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Between Therapist and Client: The New Relationship
Perhaps the most important aspect of the therapeutic process is the relationship between therapist and client. For years, two major schools of thought have strongly disagreed about what the nature of that relationship should be. The humanists emphasized warmth and empathy. The psychoanalysts kept a neutral, cool distance. Recently, however, the beginnings of a reconciliation between these traditions have opened new possibilities for the way therapists relate to clients. In Between Therapist and Client , Michael Kahn shows why this new consensus is promising. Beginning with Freud's discovery of transference, Kahn traces the history of the clinical relationship from Carl Rogers' introduction of humanistic concerns through Merton Gill's theory and technique of transference analysis, to the pioneering work of Heinz Kohut, who has most successfully brought together psychoanalytic and humanistic thought. Using vivid examples from his own practice, Kahn shows how a coherent synthesis of these various approaches leads to the most successful clinical relationships. Completely updated with greater discussion of ethics and countertransference, the new edition of Between Therapist and Client is essential reading for those in psychotherapy both therapist and client.
224 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 1991
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937 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
April 10, 2008
In my moments of longing for an alternate career, I muse on being a psychotherapist. Do I want to go back to school and dive deep into debt? My thinks not. But, I still nurture the possibility of that seismic shift in my life, deep in my soul.
This book was a very fine discussion of this relationship... giving a brief overview of the primary views that have developed over the last century. But, it doesn't at all feel like a history or "school" book. It's a very easy read, with examples from sessions of the author's own work over the years.
It gives a very candid glimpse into the kinds of spaces that are most fruitful for a client... ie: the very relationship between the client and therapist is the most ripe place for curiosity and analysis.
This book was a very fine discussion of this relationship... giving a brief overview of the primary views that have developed over the last century. But, it doesn't at all feel like a history or "school" book. It's a very easy read, with examples from sessions of the author's own work over the years.
It gives a very candid glimpse into the kinds of spaces that are most fruitful for a client... ie: the very relationship between the client and therapist is the most ripe place for curiosity and analysis.
October 16, 2024
I love my career holy moly. Katie Liskey- are you there? Can you hear me? I’m equally overwhelmed and excited about everything I read for this program but golly this was good! It talks about how to utilize transference and cotransference and I literally am terrified and so excited and honored to take up healing spaces with clients! T-minus 3 months!
January 29, 2012
Meh. This was very similar to Basic Freud (also written by Kahn) and both the style and problems are the same. I find the text written at a high school level. It doesn't make sense to read it if you have already read the authors he summarizes (Gill, Rogers, Kohut, Freud) because it is just a very elementary recap. It's not really written for professions who have their license because they should already know this stuff. So I guess this means it was written for trainees like me and it put me to sleep several times (just as basic Freud did). So, apparently Kahn gets me in touch with my inner narcoleptic.
August 22, 2024
Interesting exploration of different schools of thought on the topic of the therapeutic relationship, and did make me wonder where I’ll end up in my thoughts once I’ve trained. However, some of the ways this book suggests the therapist can address transference still felt too much like they would be leading from their own frame of reference?
Anyhoo- an informative read, if not a little repetitive at times. At least this meant things were communicated clearly to newbies in the field!
Anyhoo- an informative read, if not a little repetitive at times. At least this meant things were communicated clearly to newbies in the field!
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January 27, 2016Kahn gives a short but useful outline of the history of psychoanalysis, client-centered therapy and a few in-between points of view. He describes the work of various, important authors, such as Freud, Rogers, Gill and Kohut. Recommendations by Kahn about aspects such as self-disclosure, genuineness and making the client aware of the transference in the last chapter are of great, practical use.
January 20, 2018
This was perfectly acceptable, not mind-blowing or perspective shifting. But, nevertheless, an adequate description of the therapist-client relationship. I found it to be a bit simplistic and perhaps too watered down. Otherwise, it has some valuable insights, particularly on the subject of countertransference and the importance of the therapist remaining mindful of what they're bringing to the relationship. It isn't always the problems of the client creating friction and I think therapists often forget that.
October 14, 2022
Incredibly accessible - borrowed from my school library and will buy a copy for myself to refer to in future. Useful on the theory but also on practical applications of it.
May 1, 2016
Enjoying this book a lot. Reading it for a program in which I am enrolled at John Carroll University in counseling and spiritual wellness. It distilled a great deal of complicated theory and makes it accessible for those of us trying to bring about a therapeutic result in the relationships engendered with those we encounter in clergy life.
November 8, 2019
An accessible introduction to the rational of integrative therapy and how humanistic and psychoanalytic schools of thought came to meet somewhere in the middle. Gives a flavour of each of the key players in the movement, and has a good selection of recommended further reading as epilogue. Won't set anyone's world on fire, but does what it says on the tin.
May 18, 2023
I find this book very interesting, clear and helpful. The author gives an overview of the main developments in the therapeutic relationship through time. We have a picture of the early analyst as detached and silent. Freud’s way of being with patients was not like this, rather, he was active and engaged with them. Most analysts abandoned the role of detached and silent, which is both a relieve for themselves and the patient. It is known that such a therapist can even cause further traumatization to a patient. Nevertheless, there are also advantages to this role as Kahn stresses.
The humanistic approach was another school that greatly contributed to the formation of the therapeutic relationship. Carl Rogers describes that it makes an effective therapist if he is genuine, empathic and in unconditional positive regard towards the client (other schools than the psychoanalyst, rather use the word client instead of patient). Kahn devotes a chapter to re-experiencing theory (M. Gill) and a chapter about Kohut who talks about self-psychology. In Kohut’s view there are three strong needs that must be fulfilled to develop the self fully: the need to be ‘mirrored’ , the need to idealize and the need to be like others.
The book extensively deals with the topic of transference (discovered by Freud) and the various sources of countertransference. Transference is an enormous source for discovery and learning and it seems very effective to deal with it in the session room. As the therapist is also human, he cannot be objective, but should be as much aware as he can of his countertransference. In a sense one could say there are two clients in the room, both with their templates, with one that hopefully is a bit more aware of it. In order for the therapist to be aware of his templates, it is important that he reflects on himself, engages or engaged in therapy as a client and has colleagues or supervisors to talk about what happens in him in the sessions.
I find it hopeful that the author writes, that ten therapy sessions are much better than nothing – considering that one-on-one long-term therapy will be less and less prominent these days. I also like that Kahn writes about the dillema's that therapists face and also how he thinks can be best dealt with. The short dialogues between therapist and client are helpful and concrete, explaining the theory. Overall I find that Kahn sets a realistic and honest view of how the therapeutic relationship should look like and which factors are important, he does that in a not too rigid way, which gives space for the particular character of a therapist himself. It gives me a frame, something to hold on but also... space to breathe.
The humanistic approach was another school that greatly contributed to the formation of the therapeutic relationship. Carl Rogers describes that it makes an effective therapist if he is genuine, empathic and in unconditional positive regard towards the client (other schools than the psychoanalyst, rather use the word client instead of patient). Kahn devotes a chapter to re-experiencing theory (M. Gill) and a chapter about Kohut who talks about self-psychology. In Kohut’s view there are three strong needs that must be fulfilled to develop the self fully: the need to be ‘mirrored’ , the need to idealize and the need to be like others.
The book extensively deals with the topic of transference (discovered by Freud) and the various sources of countertransference. Transference is an enormous source for discovery and learning and it seems very effective to deal with it in the session room. As the therapist is also human, he cannot be objective, but should be as much aware as he can of his countertransference. In a sense one could say there are two clients in the room, both with their templates, with one that hopefully is a bit more aware of it. In order for the therapist to be aware of his templates, it is important that he reflects on himself, engages or engaged in therapy as a client and has colleagues or supervisors to talk about what happens in him in the sessions.
I find it hopeful that the author writes, that ten therapy sessions are much better than nothing – considering that one-on-one long-term therapy will be less and less prominent these days. I also like that Kahn writes about the dillema's that therapists face and also how he thinks can be best dealt with. The short dialogues between therapist and client are helpful and concrete, explaining the theory. Overall I find that Kahn sets a realistic and honest view of how the therapeutic relationship should look like and which factors are important, he does that in a not too rigid way, which gives space for the particular character of a therapist himself. It gives me a frame, something to hold on but also... space to breathe.
July 10, 2023
I missed mentioning and describing all of the four major psychoanalytic paradigms: drive theory, ego psychology, object relations, and self psychology ... and how they contributed to the understanding of relationship.
The Chapter about obstructive (complimentary) and useful (concordant) countertransference confused me. I've been taught that complementary countertransference can also be very useful (therapeut can feel how e.g. how the mother of a client has felt around the client).
Another thing that I missed is consideration of personality structure (psychotic, border line, neurotic) when it comes down to analysis of transfer, how open should the therapist be about himself and other things from chapter "The therapist's dilemmas".
Otherwise I enjoyed reading the book. It does offer some good explanations of the relationship between client and therapist.
Some notes:
Carl Rogers:
- genuineness
- empathy
- unconditional positive regard
Merton Gill:
- remembering
- re-experiencing
Conditions for therapeutic re-experiencing:
Feelings, impulses, expectations must be
- Experienced in the presence of the person toward whom they are now directed.
- The re-experienced feelings must be expressed toward the person ... (therapist)
- The therapist must be willing to open up to those feelings.
- The client must be helped to learn the ancient and deep source of the re-experienced impulses
Three interpretations of transference:
- here and now (in the relationships with the therapist)
- contemporary life (in the relationships with friends etc.)
- genetic (from the past; e.g. parents)
Kohut:
- the need to be mirrored - mirror transference
- the need to idealize - idealizing transference
- the need to be like others - twinship transference
Four sources of countertransference.
The Chapter about obstructive (complimentary) and useful (concordant) countertransference confused me. I've been taught that complementary countertransference can also be very useful (therapeut can feel how e.g. how the mother of a client has felt around the client).
Another thing that I missed is consideration of personality structure (psychotic, border line, neurotic) when it comes down to analysis of transfer, how open should the therapist be about himself and other things from chapter "The therapist's dilemmas".
Otherwise I enjoyed reading the book. It does offer some good explanations of the relationship between client and therapist.
Some notes:
Carl Rogers:
- genuineness
- empathy
- unconditional positive regard
Merton Gill:
- remembering
- re-experiencing
Conditions for therapeutic re-experiencing:
Feelings, impulses, expectations must be
- Experienced in the presence of the person toward whom they are now directed.
- The re-experienced feelings must be expressed toward the person ... (therapist)
- The therapist must be willing to open up to those feelings.
- The client must be helped to learn the ancient and deep source of the re-experienced impulses
Three interpretations of transference:
- here and now (in the relationships with the therapist)
- contemporary life (in the relationships with friends etc.)
- genetic (from the past; e.g. parents)
Kohut:
- the need to be mirrored - mirror transference
- the need to idealize - idealizing transference
- the need to be like others - twinship transference
Four sources of countertransference.
March 25, 2025
I found this book incredibly helpful as a counsellor in training! It explained a good amount about some counselling theories and theoretical ideas in an easy to understand manner, which I found incredibly useful as many other counselling books can get a bit wordy and complex.
I would recommend it to any counselling students and I can say that I found it a very useful resource, hence my 5* review!
I would recommend it to any counselling students and I can say that I found it a very useful resource, hence my 5* review!
Want to read
July 21, 2020Get a view on it - A CENTRAL QUESTION in the actual days, at least, IN BRASIL!!! About the "Pedophilia question" ... from recent news from local tele-jornals, around 70% of the "pedófilos" of the world, are at the brazilian land! (Abusadores, aparecem desde "TEMPLOS RELIGIOSOS", até dentro das paredes das cadeias... por dentro e por fora das celas!)
July 26, 2017
A clear, well-written and useful exploration of transference and countertransference.
November 28, 2019
This is a good book for new therapists
May 28, 2023
Each section highlights a different figure in the developing field of psychology that has shaped the client-clinician relationship today
August 2, 2025
Useful for any aspiring or current therapist!
March 3, 2013
For me, this book defines my idea of a rewarding therapeutic relationship. It helped me consolidate my understanding of the importance of empathy, transference and counter transference to therapeutic outcomes. I can only agree wholeheartedly with some of the reviews on the back cover 'the valuable integration of humanistic psychology and contemporary psychoanalysis brings into exquisite focus the understanding of the therapist-patient relationship as the essential ingredient of therapeutic change'; ' an unexpected pleasure, readable at all levels ...'; 'this book unravels the 'action' of therapy...I have no doubt I will return to this book time after time both as a client and a therapist.
June 12, 2012
Kahn describes the various approaches to the therapeutic relationship delineated by Freud, Rogers, Gill, and Kohut, and then does a great job integrating all of the disparate threads into a cohesive set of guidelines for therapists. His writing is clear, engaging, humane, easy to read, and very inspiring. I get the impression that he is probably a pretty great shrink, too. I would recommend this book to clients seeking to understand the "rules" of therapy as much as to new therapists (and therapists-to-be).
October 11, 2014
Useful! Not too abstract and not too prescriptive. Kahn presents concepts and broad guidelines for the reader to interpret and apply on their own, but there is also no shortage of clinical examples to learn from. A digestible amount of historical context for the theories being integrated. I like the way Kahn presents a theoretical spectrum (e.g. radical to conservative approaches around self-disclosure) and the strengths of each end before identifying his personal position along that spectrum. An easy and informative read.
August 8, 2016
3.5 stars
I got this hoping to get a deeper I
understanding of interpersonal process. I did learn some things from the reading and it certainly has me questioning myself and what I do in the room with clients (which is a good thing). It was more historical context than the tangible resource than I was hoping for.
I got this hoping to get a deeper I
understanding of interpersonal process. I did learn some things from the reading and it certainly has me questioning myself and what I do in the room with clients (which is a good thing). It was more historical context than the tangible resource than I was hoping for.
May 23, 2014
Great overview of Freud, Gill, and Kohut with an eye toward the practical implications within a practice. A must-read for anyone that wants to build a therapeutic relationship with clients within a psychodynamic framework.
September 13, 2007
Highly rec. for anyone in the profession!
Good, good book!
Good, good book!
February 1, 2013
read this if you have a therapist not just if you are/studying to be a therapist
September 22, 2013
I wish this was assigned to us to read during the first semester. Engaging and useful with a lot of important information regarding use of self.
November 12, 2013
A very helpful introduction to the importance of the therapeutic relationship (and the different ways in which this relationship might be developed).
July 17, 2015
A great book, particularly the chapters on transference and counter-transference.
January 6, 2016
Although It as been quite a long time since I read this book I remember feeling it was very interesting and I could relate to it.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews