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Hardcover
First published April 7, 2026
- warner pov's.
- warnette proving why they'll always be the greatest couple ever 😭
- nazeera !!! my queen.
- kenji and warner's friendship <3
- warner proving around the end why he's the cleverest RAHH (literally gave a standing ovation because i got so hyped, MY KING)
- the first 30% that was a bit nicer.
- the release me puns me and danny made every two chapters ("release me from this life", "release me from this slump", "release me from the shackles of this world", "release me from whatever the fuck this was" (our humour is broken)).



me to danny at 20%: nothing has happened uptil now. nothing will happen.
danny to me at 80%: NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TILL NOW.
“Nope,” James says sharply, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. I meant what I said. We’re not discussing anything until you eat—”
“What?” I stare at him, stunned. “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying—”
“I understand exactly what you’re saying. I don’t care if the world burns to the fucking ground, Rosabelle. You’re going to eat first.”

“Stop staring at her,” James barks at the others. “Let her eat her food in peace.”
They look away like chastened children, turning their eyes to their plates, or else around the restaurant. James stares pointedly into the distance, his hand clenched around his water cup.”






Here’s the question,” he says. “If J asked you to go to the moon for her, would you go to the moon?”
“Yes.”
“I never had a preference for blue eyes before I met him. I never knew I cared for freckles until I saw his face.”
My nerves are shot, I have to get going, and I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired of chasing you down and taking a bullet for it. …. Run for as long as you like. Shoot me as many times as you want. Try stabbing me again, it won’t matter.
⤷ ゛Bro, I think James is on his period. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛I close my eyes. Open them.
I miss my wife.
I want to go home. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛Worms turn garbage into compost. Worms do more for the world than you do. Worms just eat dirt and mind their business. Worms need a better marketing campaign. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛Her skin against my skin works like an opiate. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"Aaron?" she whispers again.
My eyes flutter against her neck. I'm half dreaming even as I press a kiss to her skin. "Yes, love?" I murmur.ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛In a stunning reversal, I've managed to unite everyone against me in his favor. Warner's never been so unanimously supported in anything. Ever. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛I shake my head, my mood darkening further. "Whatever."
"Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?" he says, stomping toward me. "Is this some kind of delayed puberty? Are you about to grow your first chest hair?" ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"I think you doth protest a bit too much, bro."
I hesitate, take a step back. "What?"
"What?" he says defensively.
"Are you quoting Hamlet at me right now?"
"Fuck you, I like Shakespeare." ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"Foul language is a cheap feast for an underfed mind." ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"A vote?" Warner frowns. "When have I ever given you the impression that this was a democracy?"
"About ten years ago?" Kenji says, without missing a beat. "Remember? We did the whole revolution? You were there. You were all, Ew, fascists-" ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛Apparently, what I'm really looking for is a girl who threatens to murder my enemies.
Rosabelle has set the bar too fucking high. ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"We're all a bunch of traumatised weirdos with murderous daddy issues. Kenji exempted, of course."
"Weirdos?" Warner echoes, insulted.
"Daddy issues?" Nazeera pulls a face.
"Thank you," Kenji says, pointing at me. "My parents were awesome, unlike the rest of you losers."
Juliette's eyes widen. "Kenji."
"What?" he says, crossing his arms. "I'm not naming names or anything, but some of you were never hugged as children and it shows."ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛Rosabelle will go down fighting with her last breath, and I can't help but respect her for it. That's the kind of girl who shows up, holds the line, keeps her promises guards your secrets, destroys your enemies. That's the kind of girls i want to go into battle with.ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛"Obviously, I can't leave these two alone." She gestures in my direction. "If we're gone for too long James will probably try to marry her, and she'll probably kill him for trying. We'll have to scrape his body of the asphalt." ˎˊ˗
⤷ ゛She could probably ask me for anything right now. Fuck a jacket, I'd give her an organ. Any organ. She can pick the organ. ˎˊ˗