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It Was You
Lexie Caldwell has perfected the performance.
The messy bun — effortless, but not too effortless. The faithful Mormon husband. The three children in coordinating Sunday clothes. The 261,000 followers who believe every word she says about building a life worth wanting. She is extraordinary at all of it. She has always been extraordinary at all of it.
What Lexie cannot explain is why, during sacrament meeting one unremarkable Sunday, the sight of a stranger's small tattoo — a single botanical line on the inside of a wrist — stops her breath. Or why the word that arrives in her chest, unbidden and unwelcome, is free.
Then she meets Drew on the trail. He's not from Cedar Hills. He doesn't know who she is, what she represents, what her carefully held place in this community means. He orders black coffee and asks real questions and listens the way people only listen when they have nothing to perform. On early-morning runs along the canyon rim, Lexie tells him things she hasn't said out loud — and discovers, slowly, that being known feels entirely different from being admired.
Set against the red rock canyons of Southern Utah, It Was You follows one woman's quiet unraveling across a single year — the trail runs that become the only hour she can breathe, the coffee shop encounters that become something she cannot name, the brand deal she hasn't told her husband about, the best friend whose altar she stares at and never mentions, the faith she tends like a fire she is no longer sure she believes in. And underneath all of the growing, terrifying suspicion that the life she built so carefully was never quite the right shape for the person living it.
This is not a story about losing faith. It is a story about what happens when a woman stops performing long enough to find out what is actually true.
If you have ever sat in a pew and felt the quiet dissonance between the life being described and the life you were actually living — this book was written for you. It Was You renders the textures of Mormon life with an insider's the ward politics, the curated testimony, the unspoken rules of womanhood inside a tight-knit community of faith. For readers who are simply curious about that world from the outside, it is a rare and intimate window. But for the woman who has lived it — who has questioned, who has looked outside the box or quietly stepped beyond it and found it impossible to fully step back in — she will see herself on every single page.
This is the novel for the woman who has wondered whether the shape of her life was chosen — or simply handed to her, and accepted.
A luminous and devastating novel about devotion, desire, and the cost of a life built to be witnessed.
The messy bun — effortless, but not too effortless. The faithful Mormon husband. The three children in coordinating Sunday clothes. The 261,000 followers who believe every word she says about building a life worth wanting. She is extraordinary at all of it. She has always been extraordinary at all of it.
What Lexie cannot explain is why, during sacrament meeting one unremarkable Sunday, the sight of a stranger's small tattoo — a single botanical line on the inside of a wrist — stops her breath. Or why the word that arrives in her chest, unbidden and unwelcome, is free.
Then she meets Drew on the trail. He's not from Cedar Hills. He doesn't know who she is, what she represents, what her carefully held place in this community means. He orders black coffee and asks real questions and listens the way people only listen when they have nothing to perform. On early-morning runs along the canyon rim, Lexie tells him things she hasn't said out loud — and discovers, slowly, that being known feels entirely different from being admired.
Set against the red rock canyons of Southern Utah, It Was You follows one woman's quiet unraveling across a single year — the trail runs that become the only hour she can breathe, the coffee shop encounters that become something she cannot name, the brand deal she hasn't told her husband about, the best friend whose altar she stares at and never mentions, the faith she tends like a fire she is no longer sure she believes in. And underneath all of the growing, terrifying suspicion that the life she built so carefully was never quite the right shape for the person living it.
This is not a story about losing faith. It is a story about what happens when a woman stops performing long enough to find out what is actually true.
If you have ever sat in a pew and felt the quiet dissonance between the life being described and the life you were actually living — this book was written for you. It Was You renders the textures of Mormon life with an insider's the ward politics, the curated testimony, the unspoken rules of womanhood inside a tight-knit community of faith. For readers who are simply curious about that world from the outside, it is a rare and intimate window. But for the woman who has lived it — who has questioned, who has looked outside the box or quietly stepped beyond it and found it impossible to fully step back in — she will see herself on every single page.
This is the novel for the woman who has wondered whether the shape of her life was chosen — or simply handed to her, and accepted.
A luminous and devastating novel about devotion, desire, and the cost of a life built to be witnessed.
362 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 30, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 9, 2026
I’m going to read this again. Simply to ask those same questions to myself in a deeper way. This wasn’t about being unhappy and meeting a guy. It’s about being able to question yourself and your beliefs and being open to the honest answers within yourself. Being able to be brave enough to look at those answers and do the very hard thing. It was an intriguing book in that I didn’t know much about Lexie’s religion and I found myself looking up more information so I could get to know her better. I was angry with along with her when she was angry. I cried with her when she cried. At the same time I wasn’t sure how I wanted it to end. The complete opposite ways that she and Sara were so different, but yet they were best friends. When she was able to order her first coffee, I cheered! I loved that she had points of view from both Drew and Ryan. To delve into why their lives were the way they were and if they wanted to change their inherent beliefs. That Drew had been searching for so long for an answer, an explanation. And that he was able to open up to her and she was able to receive it. Ryan recognizing that he needed to stay with his beliefs and find someone that could fit his blueprint. The introduction of the “woo woo” with crystals and such and recognizing that she was allowed to question and believe what her heart said. And all the time, it wasn’t a person that had changed her at all. I received a free copy of this book.
April 10, 2026
Loved it!
Such a great story about the choices we make in life. It is a story of self discovery and making tough decisions and dealing with whatever comes. It's about realizing the life you thought you wanted may not be the life you were meant to lead. It is beautifully written!
Such a great story about the choices we make in life. It is a story of self discovery and making tough decisions and dealing with whatever comes. It's about realizing the life you thought you wanted may not be the life you were meant to lead. It is beautifully written!
August 14, 2026
This book was obviously written by/with ai. The premise has potential - a mormon woman realizes her perfect life isn't what she really wants- but it falls flat because the writing is so poorly done.
Metaphors and turns of phrase that don't make sense, soooo many lists of 3, every other sentence was ' __ with the ___ of a __ that ___', perspective shifts with no warning, confused actions and motivations.
She deletes her search history to avoid being caught, then bookmarks a page a couple paragraphs later. She hands her daughter a sandwich in a diagonal manner. She thinks about how waking up a few minutes early means she doesn't *have* to get up yet, then goes on a five mile run before anyone else wakes up. She stops to acknowledge the ML, then in his perspective he admires she didn't stop.
These three excerpts are on the same page:
" Biscuit met her at the back door with the full-body joy of a dog who had genuinely believed she was never coming back."
"Biscuit immediately began his morning campaign for table scraps, circling the kitchen island with the patient optimism of someone who knew better than to ask the person doing the cooking. Sophi fed him toast crusts with the secretive satisfaction of a three year old discovering her own power."
"She felt—irrationally, quietly, with the embarrassment of a woman who knows better—the deflation of an absence she hadn’t admitted to anticipating."
Metaphors and turns of phrase that don't make sense, soooo many lists of 3, every other sentence was ' __ with the ___ of a __ that ___', perspective shifts with no warning, confused actions and motivations.
She deletes her search history to avoid being caught, then bookmarks a page a couple paragraphs later. She hands her daughter a sandwich in a diagonal manner. She thinks about how waking up a few minutes early means she doesn't *have* to get up yet, then goes on a five mile run before anyone else wakes up. She stops to acknowledge the ML, then in his perspective he admires she didn't stop.
These three excerpts are on the same page:
" Biscuit met her at the back door with the full-body joy of a dog who had genuinely believed she was never coming back."
"Biscuit immediately began his morning campaign for table scraps, circling the kitchen island with the patient optimism of someone who knew better than to ask the person doing the cooking. Sophi fed him toast crusts with the secretive satisfaction of a three year old discovering her own power."
"She felt—irrationally, quietly, with the embarrassment of a woman who knows better—the deflation of an absence she hadn’t admitted to anticipating."
April 10, 2026
Elin Roan writes an intriguing tale about Lexie, a perfect wife and mother with a perfect life. She begins to feel the "something's not right" feeling and starts to question her life, her faith in her religion and even her marriage. This is a story about being able to question yourself and being honest with the answers within yourself. Lexie meets Drew who becomes a close friend to her. Drew and Ryan both have differing points of view. Drew is searching for answers or explanations and is able to find those through Lexie. And Ryan figures out he needs to find someone to fit his "blueprint." Reading this book I feel I went on the same emotional rollercoaster ride as Lexie. This story has some very emotional depth. I laughed in places and cried in others. I found this book a great book and highly recommend reading it!
August 20, 2026
Felt this would have been more impactful if there was some background on the Mormon beliefs and religious practices. With limited familiarity, I feel like I lost a lot of what this book intended to convey to the reader. The descriptions of scenes such as the accident Drew witnessed as a child was so stunning and powerful. As was the imagery when Lexie is running the trail. I appreciated the questioning of that which she once accepted without analysis and also the extent to which she performs rather than embodies the beliefs expected of her.
August 21, 2026
This is a story about unbecoming and becoming. A story about trying to figure out who you are in the life you presently lead. About being seen when no one else truly sees you. It is a journey of finding yourself through the life you thought was meant for you and separating yourself from the opinions of others and who they believe you to be. Being made small by the opinions of people who believe they know how every aspect of your life should be. A journey of self discovery with a little bit of rebel in the mix.
April 23, 2026
New life goals
This is the story of a young woman who is obeying the religion and life she has been raised in. They need her to be compliant to their teachings for her children, her husband and faith. She runs every morning on a trail to enjoy her solitude before the daily encroachment begins. When a chance meeting with a man on the path, also searching for answers, overlaps and in time, becomes important enough for her to realize the emptiness of her life and she starts a journey searching for her truth.
This is the story of a young woman who is obeying the religion and life she has been raised in. They need her to be compliant to their teachings for her children, her husband and faith. She runs every morning on a trail to enjoy her solitude before the daily encroachment begins. When a chance meeting with a man on the path, also searching for answers, overlaps and in time, becomes important enough for her to realize the emptiness of her life and she starts a journey searching for her truth.
April 23, 2026
This story was a powerful read. The main character, Lexie, must decide between her Mormon life, that she has been living for nine years, is what she wants to keep living. She realizes that there may be more to life than just going thru the motions. A very interesting read that gives you an insight to the Mormon life.
August 14, 2026
I absolutely loved how this book handled the pressure women face to look like they have it all together. Lexie lives in this picture perfect Southern Utah community but underneath it all she is totally drowning in everyone's expectations. It's not a bitter story at all it's just a really honest look at a woman finally deciding to be real instead of just putting on a show
I received an arc copy
I received an arc copy
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews