When I Am Old I Shall Wear Purple

by Sandra Martz

This enchanting collection of writings and photographs evokes the beauty, humor and courage of women living in their later years and tells of the endearing moments of joy

Genres: Poetry, Short Stories, Nonfiction, Essays, Womens, Anthologies, Feminism

217 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1987

About the author

Sandra Kay Martz founded Papier-Mache Press in 1984. Papier-Mache Press was known for publishing accessible books which, “presented important social issues through enduring works of beauty, grace, and strength,” and “created a bridge of understanding between the mainstream audience and those who might not otherwise be heard. As an editor and publisher, she has compiled several successful Papier-Mache Press anthologies including If I Had My Life to Live Over I Would Pick More Daisies, and I Am Becoming the Woman I’ve Wanted, a book that explores the powerful feelings women have about their bodies.

Reviews

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book. I got it years ago. Smiled. Still smile.

*nb: and by now I've learned for myself why old women wear purple, it goes well with white hair

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I flip through this book when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with the world and the pace of life when I do not want to look towards any poems about consciousness or oneness with everything. It puts me in my place and reading some of the poems and short stories reminds me of who I might be one day and I take comfort in knowing I don't need to be there yet. I recommend this book and a cup of tea in the early afternoon in the winter with a heavy sweater. Mmmm. Just a little snippit at a time here and there - a great book to have received as a gift from a beloved aunt who I hardly see.

[Larry Bassett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another one of those 20+ year old books that I seem to be reading regularly. But it has aged well and I would recommend it to all people who are old or think they may be old one day. Especially women. This one was on my parent's bookshelf that I have been raiding recently.

I love short stories and poems that I can actually understand. When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple has 60 written offerings plus some excellent photography of well weathered women.

You can get this book on GR Bookswap at the moment. Go for it! I won't be passing on my own copy since it has a sentimental value to me. But you can get a hardcover copy for 99 cents at Alibris.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend introduced this to me, and I am very grateful. The voice and beauty of this book sings for me in ways that I cannot find words for. We just "click" this book and I. We just click. I don't know what to make of the concept of the Red Hat Society that was spawned by this except to say that if it gets women riled up and living life more fully, more power to it.

[Bev · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

I first encountered this poem in my teens and loved it. I collected it in my treasured poems and quotes and brought it along with me into middle-age. I loved the sense of defiance that runs through it. That the speaker doesn't plan to go quietly into old age, but will go in bright colors and doing all the things that girls who behave have been taught they shouldn't do like wearing slippers in the rain or eating only bread and pickles for every meal...for a week. When you've grown up, you should be allowed to do what you want (within reason).

Then in 2012, I found this anthology of poems and essays all about women and the aging process at the local library's used book shop. When I saw that the title and leading poem was my long-held favorite, I knew it had to come home with me. And, as often happens, I set it aside while other books on the TBR stacks claimed my attention. It has finally worked its way into the "read" column.

It is a wonderfully insightful book full of the musings of women (and a few men) on what it means to grow old as a woman. Memories of mothers, aunts, and grandmothers fill the pages. A few women speak with the voice of experience--having already walked that road themselves. The poems are beautiful. The essays are poignant and sometimes disturbing...but they all are worthwhile. A book to reflect on as well as enjoy. ★★★★

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.


First posted on my blog My Reader's Block. Please request permission before reposting review content. thanks.

[nikolai · Rating 4 out of 5]

what a lovely anthology

[Annie ⚜️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Nancy Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice collection of poetry, short stories, and photography.

[Debi Cates · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a very fond memory of this book.

I used to drive from Texas to New Mexico every three months to visit my grandmother after my grandfather died, and did so until my grandmother's death. I helped her go through her mail (what's important, what was intentionally designed to deceptively look important), balance her checkbook, and sometimes try to get her to go to the doctor (she never would). To celebrate Christmas I would bring her a little table-top tree, a present for her, and a homemade pumpkin spice cake that she liked. When I'd leave the next day, she'd make me take the Christmas tree back home with me. And sometimes even the gift. She kept the cake. :)

Mostly, though, we talked and enjoyed each other's company. We talked about her life, her people back in Mississippi that I never met, about my life and my kids, about things we both loved (Art and New Mexico), and shared recounting the many of our favorite memories of times spent together since I was a little girl, her first grandchild.

I was always dreaming up ways to bring some little extra something when I visited, especially something she wouldn't make me take back home with me. I heard the title poem of this book on the radio somewhere (NPR?) and decided I had to share that with her. It was the exact kind of sentiment she had in her old age. But I knew she'd make me take the book back.

So I decided that instead of bringing a book, I would bring just the poem to her. Recite it to her. I asked my youngest daughter, who was about 10 at the time, to read it and record it on a cassette tape. I listened and rewound that tape over and over on the drive there, memorizing it.

When I arrived, I had it memorized. I gave it my best rendition. And, just as I predicted, she loved it.

I might even still have that cassette tape of my little girl reading it aloud in a stack of various "blank" cassette tapes that I have kept but no way to play any more.

Note to self: find a cassette tape player.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. I’d heard about it and wanted to read it for years. I was disappointed. Some of the writing is beautiful and the pictures are memorable.

I didn’t enjoy reading it. Many of the stories, poetry, etc. were depressing. As a 69 year old woman, I was hoping for a book that celebrated growing older.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An anthology - photos, poetry, short stories and essays about being female and aged.
It's good to pick up and put down.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Getting old is something I think about a lot. Hopefully the expanse of life is still before me, but the desire to shape myself into something beautiful and graceful is always there. The desire to be an old woman who isn't invisible, overlooked. To reach my dotage and still have value in a world that will want to shut me away, hoping I die as conveniently and as soon as I can manage.
This refreshing collection takes a look at all the lumps and bumps of aging and tells you that you're allowed to go kicking and screaming if you want to. I laughed, teared up, and was surprised by the intimacy of the poetry and short stories.

It made me think not only about how I want to live, but also about how I want to die. The choices that need to be made before someone makes them for me... just so many thoughts and emotions wrapped up in such a small book. Now it's time to schedule lunch with my grandmother

[lasyuh · Rating 3 out of 5]

When you are consumed with bitterness, where do you put all the good times? (p.120)

The disease we both have is being born women into a man's world. (p.86)

Time heals all wounds.
You will mourn Mother
the rest of your life. (p.62)

of a woman
turned and turned to her ripening,
whose life is dear
as a signed first edition,
whose death as costly
as a polished oak bed. (p.76)

"We are real", you say, and so we are,
standing here in our simple flesh
where upon complicated histories are written,
our bodies turning into gifts
at the touch of our hands. (p.93)

Nothing lasts
not love
or the beloved
or hope
even mountains crumble
only the ocean waits
to catch our tears
Bags of memories
tell us who we were
before we were wise (p.167)

3.5/5

[Stephanie Bruno · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this on a whim at a book sale because I loved the title. It’s a beautiful collection of poetry and short stories. Some of them left me breathless with emotion - I love stories of generations of women and the beauty of aging as a woman. A lot of these will stick with me.

[Lindsay Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

some of these made me laugh and others made me cry. Growing old is beautiful

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect 10/10 no notes! Poems every woman should read about getting older.

[Danielle Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is 1/2 essays, 1/2 poems. The essays didn’t grab me, I only read one or two of them. The poems were remarkable. I liked it so much I bought the sequel

[Meg Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded.
Sweetie little book

[WORDMAN · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book takes it’s cue from the poem written by Jenny Joseph called Warning:

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter……” (in-part)

When I am an Old Woman is a compilation of sentiments regarding midlife and beyond. A varied semblance of authors and photographers sewn together by its Editor, Sandra Martz.

One of my favored poems in this book, is –

The Thugs
written by Mura Dehn

“The years don’t serve their time,
they’re runaways, they bump each other off
sun up, sun down.

Time, master mugger,
snatched this century
out of my hands
and fled.”

This is the type of book that comes back to visit like an old friend you haven’t heard from in years. The kind where not a beat is skipped in the conversations and laughter between you as you see each other again. As though time had stood still.

The photographs depict women in their aging years, and the words overflow with a passion that not everyone can relate to. Except, of course, if your youth has been spent. To those of you who still own the young years of your life, take heed to appreciate that you too carry your book inside until it’s time to let it go.

Ruth Harriet Jacobs said it best in her poem:

Becoming Sixty

“….. A book flowed from my life
to those who needed it
and love flowed back to me…..” (in-part)

Stunning photographs; Passion; and a road shared by all of us. Sooner or later.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

You may pick this up for the title, perhaps you have heard of the saying...... but read it for the wisdom contained within. How to grow up, with humility, grace and love.

Social Security (page 127)
By Barbara Bolz

She knows a cashier who
blushes and lets her use
food stamps to buy tulip
bulbs and rose bushes.

We smile each morning as I
pass her - her hand always
married to some stick,
or hoe, or rake.

One morning I shout,
"I'm not skinny like
you so I've gotta run
two miles each day"

She begs me closer, whispers
to my flesh, "All you need,
honey, is to be on welfare
and love roses."

[Edwina Book Anaconda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wasn't at all like I thought it would be.
I was expecting cute and witty and funny little old ladies running amok, what I got was mostly sad glimpses into the lives of women whose clocks are almost out of time.
A couple of the poems had me in tears and the story where the son-in-law is disgusted because the old woman soils herself at the kitchen table had me livid.
This is the most depressing book I've read this year.

[Una Tiers · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are enchanting poems read with grace and heart. I highly recommend them on tape.

[NK · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked most of the stories and poems, not the entire collection. My feeling is more depressed than comforted.

[SuZanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend gave me this book and I sighed. I remembered I had given a workbook copy to my mother when she turned sixty years old. I thought it would be fun for her to reflect and honor herself at that age. Then after she died at ninety-five years, I found it in pristine condition on a bookshelf, perhaps never read. Half through reading it myself, I thought, “No wonder my mother never read it, it’s horridly plain.” And wrote:

“Boring, did not hold my interest. A few of the poems are good, while most are unmemorable, and I hope I do forget them very soon. The prose is written by average writers about average or less than average lives. Who cares? I read to be taken away imaginatively somewhere of interest not to be counting the pages and hoping the stories end very soon.”

Like going to the dental office, I decided to give the last half of the book one more chance. Meanwhile, I had discovered two things: first, some of the stories of the previous day’s reading were still lingering and resonating in my mind; and second, I began to appreciate the largely unrecognized or unappreciated lives of some women represented in the prose. A woman diagnosed as “mad” while going through “the change.” No one ever writes about that. Impoverished women who make beautiful quilts; an art teacher vilified and forced into retirement for her unorthodox methods.

The poetry spoken in the voice of a bag lady or written to a deceased grandmother or old friend or elderly woman living alone is poignant and at times disturbing. Lost sight, lost hearing, sagging skin, faulty memories, loneliness are but a few issues represented. “How little it all comes to,” as one poem states. Poems with titles like “Endings” and “Last Visit to Grandmother” make it clear where they are going as they let us into the diminished lives of elderly women.

Truthfully, I don’t want to think about being quite aged some day. It’s not comfortable. Yet, I respect the purpose of the book, to give voice to elderly and aged women who have not been heard from much in our youth-focused society. Published in 1991, this ground-breaking anthology has been printed several times, so obviously, there is an audience that needs and wants to read it. And who am I to criticize anything that gives voice to my fellow women?

[Cheryle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have long quoted this poems first line to justify my liking to wear purple.
This enchanting collection of fiction, poetry, and photographs evokes the beauty, humor, and courage of women living in their later years. More than 1.7 million copies have been sold, thanks to its universal message of aging as a natural gift of life. Winner of the American Booksellers Book of the Year Honors Award (1991), and two Benjamin Franklin Awards: for design and content, literature (1988), and for excellence and innovation in marketing, literature (1992), When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple has been applauded for its honest and inspiring approach to the much neglected topic of aging. When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple has created a network of support and encouragement: the sixty-plus men and women whose work is included, the readers who have taken the time to share how the book has touched their lives, and the booksellers who have so graciously recommended it to buyers. Stories and poems such as Warning, Like Mother, Like Daughter, Love at Fifty, Near Places, Far Places, and Dear Paul Newman tell of the endearing moments of joy -- and passion -- to be found in the rich and varied world of midlife and beyond. This award-winning anthology has earned a word-of-mouth popularity because, as the Los Angeles Times said, the time is ripe for such a message.

[Victoria & David Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this (and kept at it) because the title is so evocative. It is the first line of a poem by Jenny Joseph called 'Warning'. In retrospect, I should have skipped the book and searched for more Jenny Joseph. The rest of the entries were, with a very few exceptions, just not up to that quality. The premise: old and aging women and their sense of loss and diminishment is more than worthy of exploration. (although in this book that apparently starts at about the age of forty).

I kept remembering Simon & Garfunkel and their album 'Bookends' where they interview residents at a New York home for the aged and the voice of one woman who says "I still do it. I still lay on the half of the bed."

Old friends, old friends
Sat on their park bench like bookends
A newspaper blown through the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes of the old friends
Old friends, winter companions, the old men
Lost in their overcoats, waiting for the sunset
The sounds of the city sifting through trees
Settle like dust on the shoulders of the old friends
Can you imagine us years from today
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange to be 70
Old friends, memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an anthology of poems and short stories about ageing. Illustrated with black and white photographs, the majority of the entries are sad, sad, sad. Jenny Joseph, the author of Warning, the poem from which the collection got its name, wrote the foreword, and Warning is the first poem listed. The Coming of Winter is a beautiful sonnet, and two or three of the selections are humorous. I especially liked Post Humus, wherein the poet wants her ashes scattered in her garden so that friends can come by on August afternoons, pluck a bright red globe and enjoy eating it, then say, "That Patti, she sure is some tomato!" I also liked I Know the Mirrors, where part of the last line reads, knowing that no woman ever looked better in a beard. There are 181 entries in the collection, something for every mood.

[Pam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have owned this book for decades and just got around to reading it. Of course, I have always liked the poem on which the title is based. I found most of the rest of the poetry and short stories contained in the book to be a bit of a disappointment. Many of them focus on the very elderly. These observations ring true. However, none seem to address those who are in their 70s, 80s and even 90s who still are contributing members of society. I know many of them and felt their stories should have been celebrated, too.

[Susanna Natti · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book to read when you are a certain age and I have reached that place. I found the short stories and poems funny, disturbing, poignant and oddly comforting. Despite the feisty title, many of these entries are about the fading of vitality and the rigors of aging. In that reality, however, is where I found the comfort: the saying goes, "aging is not for sissies", and the dignity often presented in these stories are ultimately about the courage to keep living.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this for my mother’s 68th birthday and I’ve finally read it at age 71. I read it in bits and pieces because it’s made up of poems and short stories that are meant to be reflected upon. Themes include loss, strength and resilience. It’s tough growing old, but there is often a freedom that goes along with old age, like not getting dressed all day or wearing a red hat with a purple dress. Good for thought for all of us.