The Dykonic Handbook: The ultimate guide to living your best queer life

by Amy Spalding

Calling all dykes, divas and non-binary cuties!

Are you familiar

The difference between a black cat and a golden retriever lesbian?
How to tell if she's flirting or just giving you a compliment?
Why a £950 pair of Diesel boots alone does not make you a 'diesel dyke'? (Something Amy learned the hard way.)

If not, don't worry, as luckily breakout star of BBC's I Kissed a Girl – and everyone's favourite lesbian big sister – Amy Spalding is on hand to answer all these queer conundrums and more, to help you to live, laugh and love all things lesbian.

This book covers everything you need to live your best sapphic life; such as finding community, dating, and navigating breakups; as well as running through queer terminology, how to look the part and key cultural touchstones.

Featuring stories from Amy's own gloriously messy journey, heartfelt advice from sapphic elders, and answers to the most burning FAQs from her followers, this book is for anyone at any stage of their queerness.

Whether you're newly questioning, proudly out, or somewhere deliciously in between, this is the ultimate guide to becoming absolutely DYKONIC, daaarling.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Audiobook

192 pages, Hardcover

Published August 18, 2026

Reviews

[Vera]

Amy Spalding, the woman you are.

The whole world needs to know just how funny and incredibly likable Amy is. We had the pleasure of interviewing her for our podcast, and it is so amazing to see how she uses her platform as a role model! This book is perfect for baby lesbians. Love from Amsterdam! ❤️

[Marlou]

Amy, darling, be so proud of this! Absolutely love and would highly recommend this to anyone and everyone! Such a great mix of humor and insightful information, fully slayed that :) Can't wait to see what you do next, know you've got a place in Amsterdam whenever you want!!!! Go read this besties! Now!

[Robin Bernhart]

Read this book in 2 or 3 sittings! I’ve loved Amy Spalding from the second she walked into my screen on IKAG, with her iconic boots and charming personality.
I was hyped when I found out she wrote a book, and ordered it immediatly.

It’s cool that she wrote a handbook from a, her words, “queer big sister” POV. I also liked that she didn’t pretend to know it all; instead, she encourages the reader to read more about queer history and even includes a list of sources to find said queer history.

I haven’t been a baby queer for a loooong time, and I found myself laughing out loud at some parts and nodding along to some phrases. But still, I learnt some new things, too!

The book is written in a light, humorous tone and it made it an absolute joy to read.
I would definitely recommend this book to any queer woman and non binary person who wishes to read more about wlw.

Thank you, Amy, for writing this book, from a 30-something woman who wishes she’d had this book when she was younger.

[carys]

ms boots wrote a book! very fun and silly but also lightly delves into some serious stuff surrounding lgbt history. i’m so glad media like this exists for young queers n the future generations. IKAG u will always be famous 💝

[Francesca Larkin]

yes queen so fun would’ve loved something like this when i was little

[Micki]

the big sister I needed growing up (even tho we’re the same age)!!!!!! honestly this was still so lovely to read now and I even learned some new terms and historical facts :) also was immediately hooked on page two after the mention of 2015 lesbian youtube. you just had to be there

[Esmé Van Tol]

she’s a dykon, she’s a lezzend (lezza legend) and she is the homoment

[Niamh Gallagher]

I flew through this in one sitting and honestly, my only complaint is that I wish it had been longer.

Amy Spalding has found the perfect balance between celebrating LGBTQ+ history and acknowledging the challenges our community still faces today, all whilst writing with so much warmth, humour and heart. It felt informative without ever feeling heavy!

As a twenty-something lesbian, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much younger me would’ve needed this book. I genuinely think reading something like this ten years ago would’ve made me feel a little less alone and a lot more proud of who I am.

More than anything, this book reminded me just how powerful it can be to use your voice for good. It’s hopeful, empowering and such an important read.

Whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or simply want to learn more, I’d definitely recommend picking this one up!

[Jazmyn]

TEN OUT OF TEN DARLING.

this book is so important for any young sapphic or curious person, as well as ally’s! the book touches on crucial queer history, to give new community members an easy place to start when delving into deeper research on LGBTQIA+ history and icons. it can be daunting at first, but this amy does an incredible job of explaining queer concepts and terminology in a educating and hilarious way.

you can’t be what you can’t see, and i’m GAGGING to see more sapphic books and media in the mainstream.

LETS GO LESBIANS

🫶🪻🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⭐️📚✨👩🏻‍🦰👩‍❤️‍👩👢💍

[rose]

I couldn’t put it down! Amy has produced THE perfect handbook, here an ingenious balance of hard hitting historical and contemporary struggles meets wit carried by a standalone narrative voice. The book is like a hug from the older sister so many of us wished for, or didn’t even know we needed! I’m already curating my list of people to hand it down through, it’s truly a light in a scary and confusing world 💐

[Lara Marie]

very dykonic

[samara]

Yes, five stars is a very high rating, but I think it’s perfectly accurate. Am I slightly biased because I’m a lesbian, potentially, but I haven’t enjoyed a piece of non-fiction like this in a while. I took my time with it because I just didn’t want it to end! Amy is able to provide a LGBTQ+ inclusive education & understanding by using history, literature, and personal experience; not to mention that the humour throughout was brilliant. I think it takes a lot to be able to merge a comprehensive knowledge of society’s perspectives on queer rights in the 21st century while also keeping it light. A tough act to follow!

[Brooke Wingren]

The book I needed as a baby gay! It provides the perfect amount of history, humor and community. <3 Although it barely scratched the surface as a “handbook,” Amy made it perfect. I’ve been following her since the show, “I Kissed a Girl” came out in 2024. I’m so happy it’s airing another season after the backlash they received from the initial cancelation. Visibility matters!

[Emily Catherine]

So fun!!

I would have looooved to have had something like this when I first came out. A lot of the info was a little obvious, even for someone who is new to the queer scene, but there were some fun insights too. I especially liked the section about lesbian fashion.

I really loved the illustrations. Gorgeous!

Thanks Bloomsbury Creator Circle for sending me a copy 🫶

[Olivia Hughes]

I really enjoyed the conversational tone to the book - a great way to get back into reading. I would have loved something like this when I was younger. I wish it had included the difference between Fem and Femme in the key queer terminology chapter. Highly recommend reading - would love more to come of this!

[Riley Tubb]

The book I needed when I was just a baby dyke trying to navigate this big queer world. Incredibly funny and gorgeously sweet. I recommend to all sapphics out there regardless of how long you’ve been out! This has only deepened my obsession for Amy Spalding. Incredibly Dykonic indeed xox

[Cass]

Perfect in every way.

[Boba]

The audiobook was fab. I wish it was longer tho

[Reader]

One of the best books I have read !! definitely recommend!!

[Sara M.]

I can only give this 5 stars because I loooove Amy. Thank you for everything you do and I just wish I had a book like this growing up!

[Bridget]

I ❤️ Amy Spaulding- she’ll forever be the dykon from season 1 of I kissed a girl !

Listened to the audiobook on the way to St Ives and honestly just shits and gigs :))) Lesbians rise up !!

[Liv Cornelius]

A nice introductory guide. Would have loved this ten years ago! Although saying that, there were a couple of history lessons in this that I didn’t know, which I enjoyed!

[paula]

you even call it dykonic

[Jess]

As a lil (later in life) lesbian, this is the book I needed to catch up on 15 years of missed knowledge. Was lucky enough to go to one of the launch shows, Amy your THE dykcon darling!

[Abby Busis]

ms boots you’ve done it again

[kelly]

i knew pretty much all the information in the book but i think it’d def be nice for people just coming out! i mostly just listened to the audio book because i love amy :) it was fun!

[Zoë Doreen]

Amy you should be so proud of yourself!
Would recommend this book 1000%
The humor but also the education, the history her own journey.

[stressy]

I would have loved to have read this when I was a confused little baby queer 🥲

[Oak Gookey]

Iconic fr

[Trix Van pelt]

3,5⭐️