'No Plan B, Malcolm!'

by Mervyn S. Whyte

Four weeks off his fortieth birthday and with a mid-life crisis looming large on the horizon, shelf-stacker and self-proclaimed philosopher, Victor Porter, regrets ever joining the working classes. Attempting to write his magnum opus in his head while at the same time as trying to survive a typical day at work, standing in his way are the fine messes his friend Malcolm gets him in to, the constant surveillance from Kurtz the security guard, the amorous attentions of Customer Services’ hopeless romantic Violet, and the homicidal threats from a twenty-five stone monster called Angel. With a pocketful of midget porn burning a hole in his reputation, scribbled threats to kill his department manager and burn down the store discovered on his person, and a mix up over an engagement ring, Victor’s day steadily slides into a slapstick nightmare of stolen locker keys and sorties into the ladies toilets. Armed with only a dead mother, a bottle of whisky and a bad case of gynecomastia, and with “No Plan B” to fall back on, can Victor survive until the end of the day in one piece and still remain single? And will he ever finish that book…? A broad farce with adult humour, “No Plan B, Malcolm!” is a comedy of manners for the Supermarket Age.

383 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 27, 2015

Reviews

[Brendan James · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this wacky supermarket satire full of madcap mayhem. The crazy cast of superbly drawn characters keep the farce and the action zooming along right to the end. If you like a bit of clever slapstick and aren’t easily offended by bonkers and bawdy humour, then this is a great book that’ll have you laughing like a drain from one page to the next. There’s also a nice strand of broader social satire woven throughout the book. All in all, a hilarious and thoroughly entertaining read – still chuckling!

[ukkindlecustomer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Supermarket Sweep

Outrageous old school pantomime cum farce, not for the easily offended. Reminiscent of Tom Sharpe down to the Apartheid era white supremacist South African ex-policeman. Hilarious, viciously satirical comedy.

[Alison Dixon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not for me

Gave it a try, definitely not my kind of humour, but I can see why certain folks might like it.