Off Ramp: How to Be a Peacemaker in an Age of Contempt

by Spencer Cox, Jonathan Haidt

“A huge majority of Americans love our country and want a healthier, happier civic life. Governor Spencer Cox’s Off Ramp is the guide we need to get us there.” —Arthur C. Brooks, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Meaning of Your Life

“A levelheaded recipe for getting away from the death spiral of partisanship that threatens to extinguish the supremely American virtues of compromise, resilience, problem-solving, and empathy. . . . A road map for restoration and repair.” —Ken Burns, two-time Academy Award nominee and Emmy and Peabody Award–winning producer and director of The Civil War and The American Revolution

Utah Governor Spencer Cox’s practical guide to depolarization teaches us how to disagree better at the dinner table, on social media, and in American politics

In September 2025, following the assassination of Charlie Kirk, Governor Spencer Cox stood at a podium and addressed a fractured and grieving nation.

He urged Americans to find a way to stop hating one another, or—at the very least, he said—to stop shooting each other. His words were balm to a nation desperate for an off ramp from rising political violence.

But a single speech cannot transform a country. It takes all of us working together. It takes a blueprint for healing, depolarization, and peacemaking.

Off Ramp is that blueprint.

In this practical and patriotic guide, Governor Cox pulls from his experience at the highest levels of civic leadership and cutting-edge depolarization research to encourage Americans to disagree better and restore the respect that we once had even for our political rivals. As America approaches the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, it’s time to remember what makes America strong, and leave behind the behaviors and rhetoric that threaten to destroy us.

Genres: Politics

Audible Audio

Published September 8, 2026

About the author

Spencer Cox is a husband, father, farmer, business leader, recovering attorney, and Utah’s 18th governor. His career in public service — from city council member and mayor to county commissioner, state legislator, lieutenant governor, and now governor — has been shaped by a dedication to depolarization and a commitment to peacemaking. As chair of the National Governors Association from 2023 to 2024, he launched the bipartisan “Disagree Better” initiative, a national effort to model healthier civic engagement.

Reviews

[Helena Babington · Rating 5 out of 5]

If the people who trashed the author in their reviews here really read this book, they obviously didn’t learn a thing from it. We all need to learn how to disagree respectfully. Before it’s too late.

Even if I don’t agree with the author’s politics, I completely agree with his book and respect his demonstration of its principles in real life. Thank you sir.

[Serge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the care with which this book was composed. Governor Cox has undertaken the difficult task of tempering our national appetite for outrage and our sinful contempt for each other. He roots his countercultural proposal in the insights from Lincoln's Lyceum address about national suicide. He contextualizes his work on depolarization by sharing tenets of his faith and lessons from his deep dive into political science. He preached this Gospel of forgiveness, unmerited grace, and unconditional love of neighbor in the wake of the political assassination of Charlie Kirk last year and reiterates in this book that "political violence doesn't stop the speech of victims, it creates a vulture of intimidation." He recounts the multiple missteps and acts of rhetorical terror that have brought us to this nadir. He connects polarization to an epidemic of loneliness. He argues for an America that returns to the communalism that de Tocqueville observed in the 1830s during his sojourn in America. To get there, we will need to stop scrolling alone (a play on Putnam's Bowling Alone). We want to avoid the parochialism that makes us in-group partisans, but we have to rediscover relationship and community. Social media through its pernicious algorithms exacerbates identity politics ('a weapon we use against our fellow Americans'). I commend the Governor for ending the book with practical next steps for his readers. We may be strangers to each other if we only consider our political affinities. We don't have to treat strangers as enemies, as the Governor so wisely states

[Kody Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like Spencer Cox and the work he is doing to help people disagree better. We live in a very divided world where people on the left and right often seem to hate each other. This book’s message is simple but very important: we can disagree without treating each other badly.

Cox has shown real courage in speaking out against the anger and contempt in our politics. He is not asking people to give up their beliefs. He is asking us to remember that people on the other side are still good people who deserve respect.

The book can feel a little overly sincere at times, but that also makes its hopeful message feel genuine. This is a powerful and necessary book for the moment we are living in.

[Jake Richards · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very disjointed and self-serving book by a poor public servant who seems to honor the will of his benefactors far more than the will of the constituents he claims to serve. But thanks for the free book, governor!

[Lael Prince · Rating 1 out of 5]

Someone explain to me how a sitting governor has time to write a book? Doesn’t sound like he’s serving the people….

[Marc Mendoza · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not good. This book is not worth the money.

[Lottie C · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

I don’t agree with this guy’s politics—I’m not even American—but, on balance, this was a thoughtful political memoir