What Kind of Mother: A Reckoning

by Judy Sandler

A mother’s memoir that reckons with her son’s descent into severe mental illness. What appears to be substance use disorder in high school later becomes a dual diagnosis as bipolar disorder emerges. Her son soon grows disillusioned with prescribed pharmaceuticals and participates in a residential treatment program that assists people in forgoing medication altogether. However, the program ultimately ejects him from the community for the very behaviors that the medication once managed. The book chronicles Sandler's initial denial of her truth, her painful awakening to mental illness in her family, and her eventual acceptance that she cannot save her son―only he can save himself.

356 pages, Paperback

Published September 8, 2026

Reviews

[Cindy Beams]

I was able to secure an advance reader copy of What Kind of Mother. I found the story and the writing so compelling that I am reading it for a second time. The author shares her story as the mother of someone struggling with addiction and mental health challenges. An important story that the author tells with insight and compassion.

[John Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Searingly honest, heartfelt, and funny, Sandler has shared a very personal story that is relatable for all who have ever tried to be a parent. In addition her brave act of mining her own childhood and family structures will be relevant for all readers. The baggage we are given by our families and what we pass on is at the heart of this very engaging read. The author shares her journey as a mother with unflinching honesty which in a day of influencers and the seemingly perfect life available to all through social media is refreshing and incredibly helpful for those of us who don’t have perfect families. Sandler’s poetic language will grab your heart, make laugh and cry nearly simultaneously and have you deeply connected to her odyssey of self discovery.

Highly recommended!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished the book and I’m weeping with joy for you. It’s so honest and messy and loving and heartfelt. I felt the pain and also felt the hope. You, my friend, are the best kind of writer, the one who makes you feel the story. You made me ache and laugh and root for you all the way through. It is a piece of your heart, and I’m SO PROUD of you for this brave, beautiful gift you’ve written.
❣️💥🩷🥰📚🌟

[Cindi Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished your book and am in awe of your strength. This book speaks to the struggles that all parents face. When do we step in to help our children, and when does our help become a hindrance to their growth? Take away the mental health aspect, and you are still looking at decisions parents face every day. Add mental illness to the equation, and sometimes you can barely keep yourself afloat, much less be there for your child who is struggling.  it was a profound read Judy.

[Molly Saint-James · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book by the title. We've all asked ourselves "What kind of mother...?" but I was especially interested in the "reckoning" part. It did not disappoint. Sandler writes pointedly and honestly about her relationship to her son's mental illness while being careful to remind us that this is her point of view and not her son's. I also really liked her voice and the way she employed short, succinct chapters to move the story forward. Highly recommend!

[Emily Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing - so brutally honest about a mother’s journey trying to manage her son’s mental illness. The book’s format makes for an easy, quick read. The vulnerability of the author and the complexity of the topic will stay with me long after. This book about motherhood is powerful and moving.

[Ann L · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real page turner. The book accurately reflects parents angst when dealing with a child who has mental health and drug addiction issues. Thank you for writing such an honest account it was such a touching book.

[Joann Levin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sandler’s memoir was a compelling story that I could not put down. Beautifully written narrative told with honesty and sensitivity about one mother’s struggle coming to terms with her son’s illness which all mothers can relate to.