Moral of the Story: Wear sunscreen. Also, watch Pretty Little Liars. It will help you detect when someone's not who they say they are.
Body Count: 2
The Usual Suspect(s): Marla and "Ghost Boy" aka Daniel
Tagline: The Perfect Tan... or the Perfect Murder?
Plot: So please forgive me if I forget what happens to whom. It's all so quick (146 pages!) and also there's not a lot of room for character development in that time.
We open with our protagonist, Claudia, buried alive. She's a redhead and the sun is killing her, zapping her energy where she can't move. She vaguely recalls where she is and why she's there. She was having a reunion with Camp Full Moon pals Sophie, Jill, and Marla. They are all at Marla's estate in Summerhaven. But if they all came to meet up, then why is Claudia being left for dead? And now the tide is coming in... Claudia says her goodbyes but, come on, it's page 5 or whatever so we know this isn't the end for her (though what a nice twist if it was!). All at once a boy named Daniel comes to her rescue and walks her back to Marla's house. He also seems to know the code to get into the estate. But just as she tries to introduce him to her friends, Daniel disappears.
Marla tells them all that he was a ghost. She weaves a fabulous story about a ghost in the guest house, and all three girls are enraptured by her tale. Then Marla breaks the magic and tells them it was all a joke! But Claudia is confused... who IS Daniel then? Dinner arrives and with it the sound of Joy screaming. There is a worm on her lettuce leaf. Basically the only thing we learn about Joy is that she is the drama queen of the group, and she REALLY hates bugs.
So far these couple of weird incidents don't spark alarm, but things get weirder. As they are leaving to head out one night (or day? who knows) Sophie goes to open the fence but gets an electrical shock. She is very badly shaken but insists that she is all right. The girls head out anyway and go to the local carnival. There they run into Carl and Dean, (whom they met previously on Marla's beach) and whom Sophie and Joy immediately snuggle up to. Marla is having none of it, however. She cannot stand the idea of getting close to them. Weird much, Marla? Claudia decides it would be better if she goes off on her own instead of getting involved in that mess, so she wanders near the ferris wheel and... lo and behold! It's Ghost Boy! Daniel shows up and suggests they ride the ferris wheel together. He hears Claudia call him a ghost and thinks it's hilarious and plays it up for all its worth (he runs it into the ground, to be honest). As they get to the top of the ferris wheel, it stops (why I won't ride them!), and they take in the view. But, suddenly, Daniel jokingly reaches out to grab the moon, rocking the car and plunging to his death!
No, he doesn't. But way to make absolutely sure I never ever again consider the ferris wheel a viable ride option, RL Stine. Instead Claudia flashes back in her head to the previous summer at Camp Full Moon and the cryptic situation with Marla's sister, Alison, that she and Sophie and Joy have been alluding to. Marla hated Alison, and it seems Alison was quite the jerk. What is it with girls named Alison, anyway? Alison comes in to bother the girls, and Marla tells her to leave them alone. But she won't, so Marla gives Alison a Truth or Dare, and Alison picks dare. Marla dares Alison to cross Grizzly Gorge at night... knowing full well that Alison is afraid of heights. It's a log stretching across a river, but Alison agrees to do it. When they go out to watch her, Marla gets stopped by the head counselor, Caroline, but the other girls carry on. When they arrive they plead and plead with Alison not to do it, but she won't be swayed. Their little game of Dare is interrupted, however, when they see flashlights and hear voices. The girls scatter, knowing that Alison is about to fall but doing nothing to help her. They assume (probably rightfully) that Alison plunged to her death that night, as her bloody t-shirt is found the next day.
The next crazy incident to happen at Marla's estate involves Joy again. She wakes everyone up in the middle of the night with her screaming about leeches on her arm (this is possibly the grossest thing ever). The girls, at this point, are convinced that someone broke in and is after them, but Marla isn't so sure. She's positive there's no way anyone could get in... but Claudia knows that Daniel knows the gate code. Everyone else still thinks he's a ghost, so they pay Claudia no mind.
Despite all these goings on, the girls decide the next day it would be a grand idea to go waterskiing. Every time they go outside Claudia has to slather herself in sunscreen because of her massive burn from being "buried alive." Sophie decides to try waterskiing first. Massive, massive idiots these girls are. Of course everything is fine... for a millisecond. Then Sophie gets pulled into the riptide but doesn't raise her right arm to signal that she's okay. Meanwhile, Marla's boat stalls, because of course it does. Claudia is a better friend than Joy or Marla, because she quickly dives into the water to save Sophie. She tries to avoid the riptide but gets caught in it anyway, and she convinces herself, once again, that she's going to die. What a stressful weekend this is! But along come Carl and Dean - again! They have already saved Sophie and quickly pull Claudia out of the water. Back on the shore, Marla is begrudgingly grateful to them. But as they go away Claudia notices something odd about the rope attached to the boat. It's been cut! Marla thinks Carl and Dean are to blame. But Sophie, Joy, and Claudia have other ideas.
They all congregate back at Marla's estate, and while Marla is away the girls begin whispering. Joy (or Sophie?) thinks Marla must be behind all of this. As she points out, it's possible that Marla knows they could have saved Alison but did nothing to help her. Thus, she is out for revenge. It seems likely, but by this point I already knew the real twist (because I watch Pretty Little Liars, natch). The girls know they need to leave, but their parents can't come until the day after. That leaves one more day filled with "accidents" and boy, hot damn!, RL Stine does not disappoint.
Claudia goes for a run the next morning (I've given up asking why at this point) in the bird sanctuary. But halfway through her run, she notices that there aren't any... well... birds. No sounds. Nothing. Something must have scared them off. Something like... an irish wolfhound? Yes, because that's the dog that's after her now. Claudia runs towards the water, because what else can she do? She's underestimating the fact that dogs don't really hate water like cats do, though, and the wolfhound keeps pursuing her. It bites into her leg which begins stinging like crazy because she's in saltwater. I mean, all this is quite enough shenanigans for one book or a lifetime, really, but we aren't done yet! Because now Claudia sees a shark. Yes. I'm not joking. The only thing she can think is to move her arms in smooth motions so as not to attract too much attention (though I'm sure the gaping wound in her leg will do the job just fine). Not to worry, though, Claud! The shark bites into the dog, turning the ocean red around her. Then, in what is perhaps the most sick-fuck piece of writing he's ever given us, RL describes how a piece of the dog floats up around Claudia. So if Jaws didn't officially fuck you up for life...
Marla rescues Claudia from the water. Claudia tries to explain everything, but it doesn't matter because I don't think God himself would believe her. Also, Marla doesn't really care about anyone, so there's that. Once Claudia gets back, all she can do is tell Sophie that they must escape, like, now! But Joy has gone out with Dean (or Carl) and isn't home. They wait for her because they don't really have a choice and once she gets back Claudia tells them that they HAVE to leave Summerhaven. She is positive now that Marla IS trying to kill them (the Irish wolfhound was hers). They go to the fence but Claudia reminds them it is electrified. So they decide to go around to the guest house, even though a storm is brewing and they know they don't really have a way out. When they come to the shed, they notice an odor permeating the air. The odor belongs to a human body. The body of... Marla! What?
Strange, isn't it then, that Marla soon after comes up behind them. The girls are baffled AF, but I wasn't. Because Pretty Little Liars taught me that no one is ever really dead. Especially not people named Alison. And surprise, bitches! That's who it is. Of course she faked dead to everyone else and went to live with the family that rescued her because she hated her own family. She saw Marla laughing at her on the log, and she never forgave the girls for not trying to save her. So she invited the girls to the estate to get her revenge, and she killed Marla as soon as she showed up. Chaos and fighting ensue, but Alison flees to the electrical fence. Claudia tries to tell her that it's electrified, but Alison won't listen. She touches it and fries to death... not escaping like lucky Sophie. Just then Daniel aka "Ghost Boy" shows up AGAIN and proves to Joy and Sophie that he's real. Turns out he's the butler's son but didn't want to cost his dad his job, so he had to be vague. All's well that ends well... except for Marla and Alison, I suppose, who seemed to have a family about as fucked up as the DiLaurentises.
Gaping Plot Holes: Would a shark really eat a dog but spare the girl whose leg is bleeding everywhere?
The Actual Suspect(s): Alison, Marla's not-so-dead little sister