Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance

by Zane E. Stori

Emma was happy with her life. Sure it wasn't normal, but she wasn't built for normal. As a train-sexual, yes those kind of trains, her hometown island was paradise. Full of railways and trains that the locals didn't pay much attention to, she was usually free to not so discretely indulge in her urges while riding the rails.

Except now that her ex-boyfriend’s car company is threatened to rip up the tracks and destroy the trains, Emma’s at risk of losing far more than just reliable transportation.

If she wants to save the trains, she'll have to open her heart a little and ask for help. Lucky for her, she caught the attention of a trio even more determined to save the rails than she is…the trains.

Railed is a spicy why-cho-cho-choose romance between a woman and her three train shifters (f,m,x) full of train puns and trains arriving...loudly.

Genres: Audiobook, Romance, Why Choose, LGBT, Novella, Erotica, Fantasy

120 pages, Paperback

Published April 2, 2026

About the author

Zane E Stori (she/her) is a chaos bisexual who lives for a good pun. Zane has never met a bit she wouldn't commit to. Her entire goal as an author is to make you tilt your head in confusion and ask yourself and others why these books exist. Packed full of puns and queer joy, Zane hopes her stories bring a little bit of humor and queer joy back into the world.

Reviews

[Grace Btrs (semi ia-work) · Rating 3 out of 5]

🚂 I Came for the Sound Effects
(Was the pun intended? you'll never know)
So I got on board by the promise of sound effects, and the audio seriously made this entire experience like 10x more fun. 😂
I almost want to wish this was a longer trip, but I also know it was long enough for what we had.
Got to giggle about this with my only Isabelle
3.5⭐

✨ A Little Bit of Everything
This delivered on plot, characters, and smut all in a short novella.
Resolutions made sense and were actually quite well paced.
I do wish maybe we had one more spicy scene, but I can survive.
The characters are all so unique, although you don’t really get in deep.
Don’t get the wrong idea though hahaha. 👀
I wish we got some Jamie POV, but I guess it tracks for his personality.

🔊 GIVE ME MORE SOUND EFFECTS 🚂
I do wish the audio had more sound effects. They were literally carrying me and giving me such a high, and I was giggling and kicking my feet at every single one.
Honestly, every sound effect was basically a tiny serotonin delivery. 😂🎧
The narrators did a great job portraying the different characters and really keeping this light and engaging and not cringey at all.
I also wanted to know more about the mechanics going on and in.

🚆 Commitment to the Bit
I also appreciate the author’s commitment to the bit with all the contextual words that are related to the train culture themselves.
I love when a book commits to its gimmick.

💌 Thank you NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for the ALC.
It was a delight. 📖


--
Pre-read:
🎧I was secretly begging for this to have sound effects and IT DOES!!! 🚂🚅🛤️
Now I am equally living and dying for this!

[Isabelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The train is coming… in more ways than one 🤭🚂

You all can thank Youssra for that opener 🤣 But this was actually SO FUN! There were obviously a ton of train puns, and the commitment to the bit was admirable. For being such a short listen, the plot flowed really well, and there was not nearly as much train sex as I was expecting from the blurb 😂 Everything (and everyone) came together perfectly 🤪 The narration was excellent as well! I was crying with laughter from the sound effects in the audio, and it really just made the whole experience better. I honestly wish there were even more. My one wish was for the moans to be train whistles though, and I am thrilled to say I was not disappointed 🚂 Truly an unforgettable ride 😂🤭


Thank you NetGalley, the author, and Victory Editing for the advance copy! 🚂

••••••
Buddy listen with my Grace! ALL ABOARD 🚂🤪

[Megan [Jaded AF] · Rating 3 out of 5]

MFFX Poly
Trains
3 Stars ⭐️

🎧Narrated by Richard Pendragon & Cassandra Medcalf -Never listened to these narrators before and they were ok. Can’t say they were great but the train sound effects were amazing.


How do I even review this 🤣🤣 So this is an audiobook for the novella Railed and I urge anyone who wants to read this to get the audiobook because of the sound effects! It releases Sept 22nd. Had I read this with my eyes, my rating would be abysmal but the sound effects made me cackle which made me rate it higher. This also makes the cringe factor higher but I had a good time due to the endless train puns and sound effects.

Emma moved home and she’s there to save her beloved trains because Big Carma (yes like big pharma lol) wants to remove them and take over the island. She has a dirty little secret in that she loves the trains, like LOVES them. She daydreams about trains which felt very Sheldon Cooper until she started physically getting off while riding them home from work. 😂 Sheldon would never 🤣🤣

Gage, Rosie and Jamie are the trains. Gage is obsessed with Emma getting off on him every time she rides him home. It’s a bit creepy he’s watching her without her consent if I really think about it but it’s fucking trains. Literally & figuratively. 😂

The 3 trains are in a poly relationship and want to bring Emma in too so Conductor Rosie gets in there first while Emma is riding Gage home. This book is unapologetically queer and I was here for it. It’s also super unhinged. It took me awhile to understand if this was train shifters or something else but I’ll let you discover what’s going on so you’ll be as surprised as Emma. It made me cackle and my life since the end of 2024 has been tragic misery so anything that makes me genuinely laugh, hard at that, even though the cringe was real, is very welcome over here.

There is a scene on Jamie later that had me screaming due to the sound effects *CHOO CHOO* and everything else that happened. Emma realizing she might be train-sexual while Gage is telling her: “That’s a good rail slut” made me cackle, cringe and ask myself why the fuck this exists which ironically is exactly what it says in the author’s note. She wants people to ask why this book exists so there you go author!

This author also states that this is an alias for her other name and that 6 letters in Zane E Stori are in her other penname. Does anyone know? Also didn’t realize until it was said out loud what her penname actually said. And yes, it’s a fucking zany story. WTAF.

I received an ALC from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Marcie McPherson · Rating 4 out of 5]

🚂 𝗨𝗻𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲. 𝗠𝗮𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆.

I was very confused at first. Then I realised this book was never going to make conventional sense—and once I embraced that, I had an absolute blast. It's funny, wildly original, unapologetically queer and very steamy. The whole experience put a smile on my face.

This is definitely erotica rather than a sweet romance, and it's not going to be for everyone. But if you're looking for something completely bonkers that refuses to choo-choo-choose just one genre, climb aboard. 🚂😂

Thank you to Zane E. Stori, Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Juniper L.H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

What.

This was one of the dumbest things I have read in a while, which was as expected. The author is self-aware, don’t worry. What I didn’t expect was how incredibly hilarious it was, and entertaining.

The plot, and basically everything else, was awful. Relationship development? What’s that? Everything was rushed and/or phoned-in and honestly you can barely call this a novella.

However… so entertaining! The PUNS! So many train puns packed into every single page. The wild plotline just made me laugh through the entire read. There were a lot of “spicy scenes”, however they were far too hilarious to be considered sexy. I love the pro-public transit agenda of this novella as well. Honestly it was a great time as long as you don’t try to take it seriously.

Thank you (very much) to NetGalley for providing a free ARC. This honest review was left voluntarily.

[Dani · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I'm going to bury my train so far in your tunnel," I growled. "All aboard,"

🚂🚂🚂

Do I know why I read this? No.

Am I upset I read this? Also no.

This was exactly what I thought it would be and I cracked up. There is plot though. And it low key reminded me of Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock where she wants to save a historic landmark. Except this was about trains…and the trains also happen to be conductors/people.

And she has an unhealthy obsession with trains. And riding them 😈

No further questions or statements 😅

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALC REVIEW - 4.5 stars (rounded up)

Thank you to NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for the opportunity to listen to an Advanced Listener's Copy (ALC). All thoughts are my own.

This audiobook is narrated by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon...and holy moly is it hilarious!!! There are train sound effects sprinkled throughout that sped up as people arrived and "choo-choos" that celebrated excitement. I was laughing sooo much! So, if you're looking for a short listen (or read), this one is only 2 hours, 15 min (~113 pages) and will definitely make you laugh.

Perfect for fans of:
🚄sentient object romance
🚄polyam/why choose
🚄LGBTQ rep
🚄train puns

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got the audiobook for review on netgally.
A very quick moving why cho-cho-choose romance (gha I love saying that!) Filled with so many train puns that was both funny and oddly an hot read. Its not a a serious kind of romance and dont really make sense at all but was super fun and gave me the giggles. Its always interesting to read unhinged, weird and silly romances to see if I can still find them hot and with this, yes. Cho cho!

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Story 5⭐️
Spice 4🌶️
Audiobook 5 ⭐️

You had me at sentient, shifter and all the choo-choo-choosing. When I saw this book on NetGalley, I pressed so fast request I don’t think I even had time to breathe. Is absolutely ridiculously good. To the point of where can I find one, sorry 3 of them, yeah i think I'm no longer pansexual, I converted into trainsexual ??

This is an MMFF and is absolutely delicious, train shifters x human.
The train puns has my laughing so hard and kicking my feet.
Is entertaining.
Hilarious.
With spice of the charts.

The audiobook, I have to give it to them Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon they did such an amazing job narrating this. I wanna hear all the bloopers coz I already know it's impossible to keep a straight face the entire book.

Choo-choo-choose this book as your next listen!

[Crimson Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for providing me with an Audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5/5 Stars)

⚠️ Warning: This is more erotica than romance. ⚠️

If you're looking for an off-the-tracks, full-steam-ahead, bonkers of a joystick read, then look no further, because this story cho-cho-chooses you! 😉 😂

I haven't laughed this much at a short audiobook in a while.Railed is a short novella that mixes romance, humour, and satire, and honestly, I had a great time listening to it.

The title alone gives you an idea of the sort of humour you're getting into. 😂

There were so many moments where I found myself laughing because of how ridiculous some of the situations were. Also, the added sound effects just made me laugh louder and harder! 🤣

I think what worked for me was that it didn't take itself too seriously. It knew exactly what it was and went full steam ahead, racing down the tracks hard and fast. 🤣😂

Sometimes you just want something funny that you can sit down and enjoy without having to think too much, and this did exactly that. The story is short, so it doesn't hang around for too long or drag things out.

I actually think the length worked in its favour because the jokes and situations kept moving.

I listened to the audiobook narrated by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon, and I thought they worked well together. Their voices suited the tone of the story and helped make some of the funny moments even better.Their voices fit what the audiobook was trying to achieve; I can imagine the narrators must have had a blast making this.

This won't be for everyone, especially if satire, silly humour, and going full steam ahead on morphic trains aren't your thing, but I personally had a lot of fun with it.

For me, the biggest reason this gets 5 stars is simple:It made me laugh. A lot.

Sometimes that's exactly what I want from a short story.

So, all aboard and take a ride—the paradise station is waiting to punch a hole in your ticket! 🎟 😂🤣👌

[That Lady Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
🌶️🌶️🌶️

This was lovely and wholesome. Best suited for an in between read for when you want quick, easy, sexy and funny.

For me this was just missing some more of that delicious why choose, potentially was there with there being another female in the mix.

I enjoyed all train puns, added to overall comfort this brought me 🩷

Definitely worth a listen, full audio at 1 speed is 2hrs 15mins. Easy peasy 😁

Thank you to NetGalley for providing this ALC 📚

[AshleyReadsSmut · Rating 5 out of 5]

What in the Transformers did I just read?! 😂

Update: I was blessed with a ALC of the audiobook and let me tell you - IT'S TOTALLY WORTH A LISTEN!
Let this be my petition that all sentient object audiobooks have sound effects!!!

𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗟𝗟: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
𝗧𝗬𝗣𝗘: Novella
𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦: n/a
𝗔𝗨𝗗𝗜𝗢𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞: Duet narration

𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: MXFF
𝗛𝗘𝗔/𝗛𝗙𝗡: 💖
𝗟𝗚𝗕𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗣: 🏳️‍🌈
𝗪𝗛𝗬-𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗦𝗘: ✅ + 🏳️‍🌈

𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦:
- train enthusiast x train shifters
- why choose/polyam
- so. many. train. puns.
- sentient object(ish)
- hysterical 😂

𝗔𝗟𝗖 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄: 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝙻𝙲! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚠𝚗.

[iam · Rating 3 out of 5]

For the most part, this was a lot of fun: a romance between a throuple or train shifters (m/f/enby) who begins a relationship with a self-proclaimed "trainsexual" human woman, who is fighting to keep the railway system on her cozy island from being destroyed by a car company/"big carma". It doesn't take itself very seriously, and there are SO many train puns.

My biggest issue was with the first direct interaction between Emma, the human, and the trains. For one, the way Gabe almost stalks her is sort of creepy, though of course he can't help but notice her as she is mastubating on/in him (as she is taking the train, naturally). That said, she is also masturbating in a public place, so I guess she is aware of possibly being watched? While I was willing to just roll with the flow of that dynamic, I really hated how Emma's other first meeting with another train shifter was bascially assault and non-consensual. And it's never acknowledged again?? It felt especially odd when later there is a lot of care taken to establish consent.

What really surprised me was the quality of the audiobook production. Dual narrators and fun sound effects!?! It was really well done, and added a lot fot he atmosphere of the book.

The plot around saving the railway and thus the trains was also fun, though I wish there had been more care taken to establish the worldbuiding surrounding the train shifters. We never really get into the "hows" or "whys" or "from wheres".

The kinky (D/s) dynamic between the throuple and then also with Emma was fine, but honestly, with the train puns and train sex I felt like it didn't really need the additional kink. Also want to point out that I needed a lot of suspension of disbelief for the sex scenes, mainly due to general lack of care towards sexual health in normal terms (no condoms, switching from anal to vaginal sex) and in train-sex specific terms (hot steam as cum?? how tf wouldn't that be a very horrifying visit to the ER??) and speed of orgasms (like damn, that can't have taken longer than 30s for everyone).

I received an ARC and reviewed honestly and voluntarily.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

My goodness. When I saw this pop up on NetGalley, I was like “…say what now?” My son is obsessed with trains and I’m far more attuned to train sounds than I ever have been before, so I figured I had to read this.

It is as off the rails (pun intended) as you’d expect. What I didn’t anticipate was how hilarious, queer, inclusive, and great at consent it would be! There are three train characters who are poly, one of whom is nonbinary. It’s told in an alternate POV between the trains and our human protagonist. There are SO MANY TRAIN PUNS. I laughed out loud multiple times and was reading passages to my husband and sending them to friends.

There’s also a lot more plot than I expected? The protagonist is running a save the railways project because her bitter ex boyfriend, a car company nepo baby, is trying to tear up all the train tracks to bring more cars to the island in a quest for revenge. It’s of course super easy barely an inconvenience solved away at the end, but hey, this is a train-sexual erotic novella, what did you expect? 🤪

Every time a train got off and went WOOOO WOOOO I died. This book was too funny.

Rating solely based on enjoyment, not on its quality as ~literature~

Thanks to the author and NetGalley for the ARC!

[Danielle Carley · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨ARC review✨

Have you ever wanted to fuck a train? Have you ever wanted to fuck a train that's in a queer polycule with other trains? Then this is the perfect book for you 😂

It says in the 'about the author' section that their main goal is to confuse readers and make them question why these books exist and boy did she deliver because what the fuck did I read???

I truly don't know how to rate this, was it a masterpiece? No! Was it moving? No! but it sure was a fun little gay time and for that it got 3 stars, the extra star was for the author well and truly committing to the bit with the amount of train puns

A great palate cleanser book imo

[Eram Hussain · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emma has always had an unusual relationship with trains. Living on an island where railways are an important part of life, she is deeply and sexually fascinated by them. Her peaceful little world is threatened when her ex-boyfriend's car company plans to replace the railway with roads, potentially destroying the trains and the tracks Emma loves.
Determined to save the railway, Emma finds herself drawn into an even stranger situation when she discovers that three of the trains aren't quite what they seem. They are train shifters, capable of taking human form, and they have noticed Emma too.
What follows is a fast, spicy and completely crazy romance.

[Tyla 🧚 🗡️ ☠️ 🩸 🖤 · Rating 3 out of 5]

ALC.
I don’t even know where to start with this. This is the hardest book I’ve ever had to rate. It was ridiculous, but it was meant to be. But it was so clever & funny, but stupid at the same time 😂😂😂😂
It was mental, f*ked up, but hilarious. What’s not to love in a why choose romance with trains?’
The fact it’s called railed? Brilliant.
And the fact it’s labelled as a why choo- choo- choose romance? Phenomenal. Zane E. Stori, take a bow for that alone 😂😂😂😂😂
Would I recommend it? Yes. For the right reasons? Maybe not. But this book will never leave my mind that’s for sure 😂 the audio for the sounds they make in sex is worth it alone 😂😂😂😂 mind is blown.

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

ALC Review

Thank you to the author & NetGalley for the advanced copy ✨

Um.. I enjoyed this way more than I should have 😂😂

Emma was fighting against ’Big CARma’ because they wanted to get rid of trains on the island and push for more cars

Emma is a ‘train-sexual’ who ends up in a poly relationship with 3 train shifters
The train puns just never ended 😂

They call their appendages ‘smokestacks’
They CHOO CHOO when they… arrive

I was just cackling for 2 hours 🤣

If you go into this expecting anything but unhinged spice and train puns that’s on you lol. You were warned

[Tash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley for this ALC of Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance.

Like the author wrote this book to commit to the bit, I requested this ALC also to commit to the bit.

I feel like I have to give it a 5 star rating simply for the absolute unhinged chaos that this book was. It had me cackling alone in my house while doing my chores. I showed my best friends an excerpt of the part that sent me straight into orbit it was so funny.

Catch me and my friends adding "CHOO CHOO" to our collective vocab from here on out.

Surprisingly, and maybe I should have given Zane E. Stori more credit before I judged, but this did have a plot! It wasn't just senseless train smut (would have been fine if it was) but you could tell some real pondering went into this.

Thanks for the laughs Zane!!

[Katie Fredericks · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did I go into this blind because I saw it as an ALC on Net Galley?
Yes
Do the train puns deserve a star?
Also yes

In Zane’s author bio on good reads it states: “Her entire goal as an author is to make you tilt your head in confusion and ask yourself and others why these books exist.” That was definitely accomplished with this one. There could be more to the plot, but overall this is just a quirky book about trains. The narration was just okay. This is not my type of book and is not something I would recommend.

Thank you Net Galley and the publisher for the free ALC!

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

1 star for the puns, 1 star for the reading experience. More political than I was expecting… Was choo-choo-choosing chaos with this one.

[Susie | rekroceisusreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted this to be longer. Don’t know what that says about me. It was an unhinged good time and the audio pushed it from 3 star to 4 star territory.

[Shelby Weishaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the majority of my time listening to this book, my head was tilted to the side and I was thinking “what the heck am I listening to??” which essentially is the point of a book by @authorzaneestori ! While I was utterly confused by alien train people, I was thoroughly entertained the entire time. I will definitely never be able to look at, or ride, a train the same way ever again!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

After seeing this book I knew I needed to listen. Trains- sexual 🤣This book was a riot. So much fun. Cute story with a plot. Audiobook a MUST. Sound effects were awesome.

[SpankMeSmutty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Off the rails funny 😏😏 and spicy scenes that will have you questioning yourself 😅

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ridiculous on Purpose, but Not Carelessly Written

Thank you to NetGalley and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for providing an advance listening copy.

⭐️ 4/5 | 🌶️ 5/5 | 🎧 4/5

I picked up Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance strictly for science.

There are three train shifters. The FMC is canonically train-sexual. It’s why-choose. There are actual train noises, relentless puns, explicit train-related sex, and yes, the word pussy shows up basically before you’ve even settled into your seat.

My hypothesis was that this would be two hours of deliberately outrageous WTF bait.

Experiment failed successfully. 😂🚂

Because here’s the thing: this book is ridiculous on purpose, but it isn’t carelessly written.

I could tell within the first few lines that Zane E. Stori can actually write. Emma has a real voice. There’s an external plot involving saving the island railway. The three partners have distinguishable personalities and existing relationship dynamics. Consent and boundaries actually get checked. There’s tenderness underneath the absurdity. And somehow the author even gives the train-shifter situation coherent worldbuilding involving alien metamorphs whose train bodies are their primary forms.

Excuse me, why does the train sex have LORE? 😂

That commitment is what makes the entire thing work. The book never acts embarrassed by itself or pauses to wink at the reader like, “Can you believe how crazy this is?” It simply establishes that this is a world where a woman can fall into a polycule with sentient alien locomotives and then proceeds to tell an actual story about it.

And the plot matters! Emma’s fight to save the railway gives the novella a real spine, and I especially liked that she ultimately solves the problem. Her partners support and celebrate her, but they don’t swoop in and take over her story.

The relationship dynamics also had more substance than I expected. Gauge gets some genuinely sweet caretaking moments, Jamie is particularly good at watching Emma’s comfort level and slowing the group down when needed, and the existing polycule feels like something Emma is being welcomed into rather than three interchangeable love interests circling the FMC.

And yes, the spice is absolutely 5 peppers. This is not “a couple spicy scenes.” This is explicit, frequent, kink-forward, multiple-partner, restraints-and-dominance, literal-train-form sexual content. The train mechanics themselves eventually participate. I cannot make this more clear without becoming the book. ☠️

🎧 The audiobook was also a huge part of the experience. It’s performed in DUET by Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon, with train whistles, ambient effects, and narrators who commit completely to the bit. That commitment is essential for comedy this absurd. My only audio wish is that the male performance had been deeper. If you’re going to give me sentient locomotives, I want those trains to have some BASS. 😂

The funniest part is that underneath all the smokestacks and incredibly questionable railway operations, there’s even a little self-acceptance arc. Emma begins ashamed of how strange her sexuality feels and ends realizing she wouldn’t change it.

Is this life-changing literature? No.

Did it understand exactly what it wanted to be and execute that concept far better than I had any reasonable right to expect?

Absolutely.

Reading for Science verdict: successful experiment. 🚂😂

Content / Trigger Information

Check the content before boarding or your ride may be unpleasant. 😂

Expect very explicit sexual content, masturbation, multiple partners, restraints/dominance, kink, aggressive sexual dynamics, and literal sexual interaction involving train forms/mechanics. There is also an earlier interaction with some consent ambiguity before later scenes establish stronger boundary/consent practices.

Who Should Listen?

Readers who enjoy committed camp, absurdist erotica/romance, monster or nonhuman romance, why-choose/poly dynamics, aggressive puns, high spice, and authors who take a ridiculous premise seriously enough to actually build a world around it.

The duet production is also a major reason to choose the audiobook.

Do not board expecting a conventional fluffy romance with a few train jokes sprinkled on top. This book has a very specific destination, and it is going there at full speed. 😂🚂

[Sam · Rating 1 out of 5]

My Selling Pitch:
Girlypop really likes trains.

Once again, my fault for having eyes, but you’re picking this up for the lols.

Pre-reading:
Maybe I did get the train brand of autism.

(obviously potential spoilers from here on)
Thick of it:
Stop. The train whistle at the beginning of this audiobook just sent me.

She has an evil ex-boyfriend named Miles not per hour who’s trying to replace her beloved trains with cars😂

Wow, Linda walked so this girl could run.

Why don’t you wanna take public transit, Samantha?

The train noises have me dying laughing.

Why are they people? No, I hear how that sounds, but why are they people?

So that’s sextortion.

Oh, well, when you explain the joke, it’s even funnier. Yikes.

Omg text sound effects? Fun!

Oh my god, do you trust your conductor? I’m dead. I’m deceased.

Crying laughing at this. Imagine your ‘u up?’ bootycall hits you with an all aboard.

So they’re transformers lmao.

So is a safety inspection like a gyno visit for them???

Honestly, I expected it to be more bonkers. Also, what do you mean they’re aliens and then you don’t explain anything. Like can they eat people food? It doesn’t make any sense, and like that’s on me for expecting a book about fucking trains to make sense, but I feel like we could’ve done a little more work.

So that is someone else’s ass to mouth to vag, and you’re going to get an infection. You established that they can eat, so it’s gotta go somewhere. Ew, fucking ew.

Post-reading:
This is a shockingly well-produced audiobook for a pretty nothing smut book. You’re picking this up for the lols. There are some train pun jokes that will make you cringe in the best way, but I don’t think the book pushed it enough.

It was kind of a letdown that they’re just Transformer aliens with no real anatomical differences. I know this is a book written as a joke, but I feel like we could’ve done just a smidge more world-building. The mechanics- pun not intended- don’t really make sense. The characters’ names are random rather than train-oriented. We don’t find out how they came to the island or got their jobs. We don’t even get to find out what kind of trains they are which I think is pretty irksome.

They’re instantaneously horny and in love with one another, which is pretty par for the course for these types of books, but Nascosta’s spoiled me, and I know you can take a bonkers concept like Minotaur jizz factory and take it seriously. I wish this book had spent a little more time and effort doing so.

I don’t think it’s the healthiest poly situation. Rosie kind of blows past everyone’s boundaries. She sextorts the FMC when she meets her. I don’t wanna see predatory coercion in my silly goofy books.

I don’t know, these books are always hard to review because they are jokes, and you’re not actually meant to evaluate them on literary merit. It’ll definitely get a laugh out of you, especially if you pick up the audiobook because there’s sound effects, but if you’re looking for something taboo and hot, you’re gonna have to go elsewhere.

Who should read this:
Smut for the lols fans

Ideal reading time:
Anytime

Do I want to reread this:
No

Would I buy this:
No

Similar books:
* Sky Daddy by Kate Folk-lit fic, taboo kink, family drama, autism
* Gimmie A Pizza Dat Azz by T. R. Old in-smut for the lols, why choose

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Hillamonster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for providing this audiobook for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

Narrated by Cassandra Medcalf, Richard Pendragon

Format: audiobook

Rating: 3.75

Emma is a train-sexual that lives on an island and rides trains for pleasure. Her ex boyfriend’s company is trying to get rid of the railway on her island out of spite.

One by one she meets three sexy strangers that make her think she could actually be attracted to someone who’s Not a train:
Rosie, a fiery conductor; Gage, a kind passenger just as invested in trains; and Jamie, his talkative roommate.

Little does she know, these sexy strangers *Are* the trains, and they are just as interested as she is in saving the railway. And they are also interested in Her.

The sound effects and train POV/duet narration were effective and fun. The train puns and humor were self-aware and not forced or cringey. (Except for Gage’s dirty talk and roleplay).

I spent some time trying to figure out the logistics of one train being inside another, but all was eventually explained.

This is a queer and poly love story about accepting yourself and finding your joy even if others don’t understand, and fighting to preserve your home.

It’s very short, so the lack of depth, plot, and character development is to be expected, but this is more fun than I thought it would be. I actually liked this more than some romances I’ve read lately. Support your local transit!


Favorite Quotes:

Example ‘swears’ “Oh, Tracks!” and “That’s Scrapyard!”

“The car at the back of the train provided a bumpier ride than most people enjoyed…”

“Feel free to ride my rails anytime!”

“Stop letting your train of thought get derailed”

“I’m gonna bury my train so far into your tunnel”

“My girl was right on schedule, as usual”

“Wouldn’t want us to get to our destination without getting off first”

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

ALC Review - Thank you NetGalley and Audio ARC provided by Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for the opportunity to listen to this story in exchange for an honest review.

3 ⭐’s.

What in the Cho-cho did I just read!? And why did I not dislike it!? 😂

This was one of those books where I finished it and sat there wondering what the heck I had just experienced. This is a short, spicy, completely bonkers romance about a female human who is attracted to trains—there are 3 train shifters involved: one female, one male, and one non-binary.

The audiobook was a big part of the fun. Cassandra Medcalf and Richard Pendragon did a great job with the narration, which was performed in duet style with a hint of GraphicAudio tossed in, making the whole experience even more entertaining.

The story is quick, fast-paced, and gets right to it. There are so many train puns throughout the book, and somehow they didn’t have me rolling my eyes.

Was this ridiculous? Absolutely.
Did I question my choices while listening? Definitely.
Did I somehow enjoy the chaos? Sure did.

A specialized, spicy, pun-filled little story that definitely knows exactly how ridiculous it is (given the authors note at the end). Not an everyday read, but if you’re looking for something completely off-the-wall and different, all aboard! 🚂

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to start by thanking Zane E. Stori for a free review copy of the audiobook, I couldn’t have read it without you.

This was an incredible experience to read, and I can certainly say I’ve never read anything like it. In concept it reminds me greatly of a chuck tingle novel, anthropomorphised object erotica. Unfortunately I’ve never read anything by him so I can’t comment on the style comparisons itself.

I very much appreciated the extent of the train puns, felt like she really went *full steam ahead*. One gripe I have to express though is why is it cho-cho, everyone knows trains go choo-choo. I’m not sure how it’s spelt in the text as I had an audiobook but I feel like that’s a serious faux pas for a purported train lover.

I think there was a very good balance of character development and plot, alongside the sex scenes to keep the book moving at a strong pace. For such a short audiobook, only being only 2.25 hours long, she was able to fit in an engaging narrative that ended nicely, tying up the plots nicely.

I think this is definitely a book best appreciated audibly, as all the sound effects really stepped it up a notch, with the train whistles and more it had me laughing and crying at times as we followed the twists and turns of Emma’s trainsexuality. I think I would have liked to know earlier that the trains could transform as I did get a little confused at the start if only Gauge was a train but it did all get ironed out in like with Emma’s discoveries.

I think is a must read for any train lovers!