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Breaking Vegan: One Woman's Journey from Veganism, Extreme Dieting, and Orthorexia to a More Balanced Life
Finding balance in life is a goal many of us strive to achieve. Whether it's through a healthy diet, exercise regimen, state of mind, relationship, or other activity (or all of the above), we spend our days trying to be, and become, our best selves. But what happens when all that focus starts to dominate our lives? When our desire for "perfect health" trumps everything else, perhaps without us even realizing it? What happens when our solution starts becoming the problem ? These are questions that author and popular blogger Jordan Younger faced when she decided that her extreme, plant-based lifestyle just wasn't working in favor of her health anymore--and questions that you may be facing too. In Breaking Vegan , Jordan reveals how obsessive "healthy" dieting eventually led her to a diagnosis of orthorexia , or a focus on healthy food that involves other emotional factors and ultimately becomes dysfunctional, even dangerous. In candid detail, Jordan shares what it was like to leave veganism, the downfall of her desire to achieve nutritional perfection, and how she ultimately found her way to recovery. In addition to this, Jordan outlines an "anti-diet," whole-foods-based eating plan featuring more than 25 recipes to help inspire others to find similar balance in their own lives. Breaking Vegan is about tolerance and forgiveness. And ultimately, forging one's own path toward happiness.
208 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2015
11 people are currently reading
316 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
November 29, 2015
Breaking Idiot: One Woman's Journey From Starving, To Blaming Veganism, To Making Money From Misinformation To a More Fame-Seeking Life.
Beyond infinitely dreadful- I present to you the book which was never about veganism since she was on a plant based DIET, not a vegan LIFESTYLE. Actual scenario: Deprived herself of nutrients with a juice cleanse by starving herself. But I guess terminologies change when you need to write a book that sounds more appealing and will attract more readers.
Must I say more? -10/10. But 1 point for the ability to completely fool people and actually fabricate a book from utter lies.
Beyond infinitely dreadful- I present to you the book which was never about veganism since she was on a plant based DIET, not a vegan LIFESTYLE. Actual scenario: Deprived herself of nutrients with a juice cleanse by starving herself. But I guess terminologies change when you need to write a book that sounds more appealing and will attract more readers.
Must I say more? -10/10. But 1 point for the ability to completely fool people and actually fabricate a book from utter lies.
November 24, 2015
This book should be called Breaking Orthorexia, not Breaking Vegan. I honestly can't believe she blamed veganism for her blatant eating disorder. Eating only 800 calories a day and juice fasting has nothing to do with being a vegan. You can under eat in any lifestyle, even if you eat meat and dairy.
This book has done nothing but push back the progress of getting a plantbased diet recognized and respected. Not to mention how it's now swaying potential vegans away from the lifestyle if they believe this garbage. What Jordan ignorantly didn't think of, are all the millions of animals who die for food everyday, the state of the environment and the planet, the millions of starving people around the world, the millions of people dying from health related illnesses - all of which benefit from someone choosing not to eat meat, dairy and eggs. At the end of the day for vegans, it's not about ourselves. It's about both animals and humans and sadly once again because of this book, people will accuse us of being self-righteous and uneducated about health.
This book has done nothing but push back the progress of getting a plantbased diet recognized and respected. Not to mention how it's now swaying potential vegans away from the lifestyle if they believe this garbage. What Jordan ignorantly didn't think of, are all the millions of animals who die for food everyday, the state of the environment and the planet, the millions of starving people around the world, the millions of people dying from health related illnesses - all of which benefit from someone choosing not to eat meat, dairy and eggs. At the end of the day for vegans, it's not about ourselves. It's about both animals and humans and sadly once again because of this book, people will accuse us of being self-righteous and uneducated about health.
November 24, 2015
This book should be called Breaking Orthorexia, not Breaking Vegan. I honestly can't believe she blamed veganism for her blatant eating disorder. Eating only 800 calories a day and juice fasting has nothing to do with being a vegan. You can under eat in any lifestyle, even if you eat meat and dairy.
This book has done nothing but push back the progress of getting a plantbased diet recognized and respected. Not to mention how it's now swaying potential vegans away from the lifestyle if they believe this garbage. What Jordan ignorantly didn't think of, are all the millions of animals who die for food everyday, the state of the environment and the planet, the millions of starving people around the world, the millions of people dying from health related illnesses - all of which benefit from someone choosing not to eat meat, dairy and eggs. At the end of the day for vegans, it's not about ourselves. It's about both animals and humans and sadly once again because of this book, people will accuse us of being self-righteous and uneducated about health.
This book has done nothing but push back the progress of getting a plantbased diet recognized and respected. Not to mention how it's now swaying potential vegans away from the lifestyle if they believe this garbage. What Jordan ignorantly didn't think of, are all the millions of animals who die for food everyday, the state of the environment and the planet, the millions of starving people around the world, the millions of people dying from health related illnesses - all of which benefit from someone choosing not to eat meat, dairy and eggs. At the end of the day for vegans, it's not about ourselves. It's about both animals and humans and sadly once again because of this book, people will accuse us of being self-righteous and uneducated about health.
August 25, 2016
I love the cover -- it's so bright and vibrant! And I love these slick pages and beautiful photographs that make me feel like I'm reading a really expensive magazine.
Beyond that, everything else about this book was terrible. Maybe this casual, shallow writing style works great for a blog -- but it feels a bit stupid in a book.
And Breaking Vegan? Why not just call it Breaking Orthorexia? Nobody "broke vegan" (veganism? The title feels like awkward, bad grammar) Juice cleanses and starvation diets have absolutely NOTHING to do with veganism -- so it seems irresponsible to position the book in such a way that it seems like the vegan diet was the cause of Younger's woes. I'm sure plenty of people will casually see the cover at the book store and assume that it has a completely different premise than what's inside.
Beyond that, everything else about this book was terrible. Maybe this casual, shallow writing style works great for a blog -- but it feels a bit stupid in a book.
And Breaking Vegan? Why not just call it Breaking Orthorexia? Nobody "broke vegan" (veganism? The title feels like awkward, bad grammar) Juice cleanses and starvation diets have absolutely NOTHING to do with veganism -- so it seems irresponsible to position the book in such a way that it seems like the vegan diet was the cause of Younger's woes. I'm sure plenty of people will casually see the cover at the book store and assume that it has a completely different premise than what's inside.
February 5, 2017
It seems there are a lot of negative reviews here from the vegan community (I might even say the vegan police). The presence of those reviews alone seems proof to me that Jordan Younger chose exactly the right title for her book.
Breaking Vegan tells the story of Jordan's journey. What begins as Jordan's effort to eat more healthfully with a vegan diet spirals into a struggle with the eating disorder called orthorexia nervosa (a disorder which she names openly, starting with the foreword to the book, written by Dr. Steven Bratman, who originally coined the term "orthorexia."). Not once does Jordan blame veganism for her orthorexia or even come close to saying that veganism is a bad way of eating across the board. She includes plenty of vegan recipes at the end of the book, and clearly has not wandered too far away from a plant-based diet/lifestyle. However, for her, breaking out of her orthorexia also meant saying goodbye to the strict vegan diet she thought would make her healthy. For Jordan healing herself from eating disorder not only meant including some chicken in her diet from time to time, it also meant leaving a vegan community and confessing to the many followers of her blog that she could not be a vegan anymore - a brave act on her part, for which she has my full support!
The book itself is written in a very easy-to-read, conversational, blog-like style. I identified very much with Jordan's story, as I went on a similar journey myself, though not to the extremes that she went to. In an effort to become healthier I too pursued many restrictive diets (and repetitive "cleanses") that were not right for me or my body, and that ultimately wound up damaging my relationship with food and making me unhealthier overall. It's taken time to establish healthier patterns with food and view health in a more holistic way. As a health coach I now know that no one way of eating is right for every person. Many people will thrive on a vegan diet, and that's great for them! Others might not, and that doesn't mean that they are bad people or less healthy. Those with extreme A-type personalities (like Jordan) might need to avoid overly restrictive dogmatic diets entirely (like "clean eating," paleo, or even vegetarianism), as they can lead to disordered eating patterns. Jordan says pretty much the same thing in her book, and I'm glad she is willing to shed light on an uncomfortable truth that often gets overlooked in communities of those following a "health" diet.
I am very grateful to Jordan Younger for telling her story in this open, honest, thoughtful book. She handles the subject matter gracefully, and I appreciate her courage and willingness to share her story and truth with an audience that (as shown in the reviews for this book) is not always open-minded or receptive to stories that challenge their world view.
Breaking Vegan tells the story of Jordan's journey. What begins as Jordan's effort to eat more healthfully with a vegan diet spirals into a struggle with the eating disorder called orthorexia nervosa (a disorder which she names openly, starting with the foreword to the book, written by Dr. Steven Bratman, who originally coined the term "orthorexia."). Not once does Jordan blame veganism for her orthorexia or even come close to saying that veganism is a bad way of eating across the board. She includes plenty of vegan recipes at the end of the book, and clearly has not wandered too far away from a plant-based diet/lifestyle. However, for her, breaking out of her orthorexia also meant saying goodbye to the strict vegan diet she thought would make her healthy. For Jordan healing herself from eating disorder not only meant including some chicken in her diet from time to time, it also meant leaving a vegan community and confessing to the many followers of her blog that she could not be a vegan anymore - a brave act on her part, for which she has my full support!
The book itself is written in a very easy-to-read, conversational, blog-like style. I identified very much with Jordan's story, as I went on a similar journey myself, though not to the extremes that she went to. In an effort to become healthier I too pursued many restrictive diets (and repetitive "cleanses") that were not right for me or my body, and that ultimately wound up damaging my relationship with food and making me unhealthier overall. It's taken time to establish healthier patterns with food and view health in a more holistic way. As a health coach I now know that no one way of eating is right for every person. Many people will thrive on a vegan diet, and that's great for them! Others might not, and that doesn't mean that they are bad people or less healthy. Those with extreme A-type personalities (like Jordan) might need to avoid overly restrictive dogmatic diets entirely (like "clean eating," paleo, or even vegetarianism), as they can lead to disordered eating patterns. Jordan says pretty much the same thing in her book, and I'm glad she is willing to shed light on an uncomfortable truth that often gets overlooked in communities of those following a "health" diet.
I am very grateful to Jordan Younger for telling her story in this open, honest, thoughtful book. She handles the subject matter gracefully, and I appreciate her courage and willingness to share her story and truth with an audience that (as shown in the reviews for this book) is not always open-minded or receptive to stories that challenge their world view.
January 15, 2025
I really wanted to give this book a fair chance however as I read "Breaking Vegan," I realized that this book is misguided in it's focus and instead of putting the author's unhealthy food relationship at the forefront of this book, she instead puts all the focus on veganism and paints veganism as an unhealthy diet followed by uninformed people. I feel like this book is less about veganism and more about the author justifying why she's no longer vegan. As I read the book about the juice cleanses which made up her diet, I wasn't surprised that she developed an eating disorder. Regardless of whatever diet you follow, you should employ moderation and balance of healthy food and unhealthy food.
While I applaud her for speaking her truth and realize that veganism isn't for everyone, she needs to put her orthorexia eating disorder as the main idea and not imply that due to her veganism, she developed an eating disorder when in reality, her disordered eating was increased as she moved from one extreme diet to another.
While I applaud her for speaking her truth and realize that veganism isn't for everyone, she needs to put her orthorexia eating disorder as the main idea and not imply that due to her veganism, she developed an eating disorder when in reality, her disordered eating was increased as she moved from one extreme diet to another.
May 24, 2018
Well you can't help stupid.
Veganism can be healthy or it can be unhealthy, but it is generally not extreme.
What was extreme was this stupid woman who didn't understand basic nutritional information.
She also can't write.
Don't waste your energy on this.
Veganism can be healthy or it can be unhealthy, but it is generally not extreme.
What was extreme was this stupid woman who didn't understand basic nutritional information.
She also can't write.
Don't waste your energy on this.
June 5, 2016
This feels like the sort of thing where the publisher is relying on the formatting to make the book appealing—glossy pages, photos (of a smiley, happy-looking blonde working out or cavorting along a beach with a big basket of veggies) sprinkled throughout, lots of sidebars and quotations to break up the monotony of...text. I suspect that the structure is also engineered to make the book seem longer. None of this is a big deal, except that a lot of the photos are really obviously from a photo shoot, which makes the whole thing feel very staged.
Younger's story has less to do with veganism than it does with orthorexia; although she used veganism to fuel her eating disorder, it sounds as though veganism wasn't—and she's aware that it wasn't—a problem in and of itself. Younger still has a product (her blog, her cleanses, her clothing line, etc.) to shill, so there's a lot of treading carefully to try not to offend anyone (a bit of a doomed attempt, given what she says about the Internet hatred she got for dropping veganism...and given some of the other reviews I've seen). I'm very much of the 'do what works for you' camp and decidedly unimpressed by the investment people seem to have in somebody else's diet, so I'm not interested in commenting on that end of things, but as a book this really didn't do much for me. Maybe this is unfair, but the whole thing feels more like a product than a thoughtfully structured memoir.
Younger's story has less to do with veganism than it does with orthorexia; although she used veganism to fuel her eating disorder, it sounds as though veganism wasn't—and she's aware that it wasn't—a problem in and of itself. Younger still has a product (her blog, her cleanses, her clothing line, etc.) to shill, so there's a lot of treading carefully to try not to offend anyone (a bit of a doomed attempt, given what she says about the Internet hatred she got for dropping veganism...and given some of the other reviews I've seen). I'm very much of the 'do what works for you' camp and decidedly unimpressed by the investment people seem to have in somebody else's diet, so I'm not interested in commenting on that end of things, but as a book this really didn't do much for me. Maybe this is unfair, but the whole thing feels more like a product than a thoughtfully structured memoir.
October 20, 2018
I recently discovered the author's blog, The Balanced Blonde, and have really enjoyed reading about her attempts to resolve her health problems. Her blog persona is very sweet and sincere, so I was curious to read her book about her previous struggles with an eating disorder. I think that having already read her blog helped me enjoy the book as much as I did; if I'd just picked up the book at random, I might have been put off by the chatty, informal writing style and slick presentation. Not to mention the unfortunate title, which makes it sound like she's pulling a Lierre Keith and bashing veganism across the board. She's not. She's describing how she developed an eating disorder and had to let go of labels and restricted eating in order to heal. (For the record, I am pro-vegan, and this book did not offend me at all.)
While the book could have benefited from depth or thoughtful analysis (it feels very much like a long blog post), I found it to be an excellent depiction of how insidiously a desire to eat "healthy" food can morph into a miserable round of fear and restriction, a.k.a., an eating disorder. And Jordan's voice comes across as being kind and supportive. However, I would add one caveat: at times, when she writes about her desire to be "tinier" and get compliments for weight loss, the book feels a bit triggering, so readers who are actively struggling with disordered eating might want to give it a miss.
While the book could have benefited from depth or thoughtful analysis (it feels very much like a long blog post), I found it to be an excellent depiction of how insidiously a desire to eat "healthy" food can morph into a miserable round of fear and restriction, a.k.a., an eating disorder. And Jordan's voice comes across as being kind and supportive. However, I would add one caveat: at times, when she writes about her desire to be "tinier" and get compliments for weight loss, the book feels a bit triggering, so readers who are actively struggling with disordered eating might want to give it a miss.
October 26, 2016
A lot of people who wrote reviews on this book DID NOT ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK. Jordan is incredibly brave to come out and talk about her eating disorder so we all can learn. I am a happily practicing vegan but support people eating in a way that makes them feel healthy. It sounds like she still eats a lot of vegan meals and now has just incorporated a few other things into her diet. You absolutely can be a vegan and get all of the nutrients that you need but Jordan wasn't able to be a methodical, balanced vegan. It takes planning and a lot of dedication and focus! She doesn't blame veganism for her situation and some of these other reviews are just ridiculous. I would give her 5 stars for her bravery, but giving 4 because her writing is kind of terrible at times. It feels like an extended blog post and she uses pretty informal language at times. I see how that technique could be used to build a rapport with the readers, but it wasn't for me. I think she will grow as a writer if she keeps working at it, but bravo for being 25 and going after your dreams!
December 21, 2019
I was about to rate this 2 star, but then I googled Jordan Younger and ... she's vegan again? So she didn't even "break veganism" because she's back at it.
I don't have a problem with veganism. I myself am vegetarian, with some vegan days (it's really hard to fully transition with my lifestyle where I live). I know for a fact that it can be a sustainable lifestyle that is a win-win for the planet, the animals, and yourself. But I also know that juice cleanses and fasts are not healthy veganism. That's disordered.
I would be slightly happier with this book if she titled it "Breaking Orthorexia". She and fans of hers will say, "Oh, but there's a disclaimer in the beginning of the book." Yeah, a miniscule disclaimer that you literally have to put on glasses/hold up to the light to see is not adequate, especially compared to the massive title.
Also, for someone who has struggled with eating disorders/disordered eating (orthorexia is not actually a diagnosis yet, so she might have gotten OSFED) Younger is wicked insensitive to those struggling with them. She mentions her weight fluctuations on practically every page, and she talks about how concerned her family was in a bragging sense? Like she was proud that they were worried about her.
And for someone who has embraced eating balanced, who CHANGED HER NAME to "balanced blonde" she is ... not eating very balanced. Normal people do not eat all whole foods, quinoa for breakfast, kale regularly. But her recipes in the back read like someone obsessed with pure eating (which is what orthorexia is). It's all whole foods, organic crap you'd buy at Trader Joe's. Not only is this unrealistic, but it's pretty rigid. Yeah, she's got a recipe with chicken in it, but I'd be more impressed if she wrote "Once in awhile I challenge my eating disorder thoughts with a trip to Popeye's". Because that's what healthy normal N O T - D I S O R D E R E D people do.
And my final beef with this book is that Jordan Younger comes off extremely selfish. Now, I don't know her; she could be a friggin saint for all I know, the sweetest kindest person ever. But she cries and stalks some poor woman with the name "balanced blonde", calls her up on the phone, and sobs some poor story about how she wants to take her name. Hell, if I were the former "balanced blonde" I would have laughed at her and hung up. I would have then gotten a restraining order because calling some random person up for their social media name is damn creepy.
The whole book I kept thinking that the author seemed VERY out of touch with the real world. She is constantly talking about juice bars and cleanses, where my small city doesn't even have a juice bar. I think if the "balanced blonde" were implanted in Watertown NY she'd have a panic attack.
And if someone out there is thinking, "That's because she has an eating disorder." Lol, no. That's because she needs to get her head out of her a**
I don't have a problem with veganism. I myself am vegetarian, with some vegan days (it's really hard to fully transition with my lifestyle where I live). I know for a fact that it can be a sustainable lifestyle that is a win-win for the planet, the animals, and yourself. But I also know that juice cleanses and fasts are not healthy veganism. That's disordered.
I would be slightly happier with this book if she titled it "Breaking Orthorexia". She and fans of hers will say, "Oh, but there's a disclaimer in the beginning of the book." Yeah, a miniscule disclaimer that you literally have to put on glasses/hold up to the light to see is not adequate, especially compared to the massive title.
Also, for someone who has struggled with eating disorders/disordered eating (orthorexia is not actually a diagnosis yet, so she might have gotten OSFED) Younger is wicked insensitive to those struggling with them. She mentions her weight fluctuations on practically every page, and she talks about how concerned her family was in a bragging sense? Like she was proud that they were worried about her.
And for someone who has embraced eating balanced, who CHANGED HER NAME to "balanced blonde" she is ... not eating very balanced. Normal people do not eat all whole foods, quinoa for breakfast, kale regularly. But her recipes in the back read like someone obsessed with pure eating (which is what orthorexia is). It's all whole foods, organic crap you'd buy at Trader Joe's. Not only is this unrealistic, but it's pretty rigid. Yeah, she's got a recipe with chicken in it, but I'd be more impressed if she wrote "Once in awhile I challenge my eating disorder thoughts with a trip to Popeye's". Because that's what healthy normal N O T - D I S O R D E R E D people do.
And my final beef with this book is that Jordan Younger comes off extremely selfish. Now, I don't know her; she could be a friggin saint for all I know, the sweetest kindest person ever. But she cries and stalks some poor woman with the name "balanced blonde", calls her up on the phone, and sobs some poor story about how she wants to take her name. Hell, if I were the former "balanced blonde" I would have laughed at her and hung up. I would have then gotten a restraining order because calling some random person up for their social media name is damn creepy.
The whole book I kept thinking that the author seemed VERY out of touch with the real world. She is constantly talking about juice bars and cleanses, where my small city doesn't even have a juice bar. I think if the "balanced blonde" were implanted in Watertown NY she'd have a panic attack.
And if someone out there is thinking, "That's because she has an eating disorder." Lol, no. That's because she needs to get her head out of her a**
December 24, 2021
"Can eating healthy food become an eating disorder?"
I was looking up Orthorexia online and came across this book. I feel like there are not many people talking about this little known eating disorder and even I did not know it till recently. I can get why many people are shaming this book but nonetheless my perspective is quite objective. I get that many vegans are worried that this shines a bad light on veganism, a lifestyle choice that has helped many. But I am happy that Jordan decided to share her story because I felt comforted by the words I read. They were things I personally felt as well.
I have not seen food in a healthy light for a few years and it only got worst once I started an elimination diet for my eczema and Topical steroid withdrawal (TSW). Food became bad and good, processed and unprocessed. I cut out dairy, gluten, sugar (natural and refined), processed foods, nuts, starchy and root vegetables, night shade vegetables and more. There was little I could eat and I was so stressed and miserable. Whenever I went out the first thought was "what can I eat?" I often had to make chicken at home and bring a thermast then eat vegetarian rice. I realized after months that this was not making me better or happy. My TSW still went it's own way flaring and subsiding but I told myself eating clean was doing good as toxins were exiting my body. My lowest weight was 43kg and my usual weight is 48-49kg. I did not get my period for 5 months.
That was how bad it was but like Jordan, I felt like I was so disciplined and making the ultimate sacrifice. I confess that I even felt like I was way better then everyone, they were weak for eating gluten, dairy and sugar. Jordan writes in a very personal voice which seems like she is talking to the reader directly. I liked that she was very open with her struggles, the good and bad of her personality and honesty in sharing about having an eating disorder. It is not easy to open up, you fear you will be judged.
When she talks about how hungry she always is and that incident where she was racing around trying to find somewhere to eat at, I felt her. I know how that feels.
One of the chapters I identified most with was "REAL Sugar, What?!" as I feel sugar is the devil, so bad and I really restrict myself in consuming it. Her worry and fear of it matched mine.
I encourage anyone who struggles with food and body image to give this a read. It made me feel like I am not alone and articulated my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a long way to go still but you made me feel hopeful.
My favourite quotes:
"I had learned that there are people who die of Orthorexia. That was a shock. I understood that people could make themselves crazy trying to maintain a healthy diet, but not that they could go so far as to injure themselves via malnutrition. Unlike people with anorexia, individuals with this type of severe Orthorexia don't think they are too fat; they think they are impure and need to cleanse. These are distinctly different motivations. Because the concept of Orthorexia was still little known at this time, eating disorder specialists often misunderstood such patients. They would say to them, 'You think you are too fat.' But that is not what it feels like to be Orthorexic. This misunderstanding led to treatment failure, with occasionally tragic results. (Note: Some people, such as Jordan, seem to combine features of Anorexia and Orthorexia, but when Orthorexia predominates it must be addressed as such for treatment to succeed. Even when Orthorexia is not fatal, it can commandeer a person's life. Eating disorders have that power."
Foreword by Stephen Bratman, M.D, M.P.H., Pg 7-8 of 15
"Does your healthy diet make you feel important? 'The strict diet helped me feel extraordinary when I was very fearful of being ordinary'. Does eating a healthy diet make you feel in control? Do you keeping upping the ante to get the same kick?
Foreword by Stephen Bratman, M.D., M.P.H., Pg 13 of 15
"As a result of my extreme tummy sensitivity, the precedent was set early on that when I ate well and avoided foods that drove my stomach crazy, I was praised and complimented for doing so. Alternately, when I gave in and ate what other people around me were eating, I was immediately reminded that I had done something terribly wrong. And hello, I was a kid!
Chapter 1: Diaries of an Extreme-a-holic, Pg 2 of 32
"The week of Christmas, my sister brought me a box of vegan peanut butter cookies from her local farmer's market. She had been raving to me about them for months and couldn't wait for me to try them. I immediately panicked. I could see the brown sugar gleaming on them in the harsh kitchen light. The ingredients were minimal, but they still didn't fall under my fully plant based mental requirements. Even having them in the house and knowing they were there for me filled my chest with anxiety. My family nibbled on the cookies throughout the week, and I say 'nibbled' because there was far more indulgent and delicious desserts in the house, and most of my family couldn't have cared less about those organic, local, vegan, almost-but-not-quite-sugar-free cookies on the countertop. They looked really good, they smelled amazing, and I have always been a sucker for anything involving peanut butter and chocolate chips. But something very strong in my mind held me back from trying them, and I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere near them. I also hoped no one was going to notice and ask me about it because I knew my rationale made no sense to me. I didn't understand when my mental blockage was coming from, other than the intense pain returning with a vengeance because of trying something new."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 10-12 of 20
"On Christmas Day, I decided to give myself a bit of a breakfast treat-it was a holiday, after all-and make a coconut yogurt parfait with granola while my family ate what we have every year for breakfast Christmas morning: my mom's scrambled eggs, sausage, and English muffins. I constructed the parfait carefully, mindful of enjoying the aromas and the textures because I knew that was supposed to make the overall experience of eating more satisfactory. I ate the whole thing, all the while feeling kind of sad and nostalgic that I couldn't join in on our breakfast tradition, and afterwards I obsessed so much about the amount of food I ate, I ended up feeling extremely nauseous and bloated. Naturally everyone else felt great."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 12-13 of 20
"I was not happy. I was trying to be the one prioritizing my health, and I was the only one feeling terrible and wanting to curl up in a fetal position on my bed."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 14 of 20
"But this time it felt different and even more wrong than what I was used to. There I was paying serious attention to every single bite that went into my mouth, and I was still suffering from the same stomach problems I so intensely believed veganism cured. I spent the whole day in and out of tears and wailing about how unfair it was that I had to be so careful about what I ate when everyone else could just enjoy food and go on with their lives as normal."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 15 of 20
"What was the first step? No more grad school. It's true that getting my master's was a dream since I was young, but while I was in the program my priorities shifted. Blogging became something I loved so much that writing for anything other than the blog felt like a chore. Also, once I really drew inward, I realized that being there and forcing myself to do work I wasn't wholly passionate about was stunting me from creating my own life and was an excuse to continue relying on other people to help me create my future."
Chapter 8: Down the Rabbit Hole, Pg 20-21 of 26
"One I let myself stray from the cleanse even the tiniest bit, I knew there was no going back. I had broken the mental challenge of it, and for me, the mental aspect was everything. If I could add protein powder to my smoothies, then mentally I could allow myself to eat vegetables. I had unleashed the rational side of my brain that knew there was no way two scoops of protein powder and a tablespoon (16g) of almond butter would satisfy what I needed. I was empty, in every single way. Health food and control was not the answer, and cleansing certainly was not either."
Chapter 9: What is the Point? Pg 19 of 28
"I started thinking again about how nice it might be and how much energy it might give me to reintroduce eggs and fish into my diet, and every time I did, my mind went directly back to what Jillian had said to me in the car nearly a year before: 'If you like fish, why deprive yourself?'. Basically, the gist of what she was saying, and the core point I hung on to, was, What's the point? What is the goddamn point, if you're starving yourself and feeling terrible and weak and unhealthy and bloated and depressed and obsessive? What.is.the.point."
Chapter 9: What is the Point? Pg 27 of 28
"And then there was the whole food anxiety thing. If I was scared of greasy foods at ages of five and six, imagine me thinking about trying them for the sake of my mental health after years of not going near them with a ten foot pole. Imagine the girl who stopped eating red meat in high school as a control mechanism, nine years later, as a twenty-three year old, sitting in her therapist's office trying to explain why the thought of eating red meat was petrifying if not seemingly impossible."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 6 of 54
"It seemed simple enough-just don't think too hard about what you're putting in your mouth. If you don't obssess, there will be far less chance that the food will upset your stomach in the way you imagine.
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 17 of 54
"Isn't it worth mentioning that everyone is different and we should all find a way to eat and live that works best for us?"
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 35 of 54
"Well, let me tell you something. Being gluten free, sugar free, oil free, grain free, legume free, plant based vegan didn't make me any better than anyone else. It made me restricted and emotionally exhausted, yes and even if I had been getting enough nutrients to live that way forever, I never would have acted like I was better than anyone else who didn't eat that way. I think the only dietary style worth bragging about is eating in a way that makes you feel amazing, balanced, and healthy. Listening to your body is something to brag about. And if animal rights and environmental activism are two things you are passionate about on top of feeling good, don't let the extremists tell you that you can't make a positive change in those areas just because you don't eat a strictly vegan diet. You can do whatever you want! Anyone who tells you otherwise is just a big bully."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 39 of 54
"Orthoexia is not yet recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders like the more traditional eating disorders are, but I predict that with the rising health obsession in our modern lifestyle, it will only become more and more prevalent."
Chapter 11: Getting Help and Coming Clean, Pg 48 of 54
"Orthorexia is the answer to what many of us believed to be a personality related anxiety issue surrounding food that could never be remedied. I for one thought I would live with it forever. The moment I broke the ties that bound me to a life of severe restriction, my world became instantly brighter. I had more options, vastly more, which became somewhat of an issue in itself for awhile, but it's human to have options. To deny ourselves those options, especially when our body is begging for them, is blatantly wrong."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 49 of 54
"I understand that that is not what veganism is to everyone. some people can thrive on a vegan diet, even a plant-based vegan diet, and I find that typically those people do not harbor the same types of extreme personality traits that I do. I also find that thriving on a plant-based vegan diet takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and some of us are not wired to develop that much time and effort to our food consumption. For some of us, it leaves no room for everything else in life-for relationships, for work, for exercise, for passions and hobbies such as writing and swimming and yoga and travel. Or maybe it does leave room, but that space is tainted with an overarching anxiety of 'Is there going to be anything for me to eat here, or am I just going to be screwed?"
Chapter 11: Getting Help and Coming Clean, Pg 50 of 54
"But I later learnt that when people are bonding over food and drinks and you exclude yourself from it, a sense of loneliness and isolation starts to creep up. You feel different, you feel like you can't fully join in, and try as they might, even your loved ones don't totally understand you."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 52 of 54
"I wanted to show people who suffer from eating disorders, especially orthorexia and any type of EDNOS (eating disorder not specified), that they are not alone-that there is a way out. I knew that the first step was rejecting my dietary label in favour of listening to my body. I talked to countless readers from around the world, thousands at this point, who had developed a form of orthorexia due to a labeled diet of some sort."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 15 of 32
"I did my best to spread the word that strict dietary regimens, even if they are deemed 'the healthiest way to live' by various studies and doctors and opinionated individuals, should be avoided by anyone with as extreme of a personality as my own."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 15-16 of 32
"If you search 'healthy diet' on the internet, you'll be met with an onslaught of contradictory information."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 16 of 32
"I felt desperate to let people know that by trying to be as healthy as they can be in an extreme way, which clearly seems like a good idea to anyone up for the challenge, maybe they were actually damaging their health in a long run."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 18 of 32
"It didn't make a huge difference in the way I felt, but it was enough to help me reflect on what worked and what didn't work for me and to rededicate myself to being healthy without being obsessive."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 31 of 32
"Something I wasn't at all comfortable with, aside from attempting to make chicken and fish dishes (I still struggle with those), was refined sugar."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 3 of 21
"Sugar Spotlight: I should add that refined sugar is nothing to idealize. Some people suffer from sugar addiction, and eating a diet high in sugar means having an excess of empty calories in our diet. But on the flipside, for someone recovering from an eating disorder and trying to reverse an all out fear of refined sugar, demystifying it and showing yourself that you can have whatever you want in moderation is much healthier and more freeing for your mind (and body!) in the long run."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 4 of 21
"Even writing it now triggers those sinful, off-limits feelings I used to get so strongly whenever I thought about any form of sugar that wasn't derived from stevia, honey, agave syrup, coconut nectar, or maybe, if I was feeling wild, date sugar."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 4-5 of 21
"I had always idolized bloggers who seemed to have no fear of the sugar content in their recipes. Yeah I felt that some of the combos of butter, sugar, flour and oil they used were kind of outdated and could be replaced with healthier alternatives, but that didn't take away the deeprooted and silent jealousy I felt when I perused their websites and imagined them indulging in their decadent desserts with no anxiety or hesitation."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 6 of 21
"As I was mixing everything together, I vacillated between telling myself 'see, you can make something delicious and satisfying while also keeping some of the nutritional value! You go girl!' and 'Holy crap, these aren't going to be very healthy, so I need to be really careful about how much of them I eat.'"
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 10 of 21
"I would never tell that friends they had done anything wrong by getting anxious in the situation (making cookies). I would praise them for challenging themselves and remind them how much easier it will get over time."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 17 of 21
"I will never again shut myself off from understanding that I am suffering, either physically or emotionally, and I will not let my mind-body connection disappear as it once did. Instead I will work to strengthen it, and I will make an effort to be kind to myself every single day-even if it means forfeiting a green juice for a warm gooey frosted cupcake or vice versa, depending on the day."
Chapter 14: Living with My Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 2-3 of 12
"Learning to listen to my body has been key in my recovery process. It is not easy, but prioritizing that seemingly simple little fact is extremely valuable and worthwhile."
Chapter 14: Living with my Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 3 of 12
"Life is meant to be enjoyed, squeezed, balanced, treasured, and magically different day after day. It is not meant to be predicted, dull or rigid"
Chapter 14: Living with My Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 7 of 12
"We forget to live in the moment. It's easy to say we are going to enjoy the beauty of each day, but how often do we really stop to notice the splendor in the little things? The natural things. When we are at peace with ourselves, and when we befriend ourselves, we can begin to live in the now."
Chapter 15: The Balanced Lifestyle Guide, Pg 7 of 71
"In short, we do ourselves a major disservice by constantly comparing our bodies and lives to those people around us. I think it is okay and even healthy to set fitness and professional goals and draw inspiration from fit and successful people we admire. But when we lose sight of who we are and what we really want for ourselves, then we lose all ability to find balance."
Chapter 15: The Balanced Lifestyle Guide, Pg 21 of 71
I was looking up Orthorexia online and came across this book. I feel like there are not many people talking about this little known eating disorder and even I did not know it till recently. I can get why many people are shaming this book but nonetheless my perspective is quite objective. I get that many vegans are worried that this shines a bad light on veganism, a lifestyle choice that has helped many. But I am happy that Jordan decided to share her story because I felt comforted by the words I read. They were things I personally felt as well.
I have not seen food in a healthy light for a few years and it only got worst once I started an elimination diet for my eczema and Topical steroid withdrawal (TSW). Food became bad and good, processed and unprocessed. I cut out dairy, gluten, sugar (natural and refined), processed foods, nuts, starchy and root vegetables, night shade vegetables and more. There was little I could eat and I was so stressed and miserable. Whenever I went out the first thought was "what can I eat?" I often had to make chicken at home and bring a thermast then eat vegetarian rice. I realized after months that this was not making me better or happy. My TSW still went it's own way flaring and subsiding but I told myself eating clean was doing good as toxins were exiting my body. My lowest weight was 43kg and my usual weight is 48-49kg. I did not get my period for 5 months.
That was how bad it was but like Jordan, I felt like I was so disciplined and making the ultimate sacrifice. I confess that I even felt like I was way better then everyone, they were weak for eating gluten, dairy and sugar. Jordan writes in a very personal voice which seems like she is talking to the reader directly. I liked that she was very open with her struggles, the good and bad of her personality and honesty in sharing about having an eating disorder. It is not easy to open up, you fear you will be judged.
When she talks about how hungry she always is and that incident where she was racing around trying to find somewhere to eat at, I felt her. I know how that feels.
One of the chapters I identified most with was "REAL Sugar, What?!" as I feel sugar is the devil, so bad and I really restrict myself in consuming it. Her worry and fear of it matched mine.
I encourage anyone who struggles with food and body image to give this a read. It made me feel like I am not alone and articulated my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a long way to go still but you made me feel hopeful.
My favourite quotes:
"I had learned that there are people who die of Orthorexia. That was a shock. I understood that people could make themselves crazy trying to maintain a healthy diet, but not that they could go so far as to injure themselves via malnutrition. Unlike people with anorexia, individuals with this type of severe Orthorexia don't think they are too fat; they think they are impure and need to cleanse. These are distinctly different motivations. Because the concept of Orthorexia was still little known at this time, eating disorder specialists often misunderstood such patients. They would say to them, 'You think you are too fat.' But that is not what it feels like to be Orthorexic. This misunderstanding led to treatment failure, with occasionally tragic results. (Note: Some people, such as Jordan, seem to combine features of Anorexia and Orthorexia, but when Orthorexia predominates it must be addressed as such for treatment to succeed. Even when Orthorexia is not fatal, it can commandeer a person's life. Eating disorders have that power."
Foreword by Stephen Bratman, M.D, M.P.H., Pg 7-8 of 15
"Does your healthy diet make you feel important? 'The strict diet helped me feel extraordinary when I was very fearful of being ordinary'. Does eating a healthy diet make you feel in control? Do you keeping upping the ante to get the same kick?
Foreword by Stephen Bratman, M.D., M.P.H., Pg 13 of 15
"As a result of my extreme tummy sensitivity, the precedent was set early on that when I ate well and avoided foods that drove my stomach crazy, I was praised and complimented for doing so. Alternately, when I gave in and ate what other people around me were eating, I was immediately reminded that I had done something terribly wrong. And hello, I was a kid!
Chapter 1: Diaries of an Extreme-a-holic, Pg 2 of 32
"The week of Christmas, my sister brought me a box of vegan peanut butter cookies from her local farmer's market. She had been raving to me about them for months and couldn't wait for me to try them. I immediately panicked. I could see the brown sugar gleaming on them in the harsh kitchen light. The ingredients were minimal, but they still didn't fall under my fully plant based mental requirements. Even having them in the house and knowing they were there for me filled my chest with anxiety. My family nibbled on the cookies throughout the week, and I say 'nibbled' because there was far more indulgent and delicious desserts in the house, and most of my family couldn't have cared less about those organic, local, vegan, almost-but-not-quite-sugar-free cookies on the countertop. They looked really good, they smelled amazing, and I have always been a sucker for anything involving peanut butter and chocolate chips. But something very strong in my mind held me back from trying them, and I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere near them. I also hoped no one was going to notice and ask me about it because I knew my rationale made no sense to me. I didn't understand when my mental blockage was coming from, other than the intense pain returning with a vengeance because of trying something new."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 10-12 of 20
"On Christmas Day, I decided to give myself a bit of a breakfast treat-it was a holiday, after all-and make a coconut yogurt parfait with granola while my family ate what we have every year for breakfast Christmas morning: my mom's scrambled eggs, sausage, and English muffins. I constructed the parfait carefully, mindful of enjoying the aromas and the textures because I knew that was supposed to make the overall experience of eating more satisfactory. I ate the whole thing, all the while feeling kind of sad and nostalgic that I couldn't join in on our breakfast tradition, and afterwards I obsessed so much about the amount of food I ate, I ended up feeling extremely nauseous and bloated. Naturally everyone else felt great."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 12-13 of 20
"I was not happy. I was trying to be the one prioritizing my health, and I was the only one feeling terrible and wanting to curl up in a fetal position on my bed."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 14 of 20
"But this time it felt different and even more wrong than what I was used to. There I was paying serious attention to every single bite that went into my mouth, and I was still suffering from the same stomach problems I so intensely believed veganism cured. I spent the whole day in and out of tears and wailing about how unfair it was that I had to be so careful about what I ate when everyone else could just enjoy food and go on with their lives as normal."
Chapter 6: The Holidays: An Orthorexic's Worst Nightmare, Pg 15 of 20
"What was the first step? No more grad school. It's true that getting my master's was a dream since I was young, but while I was in the program my priorities shifted. Blogging became something I loved so much that writing for anything other than the blog felt like a chore. Also, once I really drew inward, I realized that being there and forcing myself to do work I wasn't wholly passionate about was stunting me from creating my own life and was an excuse to continue relying on other people to help me create my future."
Chapter 8: Down the Rabbit Hole, Pg 20-21 of 26
"One I let myself stray from the cleanse even the tiniest bit, I knew there was no going back. I had broken the mental challenge of it, and for me, the mental aspect was everything. If I could add protein powder to my smoothies, then mentally I could allow myself to eat vegetables. I had unleashed the rational side of my brain that knew there was no way two scoops of protein powder and a tablespoon (16g) of almond butter would satisfy what I needed. I was empty, in every single way. Health food and control was not the answer, and cleansing certainly was not either."
Chapter 9: What is the Point? Pg 19 of 28
"I started thinking again about how nice it might be and how much energy it might give me to reintroduce eggs and fish into my diet, and every time I did, my mind went directly back to what Jillian had said to me in the car nearly a year before: 'If you like fish, why deprive yourself?'. Basically, the gist of what she was saying, and the core point I hung on to, was, What's the point? What is the goddamn point, if you're starving yourself and feeling terrible and weak and unhealthy and bloated and depressed and obsessive? What.is.the.point."
Chapter 9: What is the Point? Pg 27 of 28
"And then there was the whole food anxiety thing. If I was scared of greasy foods at ages of five and six, imagine me thinking about trying them for the sake of my mental health after years of not going near them with a ten foot pole. Imagine the girl who stopped eating red meat in high school as a control mechanism, nine years later, as a twenty-three year old, sitting in her therapist's office trying to explain why the thought of eating red meat was petrifying if not seemingly impossible."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 6 of 54
"It seemed simple enough-just don't think too hard about what you're putting in your mouth. If you don't obssess, there will be far less chance that the food will upset your stomach in the way you imagine.
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 17 of 54
"Isn't it worth mentioning that everyone is different and we should all find a way to eat and live that works best for us?"
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 35 of 54
"Well, let me tell you something. Being gluten free, sugar free, oil free, grain free, legume free, plant based vegan didn't make me any better than anyone else. It made me restricted and emotionally exhausted, yes and even if I had been getting enough nutrients to live that way forever, I never would have acted like I was better than anyone else who didn't eat that way. I think the only dietary style worth bragging about is eating in a way that makes you feel amazing, balanced, and healthy. Listening to your body is something to brag about. And if animal rights and environmental activism are two things you are passionate about on top of feeling good, don't let the extremists tell you that you can't make a positive change in those areas just because you don't eat a strictly vegan diet. You can do whatever you want! Anyone who tells you otherwise is just a big bully."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 39 of 54
"Orthoexia is not yet recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders like the more traditional eating disorders are, but I predict that with the rising health obsession in our modern lifestyle, it will only become more and more prevalent."
Chapter 11: Getting Help and Coming Clean, Pg 48 of 54
"Orthorexia is the answer to what many of us believed to be a personality related anxiety issue surrounding food that could never be remedied. I for one thought I would live with it forever. The moment I broke the ties that bound me to a life of severe restriction, my world became instantly brighter. I had more options, vastly more, which became somewhat of an issue in itself for awhile, but it's human to have options. To deny ourselves those options, especially when our body is begging for them, is blatantly wrong."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 49 of 54
"I understand that that is not what veganism is to everyone. some people can thrive on a vegan diet, even a plant-based vegan diet, and I find that typically those people do not harbor the same types of extreme personality traits that I do. I also find that thriving on a plant-based vegan diet takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and some of us are not wired to develop that much time and effort to our food consumption. For some of us, it leaves no room for everything else in life-for relationships, for work, for exercise, for passions and hobbies such as writing and swimming and yoga and travel. Or maybe it does leave room, but that space is tainted with an overarching anxiety of 'Is there going to be anything for me to eat here, or am I just going to be screwed?"
Chapter 11: Getting Help and Coming Clean, Pg 50 of 54
"But I later learnt that when people are bonding over food and drinks and you exclude yourself from it, a sense of loneliness and isolation starts to creep up. You feel different, you feel like you can't fully join in, and try as they might, even your loved ones don't totally understand you."
Chapter 11: Getting Help & Coming Clean, Pg 52 of 54
"I wanted to show people who suffer from eating disorders, especially orthorexia and any type of EDNOS (eating disorder not specified), that they are not alone-that there is a way out. I knew that the first step was rejecting my dietary label in favour of listening to my body. I talked to countless readers from around the world, thousands at this point, who had developed a form of orthorexia due to a labeled diet of some sort."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 15 of 32
"I did my best to spread the word that strict dietary regimens, even if they are deemed 'the healthiest way to live' by various studies and doctors and opinionated individuals, should be avoided by anyone with as extreme of a personality as my own."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 15-16 of 32
"If you search 'healthy diet' on the internet, you'll be met with an onslaught of contradictory information."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 16 of 32
"I felt desperate to let people know that by trying to be as healthy as they can be in an extreme way, which clearly seems like a good idea to anyone up for the challenge, maybe they were actually damaging their health in a long run."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 18 of 32
"It didn't make a huge difference in the way I felt, but it was enough to help me reflect on what worked and what didn't work for me and to rededicate myself to being healthy without being obsessive."
Chapter 12: What's going on with Me? Pg 31 of 32
"Something I wasn't at all comfortable with, aside from attempting to make chicken and fish dishes (I still struggle with those), was refined sugar."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 3 of 21
"Sugar Spotlight: I should add that refined sugar is nothing to idealize. Some people suffer from sugar addiction, and eating a diet high in sugar means having an excess of empty calories in our diet. But on the flipside, for someone recovering from an eating disorder and trying to reverse an all out fear of refined sugar, demystifying it and showing yourself that you can have whatever you want in moderation is much healthier and more freeing for your mind (and body!) in the long run."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 4 of 21
"Even writing it now triggers those sinful, off-limits feelings I used to get so strongly whenever I thought about any form of sugar that wasn't derived from stevia, honey, agave syrup, coconut nectar, or maybe, if I was feeling wild, date sugar."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 4-5 of 21
"I had always idolized bloggers who seemed to have no fear of the sugar content in their recipes. Yeah I felt that some of the combos of butter, sugar, flour and oil they used were kind of outdated and could be replaced with healthier alternatives, but that didn't take away the deeprooted and silent jealousy I felt when I perused their websites and imagined them indulging in their decadent desserts with no anxiety or hesitation."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 6 of 21
"As I was mixing everything together, I vacillated between telling myself 'see, you can make something delicious and satisfying while also keeping some of the nutritional value! You go girl!' and 'Holy crap, these aren't going to be very healthy, so I need to be really careful about how much of them I eat.'"
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 10 of 21
"I would never tell that friends they had done anything wrong by getting anxious in the situation (making cookies). I would praise them for challenging themselves and remind them how much easier it will get over time."
Chapter 13: REAL Sugar, What? Pg 17 of 21
"I will never again shut myself off from understanding that I am suffering, either physically or emotionally, and I will not let my mind-body connection disappear as it once did. Instead I will work to strengthen it, and I will make an effort to be kind to myself every single day-even if it means forfeiting a green juice for a warm gooey frosted cupcake or vice versa, depending on the day."
Chapter 14: Living with My Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 2-3 of 12
"Learning to listen to my body has been key in my recovery process. It is not easy, but prioritizing that seemingly simple little fact is extremely valuable and worthwhile."
Chapter 14: Living with my Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 3 of 12
"Life is meant to be enjoyed, squeezed, balanced, treasured, and magically different day after day. It is not meant to be predicted, dull or rigid"
Chapter 14: Living with My Extremes & Moving Forward, Pg 7 of 12
"We forget to live in the moment. It's easy to say we are going to enjoy the beauty of each day, but how often do we really stop to notice the splendor in the little things? The natural things. When we are at peace with ourselves, and when we befriend ourselves, we can begin to live in the now."
Chapter 15: The Balanced Lifestyle Guide, Pg 7 of 71
"In short, we do ourselves a major disservice by constantly comparing our bodies and lives to those people around us. I think it is okay and even healthy to set fitness and professional goals and draw inspiration from fit and successful people we admire. But when we lose sight of who we are and what we really want for ourselves, then we lose all ability to find balance."
Chapter 15: The Balanced Lifestyle Guide, Pg 21 of 71
February 8, 2016
Ugh, quit rating the damn book if you didn't read it. With love. ♡ I know, I know. The title wasn't the best choice. It angered lots and lots and LOTS of humans. It came off as if she was blaming veganism (she's definitely not).
Ahem. So I did read this one. Me, a VEGAN. Gasp, shock, what? Yep. Jordan wrote a kick ass book. No anger, death threats, or butthurt here. Why? Because this gal doesn't judge people by their dietary choices. Unless you're a cannibal. Then, just no (sorry). I actually went through a similar situation like Jordan's. I won't flat out say I was orthorexic, but I was going down an extreme path of cutting out every possible allergen to combat a digestive disorder while trying to remain vegan and "healthy". It does not work like that! You get sick. Then you're in denial about being sick on your plant-based diet and cut out more foods. Not good. I admit, I added fish and cheese back in for two years to get my balance back. But I ultimately returned to veganism and I'm doing so much better (not without occassional flare ups on the digestion stuff, but not nearly as bad). I also have a better understanding of my stomach problems and what I should avoid (wheat, here's looking at you). I do applaud Jordan for being brave and honest. Telling people you're not vegan anymore? Cue disgust from vegan friends and a load of "told you so" comments from family. I couldn't imagine being a public figure and doing it. Heck no. Feelings get hurt, you want to cry over a peice of freak'n colby jack because a longtime friend turns their back on you for even touching dairy, family boasts that veganisn doesn't work even if you insist it was you and not the lifestyle. Oh, and going back is a whole other story so if Jordan ever decides to give veganism a healthier go... be nice! If not, that's on her. Ya know?
If you've ever struggled with food, labels, etc., then this is a great read. I definitely feel less alone about my struggles! Also, there are a lot of vegan recipes at the end that I'm excited to try out. Chocolate & Greens needs to get in a jar right now. Right now. Yerm.
Ahem. So I did read this one. Me, a VEGAN. Gasp, shock, what? Yep. Jordan wrote a kick ass book. No anger, death threats, or butthurt here. Why? Because this gal doesn't judge people by their dietary choices. Unless you're a cannibal. Then, just no (sorry). I actually went through a similar situation like Jordan's. I won't flat out say I was orthorexic, but I was going down an extreme path of cutting out every possible allergen to combat a digestive disorder while trying to remain vegan and "healthy". It does not work like that! You get sick. Then you're in denial about being sick on your plant-based diet and cut out more foods. Not good. I admit, I added fish and cheese back in for two years to get my balance back. But I ultimately returned to veganism and I'm doing so much better (not without occassional flare ups on the digestion stuff, but not nearly as bad). I also have a better understanding of my stomach problems and what I should avoid (wheat, here's looking at you). I do applaud Jordan for being brave and honest. Telling people you're not vegan anymore? Cue disgust from vegan friends and a load of "told you so" comments from family. I couldn't imagine being a public figure and doing it. Heck no. Feelings get hurt, you want to cry over a peice of freak'n colby jack because a longtime friend turns their back on you for even touching dairy, family boasts that veganisn doesn't work even if you insist it was you and not the lifestyle. Oh, and going back is a whole other story so if Jordan ever decides to give veganism a healthier go... be nice! If not, that's on her. Ya know?
If you've ever struggled with food, labels, etc., then this is a great read. I definitely feel less alone about my struggles! Also, there are a lot of vegan recipes at the end that I'm excited to try out. Chocolate & Greens needs to get in a jar right now. Right now. Yerm.
May 15, 2018
This book was just a whole load of SHIT. First of all, the title was extremely misleading. This girl called it "Breaking Vegan" but it barely had anything to do with veganism in the first place which made no sense. She just complained and blamed veganism for her eating disorder (which is just pure BULLSHIT). It's extremely obvious that this chick didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. Thirdly, the writing style was stupid and annoying. So yeah, this book sucks ass.
October 6, 2018
3.5 Stars
This memoir addresses the timely and important topic of orthorexia. The writing and editing were average, but I appreciated the author's honesty. I feel bad that this book has gotten attacked by vegan community, when the author clearly states that people can be vegan without having an eating disorder.
This memoir addresses the timely and important topic of orthorexia. The writing and editing were average, but I appreciated the author's honesty. I feel bad that this book has gotten attacked by vegan community, when the author clearly states that people can be vegan without having an eating disorder.
August 17, 2018
I pretty much never write reviews on goodreads, but because a lot of the reviews here seem to be from people totally dismissing the book, I decided to write one. I find it hard to believe that everyone who gave one star or a one sentence review actually sat down to read the book with an open mind, rather, they are members of the vegan police and the title rubbed them up the wrong way.
It is, to be fair, a poorly chosen title. Yes, Jordan talks about veganism and how it didn't work for her, but veganism actually seems to be a very small part of her complex eating disorder. Maybe "breaking juice cleanses" or "breaking orthorexia" would have been more appropriate?
What irked me about this book is that even when the author says she was consumed by her eating disorder, she still maintains that she was doing it "for her health", whereas actually the general impression I got was that it was to lose weight. There are mentions of weight loss dotted throughout the book, but she maintains the focus was being the healthiest version of herself she could be, with the added benefit of battling dodgy stomach problem.
The second half of the book was written as something of a self-help section, with fairly standard run of the mill advice like "do what makes you happy". I'll be honest, I skipped through a lot of these pages.
I also feel the author was choosing her words carefully. Maybe this is due to the backlash of haters after she transitioned away from veganism. There were a few too many paragraphs that started with "im certainly no expert but..." or included "if that's what works for you and your body then do it". I found this tiring and non-committal, it's like her disclaimer in case anyone tries to argue with her.
There were parts of the book I'm sure she found hard to write. Things that would be embarrassing or emotional to put on paper. The stories about going on holiday with her family and a bag of food and nearly fainting whilst on a road trip with her friend were interesting insights as to how orthorexia/eating disorders can take over your life.
In short, this might be an interesting read if you're someone who has struggled with an eating disorder. It's not particularly well written but it's an easy read. I haven't read her blog, but it reads like a blog or a very long instagram caption.
Overall, I found it a bit hypocritical and preachy. I was expecting more.
It is, to be fair, a poorly chosen title. Yes, Jordan talks about veganism and how it didn't work for her, but veganism actually seems to be a very small part of her complex eating disorder. Maybe "breaking juice cleanses" or "breaking orthorexia" would have been more appropriate?
What irked me about this book is that even when the author says she was consumed by her eating disorder, she still maintains that she was doing it "for her health", whereas actually the general impression I got was that it was to lose weight. There are mentions of weight loss dotted throughout the book, but she maintains the focus was being the healthiest version of herself she could be, with the added benefit of battling dodgy stomach problem.
The second half of the book was written as something of a self-help section, with fairly standard run of the mill advice like "do what makes you happy". I'll be honest, I skipped through a lot of these pages.
I also feel the author was choosing her words carefully. Maybe this is due to the backlash of haters after she transitioned away from veganism. There were a few too many paragraphs that started with "im certainly no expert but..." or included "if that's what works for you and your body then do it". I found this tiring and non-committal, it's like her disclaimer in case anyone tries to argue with her.
There were parts of the book I'm sure she found hard to write. Things that would be embarrassing or emotional to put on paper. The stories about going on holiday with her family and a bag of food and nearly fainting whilst on a road trip with her friend were interesting insights as to how orthorexia/eating disorders can take over your life.
In short, this might be an interesting read if you're someone who has struggled with an eating disorder. It's not particularly well written but it's an easy read. I haven't read her blog, but it reads like a blog or a very long instagram caption.
Overall, I found it a bit hypocritical and preachy. I was expecting more.
April 6, 2021
While the writing style wasn't my favorite, I felt like this book could be really encouraging with people given to extremes and disordered thinking about eating, and was excited to read and potentially share it.
...until halfway through reading, I looked up her Instagram (still titled The Balanced Blonde although it seems the balanced part has taken a hiatus) and found out that she is once again a very strict vegan, proclaiming the health and wellness benefits of cleanses (including a recent 10-day water cleanse), and declaring adamantly that she "never actually had an eating disorder." She looks very thin and even unwell in her photos, but by the comments clearly has quite the supportive following. Now I am hesitant to share the encouragement that might be found in this book with friends who struggle with ED, in the fear that they will look up her Instagram and consequently believe there is no conquering their own struggles, or become convinced there is actually no problem at all with their own disordered eating habits. P
...until halfway through reading, I looked up her Instagram (still titled The Balanced Blonde although it seems the balanced part has taken a hiatus) and found out that she is once again a very strict vegan, proclaiming the health and wellness benefits of cleanses (including a recent 10-day water cleanse), and declaring adamantly that she "never actually had an eating disorder." She looks very thin and even unwell in her photos, but by the comments clearly has quite the supportive following. Now I am hesitant to share the encouragement that might be found in this book with friends who struggle with ED, in the fear that they will look up her Instagram and consequently believe there is no conquering their own struggles, or become convinced there is actually no problem at all with their own disordered eating habits. P
January 25, 2016
I don't want to make light of her journey, but I found this book to be rather poorly written, in need of a good editor for sure! (For example: "expecially" is not a word...) She jumped around so much chronologically that I had a hard time actually following her process into an out of disordered eating, which was a huge part of the message of the book! Blogging and writing a book obviously require different skill sets. I honestly kept reading out of morbid curiosity, and I am relieved to be done.
March 17, 2016
I've follower Jordan's blog and Instagram account for ages so I was glad to finally read the book. I think this was a great look at the trap that so many healthy bloggers and Instagram users fall into. I think orthorexia is likely much more common than we think, and I wish there were better options available for addressing it.
August 17, 2024
DNF
It's very difficult to rate a book like this while knowing how personal and frightening an eating disorder and talking about it can be.
Nevertheless, after forcing myself to read as much as I could stomach, I had to come to the unfortunate conclusion that this is simply not a good book, not named well, and poorly thought out.
The author comes off as incredibly selfish when talking about veganism. While I truly believe that it is a mostly selfless pursuit filled with good people trying to do good things, Jordan Younger reminds me of all the selfish reasons one might also be inspired to take on the vegan title.
Jordan glosses over the truly important aspects of veganism and instead focuses on her extreme juice fasting and the romanticization of nutritional deficiency.
The photos often star Jordan walking around with a basket of fruits and vegetables, the pictures of her are all made to look nice even when she was in the depths of her eating disorder, and the recipes at the end all seem like they want to paste a massive sticker on their foreheads that scream "HEALTHY," - causing me to wonder how much of her orthorexia she has truly overcome.
This book is precisely the reason that we need to stop thinking of veganism as a diet, and remember that it is a LIFESTYLE. When it's treated as a simple dietary preference or as a means to a skinnier end, we have problematic situations like this occur. It's very easy to say "oh, well. It just wasn't for me. I didn't feel good." Than it is to say that you're deciding to turn a blind eye to everything going on - and worse, support and be a part of it.
I am pleased to see other people unhappy with this book, and the subsequent low rating.
I do not recommend this book whatsoever - especially if you are interested in veganism or have orthorexia. Reading about people and their unhealthy obsessing is, I'm my opinion, not good for individuals struggling with similar problems.
Give this one a pass.
(Edited 25 mins later):
Also, as I was placing this book on a surface near a door to happily send it back to the library, a part of the final sentence on the back jumped out at me:
"Breaking Vegan is about tolerance and forgiveness..."
What are we tolerating and forgiving here I wonder?
It's very difficult to rate a book like this while knowing how personal and frightening an eating disorder and talking about it can be.
Nevertheless, after forcing myself to read as much as I could stomach, I had to come to the unfortunate conclusion that this is simply not a good book, not named well, and poorly thought out.
The author comes off as incredibly selfish when talking about veganism. While I truly believe that it is a mostly selfless pursuit filled with good people trying to do good things, Jordan Younger reminds me of all the selfish reasons one might also be inspired to take on the vegan title.
Jordan glosses over the truly important aspects of veganism and instead focuses on her extreme juice fasting and the romanticization of nutritional deficiency.
The photos often star Jordan walking around with a basket of fruits and vegetables, the pictures of her are all made to look nice even when she was in the depths of her eating disorder, and the recipes at the end all seem like they want to paste a massive sticker on their foreheads that scream "HEALTHY," - causing me to wonder how much of her orthorexia she has truly overcome.
This book is precisely the reason that we need to stop thinking of veganism as a diet, and remember that it is a LIFESTYLE. When it's treated as a simple dietary preference or as a means to a skinnier end, we have problematic situations like this occur. It's very easy to say "oh, well. It just wasn't for me. I didn't feel good." Than it is to say that you're deciding to turn a blind eye to everything going on - and worse, support and be a part of it.
I am pleased to see other people unhappy with this book, and the subsequent low rating.
I do not recommend this book whatsoever - especially if you are interested in veganism or have orthorexia. Reading about people and their unhealthy obsessing is, I'm my opinion, not good for individuals struggling with similar problems.
Give this one a pass.
(Edited 25 mins later):
Also, as I was placing this book on a surface near a door to happily send it back to the library, a part of the final sentence on the back jumped out at me:
"Breaking Vegan is about tolerance and forgiveness..."
What are we tolerating and forgiving here I wonder?
August 28, 2025
Books like this are why, when I was hospitalized for ED and shared upon intake the lactose intolerance and beef intolerance that far, far predated any ED, and so my request for a vegan (or at least dairy-free) diet, I was told, "Vegetarianism and veganism are signs of mental illness. We'll prescribe you lactaid."
Younger's argument is specious and deeply misleading. According to her, because she had ED tendencies and glommed onto being vegan in the most extreme way - continual juice "cleanses," all-liquid diets, semi-regular fasting, etc etc - vegan = ED = "extreme dieting" = orthorexia, and so "vegan" is bad because the wide, wide range of vegan diets are reduced to her deeply problematic, restrictive, unhealthy diet. (Consider her title. Using the colon as an equivalency marker, "vegan" = "veganism, extreme dieting, and orthorexia". Such fallacious reasoning.)
It's like if someone decided vegetables were where it's at for nutrition, then only ate carrots all day every day, and they get ill... so carrots are bad! No. Not at all. But I'm sure folks who kind-of wish they were vegan but don't really want to be are loving the excuse to bash veganism.
I'm embarrassed for this publisher and embarrassed too for Younger, who (from her IG, and from the highly posed images in this book) is still clearly struggling to have a more healthful relationship with food. I appreciate her courage in sharing her struggle with her ED - but it's her struggle with her ED, not a struggle with veganism.
Younger's argument is specious and deeply misleading. According to her, because she had ED tendencies and glommed onto being vegan in the most extreme way - continual juice "cleanses," all-liquid diets, semi-regular fasting, etc etc - vegan = ED = "extreme dieting" = orthorexia, and so "vegan" is bad because the wide, wide range of vegan diets are reduced to her deeply problematic, restrictive, unhealthy diet. (Consider her title. Using the colon as an equivalency marker, "vegan" = "veganism, extreme dieting, and orthorexia". Such fallacious reasoning.)
It's like if someone decided vegetables were where it's at for nutrition, then only ate carrots all day every day, and they get ill... so carrots are bad! No. Not at all. But I'm sure folks who kind-of wish they were vegan but don't really want to be are loving the excuse to bash veganism.
I'm embarrassed for this publisher and embarrassed too for Younger, who (from her IG, and from the highly posed images in this book) is still clearly struggling to have a more healthful relationship with food. I appreciate her courage in sharing her struggle with her ED - but it's her struggle with her ED, not a struggle with veganism.
December 23, 2021
I followed Jordan years ago, but haven't seen anything of hers since I quit. I believe that she's sincere in what she says, and like most of us her health is a journey so her opinions on what's best for her body will change, and have changed. A very easy read, not anti-vegan at all, and I relate to the food issues, the restricting, and the MAJOR stress and anxiety that comes with Orthorexia. In response to the readers who say that they wouldn't recommend because the author's eating habits have changed since its publishing, meh, I think there's still some valuable advice, and some vulnerability to the writing that is worth it. The point of a book like this is not that the person is never going to change again (and why would we want that?) it's really to show how far she had come at this time in her life, and to help others who are currently struggling with one of her past struggles. It's hard to talk about these things, so I give her kudos for writing it.
February 14, 2018
This book was like reading a long blog post. Which is good, because I love reading blogs! If you don’t like reading blogs, you might find the writing a bit superficial, but it didn’t bother me. I’m proud of Jordan for sharing her story despite the backlash she received. She is strong for coming out of the experience so positively. The recipes in the back also look quick and easy. I appreciate how they are written for people with little to no experience cooking. It was like a friend explaining a recipe to me, which was fun.
October 5, 2018
Um...
I do appreciate Jordan sharing her story. It was brave and likely a painful process to do so. Her journey seems relatable and she wields a fine balance, in my non-vegan opinion, of separating her decision to step away from veganism from the diet/lifestyle of veganism. She’s clear that her approach to veganism didn’t work for her- not that veganism is inherently a bad or destructive diet. However, beyond this, the writing is simply not good and reads like a high school essay. Not particularly compelling.
I do appreciate Jordan sharing her story. It was brave and likely a painful process to do so. Her journey seems relatable and she wields a fine balance, in my non-vegan opinion, of separating her decision to step away from veganism from the diet/lifestyle of veganism. She’s clear that her approach to veganism didn’t work for her- not that veganism is inherently a bad or destructive diet. However, beyond this, the writing is simply not good and reads like a high school essay. Not particularly compelling.
June 7, 2024
I originally thought the author seemed relatable in her struggles, but as I've done more research, she's back to being vegan and promoting water fasts?! I don't trust the genuineness of the book anymore because she seems to develop some new issue every other week - and then she'll sell a product related to it. I'd love to see more people share their story on orthorexia just in a more genuine, not pointing fingers, type of way.
December 4, 2016
Rambled on at times and no real captivating story line here. To be fair, parts of this book resonated with me as it probably would with any mindful eater.
January 29, 2019
It was just okay.
February 1, 2019
Very pertinent for those battling eating disorders of any type.
March 9, 2023
Not exactly what I thought it would be, but okay. C
November 4, 2017
Although I’m very interested in the general topic (orthorexia), I’m not quite enthusiastic about the book. I follow Jordan on social media and am very happy that she decided to share her story. It is something that most people are not aware of, even though they should be. Nevertheless, I never really got into the book. It took me a long time to finish it, and I’m not sure if I would recommend.
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