A detailed analysis of a married couple undergoing the shock of the husband's affair. The book's suspense (which the author attempts to carry over 370 pages) lies in whether the marriage will survive, and in the combat between the wife (Juliette) and mistress (Victoire) for the affections of the pusillanimous, egotistical, and moody husband/lover: Olivier. Olivier cannot make up his mind between his long-suffering wife and his obsessive mistress (think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction); and he spends much of the book vacillating between the two and asking the women to fight over him. The primary flaw in this book was my incredulity that two women--however low their self-esteem--would bother fighting over such an unattractive human being. Even when the husband eventually claims to have chosen his wife over his mistress, he continues responding to the texts and phone calls of his mistress, purportedly (or so he tells his wife) because he doesn't want to hurt his mistress's feelings. although paradoxically indifferent to the suffering he thereby inflicts on his wife. One has the impression that the real reason that the husband continues to maintain contact with the mistress is to prolong his role at the center of a drama, in which his ego is inflated by the sight of two women fighting over him. Given that my criticism is based on the book's lack of verisimilitude, imagine my surprise when I read that the book was at least partially autobiographical.
The unworthiness of the husband as the object of affection is not lost on the wife. She explains, "the primary reproach against Olivier was not that he was full of contradictions--he wouldn't be the only one--but instead that he tossed them around helter skelter without worrying about the consequences. In love, we owe a minimum of synthesis to our loved one: we can't dump all our feelings and contradictions in a discombobulated pile and ask the other to make sense of them, to figure out the guiding principle, to piece everything together so that they work and make sense." In short, the wife justly criticizes her husband for abandoning the responsibility of sorting through his emotions.
The silver lining in this book is the author's exploration of why couples stay together. She offers various reasons. To some extent, it's inertia. Neither Olivier nor Juliette wants to deal with the financial and emotional wreck of divorce, including trying to build separate lives with their young children after having spent so many years together. To some extent, the author offers an unromantic explanation: Love--at least the kind that maintains a long-term relationship--isn't a coup de foudre. As Alard writes, "Don't you think that at a certain point, love becomes unique because you chose it? Don't you think that one decides to love, to continue to love, and to no longer love? Don't you agree that there is a voluntary aspect to love?" "Declarations of love have limited value over time. They are only good at a particular moment, when they are said or written. They are a volatile currency subject to wide fluctuations, losing all value in a single night." The wife's conception of love differs from the volatile, and ultimately unsustainable, love of the mistress that is incompatible with the ordinariness required to build a life and family. Alard's contrast between the passion of a short-term affair and the emotional foundation of a long-term marriage is not original; but I found several of her musings nonetheless sincere and interesting. In addition, I appreciated how the book's ending (which I won't spoil) rejects an opportunity to trumpet the merits of marriage, and, instead, leaves questions about the possibility of obtaining emotional or physical satisfaction in a long-term relationship.