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374 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication June 23, 2026
“I’m…” He hesitated. “I’m not like that.” The words were quiet and soft, and the control he usually held slipped, causing them to waver. My mind replayed the rumours I’d heard about Jasper. Everything rolling around and mixing together. Then it started to play what had been said about me in the past—different rumours, different people, same shape. Stories born from nothing and taking on a life of their own. Lies seeded with lies. I knew he had gone to prison. I knew what he went there for, because everyone made sure of it. But I also knew the reasons why people did things. What caused them to make choices they didn’t think they had any other way out of. I didn’t know Jasper’s reasons. Maybe he had good ones. Maybe he didn’t. I had no idea.
Amber touched my shoulder gently. I flinched. Not because she’d done anything wrong. But because touch was an input; I didn’t always process fast enough to feel safe.
The way he let me take control sat in my chest, heavy under my ribs. I didn’t think I’d realised how badly I’d wanted that until it happened. Ever since I moved away from home it was like I’d been gripping at my life with wet hands. Between bills and work and classes and routines that didn’t settle properly no matter how many times I repeated them, I couldn’t get a hold of anything for long. Getting randomly paired with Jasper had been the final insult. Random wasn’t something I liked. Random meant variables I couldn’t account for. It meant walking into a room and not knowing what I was supposed to do with myself. And it meant other people deciding things for me. Then the rumours happened, and random stopped being random and started being inevitable. I couldn’t get a hold of anything. Until now.