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Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands.
56 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 18, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 7, 2026
A decent , bloody revenge story full of spite and nastiness about a young girl who is getting bullied and physically abused both at home and at school.
A little predictable and very like lots of short tales of this type which was a bit of a shame as I was hoping for something a little more deep and meaningful.
However, I really liked the idea that the action was written after her own experiences growing up with her father.
Right, off now to do some 'online shopping'.
Rating: 3.5 stars (rounded down due to the obvious predictability woven into the narrative)
April 25, 2026
Easily could have read another 100 pages about Beth and her journey. Brilliant splatterpunk 👌🏻
August 11, 2026
I recieved this book for an honest review, I believe the book released yesterday!
This is the story of Beth, Beth has a shitty life. She has an absolute piece of shit father, a school life that is full of torment and absolutely no form of escape. Beth finally realises her shit cup runneth over and now others need to pay.
Great story with a great protagonist. lots of blood and gore, really good read!
This is the story of Beth, Beth has a shitty life. She has an absolute piece of shit father, a school life that is full of torment and absolutely no form of escape. Beth finally realises her shit cup runneth over and now others need to pay.
Great story with a great protagonist. lots of blood and gore, really good read!
March 21, 2026
Whenever You Touch Dead Things You Must Always Wash Your Hands
🎉 HAPPY RELEASE DAY 🎉
Lula is keeping me busyyyy with these releases recently! I am definitely not complaining though, I LOVE it 👏🏼
“She had bloomed like a macabre flower, never to allow sadness in her heart again”
Beth was brought up with tragedy & abuse. Losing her mother to a brutal murder at a young age & having an alcoholic father that did nothing but taunt & abuse her meant she had to desensitise herself to the world.
She was just seven years old when she tasted her first drop of alcohol & just ten when she realised she liked it mixed with side of a little “special” something 🩸
As the abuse continues at home & now at school something inside Beth snaps, she takes back all control of herself! She won’t tolerate bullyish people anymore!
Getting rid of the trash whilst getting her 🩸 fix sounds like the new perfect life for her 😌
Oh, this one was a special little gem, I really did feel so sad for Beth! Her pos “dad” was lucky to of lived for as long as he did! Beth did become unhinged but she was literally forced into that by the cards she was dealt & deserved to take back the control for once!
Also I just want to say I am so proud of you Lula. You’re an incredible author, beautiful person & I don’t think you get told that enough, you should be super proud of yourself. Fingers up to those who ever hurt or doubted you, you’re amazing 🤎
Released today! Get this little beauty on KU/ ebook & make sure to show Lula some love!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🎉 HAPPY RELEASE DAY 🎉
Lula is keeping me busyyyy with these releases recently! I am definitely not complaining though, I LOVE it 👏🏼
“She had bloomed like a macabre flower, never to allow sadness in her heart again”
Beth was brought up with tragedy & abuse. Losing her mother to a brutal murder at a young age & having an alcoholic father that did nothing but taunt & abuse her meant she had to desensitise herself to the world.
She was just seven years old when she tasted her first drop of alcohol & just ten when she realised she liked it mixed with side of a little “special” something 🩸
As the abuse continues at home & now at school something inside Beth snaps, she takes back all control of herself! She won’t tolerate bullyish people anymore!
Getting rid of the trash whilst getting her 🩸 fix sounds like the new perfect life for her 😌
Oh, this one was a special little gem, I really did feel so sad for Beth! Her pos “dad” was lucky to of lived for as long as he did! Beth did become unhinged but she was literally forced into that by the cards she was dealt & deserved to take back the control for once!
Also I just want to say I am so proud of you Lula. You’re an incredible author, beautiful person & I don’t think you get told that enough, you should be super proud of yourself. Fingers up to those who ever hurt or doubted you, you’re amazing 🤎
Released today! Get this little beauty on KU/ ebook & make sure to show Lula some love!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
May 8, 2026
Oh Wow...What a bloody rollercoaster of a brutal and gory read...it made me sweat and it made me scream.
I could have just kept on reading about Beth and her sad shitty life with her abusive father and bullying school "friends".
Her eating and drinking habits were sickening and vile...and she certainly didn't believe in using sanitary products!!!
She wanted to taste and savour the "Red Stuff" and nothing was gonna stop her from getting it!!
This was an intriguing and interesting revenge story...well written and packed into a short read.
Bravo... Lula Von Goth...I loved this and didn't want it to end.
The ending left me completely craving more of Beth and her wicked ways.
5🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟's Now I've got to go and wash not only my hands but my whole damn body and mind.
I could have just kept on reading about Beth and her sad shitty life with her abusive father and bullying school "friends".
Her eating and drinking habits were sickening and vile...and she certainly didn't believe in using sanitary products!!!
She wanted to taste and savour the "Red Stuff" and nothing was gonna stop her from getting it!!
This was an intriguing and interesting revenge story...well written and packed into a short read.
Bravo... Lula Von Goth...I loved this and didn't want it to end.
The ending left me completely craving more of Beth and her wicked ways.
5🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟's Now I've got to go and wash not only my hands but my whole damn body and mind.
August 20, 2026
3.5 Stars
A fun story about a young woman who was raised poorly by her father, bullied at school and ends up getting revenge on them. Beth was a good character; the story was fun, albeit predictable, and the action was plenty.
If you like female revenge and want it served dark and bloody, then this is for you.
A fun story about a young woman who was raised poorly by her father, bullied at school and ends up getting revenge on them. Beth was a good character; the story was fun, albeit predictable, and the action was plenty.
If you like female revenge and want it served dark and bloody, then this is for you.
April 10, 2026
Holy shit what a rollercoaster! I love the female rage of the mc!!
Finished in one sitting and it was an incredible read!! Loved it all the way through! Character development on mc was brilliant!!
If you like female rage/revenge you should definitely check this out. Will always recommend!!
Great plot!!
Finished in one sitting and it was an incredible read!! Loved it all the way through! Character development on mc was brilliant!!
If you like female rage/revenge you should definitely check this out. Will always recommend!!
Great plot!!
March 22, 2026
Another short story masterpiece. I just love how she took revenge in this. Soooo amazing
May 25, 2026
I love a good revenge story! I really enjoyed this story, but felt like the ending just ended. I feel like there should be more. Maybe a part two ....? Or am I just being greedy?
August 8, 2026
I picked up Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands directly from author Lula Von Goth at the Indie Horror Chapter event Chapter 4: Liverpool Horror Book Con. I've been really looking forward to reading this because it has a great title, a great cover, and I really enjoyed
Caught In The Spider's Web
, also by Von Goth.
Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands opens with a blisteringly raw Dedication. The book then throws us into the world of Beth, a young girl suffering through an awful home life and a terrible school life, finding very little respite. At times I was feeling Carrie vibes whilst reading this, although Von Goth is far more unflinching with the brutality.
Once again, much like in Caught In The Spider's Web , Von Goth presents us with a character who does horrible things, and yet we can't help but sympathise with her. Time and effort is taken into showing how Beth's circumstances have impacted her psyche, and despite her methods of settling the score being rather questionable, I couldn't help but root for her.
This isn't a particularly long read, but there is an oppressive atmosphere that hangs over the narrative, making it at times difficult to persevere. This is a testament to Von Goth's writing, but I did find myself taking my time with this book, not exactly eager to read on as more suffering and punishment is dished out. It's a powerful but bleak piece of work.
3.5/5
Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands opens with a blisteringly raw Dedication. The book then throws us into the world of Beth, a young girl suffering through an awful home life and a terrible school life, finding very little respite. At times I was feeling Carrie vibes whilst reading this, although Von Goth is far more unflinching with the brutality.
Once again, much like in Caught In The Spider's Web , Von Goth presents us with a character who does horrible things, and yet we can't help but sympathise with her. Time and effort is taken into showing how Beth's circumstances have impacted her psyche, and despite her methods of settling the score being rather questionable, I couldn't help but root for her.
This isn't a particularly long read, but there is an oppressive atmosphere that hangs over the narrative, making it at times difficult to persevere. This is a testament to Von Goth's writing, but I did find myself taking my time with this book, not exactly eager to read on as more suffering and punishment is dished out. It's a powerful but bleak piece of work.
3.5/5
March 24, 2026
What a hell of a title: Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands! Written by the amazing Lula Von Goth. She has done it again. Another deliciously gory book to tickle your extreme horror fancy! And this cover! LOVE!
This story follows Beth, who had a traumatic upbringing with the murder of her mom and horrible abuse at the hands of her drunk dad. Her only way to cope is to numb herself to everything around her. As she gets older, the abuse spills over to school - that's when she finally snaps.
This story is under 60 pages, but it is packed with everything I love! I love a female lead that snaps and goes after what she wants, be it revenge or revenge with a large helping of blood! I will read anything that Lula publishes.
Thanks to Lula Von Goth for gifting me an eARC of Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands. I am leaving this review voluntarily. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This story follows Beth, who had a traumatic upbringing with the murder of her mom and horrible abuse at the hands of her drunk dad. Her only way to cope is to numb herself to everything around her. As she gets older, the abuse spills over to school - that's when she finally snaps.
This story is under 60 pages, but it is packed with everything I love! I love a female lead that snaps and goes after what she wants, be it revenge or revenge with a large helping of blood! I will read anything that Lula publishes.
Thanks to Lula Von Goth for gifting me an eARC of Whenever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands. I am leaving this review voluntarily. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
April 16, 2026
Lula Von Goth does it again & somehow pushes things even further.
I always enjoy her writing & she has a real talent for packing in as much gore as possible without it ever feeling pointless. This one is relentless in the best way. It’s graphic, uncomfortable, & at times genuinely hard to stomach, but that’s exactly what makes it so effective.
I read this in one sitting because once it gets its hooks into you, there’s no putting it down. No matter how brutal it gets, you need to know what happens next.
At its core, this is a savage, deeply unsettling story of abuse, trauma, & revenge. What stood out to me, & what I’ve seen others say too, is how Lula balances the shock factor with something more meaningful underneath. There’s anger here, pain, & a sense of justice that’s as disturbing as it is satisfying.
If you like your horror dark, raw, & completely uncompromising, this one delivers.
I always enjoy her writing & she has a real talent for packing in as much gore as possible without it ever feeling pointless. This one is relentless in the best way. It’s graphic, uncomfortable, & at times genuinely hard to stomach, but that’s exactly what makes it so effective.
I read this in one sitting because once it gets its hooks into you, there’s no putting it down. No matter how brutal it gets, you need to know what happens next.
At its core, this is a savage, deeply unsettling story of abuse, trauma, & revenge. What stood out to me, & what I’ve seen others say too, is how Lula balances the shock factor with something more meaningful underneath. There’s anger here, pain, & a sense of justice that’s as disturbing as it is satisfying.
If you like your horror dark, raw, & completely uncompromising, this one delivers.
April 17, 2026
Grim and dark!
It still amazes me how much this author can pack into so few pages, and this is something that should no longer amaze me at all. In her latest work, Lula Von Goth has created a character who is wretched and cold, forlorn and brutal. A bullied and abused young woman whose pain and suffering you immediately feel even while you’re horrified, even repulsed at the extent of her revenge when she finally reaches the point in which enough is enough. This author cleverly draws you into this world of desolation and brutality and propels you relentlessly to the chilling ending. The last glimpse you get inside the head of Beth will leave you with a deep feeling of dread for the next unfortunate to cross her bloody path. A story that is unapologetic in both its content and delivery. Highly recommended…but do tread carefully with this one.
It still amazes me how much this author can pack into so few pages, and this is something that should no longer amaze me at all. In her latest work, Lula Von Goth has created a character who is wretched and cold, forlorn and brutal. A bullied and abused young woman whose pain and suffering you immediately feel even while you’re horrified, even repulsed at the extent of her revenge when she finally reaches the point in which enough is enough. This author cleverly draws you into this world of desolation and brutality and propels you relentlessly to the chilling ending. The last glimpse you get inside the head of Beth will leave you with a deep feeling of dread for the next unfortunate to cross her bloody path. A story that is unapologetic in both its content and delivery. Highly recommended…but do tread carefully with this one.
March 22, 2026
They say hurt people hurt people, and this adage comes true for Beth as she tries to navigate growing up with an abusive parent and as a victim of bullying. Beth finds comfort where she can, which will only lead to a downward spiral, but for who? With Lulas matter-of-fact writing style, this story strip away all the fluff and gets right to the heart of the matter- how much can one person take?
April 1, 2026
A life of abuse and neglect can break even the strongest person. Beth was no different. She tried to pretend life was normal, she tried to survive. But everyone has their limits, and Beth found hers. Sanity has slipped, and those that wronged her will pay for their mistakes. This is heartbreaking, violent, and a wee bit gross, and I absolutely loved it
September 1, 2026
Saw this on Kindle Unlimited, the title and the cover caught my eye. Admittedly I wasn't expecting this to be extreme horror, it's gross and gory but it's also not a bad short story, better than some longer horror stories I've read.
March 28, 2026
I would have loved for this book to be longer with more development, however for such a mini, it packed a punch.
April 26, 2026
"I survived more than I should have, and to all the people who hurt, abused and took me for granted, I'm stronger than you ever gave me credit for. I will never again stay silent because it was safer than speaking out and I will never allow myself to be small again. So to those that caused my trauma... Disrespectfully, eat shit."
Maybe it is just because of the place I am at in my life dealing with situations caused by speaking up and trying to right wrongs and force accountability that this book hit for me. I am really loving books about women taking back power, seeking out revenge and finding themselves. Though this novella is probably not for everyone, it happened to be the right book at the right time for me.
Maybe it is just because of the place I am at in my life dealing with situations caused by speaking up and trying to right wrongs and force accountability that this book hit for me. I am really loving books about women taking back power, seeking out revenge and finding themselves. Though this novella is probably not for everyone, it happened to be the right book at the right time for me.
April 13, 2026
"So for those who cause my trauma, disrespectfully eat shit."
Whatever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands is part revenge plot but also about Beth finding herself. My favourite trope at the moment is women finding their freedom in horror, and this is so perfect for that. I love that Beth is both an unlikable character but also a sympathetic character too. You feel for her and kind of want her to enact revenge despite the fact that it involves heinous acts of violence.
I read this all in one sitting I was gripped from page one. This was great!
Whatever You Touch Dead Things, You Must Always Wash Your Hands is part revenge plot but also about Beth finding herself. My favourite trope at the moment is women finding their freedom in horror, and this is so perfect for that. I love that Beth is both an unlikable character but also a sympathetic character too. You feel for her and kind of want her to enact revenge despite the fact that it involves heinous acts of violence.
I read this all in one sitting I was gripped from page one. This was great!
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews