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What Wakes Within Us
Not yet published
Expected 31 Dec 26They’re trying to save a show. Can they save each other too?
Theater director Tyler Terlecki has always trusted his work, not people. At thirty-eight, his world is controlled, carefully contained—until a rehearsal blowup forces him into an uneasy partnership with Nicholas, a younger intimacy coordinator whose job is to center consent and rebuild trust. Otherwise, the show does not go on.
Tyler is accustomed to shaping performances, not relinquishing control. But as rehearsals restart and professional boundaries blur, he finds himself confronting something more destabilizing than creative conflict: the quiet risk of being known beyond the role he plays. As their partnership deepens into something neither expected, both men must decide what they are willing to put on the line—for the production and for each other. The future of the show may not be the only thing at stake.
Told with honesty and warmth, What Wakes Within Us is a character-driven novel about second chances, finding one’s footing, and the courage required to build something meaningful—onstage and off.
Friendly forewarning: contains adult sexual situations, witty banter, not-so-subtle nods to a beloved musical, faithful representations of the general lousiness of our times, and gay men simply being gay men—all from (get this!) an actual gay male author
Theater director Tyler Terlecki has always trusted his work, not people. At thirty-eight, his world is controlled, carefully contained—until a rehearsal blowup forces him into an uneasy partnership with Nicholas, a younger intimacy coordinator whose job is to center consent and rebuild trust. Otherwise, the show does not go on.
Tyler is accustomed to shaping performances, not relinquishing control. But as rehearsals restart and professional boundaries blur, he finds himself confronting something more destabilizing than creative conflict: the quiet risk of being known beyond the role he plays. As their partnership deepens into something neither expected, both men must decide what they are willing to put on the line—for the production and for each other. The future of the show may not be the only thing at stake.
Told with honesty and warmth, What Wakes Within Us is a character-driven novel about second chances, finding one’s footing, and the courage required to build something meaningful—onstage and off.
Friendly forewarning: contains adult sexual situations, witty banter, not-so-subtle nods to a beloved musical, faithful representations of the general lousiness of our times, and gay men simply being gay men—all from (get this!) an actual gay male author
- GenresContemporaryQueerAdult
222 pages, Paperback
Expected publication December 31, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
April 16, 2026
REVIEW OF ADVANCED COPY FROM NETGALLEY
———
I’m going to be honest, I have a lot of issues with this book. First and foremost, the use of passive voice throughout the whole book. It makes it feel like I’m reading a script or a treatment for a movie, it does not come across great in the setting of a formal novel/book. I also feel that at times the book is overly descriptive.
The author does a lot of tell and not show, nothing is really implied or left to the imagination — everything is put out there with little to be interpreted. Along with this, I found the chapters to be very short and disjointed. Every scene was a new chapter which really feels like how a play or something being filmed is written and not a book.
As a reader of romance, I would say that the book and the smut really lacked the romance. Their first “date” is very weird and feels more like they’re running down their stats and hitting talking points so that they can just skip to hooking up. I don’t really see the emotional connection between the two characters. Also, a lot of the sex reads like a porno, there is little nuance and intimacy in it which I find interesting with one of the characters being an intimacy coordinator.
Overall, I think this book is okay. I finished it but I don’t know if I would recommend it. It’s definitely for a certain type of person and that just isn’t me.
———
I’m going to be honest, I have a lot of issues with this book. First and foremost, the use of passive voice throughout the whole book. It makes it feel like I’m reading a script or a treatment for a movie, it does not come across great in the setting of a formal novel/book. I also feel that at times the book is overly descriptive.
The author does a lot of tell and not show, nothing is really implied or left to the imagination — everything is put out there with little to be interpreted. Along with this, I found the chapters to be very short and disjointed. Every scene was a new chapter which really feels like how a play or something being filmed is written and not a book.
As a reader of romance, I would say that the book and the smut really lacked the romance. Their first “date” is very weird and feels more like they’re running down their stats and hitting talking points so that they can just skip to hooking up. I don’t really see the emotional connection between the two characters. Also, a lot of the sex reads like a porno, there is little nuance and intimacy in it which I find interesting with one of the characters being an intimacy coordinator.
Overall, I think this book is okay. I finished it but I don’t know if I would recommend it. It’s definitely for a certain type of person and that just isn’t me.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
***Thank you to PANIC Press for providing a copy of the book via NetGalley. My review contains my honest thoughts about my reading experience.***
I actually quite enjoyed my time with What Wakes Within Us. The characters felt like fully fleshed out people, especially Tyler, and I thought the themes were thought-provoking and presented in an easily digestible way. Unfortunately, the writing kept this story from reaching its full potential.
Let’s rip the band aid off quickly and start by discussing my biggest qualm with What Wakes Within Us, the writing. Parts of the story really overused the em dash. Their inclusion quickly became distracting, and the phrases they contained disrupted the flow of the text too much. Some of the dialogue also felt a bit clunky and unnatural at times. The POV of the story took some getting used to, as well. It was matter of fact and too omniscient, if that’s a thing. I felt like the reader was kept at arm’s length from the characters for a lot of the story. The use of random head hopping didn’t help either. Most of the story was told with Tyler at the center, but there were some moments that centered Nick instead. I think things would have worked better if the story was dual POV all the way through. The way it was told made it seem like the author wanted to focus on Tyler but couldn’t figure out a way to move the story and relationship forward without a few peeks at Nick’s perspective, which was just weird to read.
I really enjoyed getting to know Tyler in What Wakes Within Us. His personal struggles with isolation, alcohol, and rigidity were super relatable. At the start of the story, his life seems very structured and settled into a routine. However, it quickly becomes clear that his routine is at least partly due to him compensating for being incredibly lonely and unhappy with the lack of connection in his life. Throughout the story, there’s a great deal of really good commentary on the pitfalls of social media and how it has morphed into such a force for disconnection. I was honestly heartbroken while reading about how his social circle collapsed as he entered adulthood, especially his 30’s, because it hit a little too close to home. His journey to building more authentic connections in this story was really moving.
That brings me to the central relationship of What Wakes Within Us, the romance between Tyler and Nick. I really liked these two characters together. They experienced a bit of a bumpy start with Nick being withdrawn and even a little hostile. It made sense given the scenario. He was there to solve a problem with Tyler at the center of it. Nick’s hackles eventually lowered as he worked with Tyler more and more, and their mutual attraction turned into a workplace romance. The transition from coworker to romantic partner did seem abrupt, though, and could have been stretched out some more. However, there were so many beautiful and emotional moments between the two of them that I didn’t care overly much.
I also want to point out that I appreciated the unique premise of What Wakes Within Us. I liked that it gave an opportunity to show how intimacy coordinators can make a theater production better, both creatively and in improving safety for the cast. It just made for an odd backdrop to a romance, especially when one of them was the coordinator brought into the production to remedy the shortfalls of his new romantic partner’s directing. It also felt a little unprofessional for Nick to allow the relationship to develop when he was only recently brought in to solve issues related to intimacy. I think a more drawn-out period of flirtation and getting to know each other would’ve made these issues feel less prominent to me.
All in all, What Wakes Within Us made me feel something despite all of the qualms I had with the story. So, as far as I’m concerned, the story did its job well enough that I’ll be looking to see what the author does next. Therefore, I rate the book 3.25 out of 5 stars.
I actually quite enjoyed my time with What Wakes Within Us. The characters felt like fully fleshed out people, especially Tyler, and I thought the themes were thought-provoking and presented in an easily digestible way. Unfortunately, the writing kept this story from reaching its full potential.
Let’s rip the band aid off quickly and start by discussing my biggest qualm with What Wakes Within Us, the writing. Parts of the story really overused the em dash. Their inclusion quickly became distracting, and the phrases they contained disrupted the flow of the text too much. Some of the dialogue also felt a bit clunky and unnatural at times. The POV of the story took some getting used to, as well. It was matter of fact and too omniscient, if that’s a thing. I felt like the reader was kept at arm’s length from the characters for a lot of the story. The use of random head hopping didn’t help either. Most of the story was told with Tyler at the center, but there were some moments that centered Nick instead. I think things would have worked better if the story was dual POV all the way through. The way it was told made it seem like the author wanted to focus on Tyler but couldn’t figure out a way to move the story and relationship forward without a few peeks at Nick’s perspective, which was just weird to read.
I really enjoyed getting to know Tyler in What Wakes Within Us. His personal struggles with isolation, alcohol, and rigidity were super relatable. At the start of the story, his life seems very structured and settled into a routine. However, it quickly becomes clear that his routine is at least partly due to him compensating for being incredibly lonely and unhappy with the lack of connection in his life. Throughout the story, there’s a great deal of really good commentary on the pitfalls of social media and how it has morphed into such a force for disconnection. I was honestly heartbroken while reading about how his social circle collapsed as he entered adulthood, especially his 30’s, because it hit a little too close to home. His journey to building more authentic connections in this story was really moving.
That brings me to the central relationship of What Wakes Within Us, the romance between Tyler and Nick. I really liked these two characters together. They experienced a bit of a bumpy start with Nick being withdrawn and even a little hostile. It made sense given the scenario. He was there to solve a problem with Tyler at the center of it. Nick’s hackles eventually lowered as he worked with Tyler more and more, and their mutual attraction turned into a workplace romance. The transition from coworker to romantic partner did seem abrupt, though, and could have been stretched out some more. However, there were so many beautiful and emotional moments between the two of them that I didn’t care overly much.
I also want to point out that I appreciated the unique premise of What Wakes Within Us. I liked that it gave an opportunity to show how intimacy coordinators can make a theater production better, both creatively and in improving safety for the cast. It just made for an odd backdrop to a romance, especially when one of them was the coordinator brought into the production to remedy the shortfalls of his new romantic partner’s directing. It also felt a little unprofessional for Nick to allow the relationship to develop when he was only recently brought in to solve issues related to intimacy. I think a more drawn-out period of flirtation and getting to know each other would’ve made these issues feel less prominent to me.
All in all, What Wakes Within Us made me feel something despite all of the qualms I had with the story. So, as far as I’m concerned, the story did its job well enough that I’ll be looking to see what the author does next. Therefore, I rate the book 3.25 out of 5 stars.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This novel offers a mix of strong character chemistry and uneven storytelling, making it an engaging yet at times frustrating read. One of its greatest strengths lies in the dynamic between Tyler and Nicholas. Their chemistry is evident from early on, and once their relationship begins to develop, their banter becomes a highlight of the story. Their first date at the Italian restaurant, in particular, feels natural and believable, it’s easy to picture yourself in Tyler’s position, getting to know someone new and exciting. This same chemistry carries into their more intimate moments, where their connection feels genuine, even if some of the dialogue occasionally comes across as slightly awkward.
Despite these strengths, there are several aspects of the writing that take me out of the overall experience. At times, the narrative feels over explained, focusing on details that don’t add value such as basic descriptions of curtains or early 2000s instant messaging. Additionally, certain plot points lack realism. For example, the receptionist Sandi repeatedly pressuring Nicholas about a drug test feels out of place within the context of a theatre company hiring a contract employee. Similarly, Tyler’s behaviour regarding communication feels inconsistent; he is constantly checking his phone for messages from friends and family, yet avoids online dating due to the perceived effort of responding to people.
Nicholas as a character is perhaps the most confusing element of the story. He is initially portrayed as unnecessarily harsh, especially toward Tyler, and then seems to shift abruptly into a romantic partner without a clearly developed transition. This sudden change makes it difficult to fully invest in their relationship. Furthermore, given his role as an intimacy coordinator, some of his actions feel unprofessional. Moments such as commenting on a colleague’s appearance in a sensitive situation, or displaying physical affection toward Tyler in the workplace, undermining the credibility of his character and profession.
That said, the novel does contain moments of genuine emotional depth. One standout scene occurs when Tyler calls Nicholas while struggling with the urge to drink. Nicholas responds with compassion and support, creating a touching and heartfelt interaction. This scene not only adds emotional weight to the story but also reveals a softer, more endearing side of Nicholas which made it easier to root for their relationship. It’s moments like this that highlight the author’s potential and ability to create meaningful character connections.
From a stylistic standpoint, there are a few recurring issues. The repeated use of descriptors such as “the older man” and “the younger man” feels unnecessary, especially since the age gap is already established and not central to the plot. Additionally, some details like the frequent references to coffee feels excessive and could have been trimmed in favour of further character or plot development. The narrative perspective also lacks consistency; although the story is primarily told from Tyler’s point of view, there are abrupt shifts to Nicholas’s perspective, sometimes mid-chapter which I found to disrupt the flow of the story.
Overall, while the novel has its flaws, it also demonstrates clear promise. The author shows a strong ability to create chemistry between characters and delivers some emotional scenes. As this is their first book, there is plenty of room for growth and with further refinement in storytelling and structure, future works could be even more compelling.
Despite these strengths, there are several aspects of the writing that take me out of the overall experience. At times, the narrative feels over explained, focusing on details that don’t add value such as basic descriptions of curtains or early 2000s instant messaging. Additionally, certain plot points lack realism. For example, the receptionist Sandi repeatedly pressuring Nicholas about a drug test feels out of place within the context of a theatre company hiring a contract employee. Similarly, Tyler’s behaviour regarding communication feels inconsistent; he is constantly checking his phone for messages from friends and family, yet avoids online dating due to the perceived effort of responding to people.
Nicholas as a character is perhaps the most confusing element of the story. He is initially portrayed as unnecessarily harsh, especially toward Tyler, and then seems to shift abruptly into a romantic partner without a clearly developed transition. This sudden change makes it difficult to fully invest in their relationship. Furthermore, given his role as an intimacy coordinator, some of his actions feel unprofessional. Moments such as commenting on a colleague’s appearance in a sensitive situation, or displaying physical affection toward Tyler in the workplace, undermining the credibility of his character and profession.
That said, the novel does contain moments of genuine emotional depth. One standout scene occurs when Tyler calls Nicholas while struggling with the urge to drink. Nicholas responds with compassion and support, creating a touching and heartfelt interaction. This scene not only adds emotional weight to the story but also reveals a softer, more endearing side of Nicholas which made it easier to root for their relationship. It’s moments like this that highlight the author’s potential and ability to create meaningful character connections.
From a stylistic standpoint, there are a few recurring issues. The repeated use of descriptors such as “the older man” and “the younger man” feels unnecessary, especially since the age gap is already established and not central to the plot. Additionally, some details like the frequent references to coffee feels excessive and could have been trimmed in favour of further character or plot development. The narrative perspective also lacks consistency; although the story is primarily told from Tyler’s point of view, there are abrupt shifts to Nicholas’s perspective, sometimes mid-chapter which I found to disrupt the flow of the story.
Overall, while the novel has its flaws, it also demonstrates clear promise. The author shows a strong ability to create chemistry between characters and delivers some emotional scenes. As this is their first book, there is plenty of room for growth and with further refinement in storytelling and structure, future works could be even more compelling.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
It's always incredibly inspiring to see a first time author's debut work! There were some truly great lines in this book, such as “…Tyler looked down at his phone. 6:06 p.m. No Messages. Tyler’s past didn’t care to chase him, it seemed.” I also really did like that Tyler has some complex relationships in the book, like his mysterious ex Thom. I loved seeing that they still have good communication, and I did like the sequence we saw where we see how, when, and why Thom and Tyler broke up. It gave a little more perspective into, our still very mysterious, Tyler.
I really did like seeing Tyler on his own too. Whenever it was just Tyler alone at his home or in the theater, I feel like we really got to understand who he is and who is character can become as the events of the story unfold. It can be hard to enjoy connecting to a character when there is nothing dramatic happening, but it was done very well here, in my opinion.
Now, on to the things I struggled with. I really struggled to follow the writing, at times. There are so many em dashes in the book, and it makes the story feel a little lost. I also felt that there were details about the settings and characters that could have come up sooner and/or more naturally. We don't really know where Tyler is for the first few chapters, and the jumps in time make that issue even more prevalent. I wasn’t quite sure what was happening in the first few chapters because of the sequencing. Having dates or some time indicator could really make the reading experience easier to follow.
“He told Tyler he’d be there at 8 a.m. sharp, but it’s 8:05 and no Nick. Tyler shrugs and takes a sip of coffee. He looks down at his phone. 8:06. Cool. Off to a great start. He takes another sip. It’s still dark out. January in Ohio is always this way, but Tyler never seems to remember until it comes around again—the darkness from 4 p.m. to 8 a.m.
“The days—if one can really call them that—are dark as well, just less so. The sky typically brightens to a gray smear for several hours before fading back to black again.”
This is the writing in the first two paragraphs, but I feel that this gives the reader a general understanding of the writing in this book. It’s technically fine, but there is a lot left to be desired. For me, I got stuck immediately wondering why there’s such a focus on the darkness of the outside when I don’t even know where we are inside. I also am not a fan of the fact that he says it’s dark at 8:06, but then says it’s only dark until 8; he doesn’t say “about 8”, just 8. That bugged me quite a bit as someone who can be quite literal.
Overall, this book was a DNF for me, but that doesn't mean it's one you should immediately back out of reading, yourself. This book seems to be for a specific type of person, and that person just wasn't me. If you like the feeling of always wanting a little more information, then you'll like the mystery events from chapter to chapter. If you enjoy a good "bad first impression" romance, then I think you would like this book!
I really did like seeing Tyler on his own too. Whenever it was just Tyler alone at his home or in the theater, I feel like we really got to understand who he is and who is character can become as the events of the story unfold. It can be hard to enjoy connecting to a character when there is nothing dramatic happening, but it was done very well here, in my opinion.
Now, on to the things I struggled with. I really struggled to follow the writing, at times. There are so many em dashes in the book, and it makes the story feel a little lost. I also felt that there were details about the settings and characters that could have come up sooner and/or more naturally. We don't really know where Tyler is for the first few chapters, and the jumps in time make that issue even more prevalent. I wasn’t quite sure what was happening in the first few chapters because of the sequencing. Having dates or some time indicator could really make the reading experience easier to follow.
“He told Tyler he’d be there at 8 a.m. sharp, but it’s 8:05 and no Nick. Tyler shrugs and takes a sip of coffee. He looks down at his phone. 8:06. Cool. Off to a great start. He takes another sip. It’s still dark out. January in Ohio is always this way, but Tyler never seems to remember until it comes around again—the darkness from 4 p.m. to 8 a.m.
“The days—if one can really call them that—are dark as well, just less so. The sky typically brightens to a gray smear for several hours before fading back to black again.”
This is the writing in the first two paragraphs, but I feel that this gives the reader a general understanding of the writing in this book. It’s technically fine, but there is a lot left to be desired. For me, I got stuck immediately wondering why there’s such a focus on the darkness of the outside when I don’t even know where we are inside. I also am not a fan of the fact that he says it’s dark at 8:06, but then says it’s only dark until 8; he doesn’t say “about 8”, just 8. That bugged me quite a bit as someone who can be quite literal.
Overall, this book was a DNF for me, but that doesn't mean it's one you should immediately back out of reading, yourself. This book seems to be for a specific type of person, and that person just wasn't me. If you like the feeling of always wanting a little more information, then you'll like the mystery events from chapter to chapter. If you enjoy a good "bad first impression" romance, then I think you would like this book!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This story is kicked off by an intimate scene gone wrong in a production of Spring Awakening directed by the main character, 38 year old Tyler. Following the debacle, the theatre company hired Nicholas, an intimacy coordinator, to work on the intimate scenes. Gradually (or not so gradually considering this book is just over 200 pages) they fall for each other.
I was drawn to this book by the very interesting premise, but sadly it did not work for me for a few reasons. The story is quite cluttered with unnecessary and mundane detail that didn't drive the plot forward or help to create a sense of atmosphere. For instance, I didn't feel the need to read about Tyler going back and forth to the office coffee machine or a blow-by-blow account of his workout routine. There is even a detail about Tyler's dick dipping into the overfilled toilet bowl when he goes for a morning pee. Why this was included in the narrative is inexplicable to me.
I also struggled to buy into the central relationship. Nicholas has the beginnings of a compelling character but ultimately was not fleshed out enough for me to invest in his relationship with Tyler. We know that he is Italian, a lapsed Catholic, hot and hairy, but not much else besides. We aren't told why he chose the rather unusual job of an intimacy coordinator; I would have been interested in reading more about how he perceives what he does. The relationship would have been more compelling if we saw more of Nicholas's interiority and his struggles (he seemed to have none in the story). Moreover, there wasn't much tension and conflict in the story: Tyler pretty much accepts Nicholas' recommendations outright – good for the play, but a bit boring for this reader.
I also think that more could be made of the rehearsal process itself, because the glimpses we got of the rehearsals and how Nicholas suggests changes to the intimate scenes are the most interesting part of the story for me. I wished that the excitement, dynamism and camaraderie that build up during rehearsals took centre stage, which would have been a great opportunity to show how Tyler and Nicholas' relationship develops more organically (incidentally, a novel that does this very well is Enter Ghost by Isabella Hammad, though it is about an entirely different topic). Instead, the novel focuses more on rather dull admin meetings with managerial women who mostly sound the same, and the impact of the musical was relegated to the epilogue.
To end on a positive note, I appreciated how Tyler's loneliness was portrayed in the book. His sense of being unmoored as a single gay man in his late 30s, his dissatisfaction with the emptiness of social media and his rumination on how he got to this point in life, would resonate with many.
Many thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I was drawn to this book by the very interesting premise, but sadly it did not work for me for a few reasons. The story is quite cluttered with unnecessary and mundane detail that didn't drive the plot forward or help to create a sense of atmosphere. For instance, I didn't feel the need to read about Tyler going back and forth to the office coffee machine or a blow-by-blow account of his workout routine. There is even a detail about Tyler's dick dipping into the overfilled toilet bowl when he goes for a morning pee. Why this was included in the narrative is inexplicable to me.
I also struggled to buy into the central relationship. Nicholas has the beginnings of a compelling character but ultimately was not fleshed out enough for me to invest in his relationship with Tyler. We know that he is Italian, a lapsed Catholic, hot and hairy, but not much else besides. We aren't told why he chose the rather unusual job of an intimacy coordinator; I would have been interested in reading more about how he perceives what he does. The relationship would have been more compelling if we saw more of Nicholas's interiority and his struggles (he seemed to have none in the story). Moreover, there wasn't much tension and conflict in the story: Tyler pretty much accepts Nicholas' recommendations outright – good for the play, but a bit boring for this reader.
I also think that more could be made of the rehearsal process itself, because the glimpses we got of the rehearsals and how Nicholas suggests changes to the intimate scenes are the most interesting part of the story for me. I wished that the excitement, dynamism and camaraderie that build up during rehearsals took centre stage, which would have been a great opportunity to show how Tyler and Nicholas' relationship develops more organically (incidentally, a novel that does this very well is Enter Ghost by Isabella Hammad, though it is about an entirely different topic). Instead, the novel focuses more on rather dull admin meetings with managerial women who mostly sound the same, and the impact of the musical was relegated to the epilogue.
To end on a positive note, I appreciated how Tyler's loneliness was portrayed in the book. His sense of being unmoored as a single gay man in his late 30s, his dissatisfaction with the emptiness of social media and his rumination on how he got to this point in life, would resonate with many.
Many thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I almost DNFed this very early on, and boy am I glad I didn't. At first, it seems like Tyler / the narrator focuses on very weird, inane details, but I grew to appreciate that as the story went on. Tyler's world is so small, almost claustrophobically so. He's so isolated. He notices weird little things because that's all he has. I will say that as the story progressed, I also started to read him as neurodivergent-coded, though this is never specifically addressed. That said, several times he'd say or do something that I found odd, only for other characters to go, "Um, what?" It was, however, deeply hilarious to me that the narrator would explain things to us, the readers, about what certain things were that felt out of place initially. Like AIM. Am I that old? Crap, I guess some people DO need that context... I'm putting the elder back in elder millennial.
It took me until the end of the book to realize that not only is the play an obvious nod to Spring Awakening, but the book itself is as well. I have not seen the show, but I have read the original play, so you'd think I would have picked up on that sooner. Tyler and Nick's arc has a much happier conclusion than the overtly queer character in the original play, but the themes of ennui and detachment are carried through here. There are a few bleak musings on things like the state of social media, but most of Tyler's problems boil down to feelings of loneliness and isolation. My favorite scene in here is one where Tyler opens up to Nick about the things that make him feel the most isolated, and Nick's response is just *chef's kiss.* I read a lot of queer romance, but as the blurb points out, a huge chunk of popular Achillean media is written by (straight?) women, and I think think the general tendency there is to dial the emotions up. The various characters' reactions and conversations here are all understated, and are carried not by dramatic flair, but by personal longing. It's 2am and I'm not sure I'm phrasing that well, but anyway, I liked it.
I think this is a debut, and some of the writing was a bit clunky in places. The prose is direct and doesn't linger on descriptions or imagery, and the pace was sometimes too plot-forward for me. Overall, though, I really liked the ideas Steppenwolf explored here, and I found the structure of this refreshing in a genre that often relies heavily on tropes and gimmicks. There's no big miscommunication, and no dramatic third-act breakup. Once I got into the story, I scarfed it right down, and I'm already following the author. Looking forward to whatever he does next.
Thank you to NetGalley and the published for the ARC. And not a factor in my rating, but I love that cover!
It took me until the end of the book to realize that not only is the play an obvious nod to Spring Awakening, but the book itself is as well. I have not seen the show, but I have read the original play, so you'd think I would have picked up on that sooner. Tyler and Nick's arc has a much happier conclusion than the overtly queer character in the original play, but the themes of ennui and detachment are carried through here. There are a few bleak musings on things like the state of social media, but most of Tyler's problems boil down to feelings of loneliness and isolation. My favorite scene in here is one where Tyler opens up to Nick about the things that make him feel the most isolated, and Nick's response is just *chef's kiss.* I read a lot of queer romance, but as the blurb points out, a huge chunk of popular Achillean media is written by (straight?) women, and I think think the general tendency there is to dial the emotions up. The various characters' reactions and conversations here are all understated, and are carried not by dramatic flair, but by personal longing. It's 2am and I'm not sure I'm phrasing that well, but anyway, I liked it.
I think this is a debut, and some of the writing was a bit clunky in places. The prose is direct and doesn't linger on descriptions or imagery, and the pace was sometimes too plot-forward for me. Overall, though, I really liked the ideas Steppenwolf explored here, and I found the structure of this refreshing in a genre that often relies heavily on tropes and gimmicks. There's no big miscommunication, and no dramatic third-act breakup. Once I got into the story, I scarfed it right down, and I'm already following the author. Looking forward to whatever he does next.
Thank you to NetGalley and the published for the ARC. And not a factor in my rating, but I love that cover!
Review of advance copy
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
There were a lot of moving parts in this, but none of them were working together as part of a greater whole. Things felt disjointed. There is a mix of things being overly explained while other things aren’t developed. (I was honestly surprised when Tyler and Nicholas went on their first date because I missed that either one of them had vocalized any intention to do so prior to one of them throwing out a ‘hey dinner at 7?’ kind of comment.)
It feels like the author tried to write a spicy book because it is popular, but it didn’t really land. When the MCs are supposed to be having sex, the writing is awkward. Things are over-explained as if to make 100% sure the reader can see things play out exactly as intended, but it comes across as a bizarre mix between romance novel and instruction manual that ends up being distracting and confusing.
Don’t get me wrong- I have read my fair share of books where the plot was just there to support there being sex. But when that happens, the plot is clearly explained even if there isn’t a lot of world building. In this case, there isn’t enough sex for the plot to just be supportive. Unfortunately, there also isn’t enough plot.
Out of nowhere Tyler decides to stop when he finds out that Nicholas doesn’t drink. It is only later that Tyler ends up admitting that he drinks on his own regularly to ‘stop feeling’. This feels like the most unexpected behavior from a likely alcoholic. And it really isn’t remarked on again
A character pesters Nicholas about getting drug tested to officially complete some employment paperwork, and he is so awkward about it that it feels like he is putting it off because he knows the results won’t be good. Instead it is finally resolved with a couple comments about it ring completed.
At one point Tyler says one of his duties is to handle marketing for the theater but later someone suggests that Nicholas, an intimacy coordinator, should take over their social media accounts for some reason.
For the record, the MCs also have a conversation where they claim that pansexuals can be sexually attracted to transgender and non binary people while bisexuals can only be sexually attracted to men or women. Which is both transphobic and implies that all bi people are transphobic as well.
There were a lot of moving parts in this, but none of them were working together as part of a greater whole. Things felt disjointed. There is a mix of things being overly explained while other things aren’t developed. (I was honestly surprised when Tyler and Nicholas went on their first date because I missed that either one of them had vocalized any intention to do so prior to one of them throwing out a ‘hey dinner at 7?’ kind of comment.)
It feels like the author tried to write a spicy book because it is popular, but it didn’t really land. When the MCs are supposed to be having sex, the writing is awkward. Things are over-explained as if to make 100% sure the reader can see things play out exactly as intended, but it comes across as a bizarre mix between romance novel and instruction manual that ends up being distracting and confusing.
Don’t get me wrong- I have read my fair share of books where the plot was just there to support there being sex. But when that happens, the plot is clearly explained even if there isn’t a lot of world building. In this case, there isn’t enough sex for the plot to just be supportive. Unfortunately, there also isn’t enough plot.
Out of nowhere Tyler decides to stop when he finds out that Nicholas doesn’t drink. It is only later that Tyler ends up admitting that he drinks on his own regularly to ‘stop feeling’. This feels like the most unexpected behavior from a likely alcoholic. And it really isn’t remarked on again
A character pesters Nicholas about getting drug tested to officially complete some employment paperwork, and he is so awkward about it that it feels like he is putting it off because he knows the results won’t be good. Instead it is finally resolved with a couple comments about it ring completed.
At one point Tyler says one of his duties is to handle marketing for the theater but later someone suggests that Nicholas, an intimacy coordinator, should take over their social media accounts for some reason.
For the record, the MCs also have a conversation where they claim that pansexuals can be sexually attracted to transgender and non binary people while bisexuals can only be sexually attracted to men or women. Which is both transphobic and implies that all bi people are transphobic as well.
Review of advance copy received from Author
What Wakes Within Us caught my attention straight away because of the intimacy coordinator/director angle...I haven’t really seen that in a romance before, so I was instantly curious.
Going in, it’s not enemies to lovers, but it definitely has that dislike to something more kind of vibe. Just a heads up...there are references to past trauma (possibly SA, not explicitly detailed), so it’s worth checking triggers before diving in.
I’ll be honest, the start was a bit slow for me. Around the first 20%, it felt like not much was happening between the main characters. But once I hit that 30–40% mark, something just clicked. It became clear this isn’t just about the romance, it’s really about identity, self-acceptance, and the relationship you have with yourself.
Tyler isn’t the easiest character to connect with at first. He’s very internal, very focused on small details, and it can feel a bit distant. But as the story goes on, that actually makes a lot of sense. His perspective reflects how small and controlled his world is, and that slow unraveling becomes one of the strongest parts of the book.
The relationship between Tyler and Nicholas builds quietly. There’s no big dramatic shift, just small moments, growing trust, and walls slowly coming down. It felt grounded, especially with the intimacy coordination element adding another layer of vulnerability and tension.
The tone overall is quite introspective. It leans into loneliness, hesitation, and that slow process of letting someone in. There’s a particular scene where Tyler opens up that really stuck with me...it felt raw and real in a way that wasn’t overdone.
That said, the pacing is a bit uneven, and the writing isn’t perfect (I read an ARC, so that may change). It’s definitely more of a character-driven, subtle story, so it won’t be for everyone, but if you’re in the mood for something quieter and a little different, it does grow on you.
I also really enjoyed the humour. The banter between Tyler and Nicholas was unexpectedly fun, and once they loosen up around each other, their dynamic becomes really engaging.
Overall, it’s a bit of a slow start, but one that’s worth sticking with. A thoughtful, introspective debut that feels genuine, even with its rough edges.
Going in, it’s not enemies to lovers, but it definitely has that dislike to something more kind of vibe. Just a heads up...there are references to past trauma (possibly SA, not explicitly detailed), so it’s worth checking triggers before diving in.
I’ll be honest, the start was a bit slow for me. Around the first 20%, it felt like not much was happening between the main characters. But once I hit that 30–40% mark, something just clicked. It became clear this isn’t just about the romance, it’s really about identity, self-acceptance, and the relationship you have with yourself.
Tyler isn’t the easiest character to connect with at first. He’s very internal, very focused on small details, and it can feel a bit distant. But as the story goes on, that actually makes a lot of sense. His perspective reflects how small and controlled his world is, and that slow unraveling becomes one of the strongest parts of the book.
The relationship between Tyler and Nicholas builds quietly. There’s no big dramatic shift, just small moments, growing trust, and walls slowly coming down. It felt grounded, especially with the intimacy coordination element adding another layer of vulnerability and tension.
The tone overall is quite introspective. It leans into loneliness, hesitation, and that slow process of letting someone in. There’s a particular scene where Tyler opens up that really stuck with me...it felt raw and real in a way that wasn’t overdone.
That said, the pacing is a bit uneven, and the writing isn’t perfect (I read an ARC, so that may change). It’s definitely more of a character-driven, subtle story, so it won’t be for everyone, but if you’re in the mood for something quieter and a little different, it does grow on you.
I also really enjoyed the humour. The banter between Tyler and Nicholas was unexpectedly fun, and once they loosen up around each other, their dynamic becomes really engaging.
Overall, it’s a bit of a slow start, but one that’s worth sticking with. A thoughtful, introspective debut that feels genuine, even with its rough edges.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
ARC given through netgally in exchange for an honest review. This is my honest review and contains my own opinions all thoughts and views are my own
This book initially hooked me because I saw it Intimacy coordinator/ director of a play and it's something I'd never seen or read before so I decided to read it to begin with there not enemies but it's giving dislike to love and I'm actually enjoying it content warning for I'm assuming SA it's not really specified what happened but it thats a trigger for you then go in aware of that. At around 20% I feel like nothing was really happening in the way of plot between our main characters. I got to around 30/40 % and the importance of this novel really started to click for me. This debut novel is not just about the love story and relationship between our main characters it's about the relationship with your own self and your identity there are so many beautiful quotes in this book regarding being unapologetically yourself because to quote the book.
"the world is changing but change is slow too slow for him especially lately when it feels more like 2 steps forward and 1 and a half steps back no he is done waiting for the world by the time it catches up to him he'll be long gone he will live his truth loudly and as poudly as he can some days it is easier than others but on all days it is important - for him he knows and for all the people like him he's learned" I love this quote because I think this author beautifully encapsulated how important being yourself is and how difficult that can be I think it encapsulates how the world treats anyone outside of whatever it is they see as 'normal'. I think this authors writing is beautiful and I can't wait to see what else they come out with because I love this
This book initially hooked me because I saw it Intimacy coordinator/ director of a play and it's something I'd never seen or read before so I decided to read it to begin with there not enemies but it's giving dislike to love and I'm actually enjoying it content warning for I'm assuming SA it's not really specified what happened but it thats a trigger for you then go in aware of that. At around 20% I feel like nothing was really happening in the way of plot between our main characters. I got to around 30/40 % and the importance of this novel really started to click for me. This debut novel is not just about the love story and relationship between our main characters it's about the relationship with your own self and your identity there are so many beautiful quotes in this book regarding being unapologetically yourself because to quote the book.
"the world is changing but change is slow too slow for him especially lately when it feels more like 2 steps forward and 1 and a half steps back no he is done waiting for the world by the time it catches up to him he'll be long gone he will live his truth loudly and as poudly as he can some days it is easier than others but on all days it is important - for him he knows and for all the people like him he's learned" I love this quote because I think this author beautifully encapsulated how important being yourself is and how difficult that can be I think it encapsulates how the world treats anyone outside of whatever it is they see as 'normal'. I think this authors writing is beautiful and I can't wait to see what else they come out with because I love this
Review of advance copy
This is a book that is a struggle to start but at the end your are glad you persevered. The writing isn’t perfect but i had an arc copy so hopefully this will be updated, the pacing also felt a bit uneven at times, but there’s something very genuine here. It’s a more introspective, character-driven romance that won’t work for everyone, but if you’re in the mood for something subtle and a little different. It ended up being a quiet, thoughtful read that grew on me the more I settled into it.
Tyler isn’t the easiest narrator to click with right away. He’s very inward-focused, noticing small, sometimes odd details, and at first it felt a bit disconnected. But as the story goes on, that actually becomes one of its strengths. His perspective reflects just how small and controlled his world has become, and how isolated he really is.
The dynamic between Tyler and Nicholas develops in a really understated way. There’s no big dramatic push, just a gradual shift as trust builds and walls start to come down. I appreciated how grounded their interactions felt, especially in a setting that’s all about performance and vulnerability. The intimacy coordination aspect added an interesting layer too, both professionally and emotionally.
What stood out most to me was the tone. It’s not overly dramatic but leans into quieter emotions like loneliness, hesitation, and the slow process of letting someone in. There’s one scene in particular where Tyler opens up that really hit, because it felt so honest and unpolished. I would definately do a re read once released in December to see if improvements were made as it will be worth it.
I received a free arc copy and this is my honest review
Tyler isn’t the easiest narrator to click with right away. He’s very inward-focused, noticing small, sometimes odd details, and at first it felt a bit disconnected. But as the story goes on, that actually becomes one of its strengths. His perspective reflects just how small and controlled his world has become, and how isolated he really is.
The dynamic between Tyler and Nicholas develops in a really understated way. There’s no big dramatic push, just a gradual shift as trust builds and walls start to come down. I appreciated how grounded their interactions felt, especially in a setting that’s all about performance and vulnerability. The intimacy coordination aspect added an interesting layer too, both professionally and emotionally.
What stood out most to me was the tone. It’s not overly dramatic but leans into quieter emotions like loneliness, hesitation, and the slow process of letting someone in. There’s one scene in particular where Tyler opens up that really hit, because it felt so honest and unpolished. I would definately do a re read once released in December to see if improvements were made as it will be worth it.
I received a free arc copy and this is my honest review
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I saw this book on NetGalley and got curious: and intimacy coordinator and a director of a show. And they're gay. It sounded good but I never heard of the book or the author so I was skeptical. Well, not anymore. I had a great time reading this book.
I loved the writing, which is something that usually doesn't affect my reading experience much but in this case, it totally made it even better. I don't know how to describe what made it so good but it was easy to read and it felt like watching a movie. I could picture everything. But also, the character's thoughts actually felt like what goes inside a real person's head.
I really liked the characters. They were funny individually and their dinamic was even funnier. Their quick-witted dialogue and the way they were so confortable with each other had me smiling and laughing out loud at times, especially in moments like "I'm gay so I'm basically a woman" (this is not a direct quote, just similar to what was written).
Anyway, the romance wasn't exactly a slow burn but it also wasn't super quick. It's more like, the characters didn't really like each other at first, especially Nicholas, but as they got to work together, their opinions of each other change and soon they're going on dates. In a way, it's a fast burn after the first half of the book where Nicholas doesn't even let Tyler call him Nick. But even for me, who loves a good slow burn, this was an easy read and an enjoyable one as well.
It's a small book but I also feel like if it was bigger it could've gotten boring after a while so I'm happy with the lenght of it.
I loved the writing, which is something that usually doesn't affect my reading experience much but in this case, it totally made it even better. I don't know how to describe what made it so good but it was easy to read and it felt like watching a movie. I could picture everything. But also, the character's thoughts actually felt like what goes inside a real person's head.
I really liked the characters. They were funny individually and their dinamic was even funnier. Their quick-witted dialogue and the way they were so confortable with each other had me smiling and laughing out loud at times, especially in moments like "I'm gay so I'm basically a woman" (this is not a direct quote, just similar to what was written).
Anyway, the romance wasn't exactly a slow burn but it also wasn't super quick. It's more like, the characters didn't really like each other at first, especially Nicholas, but as they got to work together, their opinions of each other change and soon they're going on dates. In a way, it's a fast burn after the first half of the book where Nicholas doesn't even let Tyler call him Nick. But even for me, who loves a good slow burn, this was an easy read and an enjoyable one as well.
It's a small book but I also feel like if it was bigger it could've gotten boring after a while so I'm happy with the lenght of it.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
On a personal note, I am not a fan of letting a cat sit on a stove, especially not one with a warm burner. Yes, the burner may have been turned off, but personally … just one of those things that would, IRL, have me judging someone.
Front loaded with flashbacks, this book is all over the place. It takes place in a theater, but the focus is on the romance between the director, who is a very entitled white man who can’t seem to care that someone tells him — several times — to call them by their name and not a nickname. Fortunately for Tyler, Nicholas decides he’s hot enough that he’ll let Tyler call him what he wants since Tyler’s neither bright enough, nor cares enough or able to figure it out.
Tyler is lonely, because no one talks to him anymore. His old friends have moved away and gotten lives, and Tyler just isn’t in their lives anymore. Tyler also hasn’t bothered to make new friends. He’s passive — like the writing — and left to his own devices would be a non entity in his own life. If it weren’t for Nick, never Nicholas, because Tyler doesn’t want to call him by his name, Tyler would just continue on as he has.
Nicholas is a good person who thinks of others. He cares about them, their comfort and their sense of safety, and in Tyler he sees a very handsome man with a big dick who has no one else. Nicholas also needs a friend, having moved to a new town for this job, and it’s not like Tyler is terrible. I have a feeling with Nicholas taking him in hand Tyler will learn to be a more compassionate person, and one more involved in the world.
Front loaded with flashbacks, this book is all over the place. It takes place in a theater, but the focus is on the romance between the director, who is a very entitled white man who can’t seem to care that someone tells him — several times — to call them by their name and not a nickname. Fortunately for Tyler, Nicholas decides he’s hot enough that he’ll let Tyler call him what he wants since Tyler’s neither bright enough, nor cares enough or able to figure it out.
Tyler is lonely, because no one talks to him anymore. His old friends have moved away and gotten lives, and Tyler just isn’t in their lives anymore. Tyler also hasn’t bothered to make new friends. He’s passive — like the writing — and left to his own devices would be a non entity in his own life. If it weren’t for Nick, never Nicholas, because Tyler doesn’t want to call him by his name, Tyler would just continue on as he has.
Nicholas is a good person who thinks of others. He cares about them, their comfort and their sense of safety, and in Tyler he sees a very handsome man with a big dick who has no one else. Nicholas also needs a friend, having moved to a new town for this job, and it’s not like Tyler is terrible. I have a feeling with Nicholas taking him in hand Tyler will learn to be a more compassionate person, and one more involved in the world.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Review of an advance copy from NetGalley. No incentive was provided in exchange for my honest opinion.
Reading this was a real struggle. The use of the passive voice gave me a sense of 'othering'. The main characters felt flat as a result.
There are confusing references that make sense if you push through far enough, but are maddening in the moment e.g. "the younger man hadn't moved" ok fine, but this is at the beginning of a chapter, with no context clues. This may be a personal peeve, but as a reader, implied reference needs to be well established.
The early chapters really have a pacing issue. 10 chapters in and 1 main character has the personality of a potted plant, and the other... exists. With a fixation on the banal that fills pages.
When the 2nd MC gets a proper look-in, half way through the book! And even then it's fleeting.
The first date is weird; a PSA on the ills of the gay community and addictive substances? Be still my beating heart.
Is there a reason we have to be periodically reminded that there's an older-younger dynamic? It's a decade not a century.
One date and it's already in "you're the light of my life" territory? Eeek, ruuuuun! That flag is crimson 🚩
The "angst" moment feels contrived. I get that what happened was unacceptable, but the histrionics around it were worthy of the play itself!
Overall, the idea is novel, and the character concepts are solid. But the execution sadly leaves me wishing this was the pitch for someone else to write.
Reading this was a real struggle. The use of the passive voice gave me a sense of 'othering'. The main characters felt flat as a result.
There are confusing references that make sense if you push through far enough, but are maddening in the moment e.g. "the younger man hadn't moved" ok fine, but this is at the beginning of a chapter, with no context clues. This may be a personal peeve, but as a reader, implied reference needs to be well established.
The early chapters really have a pacing issue. 10 chapters in and 1 main character has the personality of a potted plant, and the other... exists. With a fixation on the banal that fills pages.
When the 2nd MC gets a proper look-in, half way through the book! And even then it's fleeting.
The first date is weird; a PSA on the ills of the gay community and addictive substances? Be still my beating heart.
Is there a reason we have to be periodically reminded that there's an older-younger dynamic? It's a decade not a century.
One date and it's already in "you're the light of my life" territory? Eeek, ruuuuun! That flag is crimson 🚩
The "angst" moment feels contrived. I get that what happened was unacceptable, but the histrionics around it were worthy of the play itself!
Overall, the idea is novel, and the character concepts are solid. But the execution sadly leaves me wishing this was the pitch for someone else to write.
Review of advance copy
My review
🌕🌕🌗
The pace is weird, and both MCs come across as stuck up and unwilling to work together or respect each other for a bit. Why does Tyler continue to shorten Nicholas’ name even after he’s told he prefers Nicholas? And how he wants his to call him Tyler instead of that last name that nobody knows how to write. And Monica calling him on a Friday telling him, have a good weekend but be prepared for bad news, but have a good weekend. There are a lot of details that don’t make sense, and the pacing is really slow when working together, but really fast when getting together? It just felt really odd, with tidbits from Tyler’s past that don’t explain anything, and details that are fudged over and rushed through, while others linger or are repeated… it was a good idea, it has good bones, so to speak, but I think it needs a bit more work, because those two should never have worked together, and I didn’t even liked them getting together for most of the book! It gets better, but when I’m hoping for the story to get moving halfway through the book, and it feels to me like pacing needs to be worked in. But the idea is really good, the execution felt rushed.
(Received and ARC and I leave my voluntary review)
🌕🌕🌗
The pace is weird, and both MCs come across as stuck up and unwilling to work together or respect each other for a bit. Why does Tyler continue to shorten Nicholas’ name even after he’s told he prefers Nicholas? And how he wants his to call him Tyler instead of that last name that nobody knows how to write. And Monica calling him on a Friday telling him, have a good weekend but be prepared for bad news, but have a good weekend. There are a lot of details that don’t make sense, and the pacing is really slow when working together, but really fast when getting together? It just felt really odd, with tidbits from Tyler’s past that don’t explain anything, and details that are fudged over and rushed through, while others linger or are repeated… it was a good idea, it has good bones, so to speak, but I think it needs a bit more work, because those two should never have worked together, and I didn’t even liked them getting together for most of the book! It gets better, but when I’m hoping for the story to get moving halfway through the book, and it feels to me like pacing needs to be worked in. But the idea is really good, the execution felt rushed.
(Received and ARC and I leave my voluntary review)
Review of advance copy
ARC provided for no cost by Gay Romance Reviews. This is my honest review.
This is a debut novel and I was excited to see it was written by a gay man! It’s refreshing in MM romance genre to hear the voice of someone who is a gay man.
The story is about Tyler, the stage director for a small Ohio theatre company, and Nicholas, an intimacy coordinator hired after an incident takes place during one of their rehearsals. At first, Tyler had little use or desire for Nicholas to be working on the production with him and Nicholas thinks maybe Tyler doesn’t care enough about what’s going on.
They end up understanding each other better and realizing they both have a lot of the same feelings of isolation and loneliness and not being sure of their place in the world.
The writing was at times a little bit clunky but overall the pacing was decent. The spice was well written and I found the way these two end up in a sexual relationship to be a breath of fresh air. They aren’t shy about wanting each other sexually. There are no games or need for pining away before something happens. They have some issues but they are able to figure te out.
Overall a good debut novel!
This is a debut novel and I was excited to see it was written by a gay man! It’s refreshing in MM romance genre to hear the voice of someone who is a gay man.
The story is about Tyler, the stage director for a small Ohio theatre company, and Nicholas, an intimacy coordinator hired after an incident takes place during one of their rehearsals. At first, Tyler had little use or desire for Nicholas to be working on the production with him and Nicholas thinks maybe Tyler doesn’t care enough about what’s going on.
They end up understanding each other better and realizing they both have a lot of the same feelings of isolation and loneliness and not being sure of their place in the world.
The writing was at times a little bit clunky but overall the pacing was decent. The spice was well written and I found the way these two end up in a sexual relationship to be a breath of fresh air. They aren’t shy about wanting each other sexually. There are no games or need for pining away before something happens. They have some issues but they are able to figure te out.
Overall a good debut novel!
Review of advance copy
ARC Review courtesy of gay.romance.reviews
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
✨📖 what wakes within us, by Brian Steppenwolf is is overall a short and entertaining read. This is such an easy read that pulls you in quickly and keeps the pages turning.
💙👬 Tyler and Nicholas are the heart of this story. Tyler’s vulnerability and quiet resilience balance beautifully with Nicholas’s steadiness and emotional depth. Their dynamic feels genuine, even when the situation around them adds tension. I really enjoyed their chemistry, though at times I wanted just a little more exploration of their inner worlds.
🌿✨ The story flows smoothly, blending romance with themes of starting over, found family, and emotional healing. The development between the characters is steady and believable, even if the plot itself plays it a bit safe. It doesn’t try to be overly complex, which honestly adds to its charm as a comforting, easy read.
⭐💫 Overall, a solid and enjoyable MM romance that delivers on emotion and connection. It may not completely break the mould, but it’s heartfelt, engaging, and definitely worth picking up for a cozy, feel-good read.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
✨📖 what wakes within us, by Brian Steppenwolf is is overall a short and entertaining read. This is such an easy read that pulls you in quickly and keeps the pages turning.
💙👬 Tyler and Nicholas are the heart of this story. Tyler’s vulnerability and quiet resilience balance beautifully with Nicholas’s steadiness and emotional depth. Their dynamic feels genuine, even when the situation around them adds tension. I really enjoyed their chemistry, though at times I wanted just a little more exploration of their inner worlds.
🌿✨ The story flows smoothly, blending romance with themes of starting over, found family, and emotional healing. The development between the characters is steady and believable, even if the plot itself plays it a bit safe. It doesn’t try to be overly complex, which honestly adds to its charm as a comforting, easy read.
⭐💫 Overall, a solid and enjoyable MM romance that delivers on emotion and connection. It may not completely break the mould, but it’s heartfelt, engaging, and definitely worth picking up for a cozy, feel-good read.
Review of advance copy
*ARC Review*
In What Wakes Within Us, we follow Tyler, the director for the Redvine, a community production stage, and who's work tends to dominate his life. When an uncomfortable intimacy situation happens on set, Tyler's boss brings in a young intimacy coordinator in to help the actors walk through theirs problems. Will Tyler and this young man clash, or will they work together?
I really liked how the story of these two was framed with going through the confrontation that happened on set.
Although, I thought it was a bit weird how comfortable Nick was to just jump into a relationship pretty fast with one of his coworkers, while they were dealing with a human relations situation... but that might just be me.
Besides that, where I really felt like this book shined was the realistic depiction of just growing as a person and growing apart from a lot of people you believed to be friends. It was real and sad and hopeful for other queer people like me that hope there's another queer person for them out there.
Suffice to say, this was a cute little book and I would highly reccomend it.
In What Wakes Within Us, we follow Tyler, the director for the Redvine, a community production stage, and who's work tends to dominate his life. When an uncomfortable intimacy situation happens on set, Tyler's boss brings in a young intimacy coordinator in to help the actors walk through theirs problems. Will Tyler and this young man clash, or will they work together?
I really liked how the story of these two was framed with going through the confrontation that happened on set.
Although, I thought it was a bit weird how comfortable Nick was to just jump into a relationship pretty fast with one of his coworkers, while they were dealing with a human relations situation... but that might just be me.
Besides that, where I really felt like this book shined was the realistic depiction of just growing as a person and growing apart from a lot of people you believed to be friends. It was real and sad and hopeful for other queer people like me that hope there's another queer person for them out there.
Suffice to say, this was a cute little book and I would highly reccomend it.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I personally loved this book from the very beginning. I felt the author did a wonderful job of portraying his characters in the theater life wonderfully.
For starters you have Tyler who is very organized and controlled. He loves his life to be that way. It's easier so to speak. Then during a rehearsal things come to an uneasy halt and that is when an Intimacy coordinator is brought in. Nicholas which is said coordinator comes in to help rebuild trust and help everyone learn proper consent. This is hard for Tyler because he is used to shaping the performances how he wants, where with Nicholas there he has to relinquish control. During this time Tyler and Nicholas start to fall for each other a lot. Do they learn to balance this I will leave it up to you to read.
Overall, I think the author did a wonderful job with the characters, He also did a great job at letting the intimacy between the characters bloom naturally. Which to me is so amazing in romances. So, if you love MM Romances, with theater, 2nd chances, and a mmc learning to open up and be his true self this is for you.
For starters you have Tyler who is very organized and controlled. He loves his life to be that way. It's easier so to speak. Then during a rehearsal things come to an uneasy halt and that is when an Intimacy coordinator is brought in. Nicholas which is said coordinator comes in to help rebuild trust and help everyone learn proper consent. This is hard for Tyler because he is used to shaping the performances how he wants, where with Nicholas there he has to relinquish control. During this time Tyler and Nicholas start to fall for each other a lot. Do they learn to balance this I will leave it up to you to read.
Overall, I think the author did a wonderful job with the characters, He also did a great job at letting the intimacy between the characters bloom naturally. Which to me is so amazing in romances. So, if you love MM Romances, with theater, 2nd chances, and a mmc learning to open up and be his true self this is for you.
Review of advance copy
2,5 stars.
I feel bad giving only 2,5 stars because I admire the bravery of new authors in this world.
That said, there were things I liked, but also things I struggled with. First off, I really loved the premises. The idea of a setting in a theatre production, where an intimacy coordinator is needed (for reasons), was pretty good. The main and side characters were good too, although I would’ve wished for more layers with Nicholas and Tyler. Their relationship moved way too fast for my liking. Yes, attraction happens instantly but the rushed feelings felt unbelievable without there being any lead up and development of their emotions.
I really struggled with the writing. Some times I felt as if I was missing something and didn’t know what (or when it) was happening. There were a lot of descriptions that were unnecessary in my opinion. And I didn’t care for the “the older man” and “the younger man” phrases. Just go with their names, please!
So all in all, while I had some issues with it, there were parts I enjoyed and I felt entertained while reading this.
I feel bad giving only 2,5 stars because I admire the bravery of new authors in this world.
That said, there were things I liked, but also things I struggled with. First off, I really loved the premises. The idea of a setting in a theatre production, where an intimacy coordinator is needed (for reasons), was pretty good. The main and side characters were good too, although I would’ve wished for more layers with Nicholas and Tyler. Their relationship moved way too fast for my liking. Yes, attraction happens instantly but the rushed feelings felt unbelievable without there being any lead up and development of their emotions.
I really struggled with the writing. Some times I felt as if I was missing something and didn’t know what (or when it) was happening. There were a lot of descriptions that were unnecessary in my opinion. And I didn’t care for the “the older man” and “the younger man” phrases. Just go with their names, please!
So all in all, while I had some issues with it, there were parts I enjoyed and I felt entertained while reading this.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
A Joyfully Jay review.
3.25 stars
This is a slow, drifting book with some strange pacing choices. It begins on Monday morning with Tyler meeting Nicholas — whose name he can’t be bothered to remember in a sweepy microagression through much of the book, even though Nicholas tells him several times he wants to be called Nicholas, not Nick or Nicky. It then flashes back to the events of the past Friday, where Tyler learns a complaint has been lodged against him at the community theater. And it continues that way for several chapters, in the present — and present tense — one moment, and the past the next, until the past catches up to the present.
If you want something quiet and contained, you might enjoy this, but I don’t suggest this if you’re looking for a book with more of a plot, or more of a focus on the theater.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
3.25 stars
This is a slow, drifting book with some strange pacing choices. It begins on Monday morning with Tyler meeting Nicholas — whose name he can’t be bothered to remember in a sweepy microagression through much of the book, even though Nicholas tells him several times he wants to be called Nicholas, not Nick or Nicky. It then flashes back to the events of the past Friday, where Tyler learns a complaint has been lodged against him at the community theater. And it continues that way for several chapters, in the present — and present tense — one moment, and the past the next, until the past catches up to the present.
If you want something quiet and contained, you might enjoy this, but I don’t suggest this if you’re looking for a book with more of a plot, or more of a focus on the theater.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
Review of advance copy
This was the first book I've read by this author. It's a relatively short story about an intimacy coordinator stepping into a theatre production after an incident and finding a connection with the quiet, older director of the play. It was an interesting environment as I haven't read a lot of books happening in the theatre scene. The characters had good chemistry and we don't learn a hell of a lot about Nick, but I really liked the glimpse into Tyler's life. He was such an interesting, understated and deeply lonely character.
The writing was almost clinical and felt distant which didn't help with the emotional connection. Sometimes it felt like the author had some thoughts about society they wanted to write down and share and while they were not wrong they didn't really fit into the narrative.
The writing was almost clinical and felt distant which didn't help with the emotional connection. Sometimes it felt like the author had some thoughts about society they wanted to write down and share and while they were not wrong they didn't really fit into the narrative.
Review of advance copy
I read this book because I love doing theatre work with the little theatre group near me and this book was offered through GRR. I liked the basic story and especially as intimacy coordinators have been in the news lately especially because of Heated Rivalry. I was debating bet two or three stars because of the problems, but gave it three because I did like the story. I did like the conversation about testing before the couples first encounter. It’s a small thing, but I feel that it’s important for all characters to model this as normal and expected. There were also some very interesting side characters.
What I did not like: I really think this book needs another edit because it really drags at times and the voice (I think it’s called passive voice) made me feel ick. I know it’s a style choice, but it kept tripping me up as I read and kept bringing me out of the story.
What I did not like: I really think this book needs another edit because it really drags at times and the voice (I think it’s called passive voice) made me feel ick. I know it’s a style choice, but it kept tripping me up as I read and kept bringing me out of the story.
Review of advance copy
I was hoping this book would contain lots of information about Nick's job as an intimacy coordinator, what is involved, what one can bring to a production and from the blurb, why Nick needed to be called in here. It met and exceeded all those expectations. I enjoyed the two main characters because of the way their personalities and jobs were bound to clash right from the start. Tyler has his life rigidly laid out and it's clear that's more than just to make things smooth, it's a necessary survival mechanism for him at the beginning of the book. As Nick becomes more and more a part of his life both personally and professionally, it was interesting to see them open up to each other and come to understand and trust each other in different ways and to see how that affected Tyler's choices. I look forward to more books by this author.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Brian Steppenwolf is a new voice for gay writers. Tyler is a director of a small town in Ohio, and the theater, well they had an incident with two actors. Nicholas, the intimacy coordinator, was hired to take care of this issue. However, intimacy starts with both men as the attraction is immediate.
The back story of each men, tells an actual story of real life people that we have all seen. The conversations are real, the spice is really nice, as if pulled from real experiences.
The characters are fully flushed out and feel like real people. It's a breath of fresh air to what normal queer novels that are pushed out and that feel too romanticized. Congrats Brian! looking forward to what's next!
The back story of each men, tells an actual story of real life people that we have all seen. The conversations are real, the spice is really nice, as if pulled from real experiences.
The characters are fully flushed out and feel like real people. It's a breath of fresh air to what normal queer novels that are pushed out and that feel too romanticized. Congrats Brian! looking forward to what's next!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
The first half was difficult for me to get through. It felt slow and I struggled to understand what was happening. I almost gave up on this book but it definitely got better.
The relationship between the characters was cute and I loved the communication. The characters were interesting and I enjoyed them. The author did a good job at making them have a strong connection despite being a shorter story.
Overall the story and characters were good but the writing style wasn’t my favorite. This is a debut novel and I see the potential and want to congratulate Brian Steppenwolf on their work. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how their writing will grow in the future!
Thank you NetGalley and Brian Steppenwolf for this eARC
The relationship between the characters was cute and I loved the communication. The characters were interesting and I enjoyed them. The author did a good job at making them have a strong connection despite being a shorter story.
Overall the story and characters were good but the writing style wasn’t my favorite. This is a debut novel and I see the potential and want to congratulate Brian Steppenwolf on their work. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how their writing will grow in the future!
Thank you NetGalley and Brian Steppenwolf for this eARC
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to Netgalley for letting me read an ARC of this book!
I love Tyler and Nick together. They seem really good together and Nick was able to help Tyler with some of his issues while Tyler managed to be understanding when it came to Nick. In general was the cast of characters very lovely though you don't get to see them a lot (apart from Rex, Rex is not liked).
Though there is an age gap between Nick and Tyler, at 28 and 38 I don't think it's a big deal but it is something I appreciate. With Tyler being very routine focused I liked how Nick got incorporated into it (though getting up at 4 a.m. is crazy in my opinion).
The setting of a theatre was something I don't think I had read before and I found it to be very cool especially with the little gesture at the end.
I love Tyler and Nick together. They seem really good together and Nick was able to help Tyler with some of his issues while Tyler managed to be understanding when it came to Nick. In general was the cast of characters very lovely though you don't get to see them a lot (apart from Rex, Rex is not liked).
Though there is an age gap between Nick and Tyler, at 28 and 38 I don't think it's a big deal but it is something I appreciate. With Tyler being very routine focused I liked how Nick got incorporated into it (though getting up at 4 a.m. is crazy in my opinion).
The setting of a theatre was something I don't think I had read before and I found it to be very cool especially with the little gesture at the end.
Review of advance copy
Tyler is a director who strives on his control and managing but in theater you have to expect the unexpected as things happen and sometimes you have to pivot and work with others. But Tyler isn't great with that but when he needs to work with Nicholas who is an intimacy coordinator who plays an important role to have a successful production. Now Tyler has to give up some control but the more he works with Nicholas the more comfortable he is and the more comfortable they are together. This was a fun, sweet witty book written by a debut author who is also a gay man which gave this story a unique and personal perspective. I enjoyed this book and the cover is beautiful. I'm looking foward to see what other books he puts out.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
First, Thank you to NetGalley for providing the ARC for this book.
I really wanted to love this novel. The synopsis sounded exactly like something I would enjoy reading about. However, it just didn't hit for me. It felt extremely clunky and poorly written, like it was trying to be the outline of a tv drama or something. It just didn't work. There was a lot of details that didn't help the storyline at all and made it really hard to continue wanting to care about Tyler, one of our main characters. I also didn't get the chemistry between Tyler and Nicholas. It felt really one sided (Tyler's side) until all of a sudden Nicholas was in it and acted like he had been the entire time when we never really saw it.
Overall, I liked the idea of this, I just think it was poorly executed.
I really wanted to love this novel. The synopsis sounded exactly like something I would enjoy reading about. However, it just didn't hit for me. It felt extremely clunky and poorly written, like it was trying to be the outline of a tv drama or something. It just didn't work. There was a lot of details that didn't help the storyline at all and made it really hard to continue wanting to care about Tyler, one of our main characters. I also didn't get the chemistry between Tyler and Nicholas. It felt really one sided (Tyler's side) until all of a sudden Nicholas was in it and acted like he had been the entire time when we never really saw it.
Overall, I liked the idea of this, I just think it was poorly executed.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
What Wakes Within Us by Brian Steppenwolf is a second chance romance with an off-brand Spring Awakening musical at the heart of the story.
I found the writing, especially the first half of the novel, to be a bit of a clunky time. At times I feel like I was dumped into a scene without the correct primer to know what is happening. The characters did not standout as much as I feel is necessary in a romance novel, so I felt a bit at arm's length throughout the read. I do think that this would be well received by those that enjoy MM Romance and theater as a plot device.
Overall, I found this to be a passable romance novel that didn't reinvent the wheel, but was still an enjoyable time.
Thanks to NetGalley and PANIC Press for the eARC of this novel. #WhatWakesWithinUs #NetGalley
I found the writing, especially the first half of the novel, to be a bit of a clunky time. At times I feel like I was dumped into a scene without the correct primer to know what is happening. The characters did not standout as much as I feel is necessary in a romance novel, so I felt a bit at arm's length throughout the read. I do think that this would be well received by those that enjoy MM Romance and theater as a plot device.
Overall, I found this to be a passable romance novel that didn't reinvent the wheel, but was still an enjoyable time.
Thanks to NetGalley and PANIC Press for the eARC of this novel. #WhatWakesWithinUs #NetGalley
Review of advance copy
This one felt real in a way that a story sometimes can and that almost serves as as much of a wake up call as anything else. Tyler has an approach to doing things that he has gotten used to and a situation, of his making, is forcing him to rely on someone else. More than anything in this story we are witnessing Tyler's growth which evolves at a good and realistic pace. Even the relationship between Tyler and Nicholas evolves and in a lot of ways the understated way that the author chooses to tell this story makes it so much more powerful. I am glad I read it.
I received an ARC from GRR and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received an ARC from GRR and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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