What do you think?
Rate this book
When We Were
The debut novel from Diana Elliot Graham,
When We Were,
is a beautiful, clever, and complex dual timeline love story about a woman who discovers fourteen years later that the break up that nearly broke her, was nothing more than a miscommunication.
In 2007, Arden Bancroft was away from home and ready to experience everything college has to offer. With a core group of new friends, a packed course load, and the confidence to match, she immediately throws herself into the college scene. While she might be intelligent and self-assured, she still has a lot to learn when it comes to relationships and it becomes clear as soon as she meets him.
Now, more than a decade later, when posed with a question about breakup sex, she reaches out to her college boyfriend for his perspective but his response is one she never imagined.
Despite all the years apart they are forced to confront the realization that the breakup they both remembered was nothing more than a painful miscommunication.
Arden finds herself retelling the story of the years and relationships that shaped her. Starting at the very beginning, revisiting her freshman year of college, her first meaningful love, and all that followed. Reconciling what she spent years believing to be true with the reality that memories aren’t always honest.
In 2007, Arden Bancroft was away from home and ready to experience everything college has to offer. With a core group of new friends, a packed course load, and the confidence to match, she immediately throws herself into the college scene. While she might be intelligent and self-assured, she still has a lot to learn when it comes to relationships and it becomes clear as soon as she meets him.
Now, more than a decade later, when posed with a question about breakup sex, she reaches out to her college boyfriend for his perspective but his response is one she never imagined.
Despite all the years apart they are forced to confront the realization that the breakup they both remembered was nothing more than a painful miscommunication.
Arden finds herself retelling the story of the years and relationships that shaped her. Starting at the very beginning, revisiting her freshman year of college, her first meaningful love, and all that followed. Reconciling what she spent years believing to be true with the reality that memories aren’t always honest.
Audible Audio
Published May 1, 2026
506 people are currently reading
8580 people want to read
About the author
Diana Elliot Graham
3 books189 followersDiana Elliot Graham is proof that you don’t need to be an author to be an author. First and foremost she is an avid reader who never read a book she regretted. She calls herself the accidental-author because she wrote her debut novel, When We Were, with some spare time, an interesting concept, and a “just keep writing” mentality. (And a lot of encouragement, okay bullying, from friends and family.) Since then, she has numerous projects that are in varying degrees of semi-finished that may or may not ever see the light of day.
Now, here she is, writing this bio as imposter syndrome ripples through her entire body, still shocked that anyone cares enough about her writing to stumble on this blurb that has been uncomfortably written in third person. So I’m just going to stop. Follow me on social media for updates on future projects. Or don’t.
Now, here she is, writing this bio as imposter syndrome ripples through her entire body, still shocked that anyone cares enough about her writing to stumble on this blurb that has been uncomfortably written in third person. So I’m just going to stop. Follow me on social media for updates on future projects. Or don’t.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 535 reviews
April 26, 2023
this made me feel a lot of things but good isn’t one of them
February 24, 2024
“So it doesn’t matter how we choose to remember what happened between us. I know two things...” He looks deep in my eyes, preparing himself for something that seems difficult to admit. “One.” He holds up a finger, and lets the soft smile pull on his lips. “I loved you.” “Two.” He extends a second finger, and the smile falls flat. “Not enough.”
Ahhh. This book broke my heart, but I'd pick it up and read it again right now with no hesitation. I am a happily ever after gal through and through. I LOVE love. This is a beautifully written love story. But it is also honest, realistic, and highlights human flaws. Sometimes, often times, love is messy. Deep, profound, life changing, and not able to withstand the test of time or outside influences.
When We Were has so many elements that I love:
-Book within a book
-Past & present timelines
-Written in first person
-Male/female point of view alternating chapters
-Strong female lead
Although we are given a happily ever after of sorts (think Lala Land) I can't help but wish for more for these characters. Or at least a deeper look into their current lives. I love how the author used him/her as opposed to the characters names at the start of the book. It was a fun twist to feel like you knew the direction the book was taking one moment, then second guess everything the next.
What a wonderful debut! Beautiful and heartbreaking, but wonderful none the less. I am looking forward to reading more from Diana Elliot Graham. 4 stars.
Ahhh. This book broke my heart, but I'd pick it up and read it again right now with no hesitation. I am a happily ever after gal through and through. I LOVE love. This is a beautifully written love story. But it is also honest, realistic, and highlights human flaws. Sometimes, often times, love is messy. Deep, profound, life changing, and not able to withstand the test of time or outside influences.
When We Were has so many elements that I love:
-Book within a book
-Past & present timelines
-Written in first person
-Male/female point of view alternating chapters
-Strong female lead
Although we are given a happily ever after of sorts (think Lala Land) I can't help but wish for more for these characters. Or at least a deeper look into their current lives. I love how the author used him/her as opposed to the characters names at the start of the book. It was a fun twist to feel like you knew the direction the book was taking one moment, then second guess everything the next.
What a wonderful debut! Beautiful and heartbreaking, but wonderful none the less. I am looking forward to reading more from Diana Elliot Graham. 4 stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 5, 2023
It's been awhile since a book made me so nervous that I had to stay up all night just to finish it. It's heartbreakingly good and I love it! And I'm so grateful to my booktwt friend who helped me get an ARC. This book made my heart ache so bad that I can't even sleep after. I only have 3 hours of sleep now and it was all worth it.
I'm not totally a fan of miscommunication trope but this made me love and hate it at the same time. It is that well-written! I started with my heart slowly breaking into two and ended with it being shattered into thousand of pieces. And I'm not even complaining.
If you want to get your heart broken (plus some spicy scenes too!), this is a must read! Get ready for a rollercoaster ride full of emotions.
-
Thanks to the author, Diana Elliot Graham, for generously providing me an ARC to review.
Quotes are taken from the ARC and are subject to change in the final version.
If you've ever read a romance novel, you'll know this is what they call the dreaded miscommunication trope. (It is my least favorite trope.) But normally it’s figured out during the third-act break up before the happily ever after.
I'm not totally a fan of miscommunication trope but this made me love and hate it at the same time. It is that well-written! I started with my heart slowly breaking into two and ended with it being shattered into thousand of pieces. And I'm not even complaining.
If you want to get your heart broken (plus some spicy scenes too!), this is a must read! Get ready for a rollercoaster ride full of emotions.
-
Thanks to the author, Diana Elliot Graham, for generously providing me an ARC to review.
Quotes are taken from the ARC and are subject to change in the final version.
February 19, 2023
This book is going to stay with me for the rest of my life. I went over halfway in this book thinking one thing for it to emotionally slap me in the face and question everything.
May 3, 2023
FUCK! what a twist
i’m so miserable after this book
i’m so miserable after this book
October 1, 2022
I truly cannot comprehend what I just read. I have never been so fully engrossed in a novel before this one. I love getting this feeling after reading a book and it doesn’t happen often.
I laughed, I swooned, I cried. And it isn’t very often that the twist actually surprises me.
This is truly for every person that has ever loved someone and looks back, whether it ended good or bad.
The cast of characters builds such a robust story that honestly, I felt right at home.
I laughed, I swooned, I cried. And it isn’t very often that the twist actually surprises me.
This is truly for every person that has ever loved someone and looks back, whether it ended good or bad.
The cast of characters builds such a robust story that honestly, I felt right at home.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 5, 2022
Stop what you are doing and go read this book!! 5/5 ⭐️
I don't even know where to begin when it comes to this review. I've been lucky enough to not just read this book once, but twice now. In it's beta and arc stages, and I truly can't wait to have a physical version in my hands.
When I tell you this book will crush your soul, please know that I mean it in the best possible way. When We Were isn't your traditional romance story, but it has everything you didn't know you needed. It's not the traditional happily ever after you expect, but it's still perfect. It's so REAL.
It's made me look back on my own choices when I was 18-21 years old and cringe at the memories but also show myself so much more love than I used too. The story is incredibly relatable. Makes you laugh. Makes you cry (a lot). But most of all, makes you FEEL. I felt the love, the heartbreak, and the everything in between. And that's my sign of a really damn good book.
I could write a thesis on this damn book and I'm trying not too with my review so I'll leave it with my original remark to DEG herself... SOUL CRUSHINGLY GOOD.
I don't even know where to begin when it comes to this review. I've been lucky enough to not just read this book once, but twice now. In it's beta and arc stages, and I truly can't wait to have a physical version in my hands.
When I tell you this book will crush your soul, please know that I mean it in the best possible way. When We Were isn't your traditional romance story, but it has everything you didn't know you needed. It's not the traditional happily ever after you expect, but it's still perfect. It's so REAL.
It's made me look back on my own choices when I was 18-21 years old and cringe at the memories but also show myself so much more love than I used too. The story is incredibly relatable. Makes you laugh. Makes you cry (a lot). But most of all, makes you FEEL. I felt the love, the heartbreak, and the everything in between. And that's my sign of a really damn good book.
I could write a thesis on this damn book and I'm trying not too with my review so I'll leave it with my original remark to DEG herself... SOUL CRUSHINGLY GOOD.
February 28, 2023
Original review:
I’m going to need awhile to recover from this one. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. Full review to come.
Updated review:
This book review is long overdue, I read this book (twice) in January and have been struggling to find the words to write a review about it.
But how do you begin to review a book that reaches into your chest and rips your heart out. How do you explain that reading this book felt like therapy, that it felt like the closure you never got after that breakup years ago.
This book deeply resonated with me in a personal, and downright intimate way. I had to stop and wonder how Diana Elliot Graham was able to crawl into my brain and see all my deepest thoughts and fears. How she wrote something so emotional that reading the words on the page felt like a slap to the face and a kick to the stomach.
This book unraveled me, and forced me to look inwards towards myself, and my past in order to come to terms with things that had happened to me years ago. I realized that those things I thought I had healed from were actually still gaping wounds.
I know reading is subjective and not everyone will fall in love with this book the same way that I did. But if you find yourself thinking about the “what ifs” in life, and want to read a beautifully written and heartbreaking story about love. I urge you to pick this one up. I also recommend going into this one without reading the synopsis for the best reading experience.
I’m going to need awhile to recover from this one. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. Full review to come.
Updated review:
This book review is long overdue, I read this book (twice) in January and have been struggling to find the words to write a review about it.
But how do you begin to review a book that reaches into your chest and rips your heart out. How do you explain that reading this book felt like therapy, that it felt like the closure you never got after that breakup years ago.
This book deeply resonated with me in a personal, and downright intimate way. I had to stop and wonder how Diana Elliot Graham was able to crawl into my brain and see all my deepest thoughts and fears. How she wrote something so emotional that reading the words on the page felt like a slap to the face and a kick to the stomach.
This book unraveled me, and forced me to look inwards towards myself, and my past in order to come to terms with things that had happened to me years ago. I realized that those things I thought I had healed from were actually still gaping wounds.
I know reading is subjective and not everyone will fall in love with this book the same way that I did. But if you find yourself thinking about the “what ifs” in life, and want to read a beautifully written and heartbreaking story about love. I urge you to pick this one up. I also recommend going into this one without reading the synopsis for the best reading experience.
February 10, 2023
If you’ve ever looked back at a relationship that ended years ago and wondered what if, this book is for you!
When We Were follows a dual timeline: the past, when our main characters met, fell in love, and broke up in college, and the present (14 years later), where they are now distant friends who keep in touch but are thrown off course when they realize their break up was a result of miscommunication: they both thought they were broken up with by the other.
I finished this book 2 days ago but needed to take some time to process what I just read because I got emotional every time I thought about this book over the last 48 hours. Reading this book made me feel like I was 18 again, going through my first real heartbreak. When We Were felt so real, it really showed how life doesn’t always go the way you want or expect it to go.
This is not your typical romance book, it's not for everyone, but it definitely was for me! I can honestly say it is unlike anything else I’ve ever read. I think it’s best to go into this book with an open mind and no expectations at all.
This book was realistic and bittersweet, but it was also completely different than what we usually see in the romance genre and I really loved that.
This book has a dual POV, a dual timeline, and a mystery element of who the “him” POV is. It’s also available on Kindle Unlimited!
Rating: 4.5/5 stars
When We Were follows a dual timeline: the past, when our main characters met, fell in love, and broke up in college, and the present (14 years later), where they are now distant friends who keep in touch but are thrown off course when they realize their break up was a result of miscommunication: they both thought they were broken up with by the other.
I finished this book 2 days ago but needed to take some time to process what I just read because I got emotional every time I thought about this book over the last 48 hours. Reading this book made me feel like I was 18 again, going through my first real heartbreak. When We Were felt so real, it really showed how life doesn’t always go the way you want or expect it to go.
This is not your typical romance book, it's not for everyone, but it definitely was for me! I can honestly say it is unlike anything else I’ve ever read. I think it’s best to go into this book with an open mind and no expectations at all.
This book was realistic and bittersweet, but it was also completely different than what we usually see in the romance genre and I really loved that.
This book has a dual POV, a dual timeline, and a mystery element of who the “him” POV is. It’s also available on Kindle Unlimited!
Rating: 4.5/5 stars
February 7, 2023
The story was interesting and enjoyable at points but overall felt long-winded and I found myself getting bored, though it did consistently keep me wanting to find out what happens next. With a dual timeline set up, I found myself highly preferring the current timeline to the past one as the past felt drawn out and overly detailed.
March 5, 2023
Booktok failed me. It could’ve been about 200 pages less. It could’ve had 3-4 chapters subtracted of the same unexpected 🌶 scene over and over. Still, the ending should’ve been left as less. This book was incredibly wordy.
If you got to the ending, you likely understand. I appreciate the “twist”. However, Josh had way too many praises, chemistry and cared too much about her well being to turn and sexually assault her the way he did. As for Reid, how does that mess of a break up leave them friends for years after a coffee shop date where it all started? The story went from realistic to not likely. This book had potential and it all fell apart. By the middle I caught myself skimming pages but when I would start to reread the page, I didn’t miss a thing. It was the identical repetitive details I just read 3 pages back. This is proof that not all first time authors can write a book. I almost didn’t finish this one. I honestly can’t believe I did, but I powered through because of these other 5 star reviews about the ending.
If you got to the ending, you likely understand. I appreciate the “twist”. However, Josh had way too many praises, chemistry and cared too much about her well being to turn and sexually assault her the way he did. As for Reid, how does that mess of a break up leave them friends for years after a coffee shop date where it all started? The story went from realistic to not likely. This book had potential and it all fell apart. By the middle I caught myself skimming pages but when I would start to reread the page, I didn’t miss a thing. It was the identical repetitive details I just read 3 pages back. This is proof that not all first time authors can write a book. I almost didn’t finish this one. I honestly can’t believe I did, but I powered through because of these other 5 star reviews about the ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 22, 2023
Why isn’t this more popular?!? It hit so close to home and I went through a whirlwind of emotions. I read the entire thing in one night, finishing at 230am sobbing.
October 17, 2022
warning: from my personal perspective, this was not a hea, this was heartbreaking. I’ve never wanted to punch every single character in a book before. a 4.5 🌟 read
December 3, 2022
This book is the damn definition of “I want to throw my kindle across the room, but in a good way?” 🙂🙂🙂🥲🥲💔💔🥲💔🥲
August 23, 2025
greetings from the pit of despair
December 30, 2022
This book got me out of a major reading slump!!
As much as I want to sit here and give you an in-depth dissertation on why I genuinely loved this book, I don’t want to spoil it. One of the downsides of being an avid reader is that you genuinely can guess how a book is going to end but not with this book. I pulled an accidental all-nighter (we've all been there) because I couldn’t put it down. Truly a beautiful love story that I, a non-emotional individual, got in her feelings.
If you’ve read this much of my rambling, just exit Goodreads and download the book on KindleUnlimited. Thank me later.
As much as I want to sit here and give you an in-depth dissertation on why I genuinely loved this book, I don’t want to spoil it. One of the downsides of being an avid reader is that you genuinely can guess how a book is going to end but not with this book. I pulled an accidental all-nighter (we've all been there) because I couldn’t put it down. Truly a beautiful love story that I, a non-emotional individual, got in her feelings.
If you’ve read this much of my rambling, just exit Goodreads and download the book on KindleUnlimited. Thank me later.
January 23, 2023
I think this book was well written but it was just too much for me. I had a hard time focusing on words on the page bc there was just soooo much. I kind of dreaded the dual timeline bc whenever it was in the past I just wanted to know what the miscommunication ended up being. This book definitely has a twist I didn’t see coming which is refreshing, and you end up not liking the person you thought you liked which was like ??!?!!!
This book was not a slow burn it was like a slow ache. All I feel is sad. Even if it tied up the way it “needed to” it wasn’t the ending I wanted 🥲
like i just finished it and my heart still hurts a lil
This book was not a slow burn it was like a slow ache. All I feel is sad. Even if it tied up the way it “needed to” it wasn’t the ending I wanted 🥲
like i just finished it and my heart still hurts a lil
August 21, 2023
We were not expecting to like this book. As a whole, we do not like miscommunication tropes. They never work for us. But this book IS the exception. As two people who are sick of the typical romance structure and happy endings. This was heartbreakingly refreshing.
It felt real. It felt like this was a true story because it doesn’t always work out how we want. In their own separate ways they got their happy ending. And it’s totally okay that their happy ending didn’t fit in the cookie mold of romance books.
Diane’s writing was so intriguing and kept us guessing the entire time! The spice was unexpected but was definitely “five pepper spice” as Arden would say!! Prepare to feel all of the things, it really was a wild ride.
We would definitely recommend.
-Rebekah and Jess
(Tipsy Book Reads Podcast)
It felt real. It felt like this was a true story because it doesn’t always work out how we want. In their own separate ways they got their happy ending. And it’s totally okay that their happy ending didn’t fit in the cookie mold of romance books.
Diane’s writing was so intriguing and kept us guessing the entire time! The spice was unexpected but was definitely “five pepper spice” as Arden would say!! Prepare to feel all of the things, it really was a wild ride.
We would definitely recommend.
-Rebekah and Jess
(Tipsy Book Reads Podcast)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 4, 2022
This book effectively broke my heart and put it back together in the weirdest of ways.
I have so much for AB and for Reid respectively. They are both amazing characters, characters who know who they are and can look back on their past and own the mistakes that they’ve made. And even in doing so, accept that they weren’t really mistakes in the grand scheme of things.
For so long of the book, I spent a lot of time rooting for the wrong boy. I knew… I knew something was going to have happened after the breakup but not who. I never would’ve guessed the who. And maybe, like her friends, I should’ve expected that. But I didn’t at all. And that right there is what makes this author an incredibly talented author.
Thank you, Diana Elliott Graham, for the ARC copy!
I have so much for AB and for Reid respectively. They are both amazing characters, characters who know who they are and can look back on their past and own the mistakes that they’ve made. And even in doing so, accept that they weren’t really mistakes in the grand scheme of things.
For so long of the book, I spent a lot of time rooting for the wrong boy. I knew… I knew something was going to have happened after the breakup but not who. I never would’ve guessed the who. And maybe, like her friends, I should’ve expected that. But I didn’t at all. And that right there is what makes this author an incredibly talented author.
Thank you, Diana Elliott Graham, for the ARC copy!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2023
no one contact me, i’m going through something
(A full fledged review will be posted at a later date but I got a three hour class tomorrow at 8:30am so I must hit the figurative hay. But rest assured, I have things to say about this one!!!)
(A full fledged review will be posted at a later date but I got a three hour class tomorrow at 8:30am so I must hit the figurative hay. But rest assured, I have things to say about this one!!!)
May 17, 2023
Not the love story you want, but maybe the one you need.
January 27, 2023
𝙊𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 “𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬”
Probably the easiest 5 stars I’ve ever given, are you kidding me? This. Freakin. Book. The writing? Spectacular. My emotions? Freakin all over the place. The story? Unforgettable. Highlights? 297 of them. My heart? Shattered. Thank you
I’ll try to get myself together enough to form a full review but just trust me and go into this blind and enjoy the ride. oh and make sure you read all the way to the end of the acknowledgments.
WOW
𝙐𝙥𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜
why yes I did reread this within 24 hours of finishing it. My previous statements all remain and I still don’t have the words for this, but probably never will. I absolutely loved this book, and the second time was even better. It’s one of the most real and honest books I have ever read. The writing is phenomenal and I went through 3 whole highlighters annotating this. There is honestly so much to this book I want to talk about but cannot risk spoiling a single thing so I just highly recommend reading it and then talking to either DEG herself or someone who’s read it because woah. This book is so unique and it was one of the best reading experiences of my life. Prepare for me to never shut up about it!
DEG, thanks for letting me be obsessed with you and your book and for talking through literally every point in the book.
Probably the easiest 5 stars I’ve ever given, are you kidding me? This. Freakin. Book. The writing? Spectacular. My emotions? Freakin all over the place. The story? Unforgettable. Highlights? 297 of them. My heart? Shattered. Thank you
I’ll try to get myself together enough to form a full review but just trust me and go into this blind and enjoy the ride. oh and make sure you read all the way to the end of the acknowledgments.
WOW
𝙐𝙥𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜
why yes I did reread this within 24 hours of finishing it. My previous statements all remain and I still don’t have the words for this, but probably never will. I absolutely loved this book, and the second time was even better. It’s one of the most real and honest books I have ever read. The writing is phenomenal and I went through 3 whole highlighters annotating this. There is honestly so much to this book I want to talk about but cannot risk spoiling a single thing so I just highly recommend reading it and then talking to either DEG herself or someone who’s read it because woah. This book is so unique and it was one of the best reading experiences of my life. Prepare for me to never shut up about it!
DEG, thanks for letting me be obsessed with you and your book and for talking through literally every point in the book.
February 25, 2024
Okay… this book was so different than anything I’ve read! I felt fully immersed in the story, and let me just say I made myself SAVOR this book. It ripped my heart out, but taught me a lesson I genuinely needed in my life. I can’t wait to read more books from Diana Elliot Graham because WOW with the storytelling and writing.
April 29, 2026
My Rating: ♾️/5⭐️ or if that’s unrealistic then I’d say as many as the pieces of my shattered heart. 🥲
“I’m here because I needed you to understand, without a shadow of a doubt, how I felt about you when we were. I need you to understand how I felt. How I still feel, in many ways.”
5:45AM - I’m not okay, guys. I need time to process this. My eyes hurt, not just from hours of reading & the lack of sleep, but because I can’t stop crying. The tears won’t stop falling. Pretty sure I’m broken. 😶
9 hours later - Was this really a debut novel?! You had no right, Diana Elliot Graham… No right to put me through all these emotions. No right to… Damn it! The tears are back! 😭
How do I even start? *Closes eyes, takes a deep breath, then slowly opens eyes* I guess, to begin with, I should just tell you that this is about a couple in college who fell in love, but broke up. They do stay in touch, but it’s not until 14 years later that they discover it had all been a miscommunication. She thought he dumped her, but he thought she was the one who broke up with him. Then, they flash back to 2007 to when it all started.
And… that’s all, folks. 😂 I don’t think I can say much more without spoiling it for you. 😆 You see, each POV is titled “HER” or “HIM.” Now, it’s obvious that “HER” is Arden, but “HIM” remains a mystery for more than half of the book so you’re just gonna have to read it to find out who he is. Sounds fun, right? ☺️
Just know that this book made me swoon. It made me laugh out loud. It made me angry. It made me gasp so hard, I slapped myself. And you already know it broke me in the best possible ways. It was so beautifully written that I found myself highlighting entire pages, trying to absorb every single word. This is such a complex story with the realest “happily ever after.” So real, I know many of you will relate to it. I certainly did. Please do yourself a favor & read this now (or next) & prepare lots of tissues. 😭
PS. If you’re one of those people who think you can’t learn anything of value from a romance novel, this one’s for you. 😘
Reread #1 - ALC REVIEW
Sound the alarm, people. This is not a drill. Audiobook besties, you are no longer safe. When We Were will finally be available on Audible on Friday, May 1st! Be prepared to have your hearts shattered & your souls crushed. I’m kidding, of course—you’ll never be prepared so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If you’ve been following me a while, you should already know this is my all time favorite book & these characters have haunted me for the past 3 years. Now that I’ve heard their voices, I will never move on. @devonchandler & @alastair were absolutely perfect for this. If you’re reading this book for the first time, please send me all the updates & let me live vicariously through you.
“I’m here because I needed you to understand, without a shadow of a doubt, how I felt about you when we were. I need you to understand how I felt. How I still feel, in many ways.”
5:45AM - I’m not okay, guys. I need time to process this. My eyes hurt, not just from hours of reading & the lack of sleep, but because I can’t stop crying. The tears won’t stop falling. Pretty sure I’m broken. 😶
9 hours later - Was this really a debut novel?! You had no right, Diana Elliot Graham… No right to put me through all these emotions. No right to… Damn it! The tears are back! 😭
How do I even start? *Closes eyes, takes a deep breath, then slowly opens eyes* I guess, to begin with, I should just tell you that this is about a couple in college who fell in love, but broke up. They do stay in touch, but it’s not until 14 years later that they discover it had all been a miscommunication. She thought he dumped her, but he thought she was the one who broke up with him. Then, they flash back to 2007 to when it all started.
And… that’s all, folks. 😂 I don’t think I can say much more without spoiling it for you. 😆 You see, each POV is titled “HER” or “HIM.” Now, it’s obvious that “HER” is Arden, but “HIM” remains a mystery for more than half of the book so you’re just gonna have to read it to find out who he is. Sounds fun, right? ☺️
Just know that this book made me swoon. It made me laugh out loud. It made me angry. It made me gasp so hard, I slapped myself. And you already know it broke me in the best possible ways. It was so beautifully written that I found myself highlighting entire pages, trying to absorb every single word. This is such a complex story with the realest “happily ever after.” So real, I know many of you will relate to it. I certainly did. Please do yourself a favor & read this now (or next) & prepare lots of tissues. 😭
PS. If you’re one of those people who think you can’t learn anything of value from a romance novel, this one’s for you. 😘
Reread #1 - ALC REVIEW
Sound the alarm, people. This is not a drill. Audiobook besties, you are no longer safe. When We Were will finally be available on Audible on Friday, May 1st! Be prepared to have your hearts shattered & your souls crushed. I’m kidding, of course—you’ll never be prepared so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If you’ve been following me a while, you should already know this is my all time favorite book & these characters have haunted me for the past 3 years. Now that I’ve heard their voices, I will never move on. @devonchandler & @alastair were absolutely perfect for this. If you’re reading this book for the first time, please send me all the updates & let me live vicariously through you.
October 4, 2022
*For full disclosure: I received an ARC copy, but would still rate this the same and stand by what I said even if I didn’t receive an ARC*
I took such an emotional journey while reading this book. I have always closed myself off to relationships which, until Reid, I feel like Arden also feels in a way. This book gave me hope that even though right now I may not have experienced my epic love story, it is still out there waiting for me. I just need to be honest with myself about what I want and find a man (take note: NOT a boy) who values that honesty, and more important, values me. The true, unabashed, genuine me.
Some other bits I love that made the book unique that might also spoil it if you haven’t read it yet:
Graham’s writing allows for all the time jumps to flow seamlessly, making it seem like I’m sitting at the coffee shop table with Arden and Amanda. The writing is so descriptive I feel like I’ve lived these scenes with the characters because of all the detail. I also love the jokes about the tropes and how well they fit into the storyline. Overall, Graham took me on a journey that through the story allowed me to reflect on my own life and the choices I have made that have gotten me here. All of the choices that Arden and Reid made allowed them to build the lives that they wanted with the people they fiercely love. While their choices didn’t lead to a life with them together in the end, they built lives full of happiness and love. Something that I hope my own choices will lead me to one day. A life that is what I want.
I took such an emotional journey while reading this book. I have always closed myself off to relationships which, until Reid, I feel like Arden also feels in a way. This book gave me hope that even though right now I may not have experienced my epic love story, it is still out there waiting for me. I just need to be honest with myself about what I want and find a man (take note: NOT a boy) who values that honesty, and more important, values me. The true, unabashed, genuine me.
Some other bits I love that made the book unique that might also spoil it if you haven’t read it yet:
Graham’s writing allows for all the time jumps to flow seamlessly, making it seem like I’m sitting at the coffee shop table with Arden and Amanda. The writing is so descriptive I feel like I’ve lived these scenes with the characters because of all the detail. I also love the jokes about the tropes and how well they fit into the storyline. Overall, Graham took me on a journey that through the story allowed me to reflect on my own life and the choices I have made that have gotten me here. All of the choices that Arden and Reid made allowed them to build the lives that they wanted with the people they fiercely love. While their choices didn’t lead to a life with them together in the end, they built lives full of happiness and love. Something that I hope my own choices will lead me to one day. A life that is what I want.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 15, 2022
I’m not much of a reviewer (I think this is my second time) so take this more like an journal entry for my personal memories
If you are looking to hurt, this is the book. I can’t remember why I downloaded this book, could have been from a tik tok or the description just caught my attention while I was browsing on KU. Having not have finished more than 10 minute ago, I can’t figure out if I regret reading or am thankful that I read it.
Being a 25 year old female who has never dated or am looking to date long term I tend to fixate towards books where I can live through the female. 62% way through the book I realized no way in hell did I ever want to be in Arden’s place. Or would i ever (I like the to think). I don’t like not finishing a book so I obsessively finished, a tiny part of was hoping they would end up together.
if you have read the book then you know how it ends. the mature side of me loves the ending. My teenage HEA side hates the ending. Even now, I can’t tell which side of me was tearing up at the ending.
Very few books these days take up my mind after I hit “read” on my Goodreads but this book will get a full 2 weeks mourning period. My poor roommate will have to deal with me recounting the whole book (which will be painful since I never tell it in order & jump around too much for her to comprehend) till I find a new book that takes up my mind.
If you read this far and have read it, comment or message so we can have a discussion. I don’t think this book should he forgotten.
To the author: beautiful writing. beautiful story. thank you.
If you are looking to hurt, this is the book. I can’t remember why I downloaded this book, could have been from a tik tok or the description just caught my attention while I was browsing on KU. Having not have finished more than 10 minute ago, I can’t figure out if I regret reading or am thankful that I read it.
Being a 25 year old female who has never dated or am looking to date long term I tend to fixate towards books where I can live through the female. 62% way through the book I realized no way in hell did I ever want to be in Arden’s place. Or would i ever (I like the to think). I don’t like not finishing a book so I obsessively finished, a tiny part of was hoping they would end up together.
if you have read the book then you know how it ends. the mature side of me loves the ending. My teenage HEA side hates the ending. Even now, I can’t tell which side of me was tearing up at the ending.
Very few books these days take up my mind after I hit “read” on my Goodreads but this book will get a full 2 weeks mourning period. My poor roommate will have to deal with me recounting the whole book (which will be painful since I never tell it in order & jump around too much for her to comprehend) till I find a new book that takes up my mind.
If you read this far and have read it, comment or message so we can have a discussion. I don’t think this book should he forgotten.
To the author: beautiful writing. beautiful story. thank you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 8, 2023
Honestly, I don't know how I feel after finishing this book. I truly feel like the author's tiktoks lied to me. I thought, for sure, that this was going to be a second chance best friend-to-lovers kind of book but
THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE AT ALL
. Even if there's a romance story inside it and some mild spice. It's a contemporary novel and I'm pissed. I even send some of the tiktoks to a friend and she agrees with me.
Since i was waiting for the second chance romance part of it, I'm disappointed and I feel like I can't rate this book since it sucks as a romance but now I know it's not ... but I don't know how I like it as a contemporary. I think I would have prefered it to be more in chronological order but I did like the ambiguity of the "Him" part. I went back and forth before making my mind.
Since i was waiting for the second chance romance part of it, I'm disappointed and I feel like I can't rate this book since it sucks as a romance but now I know it's not ... but I don't know how I like it as a contemporary. I think I would have prefered it to be more in chronological order but I did like the ambiguity of the "Him" part. I went back and forth before making my mind.
January 23, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
REREAD: January 2023
Man this fucked me up even more the second time.
*Received ARC on 9/30/22*
I knew I was going to enjoy this book from the description, but as I drove in, I was so pleasantly surprised & grateful to find a story that sucked me in so deeply.
This is a “stay-up-until-3-AM-because-you-just-can’t-put-it-down” book. A story about love & growth & miscommunication that feels so relatable & heartbreaking that it consumes your every waking thought as you read.
“Our love lost, story.”
I am so thankful to have gotten the opportunity to read this & can’t recommend it enough!
Some Notes:
TW - Sexual Assault
Spice - 🌶🌶
Similar To - One True Loves, Funny You Should Ask, Tell Me Lies
REREAD: January 2023
Man this fucked me up even more the second time.
*Received ARC on 9/30/22*
I knew I was going to enjoy this book from the description, but as I drove in, I was so pleasantly surprised & grateful to find a story that sucked me in so deeply.
This is a “stay-up-until-3-AM-because-you-just-can’t-put-it-down” book. A story about love & growth & miscommunication that feels so relatable & heartbreaking that it consumes your every waking thought as you read.
“Our love lost, story.”
I am so thankful to have gotten the opportunity to read this & can’t recommend it enough!
Some Notes:
TW - Sexual Assault
Spice - 🌶🌶
Similar To - One True Loves, Funny You Should Ask, Tell Me Lies
April 21, 2023
I cannot recommend this book enough, the dynamic between all of the characters, the writing, it was absolutely well-written. It literally made me sob, I opted to read this through Kindle Unlimited but have not had a story break my heart the way this one did, hence why I bought it to always make sure I have a copy in my shelves. Diana did a phenomenal job in this and I’m looking forward to her future works.
10/10.
10/10.
April 7, 2025
It’s not often something leaves me completely speechless, let alone a romance book, but this one has done it. The concept and execution are unlike anything else I’ve ever read and done so well. No matter where you assume the story will end, I can assure you that you’ll be wrong! This book ripped my heart out and then put it back together again, one of the best books I’ve read in years.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 535 reviews