What do you think?
Una vida buscando
Rothko Taylor has washed up with the tide, back in their hometown, Edgecliff. Fifteen years since they left it behind.
The past is accelerating towards the skateboard kids on the high street that remind them of their teenage years, the splintered benches looking out to sea, where their mum Meg clutched her cans. The nice bit of town, where their dad Ezra tried and failed to build a happy home. And Dionne's block. Beautiful, extraordinary Dionne, the only person who had ever looked at them and seen what was there.
Back then, overwhelmed and full of fear, they sank beneath the surface into chaos. But they made it out alive. And this time, Rothko is determined that things will be different.
A decade since Kae Tempest's last novel, Having Spent Life Seeking is about family and forgiveness; redemption and atonement; desire and abandon; selfhood and community. The things we seek when we are hiding, and what finds us, if we can let ourselves be seen.
The past is accelerating towards the skateboard kids on the high street that remind them of their teenage years, the splintered benches looking out to sea, where their mum Meg clutched her cans. The nice bit of town, where their dad Ezra tried and failed to build a happy home. And Dionne's block. Beautiful, extraordinary Dionne, the only person who had ever looked at them and seen what was there.
Back then, overwhelmed and full of fear, they sank beneath the surface into chaos. But they made it out alive. And this time, Rothko is determined that things will be different.
A decade since Kae Tempest's last novel, Having Spent Life Seeking is about family and forgiveness; redemption and atonement; desire and abandon; selfhood and community. The things we seek when we are hiding, and what finds us, if we can let ourselves be seen.
325 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 195 reviews
May 1, 2026
One of those earth shattering, mind altering and once in a blue moon books. The experience is somewhat like reading Euphoria in the hands of a poet with lived experience. I’ve said it many times but I’ll say it again, Kae Tempest is a stone cold genius.
May 4, 2026
most enjoyable reading experience I have had in a long time, loved every aspect of this from the characters to the sense of place to the language !! Kae
Tempest is my 🐐
Tempest is my 🐐
June 3, 2026
A beautifully written and captivating story that is absolutely heart wrenching at times, yet ultimately full of hope. Tempest is truly a master of language and writes with such emotional depth. Rothko is a character that will stay with me for a long time. Can’t wait to see Tempest at Louisiana Literature this summer!
Read
June 7, 2026“cossos. tan previsibles, tan normals, però si els empenys fins al límit són capaços de gestes increïbles”.
quina abraçada la compassió amb què kae tempest tracta els seus personatges. com amb tot el que fa, et sents embolcallat per una tendresa feixuga i trista i esperançadora de la qual sento que encara tinc molt a aprendre. profundament agraïda de poder tenir les seves paraules a l’abast, en la forma que siguin. un regal.
(alguns problemes amb la traducció. tants castellanismes per què? Ganes de llegir-lo en anglès.)
quina abraçada la compassió amb què kae tempest tracta els seus personatges. com amb tot el que fa, et sents embolcallat per una tendresa feixuga i trista i esperançadora de la qual sento que encara tinc molt a aprendre. profundament agraïda de poder tenir les seves paraules a l’abast, en la forma que siguin. un regal.
(alguns problemes amb la traducció. tants castellanismes per què? Ganes de llegir-lo en anglès.)
July 27, 2026
Having Spent Life Seeking is hopeful, painful, renewing, ugly, beautiful. Disorienting and empathetic, you lurch between characters, stand in their shoes and understand.
It is technically stunning and life affirming in its patient yet firm movements towards love, love of self.
As painful as it is at times, Kae treats the reader and characters with tenderness. While reading, you are trusted. Trusted to care, trusted to stay present alongside harm and to continue allowing hope space, and trusted to believe in and bear witness to humanity.
Most beautiful, most heartbreaking acknowledgment I have read.
I have a backlog of reviews to write but will return
It is technically stunning and life affirming in its patient yet firm movements towards love, love of self.
As painful as it is at times, Kae treats the reader and characters with tenderness. While reading, you are trusted. Trusted to care, trusted to stay present alongside harm and to continue allowing hope space, and trusted to believe in and bear witness to humanity.
Most beautiful, most heartbreaking acknowledgment I have read.
I have a backlog of reviews to write but will return
July 7, 2026
Ich würde gerne 7 Sterne vergeben.
Das war so bildhaft und berührend und hart und herzerreißend gleichzeitig. Die Sprache war so toll und nah, ich hab beim Lesen alles vor mir gesehen und die Charaktere kamen mir so echt und vielschichtig vor.
Lest das alle (wenn ihr bereit dazu seid, viel zu weinen)
TW: Suizidversuch, sexualisierte Gewalt, drug abuse, Homo- und Transphobie
Das war so bildhaft und berührend und hart und herzerreißend gleichzeitig. Die Sprache war so toll und nah, ich hab beim Lesen alles vor mir gesehen und die Charaktere kamen mir so echt und vielschichtig vor.
Lest das alle (wenn ihr bereit dazu seid, viel zu weinen)
TW: Suizidversuch, sexualisierte Gewalt, drug abuse, Homo- und Transphobie
August 30, 2026
Nog nooit een boek gelezen dat zo liefdevol geschreven is
July 14, 2026
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 29, 2026
Beautiful writing (at times) but painfully boring
July 13, 2026
The point isn't to feel good, the rushing water told them. The point is to feel.
kae tempest vino a madrid a presentar este libro, y recitó una parte del libro y fue una locura. es lo más cerca que he estado a un concierto suyo, y cuando era pequeña me obsesioné con let them eat chaos así que en la feria del libro sabía que este era el que quería comprar.
me da un poco de pena que no me haya encantado. estoy pendiente de que naiara lo acabe y lo pongamos en común, sobre todo desde una perspectiva no binarie / trans que yo, por mucho que esté rodeadísima de personas nb / trans masc, no vivo y no he tenido que buscar y rebuscar referentes como rothko.
porque creo que mucha de la importancia radica ahí, en tener protagonistas nb con toda la normalidad del mundo. mi problema ha sido un poco... todo el resto.
ayer describiéndoselo a mazu dije "muy dramático". pero siento que, sobre todo, no le podía quitar una cierta cualidad de libro de adolescentes. por lo radical de los eventos, por la forma de narrar... (eso sí, las partes que parecían poemas / rap me encantaban, oía a kae según leía). es que era todo muy intenso. demasiado.
me ha costado empatizar y entrar en la historia, y creo que espera más travesía del género de la que ha habido. y justo en el momento más "revelador", se me ha quedado corto de intensidad. no sé.
bueno, no quería ser yo quien dijera cosas malas de este libro, tengo mucha admiración a kae tempest y ojalá escriba muchas más novelas con personajes queer en el centro!
kae tempest vino a madrid a presentar este libro, y recitó una parte del libro y fue una locura. es lo más cerca que he estado a un concierto suyo, y cuando era pequeña me obsesioné con let them eat chaos así que en la feria del libro sabía que este era el que quería comprar.
me da un poco de pena que no me haya encantado. estoy pendiente de que naiara lo acabe y lo pongamos en común, sobre todo desde una perspectiva no binarie / trans que yo, por mucho que esté rodeadísima de personas nb / trans masc, no vivo y no he tenido que buscar y rebuscar referentes como rothko.
porque creo que mucha de la importancia radica ahí, en tener protagonistas nb con toda la normalidad del mundo. mi problema ha sido un poco... todo el resto.
ayer describiéndoselo a mazu dije "muy dramático". pero siento que, sobre todo, no le podía quitar una cierta cualidad de libro de adolescentes. por lo radical de los eventos, por la forma de narrar... (eso sí, las partes que parecían poemas / rap me encantaban, oía a kae según leía). es que era todo muy intenso. demasiado.
me ha costado empatizar y entrar en la historia, y creo que espera más travesía del género de la que ha habido. y justo en el momento más "revelador", se me ha quedado corto de intensidad. no sé.
bueno, no quería ser yo quien dijera cosas malas de este libro, tengo mucha admiración a kae tempest y ojalá escriba muchas más novelas con personajes queer en el centro!
Read
June 13, 2026And while I am completely engulfed in my sadness, I am happy to sense that you exist, beautiful one. I am happy to have flung myself without fear into your beauty just as a bird flings itself into space. I am happy, dear, to have walked with steady faith on the waters of our uncertainty all the way to that island which is your heart and where pain blossoms. Finally: happy.
—Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Ulrich Baer
*
Time passes and passes. It passes backward and it passes forward and it carries you along, and no one in the whole wide world knows more about time than this: it is carrying you through an element you do not understand into an element you will not remember. Yet, something remembers - it can even be said that something avenges: the trap of our century, and the subject now before us.
—James Baldwin
without searching out titles specifically to celebrate Pride, this is my fifth related book to read this month & the most powerful. so glad it was selected for Service95’s book club June pick, as that’s how it got on my radar (& quite surprised to only see one gr friend having noted it as “want to read”… at least so far) & definitely recommend.
—Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Ulrich Baer
*
Time passes and passes. It passes backward and it passes forward and it carries you along, and no one in the whole wide world knows more about time than this: it is carrying you through an element you do not understand into an element you will not remember. Yet, something remembers - it can even be said that something avenges: the trap of our century, and the subject now before us.
—James Baldwin
without searching out titles specifically to celebrate Pride, this is my fifth related book to read this month & the most powerful. so glad it was selected for Service95’s book club June pick, as that’s how it got on my radar (& quite surprised to only see one gr friend having noted it as “want to read”… at least so far) & definitely recommend.
June 29, 2026
great recommendation from the queen of book clubs herself. Dua Lipa did not disappoint!! Really liked reading it, especially the end. Solid 3.5 to 4 ⭐️
August 4, 2026
Having Spent Life Seeking doesn’t feel like it should be a tender novel. Its protagonist, Rothko, is newly out of prison and trying to build a life out of the rubble of their past.
Despite seemingly everything going against them — their history of substance abuse and the decisions that brought them to incarceration, their troubled childhood and family, the uncertainty of their gender identity and the discrimination they faced, their unstable housing and employment situation — Rothko is determined to make a fresh start, and to make it stick.
This is a novel about life in its ugliness and in its beauty, and Kae Tempest’s poetic writing crafts a story that wrenches and uplifts the heart, often simultaneously. I wasn’t familiar with Tempest’s work prior to reading this novel, but he is most known as a spoken-word performer, and there is a section in one chapter in this novel where that is particularly clear. This section, and the other moments in which the narrative really finds a rhythm, were my favorites for the way they blended form and emotion into the narrative.
Where the novel struggles a bit is when it takes us away from Rothko’s perspective. There are a few chapters that slip into the POVs of other characters. And while these characters are interesting enough, they did not offer the same beautiful complexity as did the protagonist, and I mourned any page that pulled us away from Rothko’s mind.
Despite seemingly everything going against them — their history of substance abuse and the decisions that brought them to incarceration, their troubled childhood and family, the uncertainty of their gender identity and the discrimination they faced, their unstable housing and employment situation — Rothko is determined to make a fresh start, and to make it stick.
This is a novel about life in its ugliness and in its beauty, and Kae Tempest’s poetic writing crafts a story that wrenches and uplifts the heart, often simultaneously. I wasn’t familiar with Tempest’s work prior to reading this novel, but he is most known as a spoken-word performer, and there is a section in one chapter in this novel where that is particularly clear. This section, and the other moments in which the narrative really finds a rhythm, were my favorites for the way they blended form and emotion into the narrative.
Where the novel struggles a bit is when it takes us away from Rothko’s perspective. There are a few chapters that slip into the POVs of other characters. And while these characters are interesting enough, they did not offer the same beautiful complexity as did the protagonist, and I mourned any page that pulled us away from Rothko’s mind.
August 8, 2026
"Como puede ser que una cosa tan etérea como la vida pese tanto la mayor parte del tiempo"
Habiendo escuchado a Kae Tempest hablar de su infancia y adolescencia en Inglaterra y habiendo visto el camino transformador que ha recorrido su vida los últimos años, no puedo evitar preguntarme cuántas de estas reflexiones han llegado a Tempest en Los momentos que más las necesitaba, igual que con su protagonista.
Un libro profundamente personal, lleno de compasión y esperanza, capaz de ver más allá del dolor y comprender, pero no por ello olvidar. Lejos de una simplicidad de aceptación sin condiciones, Tempest acepta sombras y luces, pero es capaz de dejar atrás aquello que impide el crecimiento.
Ciertamente un libro que me hubiera encantado encontrar en diferentes momentos de mi vida.
Habiendo escuchado a Kae Tempest hablar de su infancia y adolescencia en Inglaterra y habiendo visto el camino transformador que ha recorrido su vida los últimos años, no puedo evitar preguntarme cuántas de estas reflexiones han llegado a Tempest en Los momentos que más las necesitaba, igual que con su protagonista.
Un libro profundamente personal, lleno de compasión y esperanza, capaz de ver más allá del dolor y comprender, pero no por ello olvidar. Lejos de una simplicidad de aceptación sin condiciones, Tempest acepta sombras y luces, pero es capaz de dejar atrás aquello que impide el crecimiento.
Ciertamente un libro que me hubiera encantado encontrar en diferentes momentos de mi vida.
August 5, 2026
The poetic chapter was crazy good.
“They came close to wipeout time after time, but something always pulled them back before the soul began to climb.”
“How could a thing as weightless as life be so fucking heavy so much of the time”
August 26, 2026
literally one of the best books I've ever read in my whole life
feelings were felt
tears were shed
characters were related to
prose was flawless
*insert meme of the small chick saying 'don't even joke lad'*
feelings were felt
tears were shed
characters were related to
prose was flawless
*insert meme of the small chick saying 'don't even joke lad'*
July 10, 2026
Este es un libro, donde lo primero que llamó mi atención fue que el pronombre del protagonista era neutral (elle). Y, si bien el relato acompaña a Rothko, un personaje no binario, estamos frente a una historia universal de búsqueda del lugar en el mundo, una búsqueda que se repite en cada personaje presente: la madre, el padre, la hermana, el amigo, la amiga, etc.
Una vida buscando se divide en tres partes y con ellas te das el tiempo de encariñarte, y vivir este ambiente gris, lluvioso y frío inglés, y aprovechar todo el calor de lo humano de cada uno de los participantes. Un libro que en su transcurso anduvo bien, pero que el final conquistó mi corazón para lograr las 5 estrellas.
Muy recomendado.
Un dato no menor, el autor es además poeta y rapero 👀
Una vida buscando se divide en tres partes y con ellas te das el tiempo de encariñarte, y vivir este ambiente gris, lluvioso y frío inglés, y aprovechar todo el calor de lo humano de cada uno de los participantes. Un libro que en su transcurso anduvo bien, pero que el final conquistó mi corazón para lograr las 5 estrellas.
Muy recomendado.
Un dato no menor, el autor es además poeta y rapero 👀
September 16, 2026
Really devastating and beautiful. Ali Smith called it powerful and merciful on the back cover and I'd agree with that, there was a wonderful element of mercy and hope that filtered through. Gorgeous.
June 25, 2026
creo que es el mejor libro que he leído en mi vida
July 10, 2026
A beautiful reminder that we are far more than our worst moments. Another W for Dua Lipa’s book club <3
March 22, 2026
This was such a deeply moving, raw, emotional read. It’s a story, both captivating and heart-wrenching, which explores gender identity with empathy and sensitivity.
It’s a character-driven novel which follows Rothko - using the pronouns they/their. The narrative takes us on a journey where Rothko struggles to find their true self amidst a world where acceptance does not come easy, if at all.
It begins in 2026, when Rothko has been out of jail for six months; after spending 15 years in there. It explores their time in prison; how the world has changed during those 15 years; and their reflections on the past. What comes across is Rothko’s vulnerability and I was rooting for them, even before I knew why they had been in prison.
The second part goes back to 2006, and we find out about Rothko’s earlier years; the unstable family and school life; and the exploration of their sexuality. It’s a tough read in places, and really made me reflect on how it can be so easy to judge someone just by the way they look. The frustration and indecision in Rothko’s mind is clear to see, and you just want someone to step in and give them a helping hand.
It’s also a beautiful love story; about being who you want to be, and finding your people - those who will accept you for whoever you want to be. I thought it was a beautifully written piece of literary fiction which explores gender identity in a compassionate way.
I was sent a proof of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
It’s a character-driven novel which follows Rothko - using the pronouns they/their. The narrative takes us on a journey where Rothko struggles to find their true self amidst a world where acceptance does not come easy, if at all.
It begins in 2026, when Rothko has been out of jail for six months; after spending 15 years in there. It explores their time in prison; how the world has changed during those 15 years; and their reflections on the past. What comes across is Rothko’s vulnerability and I was rooting for them, even before I knew why they had been in prison.
The second part goes back to 2006, and we find out about Rothko’s earlier years; the unstable family and school life; and the exploration of their sexuality. It’s a tough read in places, and really made me reflect on how it can be so easy to judge someone just by the way they look. The frustration and indecision in Rothko’s mind is clear to see, and you just want someone to step in and give them a helping hand.
It’s also a beautiful love story; about being who you want to be, and finding your people - those who will accept you for whoever you want to be. I thought it was a beautifully written piece of literary fiction which explores gender identity in a compassionate way.
I was sent a proof of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
May 13, 2026
Fantastic, beautiful, stunning story. Kae tempest knows life in all its ugliness and beauty.
August 31, 2026
Såg Kae Tempest på Louisiana Literature och blev totalt besatt och sprang för att köpa boken. Att jag missat honom! Boken är fantastisk vacker och hemsk. Den är skriven med sådan omsorg för varje karaktär även om de alla har sina… så kallade tillkortakommanden. Kan varmt varmt rekommendera (även hans låtar).
”Ezra had given up on life in the same way that Meg had. lt’s just the life he had given up on was the deep life of the soul, and the life she had given up on was the real life of the world. Neither was less hurt by what they'd turned their backs on. It's just the world forgave one more easily than it forgave the other.”
”Back then, life felt like it could have gone a million ways. But from where they were standing now, it looked like it could only ever have gone the way it went.”
”Ezra had given up on life in the same way that Meg had. lt’s just the life he had given up on was the deep life of the soul, and the life she had given up on was the real life of the world. Neither was less hurt by what they'd turned their backs on. It's just the world forgave one more easily than it forgave the other.”
”Back then, life felt like it could have gone a million ways. But from where they were standing now, it looked like it could only ever have gone the way it went.”
July 7, 2026
Where to begin
I feel like I’m always saying things are visceral or emotive or lyrical but this really was genuinely all those things the most ever.
The first 10-15pages really blew me away - just every word was perfect and so thought of - can really see how it took him 10years to write.
Just amazing
I think coz I know his lyrics and songs and voice so much I could hear that throughout and really felt his voice and rhythm and it felt familiar in a lovely way. Defo could hear know yourself and hold your own and grace throughout this!
Just such attention to little simple details that make it all feel so real and imaginable like I really properly saw and understood everything
‘Sarai stood outside the hospital and pushed the back of her head against the wall. Felt the gristle of bricks against her skull and exhaled as long as she could’
I think I also read this at a time when I was feeling lots of gratitude and perspectives on the hard and good of life: ‘Rothko opened their palms to catch the raindrops, watched the water bouncing out of the cup of their hands. Focused on what was really there. ‘Thank you,’ they said to the rain as it bounced. There was so much to be grateful for’
‘until…they were pinned down by an ugly sleep’ lovely
And all the trans queer stuff and the way that was done was bloody beautiful n so natural and realistic and stripped back in a lovely way
Really made me go back and listen to a lot of his music and read the lyrics through again which has been lovely
There’s more I wanna say about the end sections but spoilers!
P.S Audiobook of this plz?
I feel like I’m always saying things are visceral or emotive or lyrical but this really was genuinely all those things the most ever.
The first 10-15pages really blew me away - just every word was perfect and so thought of - can really see how it took him 10years to write.
Just amazing
I think coz I know his lyrics and songs and voice so much I could hear that throughout and really felt his voice and rhythm and it felt familiar in a lovely way. Defo could hear know yourself and hold your own and grace throughout this!
Just such attention to little simple details that make it all feel so real and imaginable like I really properly saw and understood everything
‘Sarai stood outside the hospital and pushed the back of her head against the wall. Felt the gristle of bricks against her skull and exhaled as long as she could’
I think I also read this at a time when I was feeling lots of gratitude and perspectives on the hard and good of life: ‘Rothko opened their palms to catch the raindrops, watched the water bouncing out of the cup of their hands. Focused on what was really there. ‘Thank you,’ they said to the rain as it bounced. There was so much to be grateful for’
‘until…they were pinned down by an ugly sleep’ lovely
And all the trans queer stuff and the way that was done was bloody beautiful n so natural and realistic and stripped back in a lovely way
Really made me go back and listen to a lot of his music and read the lyrics through again which has been lovely
There’s more I wanna say about the end sections but spoilers!
P.S Audiobook of this plz?
August 3, 2026
There were some parts of this I liked; the story was interesting and quite unique, and the characters felt real and were likeable.
My main gripe was the writing style. Bitty sentences made it hard to read with flow and I just couldn't connect to it at all, which made enjoying it as a whole difficult. Totally can see why some love this but just wasn't for me.
My main gripe was the writing style. Bitty sentences made it hard to read with flow and I just couldn't connect to it at all, which made enjoying it as a whole difficult. Totally can see why some love this but just wasn't for me.
August 6, 2026
Te’ls acabes estimant tant. En Rothko, la Dionne, en Fletcher.
August 15, 2026
Best book I’ve read this year. 100/10.
August 30, 2026
i have spent life waiting for kae tempest writing another novel. this story moved me, but at times i found it too fast, wanted to linger in the thoughts and moments with the main character for longer, to get a better feeling for him.
July 13, 2026
Kaunis kirja, joka opettaa, että ihmiset on enemmän kuin kauhein hetki heidän elämästä. Tykkäsin myös, miten kirjasta voi lukea päähenkilön kasvun ja miten perhe on voinut siihen vaikuttaa⭐️
Displaying 1 - 30 of 195 reviews