The Land Before Tim

Caverns and Creatures #short

by Robert Bevan, Joan Reginaldo (Editor)

Hold on to your butts. Tim and the gang are up to their elbows in dinos, drugs, and dwarves.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor

78 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 23, 2015

Reviews

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining fantasy listening 😐🤓

This kindle ebook novella is from my Kindle Unlimited account

The boys have ended up on an island where it is like they have stepped back in time. They are looking for a way home when it is in front of them.

I would recommend this series and author to readers of fantasy world 🌐 horror adventure thriller novels 😕😯 2025 🎶😈

[Christina Heath · Rating 1 out of 5]

Short, trite, repetitive.

The gags were gag-inducing. Most of the "funny" moments were so stupid that my thoughts during this entire book were "why bother writing this?"

[Erik Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Land Before Tim is easily the funniest short story I have ever read. Robert Bevan doesn't just poke fun at fantasy tropes. He grabs them by the tail, spins them around, and hurls them into a pit of crude humor, absurd logic, and glorious idiocy.
This entry in the Caverns and Creatures universe is a masterclass in comedic timing. The characters are delightfully dysfunctional, the dialogue is unfiltered and hysterical, and the plot is a fever dream of dinosaur mayhem and tabletop chaos. Imagine your drunk D&D group trying to survive Jurassic Park with zero survival skills and negative wisdom modifiers.
Bevan's writing is unapologetically vulgar, but beneath the fart jokes and profanity is a sharp wit and a deep love for the genre he is skewering. If you have ever rolled a natural 1 and laughed until you cried, this story is for you.
Finally, a dinosaur story that respects no one.

[Bonnie Dale Keck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kindle Unlimited, the writer definitely isn't 'right' but he is on ku, a few binge readings were in my future.

d6 (Caverns and Creatures collection 1)
Cave of the Kobolds - ZOMBIE ATTACK!!! - Orcs, Bears, and Assholes - Shipfaced - Dungeon Crawl - The Creep on the Borderlands
2d6 (Caverns and Creatures collection 2)
Nymph-O-Maniacs- Buzzkill - Cooper's Christmas Carol - Sticky White Mess - Clerical Error - Cornholed
3d6 (Caverns and Creatures collection 3)
House of Madness - Naga Please - Elf Inflicted - The Land Before Tim - A Fistful of Gold Pieces - The Minotard

4d6 (Caverns and Creatures collection 4)
Djinngle Bells - Genital Harpies - The Unwashed Asses - B.Oar Guests - Wight Trash - Probing the Annis

Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1 - 4)
Critical Failures (Caverns and Creatures Book 1) Critical Failures II (Caverns and Creatures Book 2) Critical Failures III (Caverns and Creatures Book 3) Critical Failures IV (Caverns and Creatures Book 4)

Space Puppies
Flying Toasters - The DeadPixel Tales {one of collection of writers, seems to be permafree}

Check with amazon to see if the 4 pack is still on sale, etc, I got it for 99, the 4 books listed above titled separately under the set. The smaller collections are listed on top of which this one is the 3rd collection {of 6 stories} with the titles listed for this and the others those since covering the mini collections here. I read the 4 pack, then the collections, in order, not totally sure it would matter with this genre, do suggest personally that the 4 set then the smaller collections be read in order, it did help in most cases.

Writer does list and say if you have the 3d6 {#3 collection} not need to re/read individual stories listed as are the same stories as in the collection. It's why I just got the sets and still my opinion to read in order and in sets which is easier anyway. Last checked the entire 6 set{s} was available on ku, so no need to pull up multiple books and no need to worry about order at all. Again, 3d6 (Caverns and Creatures collection 3) , see above for titles and order, but this one is is part of a 6 collection called #3 this one is 4 of #3. Not sure if the story made me think Crichton and Jurassic Park or crickey what is the writer on, but I can be flexible for a good read.

[John Lester · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick laugh out loud read. I kept stopping to re-read and laughing all the harder.

[z3r0 c00l]

03/23/20 -
03/23/18

[Onionboy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't believe how crude and vulgar this was. Admittedly I may not be the target audience for this, but I can't imagine anyone publicly admitting that they ARE the target audience for this kind of stuff. I only read it because ALL the reviews on Amazon were 5 stars. I'd give it negative stars if I could. I want my time back from reading this.

It's not that I'm a prude; I have no problem with coarse language or humor when it contributes to the story. But there is no story here, just an opportunity for the author to show how low he can go and how frequently in so few pages.

The author has talent for writing, but seems to be wasting his talent in the gutter. Make sure this is the kind of book you want to spend your time on. I will not be reading anything else from this author.

[Krista Galhouse Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this while I was also reading Jurassic Park, that made it even better! I laughed out loud more to this than I care to admit. This was one of my favorite shorts thank to that. Another fun installment of the C&C universe. I highly suggest getting the 3d6 audiobook to listen to it. Can't wait for more!

[A.K. Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is left to say?

Robert Bevan is a genius! He's as twisted as a sapling in a hurricane but an absolute genius when it comes to writing the funniest, most irreverent stories about the most unlikable characters in the history of the written word.

[geoffrey c glowacki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first short story I've read after the Critical Failures series and I just can't seem to get enough. Home Run.

[Shawn Mcvay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. Not for sensitive readers.

[Colby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may have been the funniest short in the C&C universe yet. I laughed out loud at my desk enough that the other people in my office wanted to know what I was reading. Well done, Mr. Bevan.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshingly immature.