Things I Would Like To Do With You

by Waylon H. Lewis

Waylon Lewis’ long-awaited first book is romantic—and then some. But it details a different kind of romance: instead of chick flick, “you complete me,” happily-ever-after fantasy…Things marks an exploration of the kind of love that lasts. A kind of love that includes independence, humor, room for growth…even loneliness. Poetically searching through four seasons and touching upon dozens of past relationships on a path to awakening, Things I Would Like to Do with You is a sweet book to curl up with, to learn with, to laugh with, and maybe to cry with.

Get the book: http://elephantjournal.com/books


Printed and bound in the United States on chlorine-free 30% recycled
100% sustainably-harvested paper with vegetable-based inks and a plasticfree
cloth cover. Distributed without Amazon. Every book karmically-offset
by a donation to help a cute orphaned baby elephant via Sheldrick Trust.

Genres: Poetry, Fiction, Relationships, Romance, Love, Personal Growth

257 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 2016

Reviews

[Cynthia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Man oh man, where to start...

I stumbled upon this author back in June when I was going through a break up. His YouTube videos on Buddhism and relationships really struck a cord with me and I had an instant "crush". You only need to read through the comments on his social media to know that his "anti-romance romance" appeals to a lot of women. I started to share his videos with all my friends, mostly girlfriends. I ordered this book. It cost a fortune to purchase and although I love the eco-friendliness of it the contents sadly do not live up to the prohibitive costs. More on that later.

There are some really beautiful lines in this book that I feel are very insightful. Yet, the more I circulated videos of his to friends, the more I followed Elephant Journal, the more I followed his post on social media, the more I read of this book, the more I started to feel uncomfortable. I even poked at him in jest a few times on social media out of a sense of this uncomfortable.

Now, I think uncomfortable is good. It's where you learn. So I started to question, why is this person rubbing me the wrong way?

Here are things that really stood out to me:

A - The girlfriends whom I circulated his videos to saw right through him. They thought he was full of shit. These are strong powerful women in egalitarian relationships with a strong sense of self. See, I'm not good with men: I chase after narcissistic childish man boys, in-love with their sense of freedom and unwillingness to suffer the compromise necessary to make a life with someone. Waylon, although I think a good person, seems to think he knows a lot about love for someone in his 40s seemingly unwilling to compromise in any kind of substantial way. He appeals to women as a man who refuses to compromise for his "ideals" which includes his eco-warrior approach, yet ultimately he truly seems like a player in disguise as a Buddhist monk. Yet, I do not think it is sex that he ultimately chases (although he seems to get a lot), I think it is "love" but a deranged uncompromising love. A love that is all about "his perspective". That is what this book is: everything from his perspective. There is very little mention of the woman's perspective in this book. The way he idealizes his lovers and turns them into mythological creatures, yet all the while trying to profess a mundane every day exchange with them, is a form of objectification. He focuses on "the little things" yet obviously the little things are truly not as valuable as he pretends given his continuous singleton status.

B - Elephant Journal, owned by Waylon, he is editor-and-chief, is a flipping chick flick! I signed up at first appreciating the articles on relationships due to the break up I was going through. After about a month though, I was fucking annoyed that every time I logged onto my Facebook or Instagram I was bombarded with articles all about relationships. It claims to be this eco-warrior "journal" but the content is like a chick flick starring a tarot card reader on acid. Really out of control. THEN at one point, he actually lashed out at the writers of his own journal! Basically accusing them of being full of shit. Is he not editor-and-chief??? Why is he not ensuring the content that he is publishing is in line with his mission statement? It was very bizarre. Given that most of the writers of his journal are women, he professes to be a kind of feminist, I found it quite aggressive for self-proclaimed Buddhist. It seems as though he has completely detached himself from his journal, hiring people who complete his "academy" (I'm not certain he is qualified to be teaching) to run the show while he rides his bike around walking his cute dog chatting up women.

C - His social media presence has confirmed for me that he has "issues". The final straw for me, as a mother, was when he published this quote, he publishes quotes by himself almost continuously (if it is his staff doing that it kind of goes to show how much he needs to be "worshipped" by them), comparing the act of writing with being a mother. This confirmed for me that he does not "get women" AT ALL. To compare the act of carrying a child, birthing and caring for a child, very selfless, exhausting, identity shattering act, an act solely accomplished by women (who by the way do all that and write too!!!), an act completely devalued by society as akin to writing a self-absorbed novel about all the times you got laid is disgusting. That was the "block delete" end for any association I will have with Elephant Journal, or Waylon.

The conclusion that I came to was that the reason why this person rubs me the wrong way is that he is very similar to the narcissist I had just broken up with. A wolf in different sheep clothing, in Buddhist monk robes! I actually have a lot of compassion for him (it may not seem like it here but I do) because he is obviously deeply hurt somehow. All narcissists are. Yet, sadly, narcissists are incapable of recognizing that they are one. This is evident in the way he lashed out as his female writers about all the articles they were writing on his journal about empaths falling in love with narcissists. He doesn't believe in it because he himself is one, a narcissistic black hole out of control, churning and churning, requiring so much narcisisstic supply from empathetic women who fall for his exaggerated faux idealistic claims he has literally made a career out of it. Sorry Waylon if you are reading this but it's true.

So, if you are considering paying the absorbitant amount of money for this book or paying to join Elephant Journal you may want to take all of this into consideration. I do not think this person is of the position to offer any true meaningful insights into the kind of love we all deserve: unconditional, compassionate, passionate love. A love that requires some form of compromise. A love that is not all about him, his perspective, his uncompromising ideals, but about her too, her perspective, her needs that yeah, may require giving up something.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book 6-stars, I would!

This book is love. This book is about love.

Mr. Lewis, the editor of the popular web magazine Elephant Journal, began this book by writing an article for Elephant and when published on the site, met more popularity than anything else he had written. It went viral in the days when viral was possible for us little people.

So he turned it into a book where he explores a love for a new generation.

"[...] a love replete with intimacy and trust, a love with room for change and independence, a love without ownership."

This is a radical love. This is not the kind of love you will find portrayed in most romance novels. It is a better love, in my opinion, because this love is not looking for redemption, it is looking for authenticity and it’s willing to wait until we're ready to show up, truly as we are, with our hearts open.

"This story is not true, but it is not fiction. This story is my heart’s life."

Mr. Lewis has this wonderful style of writing in prose mixed with poetry and quotes.

"And I must remind you that none of this is serious, it is only daydream, occasionally hot to the touch. If you are not here, you will only hear a bird’s too-loud cheery morning song.

But one of you may strike a match to light up these dreams and these words may become real. Here are the scraps of paper: each chapter tells of past relationships until now, so that you will know all of me and so that I may let go of all and so that we may leap into our unknown futures."

So he writes to you, for you, to the one he is waiting for, for the one he is waiting for.

I volleyed between a wide range of emotions reading this… from pain and sorrow to joy and giddy. It was one of those magical reads that kept my heart open regardless, that made me want to be vulnerable so I could embrace the love he wrote of fully, to stay that way long after finishing the read.

It is a book I will read again and again (hence the 6th star) for it opened me up to a love I knew I sought but wasn't able to articulate. Mr. Lewis gave me the blueprint and I will have to go back to it now and then to remind myself that this is the love I deserve.

And I stand to give Mr. Lewis an ovation for his high level of consciousness, being in service, and finding the resources to take "indie" to the full extent.

"The book you hold in your hands is about the quiet power of Nature and true love. I therefore could not print with a Big Publisher (they print plastic, toxic, overseas). So we went our own way. Our hard-won achievements include: printing in the USA (and locally!—22 blocks from my home); keeping the cover plastic-free; using 30% recycled, 100% chlorine-free, 100% sustainably-managed carbon sucking paper with veggie-based inks; and offsetting every book and its shipping with a donation to save an orphaned elephant baby (Sheldrick Trust)."

AND, not using Amazon to distribute the book.

"[…] Amazon is a book bully: bad for publishers, authors and readers (google “New Yorker: ‘Cheap Words’”)."

I highly recommend you check this out because we are all worthy of this kind of love.

[Ace · Rating 1 out of 5]

Many people speak of this books’ beauty, including the author. It’s also irritating.

I admire Waylon’s courage to bear his heart, and to put the words on the [eco-friendly] page. The manner in which he does it rubs me the wrong way. I think it’s because there’s a good deal of uncomfortable juxtaposition.

His language is simple, but self-aggrandizing. He speaks of others while being self-absorbed. His words are sprinkled with the profound, but you can feel how hard he’s trying. His coy attempt at humility feels blatantly humble, like he is smugly smiling from afar, enamored with his own opinions and ideas.

I can’t help but think that if a woman wrote this, she would be instantly labelled as self-centered, picky, and conceited. But because this man wrote it, he’s sensitive and romantic. He has this odd expectation that there is some mysterious woman waiting for him, who will independently waltz into his Boulder life from downstream Denver. She will be successful, down to earth, wild, gentle, sexy, beautiful, sharp, kind, and all manner of other contrasting double-standard characteristics you can think of. This must be a reflection of the characteristics he perceives himself to have. It is fine to want a life partner that matches you, but the way he does it spells out objectification. He reeks of narcissism. There are some scary phrases about him hating being respectful because women hate respect, and how she should respect his respect fullness and even though nice guys lose, he won’t. Rape culture, much?


I can’t imagine what it would feel like to read this book after starting to date Waylon. However, I do see that he aims to live in radical love. I respect that. But there’s something troubled about his approach. It feels like there’s a deep violence behind it, despite him claiming to be Bhuddist. Maybe this discomfort I’m feeling here teaches me that I don’t care to learn about the male gaze, even if shod in romance. (Instagram tells me that he has now found the perfect independent woman: Melissa. I wish them the best but I hope for her sake that he’s not as infuriating as this book.)

There is good use of metaphor, onomatopoeia, and candid run on sentences, but poor editing of punctuation and word choice. The editing feels patchy. There are typos. Some words are carefully chosen and other sentences are careless and ramshackle. Same goes for the quotes he added throughout. (By self-publishing he gets to have his way)

He is most settled in chapter 25 “Things I would like to do when I feel Alone”. He is finally admitting to his sadness and alone-ness. This chapter feels most honest, modest, and is the least irritating. Chapter 26 “Things I would like to do Before I leave you” is a nice conclusion and summary of all that came before it.

Reading this book also demonstrated to me that Waylon Lewis is elephantjournal and elephantjournal is Waylon Lewis. If you get annoyed with elephantjournal’s bold unsubstantiated claims and poor editing, then you will probably find this book annoying too. But just like elephantjournal, you will find some gems that mean something to you, and keep coming back for more...wait a minute...this sounds uncomfortably familiar...(if you’ve dated a narcissist)

I travelled to Boulder from Saskatchewan in October 2018 and visited the Boulder Book Store. This book was $38 USD.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I so very much wanted to adore this book. I love elephant. I follow the author on social media and had previewed snippets of the book. Unfortunately it is not really about a romance or relationship. It has a good chapter early on and then super random insightful observations. Otherwise it comes across as: smug, self righteous, pretentious, hipstery, elitist and snobby in a vegan environmentalist bicyclist who thinks little of humanity as a whole.

If that were the end I might have skipped the review. But he also has 'nice guys finish last' syndrome which alternates with some creepy lack of self awareness about how a relationship (or lack) is progressing or not. He gets genuinely angry with a potential suitor for moving on to others. His words are nasty and judgmental. He also reveals that this 'relationship' consisted of maybe 10-12 evenings before it soured. The way it is built up before that it seems much more significant. He has pretty sexist notions for such a free thinker.

I found myself thinking 'smug' and 'self righteous' and 'selfish' repeatedly. NOT worth the price for the gift set at all.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful. I've read it through once, and now I think throughout this year I will read small bits of it over again, as it is the kind of writing that does you well if you let it sit in your head and contemplate it.

[Britt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like I've waited forever for this book to be published when really think about it it was only one year. But the wait was worth.

I made it a point to only read a chapter a night to let Waylons words,dreams, fantasies and warm fuzzies seep in. Beautiful play with words along with a beautiful representation of what love for another and for oneself should represent. I will now refer to this book as my bible regarding all things love.

[Lili · Rating 2 out of 5]

During a girls’ weekend in October 2020, one of my best friends asked two of us if we would read this book with her because she had heard from a number of people how amazing it was. Once we agreed, she immediately hopped on Amazon to buy us copies, only to discover that used copies started at over forty dollars. After reading the publisher’s blurb on Goodreads, we discovered that we had to go to a special website and order the books there for thirty-five dollars each (plus shipping!).

This book was anything but amazing. All three of us strongly disliked it for similar reasons. The book is written to a generic woman, who is directly addressed as “you” throughout. But each of the twenty-eight chapters seemed to be addressed to a different woman, as the addressee took on different physical and/or emotional traits from chapter to chapter. Even when we decided to batch seven chapters at a time to hasten the book’s end, it was still a difficult gimmick to get accustomed to. And then there was the writing itself, which was overflowing with adjectives, some of which were made up mash ups of real words. Beer was always “hoppy,” sweat was always “salty sweet,” coffee was always “hot and black.” It seemed as nothing could just be. There was very little sense of place developed, as the author kept using generic place names - Fog City, Grey Skyscraper City, and so on. Even the dog lacked a name, and was referred to Red dog throughout.

The content was the worst of all. The “you” to whom the writing was addressed was idealized, demonized, fetishized, objectified, anything but humanized. The “I” speaker alternated between self-indulgently self-pitying and morally high handed. Additionally, the constant references to the speaker cycling everywhere, being a Buddhist, and being vegan made the book intolerable. It was so bad that my two co-readers and I routinely texted each other gems from the text such as “I hate being respectful, women do not find it attractive” (page 150).

I can see how this book might appeal to a certain set as a lyrical ode to love, loss, and loneliness. But our little reading group was so unimpressed that we couldn’t finish it fast enough.

[Katie Phillips · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really excited for this book. I had read nothing but good reviews. Maybe it just wasn't the right book for me. The author does write beautifully, but I feel the book itself was extremely repetitive. Halfway through I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again.

[Alec · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It is simply beautiful.

[Laurie Popovac · Rating 2 out of 5]

so disappointed. yawn. every chapter is essentially the same. one chapter sums up the rest. :[

[Shelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

We started this book as soon as we got it right around the beginning of 2016, and are still slowly working our way through it, but please don't mistake the loooooong reading time for displeasure or boredom! Rather, it's because we feel it to be a valuable, finite resource, and therefore we utilize it judiciously, reading little bits at a time so we don't run out. There's just this way we have of knowing when it's time to pull out this wise, warm, vulnerable volume and read it outloud to each other. Remarkably, yet still somehow unsurprisingly, Things I Would Like To Do With You nearly always meets us exactly where we are and tells us just what we need to hear in that particular moment.

It's just icing on the cake that it's also beautifully printed: a rich red cover embossed in gold, a pleasing weight, heft, and luxuriousness in the hands, and Waylon's practiced calligraphy and sweet illustrations scattered throughout. It is a book that will forever live on our bedside bookshelf.

For anyone who has ever been in love, for anyone who's ever wished they were in love, and for anyone who's ever had their heart broken, this book's gentle prose will touch the very simple, basic, root emotions of romantic relationships that are common to them – and to us all.

Full disclosure: Author Waylon H. Lewis is a friend of mine, but I paid full price for the book! And of course, as always, my reviews are completely honest no matter what.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book just became my yearly Christmas read! Thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover while sipping from my extra-large tea mug and hugging Pinky - this pink, duh!, oversized elephant that keeps me warm during winter time ... only until He makes his way into my life or till I will know he is He!
It's the story of every love, a dedication to all past loves and future ones, ardent with desire and plans for that one "last" love. We all dream about that person, about how life together would be like, and feel like, and smell, and taste... enjoy this fabulous read and fall in love with Love over and over again!

[Priti Saini · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really thought that 'you' would be 'one and only' and not a list of lovers. But since there were many 'you's' it was confusing. And then the immense repetition of affections that the writer looks and hopes to find in one true love finds them in many. In the beginning it was enjoyable but then it quickly became a future tense of 'scroll of lovers' along with a sense of highty mighty from the male's perpective and hence it became one sided perception with unbelievable amount of same things.

[Bess O'Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautifully written book. Romantic, erotic and extremely touching! Reading this book feeds my soul.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tedious. Tiresome and repetitive. Could have been charming if it was just a few pages. I love the idea of this book but the execution was mediocre.

[Jordan Tatis · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is amazing for the melancholic at heart. It could be cliché for some, so read at your own risk! I personally loved it. It shows the growth someone can have from learning from previous relationships and enjoying the little moments that can cause a huge difference in a person’s point of view when it comes to love, as a subject and feeling.

[Giulia · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the beginning I thought this book was talking about love, and then I understood: this book IS love. I enjoyed it slowly, and I will for sure come back to it again!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really did enjoy this book. I think it does a great job at providing the reader with an idea of what love can be. This book was reccomended to me by a dear friend and it was so worth the read!

[Chloe Hefner · Rating 1 out of 5]

The first few chapters of Waylon's book are incredibly beautiful, but don't be fooled. His use of language is romantic and enrapturing but this book takes a dark turn in which the speaker, presumably Waylon himself, becomes controlling, manipulative, and misogynistic. He objectifies, belittles, and undermines the woman he claims to love so much in a pathetic attempt to prove a point, that point being she chose wrong when she chose not to have him as a partner. This is the most disgusting book I have read in 2022 and I will not be picking anything up by Waylon again.

[Ely Cortez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved soooo many parts of this book and endless parts were beautifully written. The only reason I didn’t give it 5 stars is because it eventually started to feel repetitive. Beautifully worded but very repetitive. The author also seems to boast and continuously remind the reader he has had many lovers. Parts were Magic but I felt as a book it lacked a few things. As a blog or article it would have been gold!

[Jacque]

A weird and borderline pathetic feel to it, yet also romantic and profound. Not a book I felt I could just sit down to and read in long sittings. There were many sections I rolled my eyes or found myself tuning out, but also many that made me want to take notes on and simmer in the words for a few days.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely the best book I've read all year! This book is the literary equivalent of a warm cup of coffee and cozy blanket on a chilly day. I am filled to brim with fuzzy warmth after reading this.

[Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely. Delicately worded but harsh and real at the same time. Everything I needed to read.

[Kailee Eidson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was skeptical about reading this book because I am as far from a hopeless romantic as they come. I love Waylon Lewis though and the things he does for the world so I dove in. I was definitely not disappointed. Waylon is a hopeless romantic but he's also a realist. He combines longing, independence, hopelessness, hopefulness, sacrifice, the power of loves (all different types) through different seasons of one's life in a beautiful way. His desire to make the world better and to encourage others to is heroic. A book that I will pick up again and again in different seasons of my life.

Endless quotes but the one I haven't been able to let escape from my brain:

"A life of gentle smiles in all weathers"

[Kate Haugen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that dedicates itself to exploring love. I personally toggled between going through things I would like to do with loved ones who have passed and things I would like to do with my love. A delicate balance of pain and pleasure, which is how I would describe how love feels. Occasionally I was reminded the author was in fact a man when I would come across a misogynistic line, but for the most part I felt that the few eye rolls this book caused me were no comparison to the overarching joy I had reading it.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heartwarming and heartbreaking journey through life's most gift: love!

I adored this book, the moments of clarity it offers, the notion that we are all searching for someone to simply share life with and the fact that yes moments of loneliness are unavoidable opportunities for growth and healing and joy.

[Margarida · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of a few stories about love. I like to read this book out loud because it sounds like poetry to me and I imagine when I find Love, the one this book is about, I'll read them these stories. This book is about the kind of love our generation yearns for. This book is lovely from the inside out, the prettiest one on the shelf.

[Mary Pilling · Rating 5 out of 5]

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. This book was absolutely magical. Perhaps it is because of the place I am at in life but it reminded me that I can love and not be loved and that is still beautiful. It reminded me that love can end but if you experienced love then you had so much beauty for however long and that is beautiful. “It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.” ~Lumineers

[Katie Wasserman · Rating 3 out of 5]

i started off this book rolling my eyes hard core about the white man preaching about love. but as i went on i found some of the words very beautiful and a cool way to think about love— both active and yearning. i never read poetry so this was fun. overall, glad i read it.

[A L · Rating 5 out of 5]

It blew me away to experience romantic relationships through a lens of such care and reverence. Highly recommend for anyone searching for a deeper connection, understanding, or meaning in the way they interact with those who touch their lives.