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When You Bleed to Death
In the wake of his girlfriend's suicide, Brody - a bright but naive high school senior - descends into a world of drugs, sex, and self harm. Equally visceral, disturbing, and heart-breaking, When You Bleed to Death is an honest, unflinching look at the life of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.
247 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 21, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
October 13, 2015
Holy crap. Such a blatantly honest book, it had me in tears.
January 7, 2015
This book broke my heart when I first read it. I love books that can make me cry, and this one did just that. It's very rare for an author to create a character the reader can so easily hate and sympathize with at the same time; Bronaugh is very skilled at his craft.
It was beautifully written and (in my opinion) accurately portrays grief and the main character's personality disorder. Highly recommended.
It was beautifully written and (in my opinion) accurately portrays grief and the main character's personality disorder. Highly recommended.
March 9, 2015
I'm not even sure how to describe this book.
Having gone through my own difficult time in life, I really related to what Brody was going through. Sometimes you don't feel as though you're in control of your own words or actions when you're grieving.
I am in awe of this book. It's beautiful in its own vivid and gruesome way. I highly recommend this book for everyone. Is it difficult to read? Yes. But that's because it's so real and exposes what so many people have gone through. Brilliant work. I cannot praise it enough.
Having gone through my own difficult time in life, I really related to what Brody was going through. Sometimes you don't feel as though you're in control of your own words or actions when you're grieving.
I am in awe of this book. It's beautiful in its own vivid and gruesome way. I highly recommend this book for everyone. Is it difficult to read? Yes. But that's because it's so real and exposes what so many people have gone through. Brilliant work. I cannot praise it enough.
February 25, 2019
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
There is a shortage of blatantly honest books on the market, especially for teens. There are a few reasons for this: there aren’t enough authors brave enough to write them, agents and publishing houses aren’t willing to take the risk to publish them, and readers don’t want the truth. Most readers are looking for an escape from the reality, somewhere they can run and hide and find a bit of relief. I’ll admit to being one of those readers a majority of the time. While I appreciate the honesty and bravery that it takes to write books with content such as this, I don’t find them appealing.
When You Bleed To Death is a dark, disturbing glimpse into the life of someone who has given up and given in. The content is graphic and disturbing but all the while, eye opening. The pace of the book is quick and reads more like a screenplay than a novel. With little excess description and only a few characters to keep track of it’s a simple read but the subject manner makes it hard to turn the page. This book deals in great detail with numerous triggering subjects and therefore will drastically limit the audience it is suitable for. The main character, Brody, is similar to Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower in that he has completely lost himself in a traumatic event and tries a bit of everything to find himself again. The big difference between the two characters is that instead of crying about everything like Charlie, Brody tries every manner of self-mutilation and illegal drug to suppress his psychological pain and trauma.
When You Bleed to Death comes off as a blend of Gillian Flynn and Stephen Chbosky with a dash of Breaking Bad thrown in for extra grit. Would I recommend it? Only for readers interested in psychology/mental illness and who find the depravity of a man at the end of his rope fascinating.
Pros: Honest, unique, fast paced
Cons: Triggers, unlikable main character
Triggers: suicide, depression, mental illness, drug use, self harm, abuse, eating disorders
Rating: 3/5
This review and many others can be found on my blog, Becki's Bookshelf.
There is a shortage of blatantly honest books on the market, especially for teens. There are a few reasons for this: there aren’t enough authors brave enough to write them, agents and publishing houses aren’t willing to take the risk to publish them, and readers don’t want the truth. Most readers are looking for an escape from the reality, somewhere they can run and hide and find a bit of relief. I’ll admit to being one of those readers a majority of the time. While I appreciate the honesty and bravery that it takes to write books with content such as this, I don’t find them appealing.
When You Bleed To Death is a dark, disturbing glimpse into the life of someone who has given up and given in. The content is graphic and disturbing but all the while, eye opening. The pace of the book is quick and reads more like a screenplay than a novel. With little excess description and only a few characters to keep track of it’s a simple read but the subject manner makes it hard to turn the page. This book deals in great detail with numerous triggering subjects and therefore will drastically limit the audience it is suitable for. The main character, Brody, is similar to Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower in that he has completely lost himself in a traumatic event and tries a bit of everything to find himself again. The big difference between the two characters is that instead of crying about everything like Charlie, Brody tries every manner of self-mutilation and illegal drug to suppress his psychological pain and trauma.
When You Bleed to Death comes off as a blend of Gillian Flynn and Stephen Chbosky with a dash of Breaking Bad thrown in for extra grit. Would I recommend it? Only for readers interested in psychology/mental illness and who find the depravity of a man at the end of his rope fascinating.
Pros: Honest, unique, fast paced
Cons: Triggers, unlikable main character
Triggers: suicide, depression, mental illness, drug use, self harm, abuse, eating disorders
Rating: 3/5
This review and many others can be found on my blog, Becki's Bookshelf.
January 7, 2015
I think the perfect and extremely suiting description for how I felt reading this book was addicted. I could not put it down, the book doesn't want you to put it down. Between the soft matte cover, the pages of Brody's story intrigued my mind, pulled on my heart, and left my eyes wanting more. Fantastically written, I commend Jeremy Bronaugh for making me laugh between moments of pure human heartache and chaos.
January 21, 2019
Being someone with BPD I really found this accurate, I felt deeply connected with the character.
It also triggered A LOT my self-harm... So, if you're struggling with that, probably not the best idea to read it.
Anyway, I LOVED IT.
It also triggered A LOT my self-harm... So, if you're struggling with that, probably not the best idea to read it.
Anyway, I LOVED IT.
April 12, 2018
Amazing
This was an interesting point of view. A must read for bpd patients everywhere. Trigger warning and tear jerker amazing
This was an interesting point of view. A must read for bpd patients everywhere. Trigger warning and tear jerker amazing
April 7, 2016
This book is not for the faint-hearted, but it was an excellent read. I was mesmerized, and pulled into the book. It was really hard to put down, giving me that "just one more chapter" feeling all the time. It was brutal at times (and earns its trigger-warning on the cover), but more than being brutal, it is honest with a troubled teenager's efforts to cope (or not cope) with tragedy. The book does not flinch from its subject of self-harm, drug use, or suicide, but neither does it glorify in it, or make it gratuitous (though it does occasionally come up to that line). It is worth powering through those sections, even if they make you a little queasy, because you will come through having read a very wonderful and powerful book.
May 14, 2016
I've been waiting to read this book for a few months and finally found the time to do so. When I finally got it I couldn't put the book down that being said it took me a few hours to finish it. I was so captivated by Brody's story and how he chose to deal with situations he was put in. This book is very vivid with a few topics that I had to put the book down for a few minutes to regain composure but I think that's what I liked about the book the best, is that it made me really feel and react to it. This is definitely one of the few books I would enjoy rereading over and over.
February 7, 2017
A gorgeous book. Dark (yes), hard at times (yes), but unflinchingly honest and raw. It is gruesome, as some have pointed out, but it's a necessary type of gruesome, real life, and we need that to draw us in. The talent on these pages is so evident—this might be one of the finest books about grief and mental health and longing I've read in years. It book reads quickly, and, yes, hard as it is in parts, it really is tough to put it down—the writing is that good.
July 7, 2017
This was hard to read. It's very raw, very graphic. It's hard watching a character completely self-destruct, but gives a good impression about what that would be like living with in real life.
May 23, 2020
Dark, intense, and compelling. So compelling, in fact, I read this in one sitting.
Descending into someone else’s darkness was…
I can’t exactly find the adjective. Interesting? Fascinating? Eye-opening? Chilling?
But I continue to believe that stories are the best way to understand other people. And the best way, sometimes, to grow empathy.
Descending into someone else’s darkness was…
I can’t exactly find the adjective. Interesting? Fascinating? Eye-opening? Chilling?
But I continue to believe that stories are the best way to understand other people. And the best way, sometimes, to grow empathy.
March 26, 2016
Super tough to review this book. Yes, it includes elements of BPD, some of which I relate to heavily, but it fails to deliver any insight into the workings of Brody's mind. More specifically, I felt irritated by the way in which Brody describes the way he sees things (he does not see anything as black and white, just grey); this is honestly a complete opposite of how people with BPD tend to view the world.
The author has a superb way with words, and is able to conjure up strong emotions in the reader, but overall I felt that the novel had no real story; no beginning, middle and end - instead, just a sequence of rather repetitive situations, all spiralling more and more out of control. Brody is obviously a 'loud' borderline, which accounts for his temper, rage and frequent outbursts of anger. This is, of course, fine, but I would like to see a 'quiet' borderline sometime in a novel; perhaps though, the quieter ones are harder to write.
Overall, I give the book a 3.5 because I felt that Brody had a strong voice, and a lot of potential, pacing was also extremely good, especially towards the end where we watch Brody lose control. That said, the lack of plot really got to me, and I was particularly disappointed that he never found the help he deserved - though I also feel that this is reflective of true life in the case of many people whom are silently suffering from BPD.
The author has a superb way with words, and is able to conjure up strong emotions in the reader, but overall I felt that the novel had no real story; no beginning, middle and end - instead, just a sequence of rather repetitive situations, all spiralling more and more out of control. Brody is obviously a 'loud' borderline, which accounts for his temper, rage and frequent outbursts of anger. This is, of course, fine, but I would like to see a 'quiet' borderline sometime in a novel; perhaps though, the quieter ones are harder to write.
Overall, I give the book a 3.5 because I felt that Brody had a strong voice, and a lot of potential, pacing was also extremely good, especially towards the end where we watch Brody lose control. That said, the lack of plot really got to me, and I was particularly disappointed that he never found the help he deserved - though I also feel that this is reflective of true life in the case of many people whom are silently suffering from BPD.
May 13, 2017
I've had this book since it came out, but I've been afraid to read it. I know the author and I heard what it's about, and I was afraid I would basically spend the entirety of the book feeling like I was Brody and sobbing. But having read the comic book version, my intolerance for open loops got the best of me. I picked it up on a night when I had already used all of my self-discipline, thinking, "I'll just read a little bit to see what it's like," and ended up finishing the whole thing.
This is an intense book. It's saturated in pain and grief. I was afraid I would drown in it. But there's one crucial difference between me and Brody: I'm afraid of pain. Looking back on my darkest days, I think that fact may have saved my life. During the times when death seemed enticing to me, the fear of pain was a big deterrent to trying anything. If I were wired to embrace pain like Brody, I very much doubt I would have had the discipline to stop short of destroying myself.
This is an intense book. It's saturated in pain and grief. I was afraid I would drown in it. But there's one crucial difference between me and Brody: I'm afraid of pain. Looking back on my darkest days, I think that fact may have saved my life. During the times when death seemed enticing to me, the fear of pain was a big deterrent to trying anything. If I were wired to embrace pain like Brody, I very much doubt I would have had the discipline to stop short of destroying myself.
April 1, 2015
Brody is depressed and self destructive. Struggling to cope with his girlfriend's suicide, Brody turns to drugs and self harming for relief. His friendships are short lived and unhealthy, and he doesn't seem to be able to keep up with school. It seems like his life just can't get better. Perhaps it's because Brody runs away, pushes people away and hurts himself especially when he feels like he's being wronged. His relationship with Tiffany is very troubled. He stalks her when they break up and against his better judgement seems to dig himself a deeper hole each time they try to reconcile. Just when you think things could get better for Brody, it seems to go in the opposite direction. The way the book ends leaves me wondering about him and what route he decided to take. It seems like a sad ending that you may be able to figure out. Although, I do wonder if it's actually what I think may be the end of Brody's story.
February 6, 2015
This is the second time that I've read this book, and even now I don't know the best way to articulate my feelings about it. But, while not being very eloquent, I'll give it a go. This book was dark, compelling, really real but equally felt distorted, strange, unfamiliar. Every word pulled me along, making me want to discover--rediscover--Brody's tale. What I found compelling* was the fact that Bronaugh was completely unflinching with ... well, everything; he really has a skill for portraying pain and an experience that is far from "normal".
What was also interesting was Brody's complete detachment from everything else. In a lot of the cases, there was a lack of feeling, or he was simply at the fringes of events and experiences.
Really good book
*I feel like compelling is the wrong word to use but is the only that is the closest that fits to what I want to say.
What was also interesting was Brody's complete detachment from everything else. In a lot of the cases, there was a lack of feeling, or he was simply at the fringes of events and experiences.
Really good book
*I feel like compelling is the wrong word to use but is the only that is the closest that fits to what I want to say.
February 12, 2016
I did not want to put this book down at all. It was phenomenal and raw and real. I didn't want it to end. I want to know what happened to Brody! (Received in a giveaway and so glad I did!!)
May 17, 2021
Very few fiction books I've read that deal with BPD. Even less that deal with explosive BPD.
This book isn't pretty in the slightest. Frankly, it doesn't even really have a clean ending. If you're looking for closure, for help, this isn't it. Don't even bother picking it up.
Is there some lavish creativity taken for the story? Yes, I believe so. However, overall, it is a very real and honest take on someone spiraling with all the hard edges added in.
It is not kidding when it has a trigger warning on the front, and you should be honest with yourself before starting it on if it's something you could handle.
It was uncomfortable, there's really no good person in the entire book. No saving grace, no help, just reality. And that is the reality for many: of people who don't see when someone desperately needs help, or see but don't know what to do or want to ignore it, and create situations that make things even worse.
Mental illness is no joke.
This book isn't pretty in the slightest. Frankly, it doesn't even really have a clean ending. If you're looking for closure, for help, this isn't it. Don't even bother picking it up.
Is there some lavish creativity taken for the story? Yes, I believe so. However, overall, it is a very real and honest take on someone spiraling with all the hard edges added in.
It is not kidding when it has a trigger warning on the front, and you should be honest with yourself before starting it on if it's something you could handle.
It was uncomfortable, there's really no good person in the entire book. No saving grace, no help, just reality. And that is the reality for many: of people who don't see when someone desperately needs help, or see but don't know what to do or want to ignore it, and create situations that make things even worse.
Mental illness is no joke.
December 21, 2024
I found the book distinctly honest, though not for the squeamish. In a compelling account, it reveals the good, the bad, and the ugly for the reader to behold. By the end, I was not left gleefully fulfilled, yet I was full of appreciation for how unapologetically raw it was.
April 23, 2015
Having not read a book with this type of writing style, it was rather difficult to get into at the beginning. The reason for my four starts and not five are because there are a few things a felt didn't quit make it to be worthy of five.
At the beginning I felt it dragged on a little to slowly, plus it wasn't until half way into the book that I started feeling a connection with the main character, Brody.
Putting aside the few miner point that I felt the book lacked, it definitely made up for in other places.
As I said before, I hadn't read a book of this style before and it was rather a refreshing change to what I normally read. Though I can only say that too a certain extent in a positive way due to the deep, dark and depressing undertones of the emotions that are captured in this book. The title really does sum up just how deep this book gets.
I rather enjoyed how the author didn't stray away from writing in depth descriptions of the self destructive nature of Brody, it gave me a feel of authenticity to how some people self destruct.
An over all must read if you aren't to shy and week hearted for a strong and in depth emotional compelling story. Especially one that covers the journey of a self destructive character that involves himself in drug abuse and self mutilation to numb his surrounding and feeling.
Definitely worth four stars
At the beginning I felt it dragged on a little to slowly, plus it wasn't until half way into the book that I started feeling a connection with the main character, Brody.
Putting aside the few miner point that I felt the book lacked, it definitely made up for in other places.
As I said before, I hadn't read a book of this style before and it was rather a refreshing change to what I normally read. Though I can only say that too a certain extent in a positive way due to the deep, dark and depressing undertones of the emotions that are captured in this book. The title really does sum up just how deep this book gets.
I rather enjoyed how the author didn't stray away from writing in depth descriptions of the self destructive nature of Brody, it gave me a feel of authenticity to how some people self destruct.
An over all must read if you aren't to shy and week hearted for a strong and in depth emotional compelling story. Especially one that covers the journey of a self destructive character that involves himself in drug abuse and self mutilation to numb his surrounding and feeling.
Definitely worth four stars
May 25, 2015
I was a bit disappointed with this book. His girlfriend supposedly killed herself, but she is only mentioned in the book a few times, and we are not given much background on them. The story focuses instead on his inability to cope with anything and his self-destructive behaviors, and we were not really given any hope or redemption. I was hoping that this was going to be an honest look at borderline personality disorder; while some of the elements of BPD were definitely there (substance abuse, self-harm, disordered eating, anger, etc), at one point Brody says that he does not see anything as black and white, just grey, which is the opposite of how borderlines view the world. I understand the bleakness, but I feel the book was lacking in character development.
Currently reading
February 27, 2015wonderful book that full of life's realizations and embracing the character's personality.. a very heart captivating story..
did-not-finish
November 14, 2015This book has some extremely graphic descriptions of self harm and it was too much for me, so I couldn't finish it.
August 30, 2020
This is a beautifully written exploration of grief during the already turbulent time of young adulthood.
November 2, 2020
Very hard hitting
Very hard hitting book. See through the eyes of someone who is desperate to feel anything after losing so much.
Very hard hitting book. See through the eyes of someone who is desperate to feel anything after losing so much.
February 27, 2024
It's heartbreaking, but beautiful in its humanity.
July 2, 2024
My only dislike is the ending. It felt like there was no end. Like the story could’ve gone on 3 more chapters. Still, it was such a vividly real book that caught me off guard. Amazing writing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 6, 2017
Note: The author, Jeremy Bronaugh, has placed a trigger warning on his book, “When You Bleed to Death: A Novel”, as it contains graphic depictions of self-mutilation.
On page one, Brody’s cataclysmic life begins after the suicide of his girlfriend. Although Brody has self-harmed in the past and has Borderline Personality Disorder, he now begins his downward spiral by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.
As the story progresses, Brody’s school grades begin to slip, due to his tortuous mental state, resulting in him dropping out of school. He leaves home only to discover that his friends have either abandoned him to use him.
As the chapters play out, Brody’s drug use intensifies with harder and harder drugs. He exhibits extreme fits of rage, recklessness, and exacerbated self-mutilation.
How Brody manages to escape death time after time boggles my mind.
Although this is a novel, the author, Jeremy Bronaugh’s work is heavily influenced by personal experiences.
On page one, Brody’s cataclysmic life begins after the suicide of his girlfriend. Although Brody has self-harmed in the past and has Borderline Personality Disorder, he now begins his downward spiral by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.
As the story progresses, Brody’s school grades begin to slip, due to his tortuous mental state, resulting in him dropping out of school. He leaves home only to discover that his friends have either abandoned him to use him.
As the chapters play out, Brody’s drug use intensifies with harder and harder drugs. He exhibits extreme fits of rage, recklessness, and exacerbated self-mutilation.
How Brody manages to escape death time after time boggles my mind.
Although this is a novel, the author, Jeremy Bronaugh’s work is heavily influenced by personal experiences.
February 5, 2021
I really wanted to love this book because it’s a subject close to my heart and it had the potential to be good, but it just wasn’t. I found the main character a little annoying and I found some of it repetitive. The storyline didn’t really go anywhere and was just the same scenario over and over again. It’s definitely not a good depiction of borderline personality disorder.
TRIGGERS: suicide, self harm/blood, death, violence, drug use, trauma, car accident, sex
TRIGGERS: suicide, self harm/blood, death, violence, drug use, trauma, car accident, sex
July 31, 2024
I personally enjoy reading books surrounding mental health because it helps me realize that Im not the only one who goes through all of this and I can relate to the mc. The book didn’t take long to read and is very detailed but thats what makes it to a down to earth level to me. The writing was really good and it showed what someone who is spiraling down and how that truly can look🫶
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews