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Midmen: The Modern Man's Guide to Surviving Midlife Crisis
Eighty percent of modern, middle-aged men are having what is known as a midlife crisis. These men represent the highest concentration of wealth, the longest terms of unemployment and (drum roll please) the highest rate of suicide. They also represent over four million inappropriate gold stud earrings, seventeen billion individual hair transplants and eight thousand miles of hairy muffin top. These are the MIDMEN. The Modern Man's Guide to Surviving Midlife Crisis is more than just an informative self help book for a growing, if rapidly balding, generation. It is strong medicine dissolved into a spoonful of beer that men can easily digest. However, men are notoriously averse to buying self-help books and, because publishers know that, there isn't much out there. But they are the primary readers of humor books. Eureka. MIDMEN keeps the reader laughing as it spoon-feeds him genuine survival information. Covering areas as diverse as health, finance, family and death, MIDMEN leads its MIDMAN reader through an insidious series of sections and chapters that surreptitiously reinforce his sense of well being as he faces life's second half.
- GenresSelf Help
273 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 11, 2015
29 people are currently reading
17 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
January 8, 2022
A very humorous and informative look about mid life crisis.
I'll be 50 this year and turning 49 was difficult. Alot of regrets, missed opportunities, did I do the best raising my kids as a divorced dad, am I being the best husband now. The book is brutally honest and funny. Hopefully I walk away with some better antidotes to deal with this time in my life. Thanks Steve
I'll be 50 this year and turning 49 was difficult. Alot of regrets, missed opportunities, did I do the best raising my kids as a divorced dad, am I being the best husband now. The book is brutally honest and funny. Hopefully I walk away with some better antidotes to deal with this time in my life. Thanks Steve
February 13, 2020
Great read! Insightful and funny!
I needed this reality check and pick-up. Midlife is hitting hard, and he gave me some perspective and advice to hit back.
I needed this reality check and pick-up. Midlife is hitting hard, and he gave me some perspective and advice to hit back.
February 24, 2017
‘Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.’ - Tom Wilson
Author/comedian Steve Ochs has written three books – WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU, NATIONAL LAMPOON JOKES, JOKES, JOKES – in both the Collegiate Edition and the Verbal Abuse Edition. ‘A recovering stand up comic returned to the live stage after a seventeen-year break with “Life in the Middle Ages,” a one man show about midlife crisis for the Hollywood Fringe Fest. The show was named “Best of the Fest for Comedy” and enjoyed a critically praised extended run.’ Steve has also successfully written for television - Rugrats, Disney’s Recess, HBO’s Crashbox and other TV credits for Disney, ABC, Fox, Fox Family and Nickelodeon. Most recently, he served as co-executive producer and on air talent for Culture Click, which aired on ABC.
Much of the flavor of Steve’s book is captured in his opening paragraph – ‘I tried Viagra. The results were as shocking to me as they were to everyone else in the room. I have since tried it several more times, but less for shock than for awe. At some point I will have to switch from saying, “I tried Viagra” to “I use Viagra.” That time has not yet arrived, as I do not yet need Viagra. I can do just fine on my own. But having tried the stuff, I have learned an important lesson: I am an aging man. And what part of me would more quickly categorize me as a man, aging or otherwise, than my sex organ?’
And that is what this entire book is about – midlife crisis or the continuing decline of an aging man – told in a rambunctious manner that is utterly irresistible reading. For those conjoined with Steve in this age group the book will serve as a sigh of relief that someone can actually put in to words the journey towards ageism that without Steve’s brilliant sense of humor and rasty mouth can be viewed as a downhill run. Steve walks us through all of the embarrassing and frustrating moments of gradually dysfunction of the body and mind and we end up falling off the chair (not due to lack of posture control necessarily but out of imbalance with a jiggling belly laugh).
A note towards the end of the book – 'Throwing our best one liner as our last one liner is unlikely to occur if we’re not ending a life that has satisfied us. That can’t happen if we haven’t created a radius where the things that matter to us can thrive, or at least exist. If we MIDMAN-up, and are ballsy enough to confront the challenges that separate us from our true (read; not media created) desires, the Grim Reaper will have no choice but to give us a happy ending. (Not that kind. I think I’m done with you.)'
This is one terrific book – nurturing if you happen to be in midlife crisis stage and explanatory if you happen to be around or live with someone who is. Highly Recommended.
Author/comedian Steve Ochs has written three books – WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU, NATIONAL LAMPOON JOKES, JOKES, JOKES – in both the Collegiate Edition and the Verbal Abuse Edition. ‘A recovering stand up comic returned to the live stage after a seventeen-year break with “Life in the Middle Ages,” a one man show about midlife crisis for the Hollywood Fringe Fest. The show was named “Best of the Fest for Comedy” and enjoyed a critically praised extended run.’ Steve has also successfully written for television - Rugrats, Disney’s Recess, HBO’s Crashbox and other TV credits for Disney, ABC, Fox, Fox Family and Nickelodeon. Most recently, he served as co-executive producer and on air talent for Culture Click, which aired on ABC.
Much of the flavor of Steve’s book is captured in his opening paragraph – ‘I tried Viagra. The results were as shocking to me as they were to everyone else in the room. I have since tried it several more times, but less for shock than for awe. At some point I will have to switch from saying, “I tried Viagra” to “I use Viagra.” That time has not yet arrived, as I do not yet need Viagra. I can do just fine on my own. But having tried the stuff, I have learned an important lesson: I am an aging man. And what part of me would more quickly categorize me as a man, aging or otherwise, than my sex organ?’
And that is what this entire book is about – midlife crisis or the continuing decline of an aging man – told in a rambunctious manner that is utterly irresistible reading. For those conjoined with Steve in this age group the book will serve as a sigh of relief that someone can actually put in to words the journey towards ageism that without Steve’s brilliant sense of humor and rasty mouth can be viewed as a downhill run. Steve walks us through all of the embarrassing and frustrating moments of gradually dysfunction of the body and mind and we end up falling off the chair (not due to lack of posture control necessarily but out of imbalance with a jiggling belly laugh).
A note towards the end of the book – 'Throwing our best one liner as our last one liner is unlikely to occur if we’re not ending a life that has satisfied us. That can’t happen if we haven’t created a radius where the things that matter to us can thrive, or at least exist. If we MIDMAN-up, and are ballsy enough to confront the challenges that separate us from our true (read; not media created) desires, the Grim Reaper will have no choice but to give us a happy ending. (Not that kind. I think I’m done with you.)'
This is one terrific book – nurturing if you happen to be in midlife crisis stage and explanatory if you happen to be around or live with someone who is. Highly Recommended.
October 24, 2018
I've never met nor talked to Steve Ochs but encountered him years ago in his life as a stand-up comic. If you haven’t watched the YouTube film of him discussing his cat’s sex life, it’s not to be missed. Go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xb3kY...
Nor do you want to miss his MIDMEN booktrailer, a spoof interview by Edward R Murrow. See it here: http://www.midlifecrisisbook.com/watc...
Och’s book, MIDMEN: THE MODERN MAN’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING MIDLIFE CRISIS, is littered with humorous gems:
Re changing sex roles: “The car gets a flat, the man on board is still going to be the one who has to get out of the car on a rainy night and fix it (though I can’t imagine why he doesn’t have AAA). The modern man can cry and not feel like it’s a threat to his manliness, which is nice when you’re changing a flat tire on a rainy night.”
Re birthdays at midlife: “I actually have to rehearse for my next age number before it arrives so I don’t get whiplash when my birthday hits.”
Re fidelity, in response to a Chris Rock quote, “Men are only as faithful as their options,” Steve Ochs writes, “If most women were only as faithful as their options they would live out their lives endlessly rotating through the 64 Kama Sutra sex acts with a million happy strangers.”
Re the problem of gaining weight in midlife: “There’s a great rule that you should only eat until you’re 80% full because in 20 minutes your brain will fully understand what your mouth and stomach have been up to and send out the ‘full’ signals.”
Much more than humor for humor’s sake, MIDMEN is an owner’s manual for the man recognizing that he’s crossed or is crossing the probable halfway point in his life. Ochs covers a maturing man’s emotional, mental, physical, and sexual well-being. He offers the reader a candid heart-to-heart talk based on his own life, along with a chorus of what the experts say.
Speaking to the Maryland Writers’ Association at Annapolis recently, I quoted from MIDMEN a paragraph that I find especially soothing:
“The midman won’t even have to complete anything successfully. He could conceivably fuck up everything he touches. But if he lives his life in pursuit of the thing or things that matter to him, it will be the pursuit and not the result that will fill his minutes, days and years. Never forget this; it takes a long time to reach a worthy goal but only seconds to utter the words ‘I’m done.’ …This means you fucking well better enjoy the process of reaching that goal because that is how you spend your life. …The trick to happy aging and, ultimately, guiltless death, is not necessarily having accomplished our goals; it is having spent our lives in pursuit of them.”
Ochs says that “A study by some economists in Switzerland, where the Alpine valleys are black with economists, is among many studies that have proven that a reduction in the retirement age causes a significant increase in the risk of premature death for men. …But if we’re involved in something that deeply motivates us, we live longer and better.”
Ochs goes on to say that to meet his book’s goal of lifting the MIDMAN out of midlife crisis, the MIDMAN “has to accomplish two primary things: Isolate and identify the pursuit or pursuits in his life that will offer enhanced value to his blink-of-the-eye visit to planet Earth. Clear a pathway through the everyday shit that comprises his current life so he can pursue the pursuit(s) he’s identified as the pursuit(s) he wishes to pursue.”
The author reminds us that we should look back with an honest appreciation of the lives we’ve lived: “MIDMEN who were born between 1950 and 1968 enjoyed some pretty sweet years to grow up in the western world. Yes, we’re aging, but we listened to actual music. We had toys and got dirty outside. We got in trouble and won and lost. We got berated verbally and chased around the house by swinging father-fists while vicious threats were hurled at our escaping heels. I’m sorry, did I write that out loud? Life was different then than it is today and sure as hell different than it will be tomorrow. Our world wasn’t perfect, but it was probably a better place to grow up.”
And he reminds us to try to face life’s ultimate end with a sense of humor: “Thirty thousand people turned out to see the hanging of a murderer named Dr. William Palmer. There he stood on the gallows, hands tied, noose around his neck. Before stepping on the trap door he gently tapped his foot on it and said, ‘Is this thing safe?’”
Nor do you want to miss his MIDMEN booktrailer, a spoof interview by Edward R Murrow. See it here: http://www.midlifecrisisbook.com/watc...
Och’s book, MIDMEN: THE MODERN MAN’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING MIDLIFE CRISIS, is littered with humorous gems:
Re changing sex roles: “The car gets a flat, the man on board is still going to be the one who has to get out of the car on a rainy night and fix it (though I can’t imagine why he doesn’t have AAA). The modern man can cry and not feel like it’s a threat to his manliness, which is nice when you’re changing a flat tire on a rainy night.”
Re birthdays at midlife: “I actually have to rehearse for my next age number before it arrives so I don’t get whiplash when my birthday hits.”
Re fidelity, in response to a Chris Rock quote, “Men are only as faithful as their options,” Steve Ochs writes, “If most women were only as faithful as their options they would live out their lives endlessly rotating through the 64 Kama Sutra sex acts with a million happy strangers.”
Re the problem of gaining weight in midlife: “There’s a great rule that you should only eat until you’re 80% full because in 20 minutes your brain will fully understand what your mouth and stomach have been up to and send out the ‘full’ signals.”
Much more than humor for humor’s sake, MIDMEN is an owner’s manual for the man recognizing that he’s crossed or is crossing the probable halfway point in his life. Ochs covers a maturing man’s emotional, mental, physical, and sexual well-being. He offers the reader a candid heart-to-heart talk based on his own life, along with a chorus of what the experts say.
Speaking to the Maryland Writers’ Association at Annapolis recently, I quoted from MIDMEN a paragraph that I find especially soothing:
“The midman won’t even have to complete anything successfully. He could conceivably fuck up everything he touches. But if he lives his life in pursuit of the thing or things that matter to him, it will be the pursuit and not the result that will fill his minutes, days and years. Never forget this; it takes a long time to reach a worthy goal but only seconds to utter the words ‘I’m done.’ …This means you fucking well better enjoy the process of reaching that goal because that is how you spend your life. …The trick to happy aging and, ultimately, guiltless death, is not necessarily having accomplished our goals; it is having spent our lives in pursuit of them.”
Ochs says that “A study by some economists in Switzerland, where the Alpine valleys are black with economists, is among many studies that have proven that a reduction in the retirement age causes a significant increase in the risk of premature death for men. …But if we’re involved in something that deeply motivates us, we live longer and better.”
Ochs goes on to say that to meet his book’s goal of lifting the MIDMAN out of midlife crisis, the MIDMAN “has to accomplish two primary things: Isolate and identify the pursuit or pursuits in his life that will offer enhanced value to his blink-of-the-eye visit to planet Earth. Clear a pathway through the everyday shit that comprises his current life so he can pursue the pursuit(s) he’s identified as the pursuit(s) he wishes to pursue.”
The author reminds us that we should look back with an honest appreciation of the lives we’ve lived: “MIDMEN who were born between 1950 and 1968 enjoyed some pretty sweet years to grow up in the western world. Yes, we’re aging, but we listened to actual music. We had toys and got dirty outside. We got in trouble and won and lost. We got berated verbally and chased around the house by swinging father-fists while vicious threats were hurled at our escaping heels. I’m sorry, did I write that out loud? Life was different then than it is today and sure as hell different than it will be tomorrow. Our world wasn’t perfect, but it was probably a better place to grow up.”
And he reminds us to try to face life’s ultimate end with a sense of humor: “Thirty thousand people turned out to see the hanging of a murderer named Dr. William Palmer. There he stood on the gallows, hands tied, noose around his neck. Before stepping on the trap door he gently tapped his foot on it and said, ‘Is this thing safe?’”
March 30, 2016
The funniest, smartest, most brutally honest coping-with-midlife book you will ever read.
True this: you are either a man getting ready for your midlife crisis, or a man in the midst of your midlife crisis, or a man on the other side of your midlife crisis, or a person who knows one of these men. And given this is immutable fact of living in America at this moment in time, then it follows in the funniest way that you need to read MIDMEN: The Modern Man’s Guide to Surviving Midlife Crisis. Or you know someone who does.
For the moment, forget the fact that you should read MIDMEN because it’s flat-out hilarious. Writer, actor, producer, comedian Steve Ochs is as profane and smart and hysterical as #&*! You will be thoroughly entertained from page one to page the end. Indeed, if MIDMEN were only about making you laugh aloud, then you would have to buy it now and read it now. I’m not kidding. It’s that funny.
But as clever and clear as Ochs is, MIDMEN is much more than entertaining. It is—in its special irreverent way—enlightening. Big word, I know, but it applies to MIDMEN. I mean it.
A midlife crisis is nothing to poo-poo. It’s physically, emotional, spiritually, and intellectually debilitating—at the very least, hyper challenging. And Steve Ochs has created and written a guide to surviving it. No, that’s not it. He’s gifted all men (and the women and children who tolerate them) a way to not simply survive it but to thrive through it.
There are chapters about the spouse, the kids, the world, money, and the mind that will make your eyes shoot open with recognition, if not impending doom, even while you’re laughing. Not to worry, Ochs catches you before you hit the floor and lifts you up and dusts you and tells you how to keep on keeping on. I don’t want to go into specifics because you deserve the right to crack the #&*! up on your own. But his extended bit about your body as it ages and the ensuing grooming that necessarily follows is so cringe-worthy and hilarious that, well, read it. And you will never see Da Vinci’s Vitruvian man the same way again. Never. As in not ever. Meaning never ever again.
It’s a fabulous book. Uplifting in all the right ways despite, no, because of the holy-#&*!-I’m-really-getting-old-now subject matter. Read it for yourself. Or get it for someone who should be reading it. Just get it.
True this: you are either a man getting ready for your midlife crisis, or a man in the midst of your midlife crisis, or a man on the other side of your midlife crisis, or a person who knows one of these men. And given this is immutable fact of living in America at this moment in time, then it follows in the funniest way that you need to read MIDMEN: The Modern Man’s Guide to Surviving Midlife Crisis. Or you know someone who does.
For the moment, forget the fact that you should read MIDMEN because it’s flat-out hilarious. Writer, actor, producer, comedian Steve Ochs is as profane and smart and hysterical as #&*! You will be thoroughly entertained from page one to page the end. Indeed, if MIDMEN were only about making you laugh aloud, then you would have to buy it now and read it now. I’m not kidding. It’s that funny.
But as clever and clear as Ochs is, MIDMEN is much more than entertaining. It is—in its special irreverent way—enlightening. Big word, I know, but it applies to MIDMEN. I mean it.
A midlife crisis is nothing to poo-poo. It’s physically, emotional, spiritually, and intellectually debilitating—at the very least, hyper challenging. And Steve Ochs has created and written a guide to surviving it. No, that’s not it. He’s gifted all men (and the women and children who tolerate them) a way to not simply survive it but to thrive through it.
There are chapters about the spouse, the kids, the world, money, and the mind that will make your eyes shoot open with recognition, if not impending doom, even while you’re laughing. Not to worry, Ochs catches you before you hit the floor and lifts you up and dusts you and tells you how to keep on keeping on. I don’t want to go into specifics because you deserve the right to crack the #&*! up on your own. But his extended bit about your body as it ages and the ensuing grooming that necessarily follows is so cringe-worthy and hilarious that, well, read it. And you will never see Da Vinci’s Vitruvian man the same way again. Never. As in not ever. Meaning never ever again.
It’s a fabulous book. Uplifting in all the right ways despite, no, because of the holy-#&*!-I’m-really-getting-old-now subject matter. Read it for yourself. Or get it for someone who should be reading it. Just get it.
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