A more than usually absurd, Harlequin Presents, sheikh romance
In the imaginary, alternate-universe, Middle Eastern kingdom of Tahar, 30-year-old Prince Tarek suddenly finds himself elevated to King when his venal, narcissistic, evilly cruel elder brother, who had no son and heir, suddenly dies of a drug overdose. Tarek discovers, to his horror, on reading his brother’s journals, that his brother murdered their parents when Tarek was 15, in order to ascend to the throne. He also tortured young Tarek, then banished him to the desert, where he has lived in a cave like an isolated monk for the last 15 years. Tarek’s brother assigned him some kind of military role that seems to have involved battles with weapons so primitive, they were something out of the early sixteenth century. Tarek is described as fighting only with a sword and facing “steel-tipped arrows” on the battlefield. He also functioned as some sort of assassin on behalf of his brother, but no details are given as to how he might have pulled that off successfully using only a huge scimitar in a world of guns. In spite of having no education past the age of 15, having no access to modern technology such as cell phones or the internet, not reading newspapers, books, seeing movies or TV, Tarek speaks perfect, fluent English. It is never explained what he did in his cave for toileting, bathing, laundry, and meals—other than somehow maintaining a coffee habit. He has never had sex and has staunchly refused to give in to sexual urgings whatsoever, so apparently he has never even engaged in self-stimulation. His entire personal identity involves martyring himself as a “weapon” for his country. Tarek is not described for most of the book as wearing the thobe (robe) or the Taqiyah (head covering), and there is no mention (as there never is in HP sheikh romances) of his following Muslim religious practices, in particular, prostrating himself to pray five times per day. In fact, the only Muslim practice that typically (but not always) appears in HP sheikh romances, including this one, is avoiding alcohol.
Olivia comes from a wealthy American family. She suffered from “poor little rich girl” syndrome in that her parents were so obsessed with caring for her chronically, dangerously ill younger sister, they basically ignored her throughout her childhood. At university, she met the prince of a fictional European country, married him, and became his queen for five years until his untimely death. Though she is not the typical HP, virgin heroine, we are assured her husband was 26-year-old Olivia’s only lover. Because she and her deceased husband produced no heir, his younger brother became king, and Olivia’s presence in that country became surplus to requirements. Because she views herself as highly skilled in the political maneuvering required of monarchs, and the only career she is interested in pursuing is to continue being a queen, her brother-in-law offers her the chance to help her adopted homeland gain important political advantages by entering into a nineteenth-century-type arranged marriage with Tahar’s new, unmarried king.
After Olivia arrives in Tahar, she realizes from her very first meeting with the devastatingly attractive and mysteriously aloof Tarek that a political alliance with him won’t just involve doing her honorable duty. It could prove to be a real pleasure. It would be quite entertaining smoothing down half-wild Tarek’s rough edges, and she eagerly anticipates the joys of sharing the marriage bed with the gorgeous brute.
Tarek is fully aware that he will need to marry and produce an heir, but at first he believes a foreign woman will simply make it all the more difficult to move from self-enforced celibacy to cohabitation. However, Olivia does such a convincing job persuading Tarek that, with her skills as an experienced queen, she could quickly and efficiently help him transition from unpolished warrior to a sophisticated king, he reluctantly agrees to give her a few days to concretely prove her grandiose claims.
Olivia is quite surprised when Tarek escorts her to a bedchamber himself because, unlike in a typical HP sheikh romance, the Tahar monarch’s palace is not crawling with hordes of willing servants. She is even more amazed when her assigned space is right next door to Tarek’s own suite. This unconventional setup permits the occurrence of a classic romance trope, the accidental, lust-inducing, nude sighting. That night while lying in bed, Olivia hears grunts and shouts coming from Tarek’s room. She gets up, peeks out of her bedroom door, and is awed and turned on at the magnificent sight of a sleepwalking, naked Tarek, who is stomping up and down the corridor, swinging both a sword high above and his exposed genitals below. As expected for a romance hero, he is described as having muscular thighs and a bodybuilder’s physique, even though all he’s ever done is brandish a sword and shoot arrows. He’s never routinely hoisted heavy objects.
I had the following issues with this novel that made it a less than appealing read for me:
1. It is typical of HP sheikh romances that their mythical Arab nations bear no resemblance to any Arab nation in the real world. But this book takes that inaccuracy to an absolute extreme. Tarek’s sixteenth-century-style, sword-and-arrows battles would only make sense if this were a time-travel novel—which it is not.
2. Why on earth would Tarek’s brother keep journals lying around in which he exposes his every crime, most especially patricide and matricide? Not only that, keeping a journal is a rather nerdy thing to do, not something one would expect from a chaotically corrupt, self-indulgent addict.
3. As is typical of HP sheikh heroes, Tarek does not act like a Muslim. He does not regularly pray, almost never dresses like an Arab male, and he is clean shaven rather than having a beard. In this case, Tarek initially has a wild, scraggly beard, but he allows Olivia to shave it off entirely, rather than simply neatly trimming it.
4. At her wedding to Tarek, we learn that Olivia doesn’t speak or even understand Arabic. It is obvious she also does not speak or understand the most common language in the Muslim world, Urdu. This means that the only way Tarek and Olivia could realistically communicate is with an interpreter. The author chooses to conveniently ignore that issue entirely, presenting Tarek as speaking fluent English, even though his having that skill is not at all well motivated. (Stating once in the story that, during his 15 years in his cave, he would march up and down talking to himself in several languages he learned from his father, so he wouldn’t forget them, just doesn’t cut it.) Not only that, later in the book Tarek reads and fully comprehends English-language sex manuals in order to be able to perform like a virtuoso in bed, as all romance heroes are expected to do.
5. Speaking of sex manuals: The author’s entire goal in this story is to flip the typical, HP trope of a virgin heroine matched with a sexually experienced hero, but the setup of Tarek’s being a monkish virgin living in a cave for 15 years is utterly improbable. Also, his, also unrealistically, studying sex manuals rather than allowing Olivia, as an experienced widow, to instruct him in what she enjoys in bed, is a missed opportunity to milk this trope reversal to the full.
6. Olivia’s decision that the only career she wants in life is to be a queen is, in the twenty-first century, decidedly odd, if not slightly unhinged.
I experienced this novel as an audiobook, which I obtained through Hoopla. For the most part, the narrator does an adequate job but, irritatingly, she consistently mispronounces sheikh as “sheek” rather than “shayk.”
I rate this book as follows:
Heroine: 2 stars
Hero: 2 stars
Setting: 2 stars
Romance Plot: 2 stars
Writing: 2 stars
Audiobook Narration: 3 stars
Overall: 2 stars