Changing Normal: How I Helped My Husband Beat Cancer

by Marilu Henner

New York Times bestselling author, memory expert, radio host, and beloved actor Marilu Henner delivers an intimate account of how she and her husband stood together in the face of cancer and triumphed—without chemotherapy or radiation.

Marilu Henner was moving on with her life after a divorce when her old college classmate Michael Brown, whom she had not seen in over twenty years, called her out of nowhere. Within days of their first meeting in 2003, they were planning a life together, and soon they were inseparable as Michael became ever more integrated into Marilu’s family. But after only months they were thrown the ultimate Michael was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and then lung cancer.

Marilu refused to lose the love of her life so easily. With the knowledge she had gained on her own health journey, chronicled in several of her bestselling books, Marilu set about finding a path for Michael that would use the best of Eastern and Western medicine to beat his cancers and return Michael to optimal health. Michael eschewed most traditional treatments and with Marilu’s help—aided by knowledgeable and sympathetic doctors—he forged his own path.

In this moving and informative book, Marilu tells the story of their fast-paced romance and how this contrasted with the day-to-day battle for Michael’s life. Michael tells the story from his point of the search for the cause of his cancer, the mental anguish he felt as he realized how responsible he was for his condition, the physical and mental hardships that he had to overcome, and the triumph of love that made it all worthwhile.

Not a “how-to” book in the traditional sense, Changing Normal is a book of empowerment, a call for all those facing similar challenges to take responsibility for their lives, to search for the causes of their illness and address them directly. Written with an engaging voice, a sense of humor, and life-changing wisdom, Changing Normal is a personal and touching look at how Marilu and Michael faced down a cancer diagnosis and came out the other side happier, healthier, and more in love than ever.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Memoir

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 12, 2016

About the author

Marilu Lucy Henner is an American actress, producer and New York Times best-selling author.

Reviews

[Maryann Watkins · Rating 2 out of 5]

I heard Marilu Henner and her husband, Michael Brown, being interviewed on NPR ... this book, she said, was about how she helped her husband beat bladder cancer by changing his life's "normal." So, I bought the book hoping to find out more about the diet she recommended, integrative medicine and how it worked, the supplements he took, etc. That's not what I got.

What I got for the first two-thirds of the book was the story of how Marilu and her husband, Michael, found each other years and years after knowing each other in college. I learned about their career successes, marriage failures, life experiences ... and then the magic of getting together later in life and falling in love. This is a love story ... and, for whatever reason, they made sure to include mentions of the exciting sex, wake up sex, sex on a train, Savoy sex. I'm not sure why they felt the need for that, but had I wanted a nice sexy book, I would have reached for a sensual, sexy romance novel.

In the last third of the book (maybe less), I started getting more about how Michael changed his life - his normal - in order to stay alive. I wanted information about the diet, but will have to go elsewhere - the only thing I got was no meat, no dairy, no sugar. Wow. Rebounding was explained and skin brushing was sort of explained. Michael injected something which was named, but not explained at all. Supplements were mentioned but not named. Bottom line: I still know very little about what Michael actually did ... and that's a pity because his bladder cancer went into remission and has not returned. What he did - worked! He is much healthier today. But the specifics about how he got there ... well, we have to guess since most specifics are left out.

I also wanted to get an idea of whether the average guy down the street could do what Michael did. He and Marilu obviously have more money than most people, so ... all the doctors, the food, the supplements, the treatments, the travel to different doctors ... could that guy down my street afford all that? I don't think so. I get the sense that Michael's normal isn't something I could afford should I get sick ... I may not even be able to afford it to stay healthy.

Michael came across as quite judgemental in several places in the book. It was kind of like: You make yourself sick so if you don't change everything right now ... your fault and you deserve it ... bye bye.

I wanted to like this book. I wanted to learn. What I really learned is that these two people love and support each other - and they like sex. What I didn't learn are the specifics about Michael's new normal. And that's why I bought the book. If you're looking for a love story, go for it. If you want answers like I did, look elsewhere.

[Ariel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because I was looking for some health tips during my own cancer battle. One thing Marilu gets right is that there is no holistic approach to fighting cancer in the mainstream medical community. It's all chemotherapy and surgery, nothing about diet and healthy lifestyle changes. Unfortunately for the reader though there is not much practical advice in here. I enjoyed the story of how Marilu reconnected with a former college classmate only to find out that he had cancer after a lifetime of abusing his body. Marilu gets her new boyfriend to completely overhaul is lifestyle but this book assumes you have read her many previous books addressing health changes. I knew many of her diet suggestions, for instance you should be vegan: meat, dairy, and sugar free. While that might be expensive it could be attainable for most people but other things like flying across the country to see prestigious doctors, buying an infrared sauna, and colon cleansing on a regular basis is out of reach for most people not living on a Hollywood budget. I started out really liking the book but by the end I was sick of their traveling the globe in search of their next romantic rendezvous and the multiple mentions of their fabulous sex life. That is not to say that Marilu's boyfriend did not suffer in his treatments. All the money in the world can't save you from that when battling cancer. I just wish there was more emphasis on what an average person on an average budget can do to stack the deck in their favor. The best advice in this book, don't drink, don't smoke is common knowledge. If people choose to ignore that then there is a price to be paid no matter how accomplished you are or how much money is in your bank account.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 I admire anyone who takes charge of their health and makes real changes. Marilu Henner, an advocate for healthy living and eating, and her husband Michael, share their story of helping Michael beat bladder and lung cancer through non traditional treatment methods. Probably the most important bit of information they stress is to always get a second opinion. I would sure want Marilu Henner on my side if I was ever sick.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book to read because I thought it would have lots of practical advice on changing one’s life to not only deal with cancer more effectively, but also possibly to avoid having it in the first place. While the book does stress that one must change one’s lifestyle – “Changing Normal” - in order to cope with and rebound from cancer, it does not really go into the best ways to do so besides some mentions of diet, exercise, etc. – things I already know. There was little practical advice on the best ways to do so. However, I do know more than I want to about how wonderful their sex life is! I have to admit, this book was a disappointment.

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I attended the couple's recent appearance promoting the book at Barnes and Noble. Based on their presentation, I'm surprised that I'm enjoying the book and their stories since I thought it might be difficult to read (expected corny, over the top). Micheal's writing style is easy to read. I forgot about Marilu's impressive career - ie, original cast member of Grease. Her weight and health issues were insightful. The intro and first 2 chapters have gleamed many insights on how to live a healthier life and respecting/taking care of your body.

[Chellieland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is truly a great story about love and change. Both Marilu and her husband have charismatic voices and tell their stories well. You've probably heard the information before but it bears repeating especially in this age of instant gratification. It's getting harder and harder to take seriously those in the medical community who continue to belittle the facts about food and other toxins and how they directly relate to a person's health and well being.

[JERI B GROVES · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cancer is curable...but not by western medicine!

My husband made a seemingly miraculous recovery from Stage IV colon and liver cancer, but there was no miracle involved with completely changing to a carb and sugar free keto diet, drinking pure water, FIR saunas daily, and getting high-dose Vitamin C, curcumin and artesunate infusions as well as chelation therapy to remove toxins. People say it's so hard to do what we're doing but it's not that hard if your life depends on it.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring story. This is an encouraging book that rejects passivity in regards to health care decisions.
I liked the format where Michael and Marilu alternated writing chapters.
Interesting medical and lifestyle advice.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changing Normal: How I Helped My Husband Beat Cancer, is a book which details, incredibly candidly, the journey Michael Brown and wife-to-be found themselves taking when he received a cancer diagnosis. While Marilu Henner is the accomplished and beautiful, memory-full actor we know and love her as, this is really Mr. Brown's story, and he tells it without resentment or hesitation as open as any man would dare to share. His insights into the deeply honest pull he dragged his heart through to reclaim the health we all deserve to experience, is for me where the power of the life lesson he shares resides. Marilu is of course, a world renowned health advocate, I would say expert, and while she makes no claims to have a medical degree or all the answers, she does have resources from over 30 years of personal experience and deep investigation, making herself quite the guinea pig in chartering the health discipline she now follows, and teaches through her website, and books. More importantly she has no fear in asking the questions needing to be asked, and this is the great lesson she really offers. She is connected in many ways the ordinary person is not, but in following her resolve to always self-advocate, we learn how to communicate toward creating our own, "health-team," of doctors and practitioners. Every cancer story is different, and not all outcomes are the same. My father died from Multiple Myloma when he was only 50 years old. He lived a life of health (no smoking, no drinking, regular exercise and an incredibly positive attitude) that others could emulate through his example, but back in the 80's when not much was know of MM, and the only resource was toxic drugs, he braved what his amazing team of doctors recommended and while his cancer went into remission for 2.5 years, it did return and took his young life. Mr. Brown, in learning to love and accept all parts of himself, enabled true healing to accompany the fuel and medicine he ingested as supported by Marilu, and advised by his health-team. Through this he has safely weathered his very real, storm at sea.
This is a book for all to read. It is funny, thoughtful, a page turner, but more than that it reminded me I need to do better, and my normal can always be improved. I don't want to be normal, I want to be excellent!
This is an excellent book.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only skimmed this book, but what I read was good. I admire Marilu's diet and lifestyle choices, for the most part, but don't think I could do it myself. I wonder if no meat, dairy, or sugar is truly necessary to live a healthy life.

[Bree · Rating 1 out of 5]

Notes:
This is a weird memoir sort of book all about her life and her husband's life before they married. Then he goes to cancer treatment and with her "help" he recovers. I don't get it. One of the worst books I've read

[Ellen Pilch · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has had 2 close family members refuse regular treatment of cancer, I was eager to read this. Marilu Henner's husband had 2 types of cancer, one was neglected for years. This book points out how we need to take care of ourselves and speak up when something is wrong. It is always good to get a second ( and third ) opinion before doing anything drastic.

I like how this book pointed out the standard treatment people with cancer get. They tell you what kind of chemo one needs, but never mention supplements and nutrition. I remember going with my Mom 3 years ago to meet with an oncologist , not even expecting the mention of chemo, but that was all that was mentioned. It was straight out statistics of with and without. No discussion on healthy eating, supplements, etc.

I highly recommend this book for anyone with a cancer diagnosis themselves or for a family member. You are not just a number, you are unique and need to be treated the best possible way not just with a cookie cutter prescription for chemo that will make you sicker than you are to start.

[University of Chicago Magazine]

Marilu Henner, EX'74, and Michael Brown, AB'74
Coauthors

From our pages (Nov/16): "After being out of touch with him for more than 20 years, actress Marilu Henner reconnected with former classmate Michael Brown in 2003 and a relationship quickly blossomed. Several months later Michael was diagnosed with bladder cancer and then with lung cancer. Detailing how Marilu incorporated Eastern medicine and healthy habits into Michael’s treatment regimen, this candid account chronicles their successful journey to Michael’s remission, and how their struggles ultimately strengthened their relationship."

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great example of living life but living it with healthy ways and a positive attitude. Marilu Henner is so wonderful with her positive encouragement for the man who would be her husband and partner for life. Michael Brown is so fortunate to have been one of many who could fight cancer and stay in remission. More blessings for these two wonderful people who found each other again and now are living the healthy and loving life style they want

[Geraldine Mungin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. It was a little heavy on the back story (how they met, went their separate ways, met again) and I was more interested in what was actually done to get to the remission of cancer, but it was good. I have not read any of her other books but am interested in her 30 Days to a Total Health Makeover.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not great literature, this was a good book to give me a push onto the path of healthy eating. Ran out and picked up Henner's Total Health Makeover and loving the basic and ageless food wisdom. Fear of cancer is a powerful motivator!

[Marcia Piaskowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read the entire book and still not sure what exactly they did to fight his cancers. Usually I don't like books with bunches of lists or day-by-day descriptions of activities, but in this case that is exactly what was needed.

[Liz marx · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative. Everyone should have a Marilu in their life to help them.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very interesting theories. Easy reading and informative.

[Mary Lou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Marilu and Michael Brown’s 2016 book, Changing Normal, challenges western societies’ “norms” of health at all levels—diet, traditional medicine’s approach to disease, the care of our bodies, and the definition of “normal” itself. Marilu says: “Normal [in terms of one’s total lifestyle] is probably what got you into trouble in the first place. Normal has to be looked at. Normal has to be changed” (Changing Normal, How I Helped My Husband Beat Cancer by Marilu Henner and Michael Brown, Simon and Schuster, 2016, p. 11). One of her doctors agrees: “We each need to look at what we have been defining as normal in our current society in America. It’s normal to eat fast food, not exercise, be constantly stressed, and remain overweight most of our lives. And then, in our 30’s and 40’s, it’s normal to use pharmaceuticals to control—but not cure—the diseases we get: high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, cancer and others. Just by changing our definition of normal to a diet that is clean, with wholesome fresh organic foods, and a lifestyle of regular exercise and activities and hobbies that keep us happy, we can change the healthcare system of America to one that is well-focused rather than disease-fixing” (p. x). That’s the emphasis of the book and its story of how Michael beat two cancers in his body validates this alternative approach. Changing Normal is an important book on avenues of healing for the chronic diseases that affect so many people, particularly in the West. 4 stars
M.L.Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 3/30/2017