal for one sibling to wear the mantle of caregiver or care manager for a parent and that was the case for Jean, although she received valuable assistance from her sister who lived in a different state. That was also the case for myself when I became the primary go-to person for my own father who died in 2007 from this very same disease.
Reading Jean’s account of her parents’ illness mirrored that of so many caregivers I’ve known and worked with over the years since my father’s death. There is secrecy, doubt, self-recrimination, and guilt that is perfectly described by the author when she started to write this memoir. She relied on her journal to bring forth her family’s story and stated, “I never opened the conspirator’s notebook again until I began to write this book.”
Conspirator or not, Jean became the quintessential 21st Century Hero: the family caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. ALZHEIMER'S DAUGHTER will provide every reader with a clear view of what it is like to battle a disease that is always fatal; a disease that invades the mind first and then gradually affects the rest of the body.
But Jean’s story, like so many others like hers, also contains helpful guidance to those going down that same path, and it offers an element of hope found within the answers she and her family sought while attempting the learn-as-you-go skill of caregiving.
This memoir has something for every reader; what that may be will reveal itself to you once you’ve purchased and read this author’s eye-opening and loving family story.
This adult daughter’s relationship with her parents changed as soon as she was thrust into the role of being the primary sibling entrusted to keep her parents safe on a day-to-day basis. An excerpt: “What had always been a safe, secure, cocooning relationship between us was changing. Emotional walls, thick like concrete, were building and couldn’t be penetrated by love. Mom views this as an ‘us vs them’ situation…I was now the parent of my parents. Family history was lost to the disease.”
It is quite normal for one sibling to wear the mantle of caregiver or care manager for a parent and that was the case for Jean, although she received valuable assistance from her sister who lived in a different state. That was also the case for myself when I became the primary go-to person for my own father who died in 2007 from this very same disease.
Reading Jean’s account of her parents’ illness mirrored that of so many caregivers I’ve known and worked with over the years since my father’s death. There is secrecy, doubt, self-recrimination, and guilt that is perfectly described by the author when she started to write this memoir. She relied on her journal to bring forth her family’s story and stated, “I never opened the conspirator’s notebook again until I began to write this book.”
Conspirator or not, Jean became the quintessential 21st Century Hero: the family caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. ALZHEIMER'S DAUGHTER will provide every reader with a clear view of what it is like to battle a disease that is always fatal; a disease that invades the mind first and then gradually affects the rest of the body.
But Jean’s story, like so many others like hers, also contains helpful guidance to those going down that same path, and it offers an element of hope found within the answers she and her family sought while attempting the learn-as-you-go skill of caregiving.
This memoir has something for every reader; what that may be will reveal itself to you once you’ve purchased and read this author’s eye-opening and loving family story.
December 31, 2020
This is, first of all, a beautifully-written book. Then there is the story itself that Jean Lee tells that is so compelling you just must continue reading.
I've read a number of Alzheimer's books because my dad had Alzheimer's and I oversaw every aspect of his care, though he lived in a lovely assisted living facility, for nine years. But my dad was largely cooperative, his Alzheimer's was slow-developing, and his sweetness lasted throughout his entire ordeal. There were 10,000 other things over the years to attend to on his behalf, but the time was at least filled with many joyful moments.
Not so in Ms. Lee's case! I could not have imagined both parents developing this disease at the same time, with the progression escalating in tandem. Unless you've taken care of an Alzheimer's-ridden parent, it's hard to imagine all that is required to take care of even one. I have never read a book in which taking care of both was the case.
What was so remarkable was the daughter's ability to hold a full-time job while ushering her parents through the most difficult time imaginable--for all of them--over a number of years. Smart, organized, devoted, but nevertheless overwhelmed, Rosie Church did everything possible to ensure their best care. She did have a marvelous sister who lived in another state but who traveled often and did so much to help her--including being there to listen. But Jean Lee was truly, in every sense of the word, Alzheimer's Daughter.
I loved how the author used her parents' actual love letters which they wrote to each other during WWII. She wove them into the evolving story that was unfolding with their illness, and in doing so, gave us a special glimpse into the depth of love her parents shared. Then back to the present circumstances in the story, where that love was still as strong as ever. We learned the depth of their love and therefore were better able to understand how unique their journey was.
I loved this book, and I don't think there could be a better one written to emphasize and encompass all that is involved in caring for parents with dementia. Highly recommended.
I've read a number of Alzheimer's books because my dad had Alzheimer's and I oversaw every aspect of his care, though he lived in a lovely assisted living facility, for nine years. But my dad was largely cooperative, his Alzheimer's was slow-developing, and his sweetness lasted throughout his entire ordeal. There were 10,000 other things over the years to attend to on his behalf, but the time was at least filled with many joyful moments.
Not so in Ms. Lee's case! I could not have imagined both parents developing this disease at the same time, with the progression escalating in tandem. Unless you've taken care of an Alzheimer's-ridden parent, it's hard to imagine all that is required to take care of even one. I have never read a book in which taking care of both was the case.
What was so remarkable was the daughter's ability to hold a full-time job while ushering her parents through the most difficult time imaginable--for all of them--over a number of years. Smart, organized, devoted, but nevertheless overwhelmed, Rosie Church did everything possible to ensure their best care. She did have a marvelous sister who lived in another state but who traveled often and did so much to help her--including being there to listen. But Jean Lee was truly, in every sense of the word, Alzheimer's Daughter.
I loved how the author used her parents' actual love letters which they wrote to each other during WWII. She wove them into the evolving story that was unfolding with their illness, and in doing so, gave us a special glimpse into the depth of love her parents shared. Then back to the present circumstances in the story, where that love was still as strong as ever. We learned the depth of their love and therefore were better able to understand how unique their journey was.
I loved this book, and I don't think there could be a better one written to emphasize and encompass all that is involved in caring for parents with dementia. Highly recommended.
July 5, 2020
I loved the book. I connected with it from page one. My Mom had a stroke in 2015 and then got Lewy Body Dementia and passed in August 2017 so I connected with that part. Now, hubby who is only 57 years old has dementia/Alzheimer’s with chronic PTSD. He has shown many many of those characteristics that you talk about. He is incontinent and has been since probably August of last year. He was only diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer’s last June 2019. He’s currently in the state mental hospital due to major outbreak dealing with handguns/ cops/ threats to adult son’s life. He can’t come home and need to be placed in a veteran’s home and it’s breaking my heart. We’ve been married for 37 years...you just throw that away because of what’s happened. I’m currently working behind the scene trying to get his medical records from St Louis to prove to the VA that he is a COMBAT VET since they don’t have him listed as one. I’m also trying to prove to do that he has a TBI (traumatic Brain Injury) becomes all his symptoms point to that. I fear I’m running out of time doing this but I’m doing it out of love and God will provide what I need. Super book!!
May 17, 2017
This is one of those books that kept me up too late at night. The clarity and detail of this fictionalized account of what must have been the most emotionally draining events of the author's life pulled me into the hearts and minds of its characters. Whether you agree or not with all the ways the daughter-narrator and her sister handled their parents from the time the first signs of dementia appeared until the ends of their lives, you will turn the final page with new insight into Alzheimer's and appreciation for its victims' caretakers. Although I experienced with my mother-in-law some of the circumstances and situations portrayed in this book, I grew in understanding. Please read Alzheimer's Daughter if you suspect a loved one might be developing Alzheimer's or other dementia. This family's story can help you.
October 13, 2019
Jean Lee tells of her experiences being the caregiver for both parents with memory loss. They were diagnosed around the same time. She lived and worked in the same small town, so was the primary one to care for them. Go through her challenges with her to understand the life of a caregiver. Brave those steps along with her as you accompany her on her journey.
I am currently a caregiver for my spouse and it was interesting to compare the different perspectives as a result. I noted the similar emotions. The anguish, the uncertainties, the confusion, and compassion a caregiver feels is the same regardless if we care for a parent, spouse or someone you just care about. From each author who shares their story, we learn we do not need to feel afraid or alone if we reach out to those who can help us. Thank you, Jean, for sharing your story.
I am currently a caregiver for my spouse and it was interesting to compare the different perspectives as a result. I noted the similar emotions. The anguish, the uncertainties, the confusion, and compassion a caregiver feels is the same regardless if we care for a parent, spouse or someone you just care about. From each author who shares their story, we learn we do not need to feel afraid or alone if we reach out to those who can help us. Thank you, Jean, for sharing your story.
November 8, 2017
An Extra Ordinary Love Story That Transcends A Dreadful Disease
I laughed and cried as I read this beautiful but sad story from a daughters view of her parents battle with this dreaded disease and her parents love transcending the ravishes of a dreaded disease. As I journey through with my mother's ongoing battle with dementia, I will remember the authors quote at the end of this book, Live with an attitude of gratitude ... and Every Ordinary Day Is Extraordinary. Thank you again!
I laughed and cried as I read this beautiful but sad story from a daughters view of her parents battle with this dreaded disease and her parents love transcending the ravishes of a dreaded disease. As I journey through with my mother's ongoing battle with dementia, I will remember the authors quote at the end of this book, Live with an attitude of gratitude ... and Every Ordinary Day Is Extraordinary. Thank you again!
July 10, 2019
Alzheimer’s Daughter-In-Law
I loved this book. My mother-in-law has Alzheimers & my husband & I have been going through all the overwhelming anguish & hopelessness that the author so movingly describes. It was somewhat comforting to know others are going through the heartbreak of seeing your parent disappear to this terrible disease. I especially appreciated that the author showed the progression from early to end stage Alzheimers. I didn’t realize how painful the end was going to be for all of us. Thank you for writing this book.
I loved this book. My mother-in-law has Alzheimers & my husband & I have been going through all the overwhelming anguish & hopelessness that the author so movingly describes. It was somewhat comforting to know others are going through the heartbreak of seeing your parent disappear to this terrible disease. I especially appreciated that the author showed the progression from early to end stage Alzheimers. I didn’t realize how painful the end was going to be for all of us. Thank you for writing this book.
August 14, 2018
Could not put this timeless love story down.
A beautiful saga about this Midwest couple from the greatest generation. Full of love, grace, candor, and an abiding faith that was and is the glue for this remarkable family. A truthful account of the pain this family went through at the hands of devastating illness called Alzheimer's Disease. This book was all this and more, skillfully written and edited. A must read for baby boomers or anyone touched by this disease.
A beautiful saga about this Midwest couple from the greatest generation. Full of love, grace, candor, and an abiding faith that was and is the glue for this remarkable family. A truthful account of the pain this family went through at the hands of devastating illness called Alzheimer's Disease. This book was all this and more, skillfully written and edited. A must read for baby boomers or anyone touched by this disease.
March 8, 2018
This is an excellent true story. It was written with love and detail about a horrible disease, that both her father and mother were diagnosed with at the same time late in their lives. I loved it, I feel that her parents would be so very proud of their daughter for writing it. I will admit to a lot of crying as I was reading it. Thank you for sharing your parents beautiful love story.
April 29, 2018
It took me a long time to finish this book because I could only read it in small doses. Emotionally, I couldn’t handle reading about exactly what was happening to my mom. I can’t imagine both of my parents dealing with the effects of Alzheimer’s at the same time. A good lens into the journey ahead.
March 11, 2019
A Love Story, A Documentary on Dementia
Well written documentation of the struggles of managing parents with dementia. Alzheimer’s and dementia are insidious diseases.
I related to many of the emotions expressed by the author; having gone through this with one parent, I can’t imagine having both parents affected.
Well written documentation of the struggles of managing parents with dementia. Alzheimer’s and dementia are insidious diseases.
I related to many of the emotions expressed by the author; having gone through this with one parent, I can’t imagine having both parents affected.
March 1, 2022
I don’t usually like being bogged down in details, but felt this was necessary in understanding the progression of Alzheimer’s. It seemed to progress rather quickly. The guilt felt by the daughters was palpable. They did the best they could and I was impressed by the close bond they shared. It was sad and moving. I would recommend it.
August 16, 2018
Great Story of Enduring Love
Although it is painful to relive, the author honors her parents by telling their story and sharing the difficulties of parents with Alzheimer’s. A wonderful tribute to them.
Although it is painful to relive, the author honors her parents by telling their story and sharing the difficulties of parents with Alzheimer’s. A wonderful tribute to them.
May 8, 2019
A true and heartfelt memoir
Going through the caregiver process myself, although not with the Alzheimer's challenge, these words brei g comfort knowing others share my sadness and heart pain. Thank you
Going through the caregiver process myself, although not with the Alzheimer's challenge, these words brei g comfort knowing others share my sadness and heart pain. Thank you
December 8, 2019
Top rating for Alzheimer's Daughter. Thank you for sharing your story. It could have been my story also.
5 star rating for Alzheimer's Daughter. It could have been my story and Jean Lee brought back so many memories and healing to my heart. Thank you.
5 star rating for Alzheimer's Daughter. It could have been my story and Jean Lee brought back so many memories and healing to my heart. Thank you.
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