Off Ramp: How to Be a Peacemaker in an Age of Contempt

by Spencer Cox, Jonathan Haidt (Foreword)

Utah Governor Spencer Cox's practical guide to depolarization teaches us how to disagree better at the dinner table, on social media, and in American politics

On September 10, 2025, Governor Spencer Cox stood at a podium and soothed a nation after the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

He encouraged Americans to find a way to stop hating each other, or—at the very least—to stop shooting each other. His words were a balm to a grieving nation, desperate for an off-ramp from political contempt and violence.

But a single speech cannot transform a country. It takes all of us working together. It takes a blueprint for healing, depolarization, and peacemaking.

In this practical and patriotic guide to peacemaking. Gov. Cox uses wisdom from years of depolarization research to encourage Americans to disagree better and rekindle the affection we used to have even for our political rivals.  As America approaches the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, it’s time to remember what makes America strong. . . and declare independence from the behaviors and rhetoric that threaten to destroy us.

Spencer Cox is a husband, father, farmer, former business leader, recovering attorney, and Utah’s 18th governor. His career in public service—from city council member and mayor to county commissioner, state legislator, lieutenant governor, and now governor—has been shaped by a dedication to depolarization and a commitment to peacemaking. As chair of the National Governors Association from 2023 to 2024, he launched the bipartisan “Disagree Better” initiative, a national effort to model healthier civic engagement.

Off Ramp is that blueprint.

Genres: Politics

302 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 8, 2026

About the author

Spencer Cox is a husband, father, farmer, business leader, recovering attorney, and Utah’s 18th governor. His career in public service — from city council member and mayor to county commissioner, state legislator, lieutenant governor, and now governor — has been shaped by a dedication to depolarization and a commitment to peacemaking. As chair of the National Governors Association from 2023 to 2024, he launched the bipartisan “Disagree Better” initiative, a national effort to model healthier civic engagement.

Reviews

[Helena Babington · Rating 5 out of 5]

If the people who trashed the author in their reviews here really read this book, they obviously didn’t learn a thing from it. We all need to learn how to disagree respectfully. Before it’s too late.

Even if I don’t agree with the author’s politics, I completely agree with his book and respect his demonstration of its principles in real life. Thank you sir.

[Serge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the care with which this book was composed. Governor Cox has undertaken the difficult task of tempering our national appetite for outrage and our sinful contempt for each other. He roots his countercultural proposal in the insights from Lincoln's Lyceum address about national suicide. He contextualizes his work on depolarization by sharing tenets of his faith and lessons from his deep dive into political science. He preached this Gospel of forgiveness, unmerited grace, and unconditional love of neighbor in the wake of the political assassination of Charlie Kirk last year and reiterates in this book that "political violence doesn't stop the speech of victims, it creates a vulture of intimidation." He recounts the multiple missteps and acts of rhetorical terror that have brought us to this nadir. He connects polarization to an epidemic of loneliness. He argues for an America that returns to the communalism that de Tocqueville observed in the 1830s during his sojourn in America. To get there, we will need to stop scrolling alone (a play on Putnam's Bowling Alone). We want to avoid the parochialism that makes us in-group partisans, but we have to rediscover relationship and community. Social media through its pernicious algorithms exacerbates identity politics ('a weapon we use against our fellow Americans'). I commend the Governor for ending the book with practical next steps for his readers. We may be strangers to each other if we only consider our political affinities. We don't have to treat strangers as enemies, as the Governor so wisely states

[Kody Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like Spencer Cox and the work he is doing to help people disagree better. We live in a very divided world where people on the left and right often seem to hate each other. This book’s message is simple but very important: we can disagree without treating each other badly.

Cox has shown real courage in speaking out against the anger and contempt in our politics. He is not asking people to give up their beliefs. He is asking us to remember that people on the other side are still good people who deserve respect.

The book can feel a little overly sincere at times, but that also makes its hopeful message feel genuine. This is a powerful and necessary book for the moment we are living in.

[Jake Richards · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very disjointed and self-serving book by a poor public servant who seems to honor the will of his benefactors far more than the will of the constituents he claims to serve. But thanks for the free book, governor!

[Lael Prince · Rating 1 out of 5]

Someone explain to me how a sitting governor has time to write a book? Doesn’t sound like he’s serving the people….

[Marc Mendoza · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not good. This book is not worth the money.

[Lottie C · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

I don’t agree with this guy’s politics—I’m not even American—but, on balance, this was a thoughtful political memoir