Not the Perfect Victim: My Fight for Survival, Truth and Justice

by Nikita Hand

December, 2018. The aftermath of a night of revelry. The promise of a party. And then, a journey into darkness that would change the course of Nikita Hand's life - as she endured a brutal assault where she believed she would die.
Here, in her own words, Nikita tells her unforgettable story. From the bleak days that followed, reeling in shock and fear, to the long hours as she gave her Garda statement, trusting the truth would be enough. Then months holding her breath, only to discover there would be no prosecution.

When she took the decision that would define her future, Nikita Hand stepped into the glare of a civil case against one of the world's most powerful athletes, Conor McGregor, knowing exactly what it would cost her - but certain she had no choice. Through panic attacks, sleepless nights, a terrifying home invasion that shattered any remaining sense of safety, she kept going. On into the courtroom, where she faced her perpetrator at arm's length - and spent four gruelling days in the witness box. The judgment would make headlines. The backlash would nearly break her.

Not the Perfect Victim is the electrifying, courageous story of a woman reclaiming her power. An account of survival, defiance and the hard-won rebuilding of a life no one could take from her.

Genres: Memoir

367 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 22, 2026

Reviews

[Nicola Bardon]

An incredible story of bravery, told in the most honest way.
An insight into the Irish justice system but also globally how women are treated worse as victims than the men who carry out the acts.
Nikita's bravery against this weasal is incredible and I wish her a lifetime of peace.

[Martina Quirke]

Everyone needs to read this book. Even better than reading the book is listening to the audiobook!

Such a harrowing story but so worth the read, a story that gripped more than just the country of Ireland but half the world. The story of an underdog fighting back against a man that would have you believe is larger than life.

The story of a normal person, a working mom, out on her Christmas party that turned into the most traumatic event. One woman’s fight for justice, for herself, her family and for other women she has never met going through similar situations. I couldn’t put it down and will definitely read it again and recommend to friends.

[Niall Hetherington]

Audible Version. There's a certain cohort that have a certain view of Nikita Hand and her version of events in December 2018. No part of me has any interest in trying to entertain their point of view so take notice from here this review is based upon the assumption that you believe Ms Hand's claims and in turn the outcome of the trial.
The most hotly debated topic amongst the general public, even from credible non-bottom feeding persons, is regarding Nikita Hand's conduct on the night in question. Be it the decision to initiate contact, the decision to stay/return at the premises, the ambiguity around engagement with others etc - it became a grotesque public trial alongside the civil one that had just been carried out. That is one of the main reasons that I pre-ordered this book as soon as I could, I wanted to hear exactly what it is - her story in her words from the very beginning.
I know that a co-writer was involved here, as with most bios, but I really want to praise the prose, it is excellent throughout and really helps to convey a very serious story in a clear and serious manner. Couple that with the fact that many details withheld from the jury are elaborated on and the fact that Hand is not afraid to hold a mirror to herself and her actions then and since really helps make this required reading/listening anyone who took even half an interest in the trial, essential reading/ listening for anyone with even half an interest in a story of hard fought justice and should be mandatory reading/ listening for many, many people within our society.

[Corinne]

🎧 Just finished this on audio, and hearing Nikita’s story in her own words was incredibly powerful.
For anyone who doubts her motives or what happened, I would urge you to hear her story before forming an opinion. What played out in the media is only the tip of the iceberg — and let’s face it, it’s the media!
I thought I knew most of what had happened, but the book is so detailed, and hearing everything in Nikita’s own words really drives home the effects a case like this can have. Even more so when you’re going up against someone who is a well-known public figure, and the case gains the attention of not only Ireland but the wider world.
I just struggle to comprehend how everything played out. Hearing the full story left me with so many questions, and knowing that he is a free man is something I find incredibly difficult to understand.
This was a difficult but incredibly powerful listen, and one I won’t forget anytime soon.

[Gayle]

Unexpected great Conor McGregor impression from the audio book narrator.

[Louise Mullins]

It's awful what Nikita went through and it's obvious it has had a lasting impact on her, both socially and economically, I just struggle to understand how that pos is still walking the street! I mean the evidence speaks for itself even without a civil lawsuit against him. Just goes to show money talks. Nikita is a brave strong independence woman and I pray she finds peace of mind, body, and spirit.

[Grace Ó Sé]

I try not to use the “i” word too often but I truly find Nikita and her story inspiring. This book brings you through the most traumatic, gruelling, cruel, frightening journey, yet the main thing I can’t stop thinking about is Nikita’s courage and grit. It’s hard to even comprehend in places. Something that I already knew, but something that this book confirmed for me…Nikita didn’t just push through for herself, she did it for all of us, all survivors, past present & future. To say thank you seems a bit underwhelming but nonetheless THANK YOU Nikita. We really do owe you a debt that we won’t be able to repay but are so, so grateful for 💜

[The Book Nook (Jennie)]

This is a really brave, powerful and incredibly honest book. Nikita shares her story with so much courage and sincerity, taking us through the reality of trauma, survival and what it means to find your voice again after someone has tried to shut it down.

It was very uncomfortable reading at times, a difficult read but ultimately, its an important one. It has already opened conversations and challenged perceptions among my own group of friends this week so I have no doubt its doing the same elsewhere.

Stories like Nikita's need to be told and we need to listen.

[Val O]

I haven't finished this book, but it's riveting, an easy read and well written.
I didn't know much about this case except from the media, but I can feel through the pages how harrowing this ordeal has been for her.
I hope the book does well for her.

[Sinead Hawk]

Overall , a much more comprehensive account of what happened. She really went through hell. This sounds not so important but I listened to the Audio book and the narrator drove me nuts when she was imitating Conor McGregors voice.

[Suzanne Mc]

An honest and brave account. The audiobook was fantastic. The reader does an amazing interpretation of his voice. I stand with Nikita Hand.

[Gemma Ryan]

Thanks for telling your story Nikita. Glad you got your justice. I hope you find your peace. 5*

[Nicola]

powerful

Thank you Nikita for not giving up. Mna na hEireann are a might bunch . Highly recommended for all to read