Nothing gold can stay: the colors of grief

by Mark Belletini

In twenty-two simple yet profound reflections, seasoned minister Mark Belletini explores the many and varied forms of grief. His honest, poetic essays serve as a prism, revealing the distinct colors and manifestations of grief in our lives. He addresses the way we respond to loss of people in our lives, loss of love, loss of focus, and loss of the familiar—understanding that grief is as much a part of our lives as our breathing. Belletini uses specific and personal stories to open up to the universal experience. Nothing Gold Can Stay is a gift of awareness, showing how the shades of grief serve our deepest needs.

144 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Dana Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief is a topic many would chose to avoid if it was in a title of a book. Yet Rev Belletini shows in the stories from his own life and ministry how grief is actually a portal to greater spiritual depth and awakening. Grief and losses are directly connected and when we experience loss, we experience grief in its many forms and manifestations. Isn't the grief that comes from losing something precious painful? Of course it is, but there is a window that opens from such a loss, if we can just see it, which will teach us something about ourselves; why the object was precious in the first place and what remains after it is gone. This book is a great aid to those of us negotiating the second half of life where losses tend to mount up.

[KC Marie Pandell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured it in one sitting, all 100+ pages of it. There were parts of it that resonated with me so deeply that I wept, others that I laughed, and so much of it was beautifully reflective. I’m going to be thinking about it all week, and won’t be surprised if I read it again before week’s end.
In the aftermath of my boyfriend & soulmate’s death, this brought me great clarity and comfort. I only hope I can remember these readings when the different tides of grief some rolling in and out, and that they continue to bring me some sense of peace within the chaos.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quotable:
[G]rief is like that word color because it has a variety of authentic meanings. Some of these meanings blend, some don't. As an artist, I can blend certain blues and yellows to create a rich green, but sometimes, a pure unblended crimson is what works best on the canvas.

Refusing to embrace grief in all it's richness is like deciding to hold our breath to live more fully, or pretending we are not thirsty when we are. It really makes little sense to avoid this gift, which I might even call a spiritual gift or path.

The depression felt physical to me. I thought if someone drew my blood for a medical test, it would simply weigh three times more than usual.

[E]very time someone dies, a hole open up in your heart. And it never closes, as far as I can tell. By the time you are ninety years old, all you have left is a big hole. So it's time to go.

I've noticed that a major expression of grief is a sustained inability to focus.
When I am in this state, I find I cannot follow through, I cannot keep commitments and routines that normally order and structure my life. All of a sudden they seem a bit empty, vague and even pointless. Even when a friend calls me up to try and "distract" me because I am grieving, I find that I don't need to be distracted by anyone - everything is distracting!

Relief is a significant chapter in the scrolls of grief. We need not feel ashamed or guilty about our sense of relief that accompanies the death of someone who has suffered.

Call it a religious proclamation or call it philosophy, it seems pretty true to me, and I find myself holding on less tightly to things - and even people - as I grow older.

I marvel that there are people in Malaysia and Nunavat and in the cities of Perm or Valparaiso I will never know, yet whose lives are as important to them as mine is to me.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love be with us in all our beginnings and endings." This is the last statement in this book and it pretty much sums it up. I spent the last few hours reading this and savoring such rich poignant writing and a genuine heartfelt sharing by this author. He writes about loss (all kinds) and mourning as a part of our living, not taking from the beauty, although something that is a part of shaping our lives. I love the contribution of poetry with stories and metaphors that are rich with meaning. Truly, I can't give it justice here. And I have read many grief books over the years and this one is fresh, touches on so many aspects of individualized grieving and the author gets it. I recommend this to counselors and anyone who wants to understand grief and mourning

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspired insights from our cherished former minister. The book is organized in bite-sized morsels of contemplation that can be read all at once or used as a reference guide in crisis. Each discusses grief in combination with another factor, such as depression, theology, music, weariness and ritual. Lovely.