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Not One Of Them: A Story of Adoption, Alcoholism and Abuse
“I despise you Judith Ann, I curse the day we adopted you and your brother! We owe you nothing because you are nothing,” said Mother as saliva pooled at the corners of her mouth.
She began to recklessly punch her daughter about the face and head, that unprovoked outburst, resulted from nothing other than seeing her young 7 year old daughter in 'her' home. Exasperated as Mother was almost every single day.
“Go ahead say it Judith Ann,” and with that my clue was given, “I know Mother, I know I deserve nothing because I am nothing, and I am worth even less than that.”
I said it as vehemently as one tells a child they're loved. My older adopted brother Jimmy, was in for it next. Although Mother never quite gave it to him in the same way. That didn't mean Jim was off the hook, for that same evening Father would begin his violent alcohol induced rages that may land him bleeding and slumped in the corner of his own bedroom.
That was only the beginning of that evening’s terror because on many nights, Father would come to me next... This was our life, for no more than after we were adopted as mere babies, Mother went on to have two biological children, her beloved son and daughter. The doctor's admonition that conception would never occur, was certainly incorrect. Jim and I spent a lifetime paying for that physician's transgression.
Judy's physical damage required over 10 surgeries to repair 'years old' bodily damage discovered in early adulthood where doctor upon doctor inquired, “how did this happen, who did this to you!”
Unfortunately for Jimmy, a once bright and gifted straight A student, life since age 18 has him confined to mental facilities/ group home settings, never having the ability to live on his own. This is due to Jim's violent propensity to lash out in society, copying the abhorrent behavior Father unleashed at him for some thirteen plus years.
If the emotional and physical torture went on through the childrens’ late teenage years, that would be tragic enough! However, what sets this story apart is Mother and Father's extreme self-righteous belief that in exchange for adopting them, a lifetime of repayment is required. Well into adulthood, with a cult like prevailing attitude Judy seeks to constantly pay them back- physically, emotionally and monetarily. Yet it is never enough as her own Mother seeks to destroy her oldest daughter's life.
For these two children were despised, hated and came close to death throughout their lifetime, too many times to recall. For in this story- like no other out there, the age of adult children make no matter when parents want pay back for legally adopting. For nowhere will one find such a shocking look at an unbelievable attempt at survival.
“Not One of Them: A story of Adoption, Alcoholism and Abuse" is the chilling true story of Judy Baldaccini, a little girl who went through hell, and not only survived, but became a stronger person because of it.
She began to recklessly punch her daughter about the face and head, that unprovoked outburst, resulted from nothing other than seeing her young 7 year old daughter in 'her' home. Exasperated as Mother was almost every single day.
“Go ahead say it Judith Ann,” and with that my clue was given, “I know Mother, I know I deserve nothing because I am nothing, and I am worth even less than that.”
I said it as vehemently as one tells a child they're loved. My older adopted brother Jimmy, was in for it next. Although Mother never quite gave it to him in the same way. That didn't mean Jim was off the hook, for that same evening Father would begin his violent alcohol induced rages that may land him bleeding and slumped in the corner of his own bedroom.
That was only the beginning of that evening’s terror because on many nights, Father would come to me next... This was our life, for no more than after we were adopted as mere babies, Mother went on to have two biological children, her beloved son and daughter. The doctor's admonition that conception would never occur, was certainly incorrect. Jim and I spent a lifetime paying for that physician's transgression.
Judy's physical damage required over 10 surgeries to repair 'years old' bodily damage discovered in early adulthood where doctor upon doctor inquired, “how did this happen, who did this to you!”
Unfortunately for Jimmy, a once bright and gifted straight A student, life since age 18 has him confined to mental facilities/ group home settings, never having the ability to live on his own. This is due to Jim's violent propensity to lash out in society, copying the abhorrent behavior Father unleashed at him for some thirteen plus years.
If the emotional and physical torture went on through the childrens’ late teenage years, that would be tragic enough! However, what sets this story apart is Mother and Father's extreme self-righteous belief that in exchange for adopting them, a lifetime of repayment is required. Well into adulthood, with a cult like prevailing attitude Judy seeks to constantly pay them back- physically, emotionally and monetarily. Yet it is never enough as her own Mother seeks to destroy her oldest daughter's life.
For these two children were despised, hated and came close to death throughout their lifetime, too many times to recall. For in this story- like no other out there, the age of adult children make no matter when parents want pay back for legally adopting. For nowhere will one find such a shocking look at an unbelievable attempt at survival.
“Not One of Them: A story of Adoption, Alcoholism and Abuse" is the chilling true story of Judy Baldaccini, a little girl who went through hell, and not only survived, but became a stronger person because of it.
268 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 27, 2013
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957 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 4, 2014
Not One of Them is the second book I have read which carries the theme of child abuse. It is a retelling of the author’s first-hand experiences of adoption and child abuse. Although not stated, as a reader and as you go on reading until the last pages of the book, it will become clear that more than unloading the painful secrets kept for how long, the why behind the publication of this book is to inform and establish awareness with regard to the reality and gravity of the existence of child abuse. Mothers, fathers, people who ran orphanages, the government, teachers, religious people, and medical practitioners could make good audience for this book. It is my assumption that these people are mature enough to read through the pages and withhold judgment until they are done reading.
I don’t think anyone could ever relay a child abuse story in a formal way. The author utilizes both formal and informal styles but the latter is more prevalent. To evaluate the quality of the writing style based on coherence, development, smoothness, and forcefulness, the author falls short on the first three points. Baldaccini has the tendency to get ahead of the story thereby spoiling thrill for the readers. It is also because of this that the story becomes not fully developed and sometimes incoherent. The transitions used are inconsistent which makes chapters jumping from one point then back to previous points then goes forward. But acknowledging the author’s unintentional publishing of what initially served as her notes/diaries, as a reader, I understood where the jagged flow and incoherence are coming from. Yes, reading the book is similar to reading a very personal diary (but with the owner’s consent). As for forcefulness, both the story and theme have passed this particular standard but barely. The book would have been really forceful if the author is able to provide a good generalization of her story, something that would tell readers this is more than just retelling of a hideous past. Anyhow, regardless of the inconsistencies the author’s writing style, it cannot be discounted that the story is substantial.
My first ‘child abuse read’ has been David Pelzer’s A Child Called ‘It’. With this, I expected something more from Not One of Them but that is solely my lapse as a reader. Each story is different and even the manner of telling the story differs. Not One of Them not only talks about child-abuse but also the cruel realities and possibilities after adoption papers are released and babies and kids to be adopted are given to their foster parents.
It’s hard not to get affected by the book. A lot of times I found myself questioning Judy’s decisions. Her character is a mix of strong and weak. Too strong to endure how many years of abuse yet too weak to put an end to all of it. The value of acceptance is not something to be downplayed. To others, it could mean everything. It took Judy a long time to finally reconcile with herself that acceptance is not something she has to seek from others but from herself. And even at the end of the story, the love and acceptance [of her foster parents and siblings] she patiently and ridiculously waited and suffered for didn’t get back to her.
At the last chapter of the book, although readers are not given the happily-ever-after they may have hoped for, the author is, however, able to summarize the most important realization she has from everything that happened to her: “And in all I’ve done – my lifetime of doing and giving, pleasing and repaying them, the fact is I never owed any of it. A child never ‘owes’ a parent (s) anything, because everything we do… we do in the name of love. That is, of course, unless there isn’t any.”
Overall, notwithstanding the shortcomings the book may have, YES, Not One of Them is still worth reading and recommending!
I don’t think anyone could ever relay a child abuse story in a formal way. The author utilizes both formal and informal styles but the latter is more prevalent. To evaluate the quality of the writing style based on coherence, development, smoothness, and forcefulness, the author falls short on the first three points. Baldaccini has the tendency to get ahead of the story thereby spoiling thrill for the readers. It is also because of this that the story becomes not fully developed and sometimes incoherent. The transitions used are inconsistent which makes chapters jumping from one point then back to previous points then goes forward. But acknowledging the author’s unintentional publishing of what initially served as her notes/diaries, as a reader, I understood where the jagged flow and incoherence are coming from. Yes, reading the book is similar to reading a very personal diary (but with the owner’s consent). As for forcefulness, both the story and theme have passed this particular standard but barely. The book would have been really forceful if the author is able to provide a good generalization of her story, something that would tell readers this is more than just retelling of a hideous past. Anyhow, regardless of the inconsistencies the author’s writing style, it cannot be discounted that the story is substantial.
My first ‘child abuse read’ has been David Pelzer’s A Child Called ‘It’. With this, I expected something more from Not One of Them but that is solely my lapse as a reader. Each story is different and even the manner of telling the story differs. Not One of Them not only talks about child-abuse but also the cruel realities and possibilities after adoption papers are released and babies and kids to be adopted are given to their foster parents.
It’s hard not to get affected by the book. A lot of times I found myself questioning Judy’s decisions. Her character is a mix of strong and weak. Too strong to endure how many years of abuse yet too weak to put an end to all of it. The value of acceptance is not something to be downplayed. To others, it could mean everything. It took Judy a long time to finally reconcile with herself that acceptance is not something she has to seek from others but from herself. And even at the end of the story, the love and acceptance [of her foster parents and siblings] she patiently and ridiculously waited and suffered for didn’t get back to her.
At the last chapter of the book, although readers are not given the happily-ever-after they may have hoped for, the author is, however, able to summarize the most important realization she has from everything that happened to her: “And in all I’ve done – my lifetime of doing and giving, pleasing and repaying them, the fact is I never owed any of it. A child never ‘owes’ a parent (s) anything, because everything we do… we do in the name of love. That is, of course, unless there isn’t any.”
Overall, notwithstanding the shortcomings the book may have, YES, Not One of Them is still worth reading and recommending!
February 28, 2014
I received this book as part of Goodreads Giveaways.
I did not particularly like this book as "a book." As a woman's need to get her story out and as part of her healing process, I'm glad that she wrote it. It is clear that she is still and will forever suffer the wounds that her parents' engraved within her, and it is completely tragic.
There are many problems with this book that should have been corrected before publication, most notably the editing errors. There are grammatical errors on almost every page. The book itself is read as like a diary, with rambling thoughts and repetitive stories. The author tends to jump ahead of herself and frequently writes "but that's later in the story."
I believe this book would have been more effective if it was written like a story, perhaps first person point of view to really get the emotions. I would get rid a lot of the rationalizing such as "I never did anything wrong" or "Jackie never got abused and I did." I understand that these statements were made due to the fact that it was probably constantly on the author's mind - I mean, how could it not? But there is hardly a flowing story here, as it is all over the place. She attempts to organize the story into bits of her life, but then jumps to adult tales, or in reverse.
This book felt a bit rushed, but I did like the bit at the end questioning the adoption system. The author manages to get her point across, and her story definitely needs to be read as it is absolutely horrific. I could not possibly imagine what she went through, and I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to her. The therapist was right in telling her that it wasn't her fault. There was something wrong with the parents, not her. It was never about her.
I did not particularly like this book as "a book." As a woman's need to get her story out and as part of her healing process, I'm glad that she wrote it. It is clear that she is still and will forever suffer the wounds that her parents' engraved within her, and it is completely tragic.
There are many problems with this book that should have been corrected before publication, most notably the editing errors. There are grammatical errors on almost every page. The book itself is read as like a diary, with rambling thoughts and repetitive stories. The author tends to jump ahead of herself and frequently writes "but that's later in the story."
I believe this book would have been more effective if it was written like a story, perhaps first person point of view to really get the emotions. I would get rid a lot of the rationalizing such as "I never did anything wrong" or "Jackie never got abused and I did." I understand that these statements were made due to the fact that it was probably constantly on the author's mind - I mean, how could it not? But there is hardly a flowing story here, as it is all over the place. She attempts to organize the story into bits of her life, but then jumps to adult tales, or in reverse.
This book felt a bit rushed, but I did like the bit at the end questioning the adoption system. The author manages to get her point across, and her story definitely needs to be read as it is absolutely horrific. I could not possibly imagine what she went through, and I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to her. The therapist was right in telling her that it wasn't her fault. There was something wrong with the parents, not her. It was never about her.
November 21, 2013
Review of Not One Of Them , by Judy Baldaccini
The authors real life experiences of abuse, survival, and redemption is powerfully and vividly told in this story.Her story of abuse in an alcoholic household is one of the most severe I have heard of.In reading about the extreme abuse that the author suffered at the hands of her adopted parents, you could visually and emotinally place yourself in the picture that the author created.Both her past and her present were vividly illustrated with her words. In her suffering ,the author is able to tell her story in a way that can hopefully save another child or help another survivor of abuse.
I will note that while reading this story, you are fully aware that the author is somewhat new to writing. There are many repetitive phrases, and some stories are told repeatedly. It should be noted, however, that the story truly feels authentic, as if you are on the journey of redemption with the author, and she was writing as memories came to mind. While reading this, you feel like she is not only telling her life experience, but she is healing, and you are a part of it.
The authors real life experiences of abuse, survival, and redemption is powerfully and vividly told in this story.Her story of abuse in an alcoholic household is one of the most severe I have heard of.In reading about the extreme abuse that the author suffered at the hands of her adopted parents, you could visually and emotinally place yourself in the picture that the author created.Both her past and her present were vividly illustrated with her words. In her suffering ,the author is able to tell her story in a way that can hopefully save another child or help another survivor of abuse.
I will note that while reading this story, you are fully aware that the author is somewhat new to writing. There are many repetitive phrases, and some stories are told repeatedly. It should be noted, however, that the story truly feels authentic, as if you are on the journey of redemption with the author, and she was writing as memories came to mind. While reading this, you feel like she is not only telling her life experience, but she is healing, and you are a part of it.
May 11, 2014
What a story!!!
I just wonder whatever happened to this family? why isn't CNN or some other news channel covering this? maybe some verification would be needed.
I just wonder whatever happened to this family? why isn't CNN or some other news channel covering this? maybe some verification would be needed.
April 8, 2014
Heart wrenching triumph
This story is one of the hardest (emotionally) and gripping autobiographies I have ever read. I couldn't put it down. I cried heart wrenching tearing and finished with celebrating Judy's ability to overcome. I am going to search and see if Ms. Baldaccini has written a follow up novel on her recent life. I pray that this amazing woman has been able to actualize her life goals: a home that she owns, become a foster parent, stayed away permanently from her adopted family (if she ever finds out that they read her story and their reaction), does her family ever see the wrongs in their actions, does her ex_husband ever know Judy's story and grow to be a better person? I have so many questions I hope Judy has continued her story or will at some point. After knowing all that she has overcome I would personally love to know that she is going well now. Either way, I recommend this book to everyone. Thank Ms. Baldaccini for sharing your story I want to be a better person by reading it. The fact that you always tried to be the better person when facing incredible pain should make anyone reflect on how they face their day to day challenges. Lastly your words on showing random acts/words of kindness with strangers has truly struck a chord in me and I intend on following your lead in my own life. I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your story.
This story is one of the hardest (emotionally) and gripping autobiographies I have ever read. I couldn't put it down. I cried heart wrenching tearing and finished with celebrating Judy's ability to overcome. I am going to search and see if Ms. Baldaccini has written a follow up novel on her recent life. I pray that this amazing woman has been able to actualize her life goals: a home that she owns, become a foster parent, stayed away permanently from her adopted family (if she ever finds out that they read her story and their reaction), does her family ever see the wrongs in their actions, does her ex_husband ever know Judy's story and grow to be a better person? I have so many questions I hope Judy has continued her story or will at some point. After knowing all that she has overcome I would personally love to know that she is going well now. Either way, I recommend this book to everyone. Thank Ms. Baldaccini for sharing your story I want to be a better person by reading it. The fact that you always tried to be the better person when facing incredible pain should make anyone reflect on how they face their day to day challenges. Lastly your words on showing random acts/words of kindness with strangers has truly struck a chord in me and I intend on following your lead in my own life. I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your story.
February 8, 2014
I think this has the potential of being a good read after some proofing and organizing. It was difficult to really get into because of these issues. With that said, I was horrified that anyone would treat their children, adopted or not, in the manner described in the book. I could tell how deeply affected the author was on every page.
December 30, 2013
I had a difficult time getting involved with the story as often it was repetitive and I couldn't clearly follow due to it jumping around. I think the important piece is that the author was able to use this as a piece of her recovery from the terrible abuse she suffered.
January 16, 2014
Couldn't put it down
I cannot believe how horrible these parents were to their adopted children. It saddens me that no one ever stepped in for the children to stop the adult bullies. The author tells her story while very sad tells it beautifully.
I cannot believe how horrible these parents were to their adopted children. It saddens me that no one ever stepped in for the children to stop the adult bullies. The author tells her story while very sad tells it beautifully.
January 29, 2014
I have read many memoirs on these topics. This was tough to read, literally. It was very repetitive, disorganized and rambling. If it helped the author to put her words down on paper than I am glad she wrote it. Her's is truly a tragic story. I just wish some editing had been done.
April 14, 2014
Wow
The author of this book has been through it all. Turned to God and never lost hope. Over came all she went through and stayed strong. I loved it and to Mrs. Baldaccini I tip my hat to you and just have one word for you AMAZING
The author of this book has been through it all. Turned to God and never lost hope. Over came all she went through and stayed strong. I loved it and to Mrs. Baldaccini I tip my hat to you and just have one word for you AMAZING
April 16, 2014
Could not finish this book
I could not finish this book because of the reputation. same thing said over and over. half way through I gave up. it was like reading the same page over and over. was making me very frustrated.
I could not finish this book because of the reputation. same thing said over and over. half way through I gave up. it was like reading the same page over and over. was making me very frustrated.
June 10, 2017
Wow what a story! Very insightful I learned a lot thanks.
Yes this true story may be hard to read but to have lived through it I am thankful you were able to share it. Thanks for helping me understand what pain abuse can cause.
Yes this true story may be hard to read but to have lived through it I am thankful you were able to share it. Thanks for helping me understand what pain abuse can cause.
December 16, 2013
Insight to a world many don't understand
It has it's highs and lows. But all in all it is an easy read. A good book if you are interested in the subject
It has it's highs and lows. But all in all it is an easy read. A good book if you are interested in the subject
March 9, 2014
A harrowing tale of abuse and survival. A very poignant read.
January 5, 2015
I didn't finished this book .....
April 6, 2015
I'm curious about where JP & Jackie were in all this. They must have seen that their sister was treated so different. People are so ignorant and stupid.
February 11, 2015
I've read a lot of this type of book and while I found it distressing how people can treat people like dirt . This book didn't grab me like others have done . Still quite a good read
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews