Torn: Why People We Love Are Leaving the Church and What We Can Learn from Them

by Jeff Strong

Drawing on one of the most comprehensive studies ever conducted on Latter-day Saint disaffiliation-including surveys of more than 20,000 current and former members-along with interviews, personal experience, and national research, author Jeff Strong-a former bishop, mission president, BYU faculty member, and advisor to the Church-offers rare clarity into a painful and often misunderstood reality. The research suggests that nearly 40 percent of once-active Latter-day Saints in the United States have stepped away from Church participation over the past twenty-five years.

But this book is about far more than statistics. It is about sons and daughters. Husbands and wives. Friends and ward members. It is about thoughtful, sincere people striving to live with integrity-and the many believers who remain in the Church yet feel increasingly torn themselves.

Inside this book you will

why many sincere believers step away from the Church the deeper cultural tensions shaping faith today what faithful members can learn from those who leave how families can navigate these experiences with greater understanding how a more Christ-centered culture can strengthen faith and belonging Rooted in faith and written with deep love for the Church and its people, Torn does not ask readers to choose sides. Instead, it invites them to see more clearly, listen more deeply, and respond more like Jesus Christ.

If someone you love has stepped away from the Church-or if you yourself feel caught between faith, love, belonging, and conscience-this book will help you feel seen, informed, and hopeful.

Because being torn does not have to be the end of faith. It can be the beginning of deeper understanding, stronger relationships, and a more Christlike way forward.

Genres: Religion, Lds

331 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 15, 2026

Reviews

[Hillary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does an excellent job of explaining why so many members step away from the Church. The author writes with real compassion and sincerity, and it’s clear he genuinely wants to understand people’s experiences. I appreciated the empathetic, nuanced tone, and the survey data was genuinely useful and insightful.

The Positives
- Nuanced and empathetic — He avoids easy answers and digs into the emotional and cultural side of disaffiliation.
- Accurate read on why people leave — A thoughtful overview of the many factors that influence someone’s decision to step away.
- Christ‑centered, sincere advice — Written for believing members, the tone is supportive, hopeful, and genuinely well‑intentioned.

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Blind Spots
- Too much focus on culture
While culture absolutely plays a huge role in the Church, I would’ve loved to see other points addressed more thoroughly. Doctrinal and historical concerns are only briefly acknowledged, which leaves the book a bit unbalanced.

- Preachy tone at times
Some parts read like sacrament talks, which feels ironic given the topic.

- Selective quoting
He highlights softer, compassionate statements from leaders but avoids the harder or contradictory ones, unintentionally mirroring the issue he’s trying to address.

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Overall, the book is thoughtful, sincere, and genuinely helpful. I’d give it 3.75 stars for its earnest, nuanced, and Christ‑centered approach. It has a few blind spots, sure — but honestly, don’t we all.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Jeff, for tackling this difficult subject and helping to change the narrative! People usually leave the LDS church after wrestling with both their faith and doubt for over a decade. This is often prompted from a deep sense of integrity. This is a complex topic. Disaffiliation is something that is affecting most of us in some way and there needs to be healing and reconciliation. While I appreciated Jeff's insights, I felt like some of the topics needed to be fleshed out a little bit more. There definitely needs to be more gathering and less sorting. But part of me wonders, would we really make room for members across all levels of belief and orthodoxy in our church? Would we accept into our fold those who simply claim the LDS church as part of their cultural heritage, those who do not believe in the historicity of the Book of Mormon, those who question if our church is literally lead by God? So many questions, but thank you once again Jeff, for getting the dialogue started...

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jeff Strong provides insights from personal experience, research, and a perspective of faith about why people leave the LDS church. Although it is not a how to book, it is a great tool in developing understanding. I highly recommend it for parents and LDS leaders. By developing understanding why people leave we can better understand how we can make room at the table for all.

[Kailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really hope all members of the church will read this. Important research and encourages conversations and changes that need to be instigated. I’ve seen a lot of references to his findings going around, but I think it’s important to go to the primary source - he makes the data and analysis very accessible/easy to understand.