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Blue Butterfly #1
The Decimation of Mae
The Devil visited me three times in my life; albeit, my short life. Not in the physical sense, you must understand, but very much literally.
He was persistent, resolute and tenacious. His ruthless greed to annihilate me was utterly disturbing. I am sure if he had hierarchy, the man at the top would have dragged his arse into Hell’s prison for his unscrupulous methods.
I was just fifteen when I first became aware of what he was capable of. This initial taste of him set the playing field for how my life was to be lived – for want of a better word.
He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat at said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until, six months later, he won and took something of so much importance from me that I would never be the same again.
His second visit was, in my eyes, so much more cruel and heartless. I know we’re talking about the Devil here, and yes, you have a right to say he had no heart but even then, even when I was so utterly broken, I begged to differ and hoped – no, prayed – that somewhere deep in the caverns of his black, tortured soul there was something that beat and confused his emotions once in a while.
The third visit was somewhat different than the other two. He tried, and at first succeeded to bring me to my knees once and for all, but then something happened. God finally intervened and altered Satan’s intention; he sent hope and morphed the Devil’s minion into an Angel, hoping to break and shatter the anguish and suffering. He gave the ability for me to feel pleasure in pain, order in the chaos and light in the darkness.
But in giving me a reprieve, he also gave me something that would finally and ultimately obliterate me. He gave me the capability to love, therefore giving me the ability to be destroyed.
And Satan made sure that I was destroyed. Cruelly, viciously and sadistically.
I am Mae Swift, and this is the story of my decimation.
***WARNING***
This story doesn’t contain hearts and flowers, it doesn’t even contain the word ‘love’. It isn’t for the fainthearted, nor those who want romance and happy ever afters. It’s dark, in fact it goes beyond the dark realms of misery and despair. It contains disturbing scenes of sexual violence, cruelty and torture. It also includes self-harm, pain addiction and brutalisation.
Please bear this in mind before purchasing this book. Thank you.
He was persistent, resolute and tenacious. His ruthless greed to annihilate me was utterly disturbing. I am sure if he had hierarchy, the man at the top would have dragged his arse into Hell’s prison for his unscrupulous methods.
I was just fifteen when I first became aware of what he was capable of. This initial taste of him set the playing field for how my life was to be lived – for want of a better word.
He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat at said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until, six months later, he won and took something of so much importance from me that I would never be the same again.
His second visit was, in my eyes, so much more cruel and heartless. I know we’re talking about the Devil here, and yes, you have a right to say he had no heart but even then, even when I was so utterly broken, I begged to differ and hoped – no, prayed – that somewhere deep in the caverns of his black, tortured soul there was something that beat and confused his emotions once in a while.
The third visit was somewhat different than the other two. He tried, and at first succeeded to bring me to my knees once and for all, but then something happened. God finally intervened and altered Satan’s intention; he sent hope and morphed the Devil’s minion into an Angel, hoping to break and shatter the anguish and suffering. He gave the ability for me to feel pleasure in pain, order in the chaos and light in the darkness.
But in giving me a reprieve, he also gave me something that would finally and ultimately obliterate me. He gave me the capability to love, therefore giving me the ability to be destroyed.
And Satan made sure that I was destroyed. Cruelly, viciously and sadistically.
I am Mae Swift, and this is the story of my decimation.
***WARNING***
This story doesn’t contain hearts and flowers, it doesn’t even contain the word ‘love’. It isn’t for the fainthearted, nor those who want romance and happy ever afters. It’s dark, in fact it goes beyond the dark realms of misery and despair. It contains disturbing scenes of sexual violence, cruelty and torture. It also includes self-harm, pain addiction and brutalisation.
Please bear this in mind before purchasing this book. Thank you.
286 pages, Paperback
First published July 7, 2014
131 people are currently reading
2854 people want to read
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D.H. Sidebottom
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 424 reviews
July 6, 2014
Expected Release Date: July 18
What I expected when I started reading this book:
1. A captive story, main character falls in love with her captor/tormentor.
2.Violence, rape, torture.
3. Steam
Did I get that?
Yes.
Accept the pain. Fear the agony.
I've read my fair share of dark reads, and The Decimation of Mae can compete with the best of them. From the very first page, I could tell I was going to like this story. Mae Swift, lost her parents and sister when she was very young, and to cope she began cutting, she also uses drugs, she met Daniel when she was eighteen. Once. One night, one experience that still haunts her.
Fast forward five years and Mae is taken, she's to be sold but before that she'll need training. A process that entails, breaking her down, she'll learn that her wants and needs no longer matter, the only thing she can think of is what her Master wants from her.
That is what made him so powerful; not the pain he could cause my body, but the agony he brought to my soul.
It's funny how you think you'll react when being raped. I'm not sure how other people saw it but I always imagined I'd scream and cry and fight, but in the moment that a man took away my soul, I felt nothing.
Although very dark, this is also a very sad story. Mae, has been beaten and broken down by her past and present. Every day of her existence is a struggle and her only reprieve is when she cuts. She was actually quite a strong and resilient character, she never gave up.
Daniel's character is cruel, sadistic and he feeds off Mae's pain. He enjoyed it when she fought him, he's very much a villain and he's capable of and has done the most horrible things. Everyday that Mae is in his hands is a fight for her life.
Fuck his mind games and his attempts to take my sanity. It would never belong to him, I would never let go of it for him. I was me. I was Mae fucking Swift, daughter of Madeline Swift and Graham Swift, and sister of the strongest heart that had ever graced this God damned diseased planet.
I'll warn you, yes this is a dark story but it's quite an emotional one too. Yes it's not a love story but it is a story of love, the characters are not perfect. Mae, lives in a warped reality and her actions and reactions reflect that. This is not the darkest book I've read but I thoroughly enjoyed so I would definitely recommend it. It's not a mind-fuck but there are twists.
So why not five stars?
I'm anal about continuity in a book, lol!
ARC kindly provided by author in return for an honest review
What I expected when I started reading this book:
1. A captive story, main character falls in love with her captor/tormentor.
2.Violence, rape, torture.
3. Steam
Did I get that?
Yes.
Accept the pain. Fear the agony.
I've read my fair share of dark reads, and The Decimation of Mae can compete with the best of them. From the very first page, I could tell I was going to like this story. Mae Swift, lost her parents and sister when she was very young, and to cope she began cutting, she also uses drugs, she met Daniel when she was eighteen. Once. One night, one experience that still haunts her.
Fast forward five years and Mae is taken, she's to be sold but before that she'll need training. A process that entails, breaking her down, she'll learn that her wants and needs no longer matter, the only thing she can think of is what her Master wants from her.
That is what made him so powerful; not the pain he could cause my body, but the agony he brought to my soul.
It's funny how you think you'll react when being raped. I'm not sure how other people saw it but I always imagined I'd scream and cry and fight, but in the moment that a man took away my soul, I felt nothing.
Although very dark, this is also a very sad story. Mae, has been beaten and broken down by her past and present. Every day of her existence is a struggle and her only reprieve is when she cuts. She was actually quite a strong and resilient character, she never gave up.
Daniel's character is cruel, sadistic and he feeds off Mae's pain. He enjoyed it when she fought him, he's very much a villain and he's capable of and has done the most horrible things. Everyday that Mae is in his hands is a fight for her life.
Fuck his mind games and his attempts to take my sanity. It would never belong to him, I would never let go of it for him. I was me. I was Mae fucking Swift, daughter of Madeline Swift and Graham Swift, and sister of the strongest heart that had ever graced this God damned diseased planet.
I'll warn you, yes this is a dark story but it's quite an emotional one too. Yes it's not a love story but it is a story of love, the characters are not perfect. Mae, lives in a warped reality and her actions and reactions reflect that. This is not the darkest book I've read but I thoroughly enjoyed so I would definitely recommend it. It's not a mind-fuck but there are twists.
So why not five stars?
I'm anal about continuity in a book, lol!
ARC kindly provided by author in return for an honest review
December 28, 2016
i read about 20% of this book and i was so nervous about the plot so i needed to know if this story has a HEA so i jumped stright to it's ending, and i knew it dammit i knew it all i could say is : if you think this has a happy ending you haven't been paying attention !!!
February 9, 2017
“Love is made from dreams, and dreams are made of love.”
This is NOT the book for you if you expect hearts and flowers. If you expect romance you will NOT find it here. This is NOT a love story, that’s for sure, but it’s a story about love.“The Decimation of Mae” is dark and gritty, it's disturbing, but captivating at the same time. It’s a story about love and forgiveness, acceptance and survival, good and evil.
Mae Swift has no one. Loosing her parents and sister when she was young has been difficult for her. She doesn’t know how to deal with her loss and her pain so well, taking drugs and cutting herself. She meets Daniel, a handsome man when she’s 18, a devil in disguise, who will shatter her life and change her forever. He will kill her dreams and hopes and he will take her soul.
She meets the devil again when she’s 23. She is taken to be sold. She becomes a captive and she will be a slave to someone, but first she needs to be train. She's attracted to Daniel, even if she doesn't want to be. She doesn’t want to submit to Daniel, but her body betrays her every time he touches her. She hates him, but she craves him with all her heart.
“That is what made him so powerful; not the pain he could cause to my body, but the agony he brought to my soul.“
She hates the way he makes her feel and she hates herself because she wants to please him in every way.
To say that she’s confused will be a big understatement. Mae is strong, she never gives up. Daniel breaks her physically, she is abused in many ways, but he never destroys her spirit. I loved her courage and determination and how she fights for her life. She is strong, but not strong enough, because she can’t fight these feelings she has her captor. She can’t deny his power he has over her and how much he heals her.
She has a very kind heart. She hopes and later she sees the good in Daniel. In the end you will feel for Mae, for her past and her present.
“I will break you, Mae, (…) I will possess you so entirely that you will ask for permission to fucking breathe.”
Daniel is a sadistic son of a b*tch. He is manipulative and cruel and he knows what he does, he knows how to break a woman. He’s the devil. He admires this strong woman who doesn’t give up and who despite everything she still believe. Daniel's character is complex and well developed, but I’m not sure in the end everyone will love him or feel for him.
Mae and Daniel will change each other and they will give each other what they need the most - love, acceptance, forgiveness.
“You hide from me and for the first time in my life I need to see all of you, feel all of you.”
Mae and Daniel’s relationship progressed gradually, which I really liked. It felt real and credible.
The story is captivating and there are many interesting twists and turns that had me on the edge of my seat. I was ok with the ending. I didn’t love it, but I understand why the author chose to end the story like this. Even if I knew from beginning how everything will end, I enjoyed the story. It was a solid, complex story and it has an interesting, beautiful analogy.
Even if I finished the book days ago, I still don’t know how to feel about Daniel’s redemption. In the end I like to think that it’s possible when something/someone change your life in so many ways.
All in all, “The Decimation of Mae” was a fantastic dark read with two well developed characters, an intriguing plot line and great, captivating writing.
“You should never presume but always read the truths from the lies.”
January 17, 2016
Such a promising beginning. Then at 18% it all goes downhill.
Warning - SPOILERS
So a sicko rapes an 18 year old girl on their first date and she's traumatized and cuts herself. Then at 21, she sees him again. Because he's been stalking her. And then he kidnaps her. After several beatings, she's like:
20% - "His smile lit my insides, made me sigh as a reprieve in his anger gave my mind a moment’s peace, and a small jolt of happiness jerked my lips upwards into a tiny, proud smile."
Don't sound so happy, ok? :D
35% - After being beaten with an iron baton and 2 weeks recovery in bed, he asks her to kneel.
That's some guaranteed back pain right there.
Don't even get me started on the heroine. One moment she thinks of him as her "Master", "stunning, the sheer power he projected in that moment of euphoria hypnotising me, holding every single part of me hostage as I watched his satisfaction", the next he's "this guy", "crazy; a freak against nature".
Maybe she's unstable. Or maybe the author is inconsistent. I'm leaning towards the latter.
The only memorable thing about this so-called "Master" is the way he talks.
"You will succumb, Mae. You will give me everything, even your thoughts."
"Your body demands to be owned, lamb. The way it moves claims every man’s attention in this room."
What kind of douchebag talks like that?
At about 55%, they dance, at which point I decided to just DNFF. It makes no sense. I'm tired of trying to decipher this clusterfuck.
BR with Her Grace
July 18, 2014
”The devil wears many masks, Mae.” I smiled at him.
“And an angel has many personalities.”
[image error]
This story my first book by this author and it won’t be my last. I enjoyed the writing style but found the abuse very hard to read because Mae is kidnapped and suffers brutal beatings by her rapist of three years ago. The abuse was so extreme and her condition so frail that it was hard to believe she was up and moving by the next scene.
”He destroyed my life three years ago, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. That is what made him so powerful; not the pain he could cause to my body, but the agony he brought to my soul.”
Mae Swift was one kick ass character. She was so very likable, so clever, so strong that a reader will be in awe of the strength she possess during her dyer lot life has given her.
”Fuck him and his punishment. Fuck him and his demands! I was built to fight, my mind molded to deny any submission.”
Daniel(Master) was well written he possessed cruelty and his reactions to conversations with Mae where believable. Mae sure kept him on his toes.
”Your fists will never reach my mind, your harsh cruelty will never brush against my soul. You hate me for that, but you also admire me for it.”
Later in the story, Daniel does in fact learn what love and sacrifice is all about before it’s too late.
”You want to please me, love me,” I spoke candidly.”
This story has several twists and turns that were interesting and a bit extreme but added to this dark plot. The story for me was a hea but this is one it depends on your view of all the events once the story plays out.
"You were made for me, Lamb. This is so wrong." The strain in his voice hurt my soul and devastation clenched my heart. "Then make it right before I go, Daniel."
“And an angel has many personalities.”
[image error]
This story my first book by this author and it won’t be my last. I enjoyed the writing style but found the abuse very hard to read because Mae is kidnapped and suffers brutal beatings by her rapist of three years ago. The abuse was so extreme and her condition so frail that it was hard to believe she was up and moving by the next scene.
”He destroyed my life three years ago, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. That is what made him so powerful; not the pain he could cause to my body, but the agony he brought to my soul.”
Mae Swift was one kick ass character. She was so very likable, so clever, so strong that a reader will be in awe of the strength she possess during her dyer lot life has given her.
”Fuck him and his punishment. Fuck him and his demands! I was built to fight, my mind molded to deny any submission.”
Daniel(Master) was well written he possessed cruelty and his reactions to conversations with Mae where believable. Mae sure kept him on his toes.
”Your fists will never reach my mind, your harsh cruelty will never brush against my soul. You hate me for that, but you also admire me for it.”
Later in the story, Daniel does in fact learn what love and sacrifice is all about before it’s too late.
”You want to please me, love me,” I spoke candidly.”
This story has several twists and turns that were interesting and a bit extreme but added to this dark plot. The story for me was a hea but this is one it depends on your view of all the events once the story plays out.
"You were made for me, Lamb. This is so wrong." The strain in his voice hurt my soul and devastation clenched my heart. "Then make it right before I go, Daniel."
January 10, 2019
Genre: Dark Erotic Thriller
Type: Book 1 of 3 from The Blue Butterfly series
POV: First Person - Female
Rating:
Mae Swift’s life changed drastically when she was still young. For years she depended on her inner strength to survive. When she thought she was done suffering, Daniel Shepherd forced himself into her life and showed her what it truly meant to live in Hell.
I loved Mae pretty much immediately. She had a traumatic experience and showed a lot of vulnerabilities. But she was also sassy with a potty mouth that led her into a lot of trouble. I loved her defiance and tenacity but at the same time I was also hoping she was more agreeable for her own sake.
Daniel was not the kind of “hero” that everyone could accept. But for me, I love such unapologetic character. He was heartless and vicious. He was more a nightmare than a fantasy.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story overall. It was dark the way I like it even though a certain element made it a little lighter. There were several revelations that I didn’t expect so that made the story even more interesting. However, I felt there were too much going on within a short period of time towards the end. Those parts could use a little more elaborations.
The Decimation of Mae is a story of survival. It would appeal to readers who enjoy the dark side of humanity.
Books in the series:
💠 🦋 💠 . . . (F)BR With Twinise CC & Loyda . . . 💠 🦋 💠
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
Type: Book 1 of 3 from The Blue Butterfly series
POV: First Person - Female
Rating:
Mae Swift’s life changed drastically when she was still young. For years she depended on her inner strength to survive. When she thought she was done suffering, Daniel Shepherd forced himself into her life and showed her what it truly meant to live in Hell.
He didn’t deserve my surrender or my body and he would never own my mind, that was something I was sure of.
I loved Mae pretty much immediately. She had a traumatic experience and showed a lot of vulnerabilities. But she was also sassy with a potty mouth that led her into a lot of trouble. I loved her defiance and tenacity but at the same time I was also hoping she was more agreeable for her own sake.
“I will break you, Mae,” he hissed in my ear, his hot breath torture against my cold, damp skin. “I will possess you so entirely that you will ask for permission to fucking breathe.”
Daniel was not the kind of “hero” that everyone could accept. But for me, I love such unapologetic character. He was heartless and vicious. He was more a nightmare than a fantasy.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story overall. It was dark the way I like it even though a certain element made it a little lighter. There were several revelations that I didn’t expect so that made the story even more interesting. However, I felt there were too much going on within a short period of time towards the end. Those parts could use a little more elaborations.
The Decimation of Mae is a story of survival. It would appeal to readers who enjoy the dark side of humanity.
Books in the series:
💠 🦋 💠 . . . (F)BR With Twinise CC & Loyda . . . 💠 🦋 💠
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
Read
November 9, 2014 ****" FUCKETY- FUCK" DNF @27% *** 
This is a case of it's not you, its me. IMHO, Mae's dialogue was strange . .....Allow me to display the different sides of Mae.
The Purple Prose side of Mae:
"I gulped at the cool liquid when he held it to my lips and allowed me to drink, the lubrication to my sore throat was nectar but my belly griped angrily. I swallowed frequently as he poured small amounts into my mouth but as he removed it, my hand shot up to his to stop his confiscation of my life source."
“I clenched my teeth when he spoke, his voice was deep but steady, angry but calm and I knew deep within myself that anyone that controlled was very, very dangerous.”
“I hadn’t managed to take much of a breath before he’d plunged me under and my lungs struggled at the withdrawal of their stimulant. I kicked at him as a haze surrounded my vision and an almighty burn blistered my nostrils and throat”
“I closed my eyes as another tear leaked from me, just a sole one, a lonely one that craved the comfort of its partner and chased it down my face quickly as it tried to gain solace from its mate." .. I truly hope they reunite.
"Footsteps circled around me, their slow pace rhythmic and calming after the long silence, their thud, thud, thud sending me into a conscious unconsciousness. His breaths were heavy and loud, regular and paced precisely as he inhaled through his nose then exhaled through his mouth. It was amazing what your senses picked up after a deep quiet."
The Horny Juliet side of Mae
“I blew out a slow, steady breath when his closeness seemed to ignite the fire from my face around my body. Heat rippled across every inch of my skin as his low whisper developed a need inside me that demanded attention.”
"His grip was strong, yet warm and courteous, and I softened slightly, my concern ebbing away. ”
“I couldn’t help sighing in appreciation at the way his chest moved under the material of his shirt, making my stomach flutter with excitement... Shit! Down, you damn hormones!”
"The way he spoke brought on a warm glow, a relief that he liked me. His acceptance made my belly flutter.”
Lastly we have the "Say FUCCCCCK" side of :
“Holy shittin’ fuck,” I breathed "
“Fuck him and his high up judgements.”
“Who the fuck said dinner nowadays?”... Umm, that would be me.
“The outside world had never looked so fucking heartening and the adrenaline rushing through my veins doubled as I pushed harder and charged forward.
“I was exhausted, in extreme pain and my willpower had fucked off with the water down the drain.”
"If i had taken it at a practical speed and not acted like a fucking athlete at the Olympics."
“Why the fuck would he want me to kneel?”
“I eyes shot to his but I quickly lowered them and blew out a steadying breath. Oh God damn shittin’ fuck - I made sure to say it in my head that time”
“What – the – fuckety – fuck?”
It saddens me to say this didn't work for me. I wanted to love, I wholeheartedly expected to be this books bitch . While the plot itself was interesting, the wording was just - - ...
...ugh, I don't even know how to explain it, nor do I think it will be an issue for most readers. I'm a pain in the ass... I own it :-)
D.H Sidebottom, I wish you much success and look forward to reading another one of your stories in the near future .. I'm going to work on not being such a hard ass first . Don't worry, I'm not a troll. I promise :-D
For more reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
This is a case of it's not you, its me. IMHO, Mae's dialogue was strange . .....Allow me to display the different sides of Mae.
The Purple Prose side of Mae:
"I gulped at the cool liquid when he held it to my lips and allowed me to drink, the lubrication to my sore throat was nectar but my belly griped angrily. I swallowed frequently as he poured small amounts into my mouth but as he removed it, my hand shot up to his to stop his confiscation of my life source."
“I clenched my teeth when he spoke, his voice was deep but steady, angry but calm and I knew deep within myself that anyone that controlled was very, very dangerous.”
“I hadn’t managed to take much of a breath before he’d plunged me under and my lungs struggled at the withdrawal of their stimulant. I kicked at him as a haze surrounded my vision and an almighty burn blistered my nostrils and throat”
“I closed my eyes as another tear leaked from me, just a sole one, a lonely one that craved the comfort of its partner and chased it down my face quickly as it tried to gain solace from its mate." .. I truly hope they reunite.
"Footsteps circled around me, their slow pace rhythmic and calming after the long silence, their thud, thud, thud sending me into a conscious unconsciousness. His breaths were heavy and loud, regular and paced precisely as he inhaled through his nose then exhaled through his mouth. It was amazing what your senses picked up after a deep quiet."
The Horny Juliet side of Mae
“I blew out a slow, steady breath when his closeness seemed to ignite the fire from my face around my body. Heat rippled across every inch of my skin as his low whisper developed a need inside me that demanded attention.”
"His grip was strong, yet warm and courteous, and I softened slightly, my concern ebbing away. ”
“I couldn’t help sighing in appreciation at the way his chest moved under the material of his shirt, making my stomach flutter with excitement... Shit! Down, you damn hormones!”
"The way he spoke brought on a warm glow, a relief that he liked me. His acceptance made my belly flutter.”
Lastly we have the "Say FUCCCCCK" side of :
“Holy shittin’ fuck,” I breathed "
“Fuck him and his high up judgements.”
“Who the fuck said dinner nowadays?”... Umm, that would be me.
“The outside world had never looked so fucking heartening and the adrenaline rushing through my veins doubled as I pushed harder and charged forward.
“I was exhausted, in extreme pain and my willpower had fucked off with the water down the drain.”
"If i had taken it at a practical speed and not acted like a fucking athlete at the Olympics."
“Why the fuck would he want me to kneel?”
“I eyes shot to his but I quickly lowered them and blew out a steadying breath. Oh God damn shittin’ fuck - I made sure to say it in my head that time”
“What – the – fuckety – fuck?”
It saddens me to say this didn't work for me. I wanted to love, I wholeheartedly expected to be this books bitch . While the plot itself was interesting, the wording was just - - ...
...ugh, I don't even know how to explain it, nor do I think it will be an issue for most readers. I'm a pain in the ass... I own it :-)
D.H Sidebottom, I wish you much success and look forward to reading another one of your stories in the near future .. I'm going to work on not being such a hard ass first . Don't worry, I'm not a troll. I promise :-D
For more reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
June 6, 2017
Dark, disturbing, and twisted! The beginning had my full attention, but I lost interest for a chunk of the story only for my interest to return again at the end of the story. Every time the female lead addressed Daniel as Master, all I could think about was that I Dream of Jeannie show.
The pet name "lamb" irked me to death and was used 95 times, but I liked the major twists dropped at the end of this book.
The pet name "lamb" irked me to death and was used 95 times, but I liked the major twists dropped at the end of this book.
March 11, 2016
***** 5 "My Darling Lamb" Stars *****
"The devil visited me three times in my life.
He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until he won."
The life of Mae Swift if not a happy one. After losing her parents and sister, Mae is alone in this world with next to nothing. Bouncing from foster home, Mae lives her life the best she can, but seems to fall short on the best of things.
The day she is rescued from a handsome stranger, it looks like Mae might finally see some happiness and good things come her way.
Well, think again.
Daniel is not her savior, he is not her friend, he will not make you smile, he will not make you love him. Daniel is a devil and a monster.
Trusting Daniel was Mae's ultimate mistake. The next 3 years of Mae's life are beyond broke. After one night with Daniel, Mae's soul is shattered.
" I was his entertainment, a pawn there for his amusement."
The hold Daniel has on Mae is brutal and heart breaking. Mae will never see the path of her future coming and Daniel will never see the secrets Mae is hiding until the very end.
"You raped my body, you raped my spirit, you raped my life and now.....now you even raped my death."
When you think you have this story figured out, Mae and Daniel's relationship explodes in a direction you DO NOT see coming with a secret and sacrifice.
"Monsters have hearts like the rest of the animals on this planet."
This book will leave you speechless and gutted.
You will love Mae and hate Daniel beyond any words possible.
Your heart will break and scream.
Too many emotions with this story!
DH Sidebottom will leave you without your breath and screaming for more! ♡♡ LOVED ♡♡
"The devil visited me three times in my life.
He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until he won."
The life of Mae Swift if not a happy one. After losing her parents and sister, Mae is alone in this world with next to nothing. Bouncing from foster home, Mae lives her life the best she can, but seems to fall short on the best of things.
The day she is rescued from a handsome stranger, it looks like Mae might finally see some happiness and good things come her way.
Well, think again.
Daniel is not her savior, he is not her friend, he will not make you smile, he will not make you love him. Daniel is a devil and a monster.
Trusting Daniel was Mae's ultimate mistake. The next 3 years of Mae's life are beyond broke. After one night with Daniel, Mae's soul is shattered.
" I was his entertainment, a pawn there for his amusement."
The hold Daniel has on Mae is brutal and heart breaking. Mae will never see the path of her future coming and Daniel will never see the secrets Mae is hiding until the very end.
"You raped my body, you raped my spirit, you raped my life and now.....now you even raped my death."
When you think you have this story figured out, Mae and Daniel's relationship explodes in a direction you DO NOT see coming with a secret and sacrifice.
"Monsters have hearts like the rest of the animals on this planet."
This book will leave you speechless and gutted.
You will love Mae and hate Daniel beyond any words possible.
Your heart will break and scream.
Too many emotions with this story!
DH Sidebottom will leave you without your breath and screaming for more! ♡♡ LOVED ♡♡
October 12, 2015
Wow! This book was twisted, depraved, chilling...and I loved every damn minute! The Boogieman has a name. His name is Daniel Shepherd, but you can call him Master. He's cold. He's vicious. He's sexy as hell!
'The Decimation of Mae' is the first Book I've read by this author. I had heard from others that I didn't want to miss out on this book and read the rave reviews. Finally, I had a little time between release dates and I decided to pick it up and give it a try. I am so glad that I did!
Let me say that as a reader who loves dark, erotic, suspenseful stories, I often find it nearly impossible to find a satisfying story with darker elements, as well as intriguing characters and a captivating storyline. In my experience, most books in this genre go one of two ways. Either they are so heavy on the graphic violence and sex, without any focus on character or plot development, that you don't have any connection to the story, or they go to the other extreme, taking a sweet romance, tossing in a scene or two with the heroine handcuffed to the bed and try to pass it off as "dark". It is rare to find a story that delves into the dark, while pulling the reader into a masterfully written, soul-wrenching story. This story is one of those rare finds.
This story grabbed my attention early-on and didn't let go. I was consumed by Mae's plight. Her strength and defiance was awe-inspiring in the face of such a grim reality.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out and had shoved Daniel into a box labeled "irredeemable", another layer of this twisted tale was pulled back, revealing more about his sinister motives and forcing me to reevaluate my feelings. Yep, this story f**ked with my head big time!
Be forewarned, this book contains a brutal and emotionally closed-off villain. Don't expect a typical HEA. You won't find it here. There is a lot of violence, rape and other cruel and sadistic acts. If you cant handle that, you shouldn't open the covers of this book. If, like me, you enjoy a story that explores the darkest corners of your mind and challenges your boundaries, you'll probably love this book!
'The Decimation of Mae' is the first Book I've read by this author. I had heard from others that I didn't want to miss out on this book and read the rave reviews. Finally, I had a little time between release dates and I decided to pick it up and give it a try. I am so glad that I did!
Let me say that as a reader who loves dark, erotic, suspenseful stories, I often find it nearly impossible to find a satisfying story with darker elements, as well as intriguing characters and a captivating storyline. In my experience, most books in this genre go one of two ways. Either they are so heavy on the graphic violence and sex, without any focus on character or plot development, that you don't have any connection to the story, or they go to the other extreme, taking a sweet romance, tossing in a scene or two with the heroine handcuffed to the bed and try to pass it off as "dark". It is rare to find a story that delves into the dark, while pulling the reader into a masterfully written, soul-wrenching story. This story is one of those rare finds.
This story grabbed my attention early-on and didn't let go. I was consumed by Mae's plight. Her strength and defiance was awe-inspiring in the face of such a grim reality.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out and had shoved Daniel into a box labeled "irredeemable", another layer of this twisted tale was pulled back, revealing more about his sinister motives and forcing me to reevaluate my feelings. Yep, this story f**ked with my head big time!
Be forewarned, this book contains a brutal and emotionally closed-off villain. Don't expect a typical HEA. You won't find it here. There is a lot of violence, rape and other cruel and sadistic acts. If you cant handle that, you shouldn't open the covers of this book. If, like me, you enjoy a story that explores the darkest corners of your mind and challenges your boundaries, you'll probably love this book!
September 11, 2016
10 "Nadu" STARS!
DARK, DEVASTATING, HEART BREAKING, BREATHTAKING, SOUL SHATTERING!
I'll try, but nothing I can say will do this book justice. Take the warning serious. I'm not kidding, this is by far one of the darkest books I've ever read. It ripped me apart. I'm fucked. I'm decimated. I've read a lot of captive books lately, nothing has compared to this one, nothing. I cried, I cringed, I gasped, I started shaking.
"The devil visited me three times in my life; albeit, my short life. Not in the physical sense, you must understand, but very much literally."
Mae was dealt a shitty hand. A motherfucking shitty hand. She never lost her fight, her will! This is how you write a strong female. I admired her.
"The bastard wanted my soul then he'd get it, along with my spirit and wrath."
I'm not going in to detail because I will spoil the story. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. What the fucking HELL did you do to me? How can I hate you then love you. I'll admit I have Stockholm Syndrome, that's the only reasoning I can come up with. You WRECKED me, you ripped me apart, then you put me back together.
I will possess you so entirely that you will ask permission to fucking breathe."
This is going on my TOP FAVORITES SHELF!
DARK, DEVASTATING, HEART BREAKING, BREATHTAKING, SOUL SHATTERING!
I'll try, but nothing I can say will do this book justice. Take the warning serious. I'm not kidding, this is by far one of the darkest books I've ever read. It ripped me apart. I'm fucked. I'm decimated. I've read a lot of captive books lately, nothing has compared to this one, nothing. I cried, I cringed, I gasped, I started shaking.
"The devil visited me three times in my life; albeit, my short life. Not in the physical sense, you must understand, but very much literally."
Mae was dealt a shitty hand. A motherfucking shitty hand. She never lost her fight, her will! This is how you write a strong female. I admired her.
"The bastard wanted my soul then he'd get it, along with my spirit and wrath."
I'm not going in to detail because I will spoil the story. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. What the fucking HELL did you do to me? How can I hate you then love you. I'll admit I have Stockholm Syndrome, that's the only reasoning I can come up with. You WRECKED me, you ripped me apart, then you put me back together.
I will possess you so entirely that you will ask permission to fucking breathe."
This is going on my TOP FAVORITES SHELF!
November 25, 2014
Where do I start?????? This book ripped my heart outta my chest. And it didn't stop there. OH NO, it then proceeded to dance all over it! And you wanna know the sick thing? I LOVED the book! That's right LOVED! It was dark and evil and I couldn't get enough of it! I sat and read it in one sitting, cringing and gasping all the way. Shouting 'OH NO' and 'PLEASE DON'T' from start to finish!
And this book sucks you in. Sucks you in from chapter one as you will see for yourself. And it doesn't spit you back out till there is nothing left.
And you wanna know what? It was.....beautiful..... I know, I'm messed up in the head. But the way DH has wrote this book is.....Heart wrenching......
You LOVE Mae from the start. Right off the bat you can see she's got spunk. She doesn't take things lying down and her hot ass temper is scorching! And as you will see that and the mouth on her will and DOES get her into trouble.....
Then there's him...... I won't call him by what he goes by! This is my act of Defiance. Like Flipping HIM off for Mae LOL.
He changes Mae's whole life. Turns it up side down and then slaps it around a bit. I HATE HIM SO MUCH! But I can tell you now, that changed Quick and fast about...Oh I dunno A MILLION times! DH Does this to me ALL THE TIME. She gives me whip lash with the emotions I get from reading her books.
But I would recommend this book to EVERYONE! It is VERY dark. BUT don't let that put you off. Because anything worth anything is hard. Life isn't easy. And not everyone rides off into a sunset with a knight in shining armour when there in there teens. Life sucks! And just when you think it can't suck anymore it'll be there to kick you down and show you it can. BUT behind the ugly ALWAYS lies something else, you just need to hold tight and root long enough to see it. That is if you can stick it out.....?
And this book sucks you in. Sucks you in from chapter one as you will see for yourself. And it doesn't spit you back out till there is nothing left.
And you wanna know what? It was.....beautiful..... I know, I'm messed up in the head. But the way DH has wrote this book is.....Heart wrenching......
You LOVE Mae from the start. Right off the bat you can see she's got spunk. She doesn't take things lying down and her hot ass temper is scorching! And as you will see that and the mouth on her will and DOES get her into trouble.....
Then there's him...... I won't call him by what he goes by! This is my act of Defiance. Like Flipping HIM off for Mae LOL.
He changes Mae's whole life. Turns it up side down and then slaps it around a bit. I HATE HIM SO MUCH! But I can tell you now, that changed Quick and fast about...Oh I dunno A MILLION times! DH Does this to me ALL THE TIME. She gives me whip lash with the emotions I get from reading her books.
But I would recommend this book to EVERYONE! It is VERY dark. BUT don't let that put you off. Because anything worth anything is hard. Life isn't easy. And not everyone rides off into a sunset with a knight in shining armour when there in there teens. Life sucks! And just when you think it can't suck anymore it'll be there to kick you down and show you it can. BUT behind the ugly ALWAYS lies something else, you just need to hold tight and root long enough to see it. That is if you can stick it out.....?
January 10, 2019
4.5 stars
Dark, disturbing but oh so good!!
Dark, disturbing but oh so good!!
March 8, 2016
★★★★★ :: 6 Intense Stars :: ★★★★★
This book is free on kindle unlimited.
Wow. This book really pulled at my emotions. It is not your typical dark romance. There is so much more to it than that. In typical dark romances the heroine is kidnapped and abused beyond belief yet, they still fall in love with the one that harmed then. In this one though, Mae’s character is more complex. So much more complex that in the end I had tears in my eyes HOPING that what was happening WOULDN’T! I wanted so much for Mae and Daniel to live a life together and be in love. Seems interesting right? You need to read it to see what I mean. I highly recommend this book to fans of dark romance. It is quite unique, has many twists you won’t see coming, and really pulls at your heartstrings. I was not expecting what I got out of this book and I cannot wait to continue the journey.
Genre: Dark Romance
Series: Book #1 in the Blue Butterfly Series (out of 3- thus far)
Warning: This book may be bothersome to some readers. It contains scenes of graphic abuse and more. Those easily offended should heed this warning.
Book:I own this book on my kindle device. However, it is FREE on kindle unlimited.
This book is free on kindle unlimited.
Wow. This book really pulled at my emotions. It is not your typical dark romance. There is so much more to it than that. In typical dark romances the heroine is kidnapped and abused beyond belief yet, they still fall in love with the one that harmed then. In this one though, Mae’s character is more complex. So much more complex that in the end I had tears in my eyes HOPING that what was happening WOULDN’T! I wanted so much for Mae and Daniel to live a life together and be in love. Seems interesting right? You need to read it to see what I mean. I highly recommend this book to fans of dark romance. It is quite unique, has many twists you won’t see coming, and really pulls at your heartstrings. I was not expecting what I got out of this book and I cannot wait to continue the journey.
Genre: Dark Romance
Series: Book #1 in the Blue Butterfly Series (out of 3- thus far)
Warning: This book may be bothersome to some readers. It contains scenes of graphic abuse and more. Those easily offended should heed this warning.
Book:I own this book on my kindle device. However, it is FREE on kindle unlimited.
July 14, 2014
Book Gifted for Honest Review
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Before I'd even turned the first page, "The Decimation of Mae" already had me intrigued. The cryptic synopsis was enough to wet my appetite and as for that big ass warning giving me the opportunity to turn back whilst I had the chance... nope wasn't going to happen and so I threw myself in head first. Holy crap, nothing could have prepared me for what lay ahead. This was one sick, twisted, depraved, mind f**k of of a read where everything went and nothing... and I mean nothing was held back. Take heed of the warning folks... it's there for a reason. This book will mess with your head but for me... that's what I loved about it. Yup, my mind's a little warped!!! lol
Twists and turns toyed with me, leaving me gob smacked and shocked to the core time and time again. I'll be honest, there were a couple of curve balls that seemed maybe a little unrealistic, that had me saying 'WTF?" But I think that was more towards the end of the book where the proverbial well and truly hit the fan and every single skeleton came out of the closet!!! I never saw any of it coming. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion with things coming to the surface left right and centre. There was a lot to take in but looking back, I can see how it all fit. My advice... Take your time and absorb every little detail you read. It will all eventually come together and make sense.
Mae's character was just amazing. She had a real strength to her despite everything she had been through and all that lay ahead. Her fighting spirit, her defiance left me in awe and that mouth of hers had me in stitches more times than I can count... yes I know...who laughs when a book holds so much sadness within it's pages...trust me... when you meet this woman, you'll completely get it. It somehow worked.
As for "the devil"... what can I say. He was ruthless and unforgiving in his quest to break Mae, a monster of the worst kind. He was evil in its purest form, not once giving me the opportunity to feel anything but hatred for him. His actions, his behaviour, his words... everything about him was cold calculated and sadistic, never apologising for the way he was. There was a reason Mae called him the devil... he was Lucifer himself and Mae was in his playground... hell!!!
I can't begin to give this book anything less than 5 Hearts. This is one story that will stay with me for a long time.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHopelessR...
Blog: http://thehopelessromanticsbookblog.b...
Before I'd even turned the first page, "The Decimation of Mae" already had me intrigued. The cryptic synopsis was enough to wet my appetite and as for that big ass warning giving me the opportunity to turn back whilst I had the chance... nope wasn't going to happen and so I threw myself in head first. Holy crap, nothing could have prepared me for what lay ahead. This was one sick, twisted, depraved, mind f**k of of a read where everything went and nothing... and I mean nothing was held back. Take heed of the warning folks... it's there for a reason. This book will mess with your head but for me... that's what I loved about it. Yup, my mind's a little warped!!! lol
"You are the lamb. I am the shepherd. I will control your every move. I will direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I will guide you along the path to your slaughter."From the word go, "The Decimation of Mae" pulled emotions from me. I felt so much sorrow and hurt which then morphed into anger and frustration and even hatred on so many occasions. And even now, after I've finished up, I still can't stop thinking about the story. How could a book be so brutal, so ugly, so tragic, so horrific for the most part yet bring me to my knees at the end? I don't know how D.H Sidebottom did it but my heart ached, it broken and eventually it shattered into a million pieces, the tears that had threatened to fall finally making their appearance during the last 10%.
Twists and turns toyed with me, leaving me gob smacked and shocked to the core time and time again. I'll be honest, there were a couple of curve balls that seemed maybe a little unrealistic, that had me saying 'WTF?" But I think that was more towards the end of the book where the proverbial well and truly hit the fan and every single skeleton came out of the closet!!! I never saw any of it coming. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion with things coming to the surface left right and centre. There was a lot to take in but looking back, I can see how it all fit. My advice... Take your time and absorb every little detail you read. It will all eventually come together and make sense.
"I intrigue you. You can't understand me and that aggravates you, infuriates you even. Whatever or however you try, you know deep down that you will never own me. You will never control me and I will never surrender to your darkness."
Mae's character was just amazing. She had a real strength to her despite everything she had been through and all that lay ahead. Her fighting spirit, her defiance left me in awe and that mouth of hers had me in stitches more times than I can count... yes I know...who laughs when a book holds so much sadness within it's pages...trust me... when you meet this woman, you'll completely get it. It somehow worked.
As for "the devil"... what can I say. He was ruthless and unforgiving in his quest to break Mae, a monster of the worst kind. He was evil in its purest form, not once giving me the opportunity to feel anything but hatred for him. His actions, his behaviour, his words... everything about him was cold calculated and sadistic, never apologising for the way he was. There was a reason Mae called him the devil... he was Lucifer himself and Mae was in his playground... hell!!!
"I will break you, Mae," he hissed in my ear, his hot breath torture against my cold, damp skin."I will possess you so entirely that you will ask for permission to breathe"D.H Sidebottom wrote an amazing book in "The Decimation of Mae" and I was 100% invested the story. Her writing was so visual, it made my stomach turn at times but I wouldn't have it any other way. It was perfect and really helped to bring Mae's story to life. This was one hell of a mind fuck of a read and I need more.... I want inside "the devil's head!" Crazy I know but I need answers to questions I have. Answers only this man could give me. Unfortunately, told solely from Mae's POV, I got very little from him... very little indeed, the author holding the cards on this character very close to her chest.. I wonder why? Lol
I can't begin to give this book anything less than 5 Hearts. This is one story that will stay with me for a long time.
"The devil wears many masks Mae." I smiled at him.
"And an angel has many personalities."
May 22, 2015
4 "Holly Blue" stars...
I have had a hard time rating this book. I liked it yet didn't love it BUT there was so much about it that is exactly what I love in a book. It is a dark, twisted, gut wrenching and extremely uncomfortable story.
Mae has seen such tragedy in her short life and Daniel rips away any chance she has of happiness. Daniel is the epitome of evil, dark and beyond brutal physically and emotionally. The things he does to Mae to attempt to strip her inside and out left me shuddering at times. I kept thinking there is no possible way for this tiny woman to endure any more...
There parts of the book that I couldn't connect to but in the end the plot twist...the secrets revealed and the emotions and feels it caused in me definitely made it worthy 4 star read.
The ending...well...bittersweet. While it is the exact type of ending I cannot stand (because I love a good HEA) it was exactly what the story needed to cont. on to book 2.....again, BITTERSWEET.
I have had a hard time rating this book. I liked it yet didn't love it BUT there was so much about it that is exactly what I love in a book. It is a dark, twisted, gut wrenching and extremely uncomfortable story.
Mae has seen such tragedy in her short life and Daniel rips away any chance she has of happiness. Daniel is the epitome of evil, dark and beyond brutal physically and emotionally. The things he does to Mae to attempt to strip her inside and out left me shuddering at times. I kept thinking there is no possible way for this tiny woman to endure any more...
There parts of the book that I couldn't connect to but in the end the plot twist...the secrets revealed and the emotions and feels it caused in me definitely made it worthy 4 star read.
The ending...well...bittersweet. While it is the exact type of ending I cannot stand (because I love a good HEA) it was exactly what the story needed to cont. on to book 2.....again, BITTERSWEET.
July 16, 2015
Read my review at Sinfully Sexy and enter to win a signed paperback.
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DARK AND HAUNTING ….IT WILL LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS!!!!
This is one of the best brutal and emotionally punishing rides I have ever been on!
The Decimation of Mae is exquisite, raw, intense, gritty, and most of all it’s a SPELLBINDING PAGE TURNER – everything that makes a book PHENOMENAL! It’s so emotional and gripping that my heart was threatening to beat right out of my chest. Yes, it’s dark and edgy. It WILL make you uncomfortable. It IS difficult to read at times. It WILL make you flinch, gasp, cringe, and close your eyes wishing it all to go away. But, it will also captivate you entirely – heart and soul.
Mae’s had a difficult life, but one she’s accepted and simply lived until she meets the devil himself. Mae is kidnapped and thrown into an unimaginably dark world of slave training. She’s unaware of her ultimate destiny to be a slave. She merely thinks she’s been kidnapped for the sole benefit of the devil himself. Mae is determined to never stop fighting or willingly submit. The events that ensue are nothing like you have ever read before. Mae is now merchandise, a slave, property, a whore, and now…. stock. That word definitely had me siting up and taking notice. I think this word is the most debasing of all. It strips a woman of all identity. I was gobsmacked at things that took place, and what Mae endured. It is beyond me how someone could still put up a fight after all of that.
Mae is a strong and admirable heroine. I love seeing things through her eyes. How she views and interprets things is just so awe inspiring and wise beyond her years. She's almost philosophical without even realizing it. I cried for Mae. Not because of what she endured at the hands of “the devil” but for what her life had been up until the point she met him.
I think what makes this book even more intense is that it’s only seen through the eyes of Mae. We don’t get a glimpse into what’s going on in “the devil’s” head. Even though he’s a monster of the utmost proportions, there’s just something about him that can make you bend to his will and empathize with him. It’s sick and disturbing to feel that way, but it’s also human nature to want to please and be accepted; and, Mae is certainly not immune in that respect. But I must say THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A SEX SLAVE STORY! I can’t say much else because what I am not saying is the heart and soul of Mae’s story, and it’s too fabulous to spoil.
Just know this…….. On more than one occasion I was thinking what is “the devil’s” deal??? I was dying to know. DH gave us next to nothing. I was just as much in the dark about this guy as Mae was. Who is this guy and why did he target Mae???? Well, well, well.... that and a few other secrets are spilled and boy are they BIG…. MONSTROUS… HUGE…. EARTH-SHATTERING.
The storytelling is simply BRILLIANT. DH paints a picture so vivid that it played out in my mind with such clarity it was just unbelievable. There was certainly no shortage of twists and turns. It certainly kept me on my toes with all the OMFG moments hitting me left and right, and I gave up trying to guess the storyline pretty early on. The most brilliant part???? Not a single one of the twists, turns, or WTF moments felt contrived or purposely placed making it feel disjointed or awkward. I honestly feel DH has created a story worthy of a solid 5 stars!
I LOVED IT A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!!!! The ending was absolutely perfect and not rushed at all – THANK YOU! Rushing would have ruined the entire book. Too many times have I read a book only to feel like I was in a book store near closing time being pushed to make my final purchase and being swiftly ushered out of the store hearing the click of the lock behind me leaving me standing in the parking lot thinking WTF just happened. DH basically left the doors unlocked and said take all the time you need, just let me know when you’re ready. FABULOUS FABULOUS ENDING!!!!
I think I’ve definitely found a new favorite dark read author to add to my list! DH Sidebottom’s Fragile Truths definitely put me on notice, but The Decimation of Mae solidified her place on my list. Bravo DH Sidebottom, Bravo!
(ARC received in exchange for an honest review)
January 10, 2019
4.5 Stars
Mae Swift lived a happily normal life until it was taken from her. While trying to put the pieces back together, her world is completely shattered leaving Mae with only one option, to fight as long and as fiercely as she can.
“You can’t kill someone who is already dead inside.”
Daniel is a man that exudes confidence and coldness. Accustomed to exerting force without a blink of an eye, he succeeds in games of manipulation. When the parameters of his current project changes, he must recalculate the end game.
“I am the sort of man who will relish in your defiance, Mae. Believe me; I would love nothing more than to fight you, to take you hard and punishingly, to bruise you and make you bleed.”
Told in from Mae’s perspective, the story begins in a rather melancholy tone given the circumstances in which she lives and then it escalates quickly with Mae showing she will not surrender. With a descent into darkness, Mae finds solace in the pain despite her captor’s wishes.
“Your fists will never reach my mind, your harsh cruelty will never brush against my soul. You hate me for that, but you also admire me for it.”
From the beginning, I was hooked and wondered just how this plot was going to unfold. With the omnipresent tension, I was instantly nervous for Mae. Equally, I admired her perseverance and understood her hopeless thoughts. Her character’s trajectory is apt for the circumstances as well. As for Daniel, he is quite the villain with his unyielding and exacting cruelty, but I did feel his inner turmoil and how he wasn’t able to process it until a certain truth was revealed.
With D.H. Sidebottom, there is always an expectation of the unexpected and she delivered in this story. The twists were unpredictable and I liked the unapologetic direction of these characters and the storyline.
The Decimation of Mae is about accepting one’s fate. This book will appeal to those looking for a twisty dark erotic thriller.
Blue Butterfly series:
🦋This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey and Loyda! 🦋
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
January 5, 2015
“You are the lamb. I am the shepherd. I will control your every move. I will direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I will guide you along the path to your slaughter.” Daniel
“You will never pen me in like some timid animal that is too scared to fight. I have nothing to lose. You can beat me, hurt me, control me even, but you will never own me.” Mae
Dark. Tear-jerker.
Mae Swift leads a monotonous and torturous life among a palette of greys...she doesn't seek nor receive any pleasure out of life and is just biding her time moving from day to day. After a brutal attack three years ago she has sworn off all men and hides in baggy clothes and her familiar coffee shop. All that changes when someone from her past causes a mass upheaval.
Kidnapped.
Mae is taken and prepared as "stock" in a human trafficking enterprise. Master is cruel and brutal and won't let any of her defiant behavior slide. Can Mae unlock the soft side of her Master and ultimately aid her survival?
Stunning.
Describing my emotions after reading this book is extremely difficult... I was hooked from page one and devoured the first 15% greedily. I could smell the chlorine from the pool, feel Mae's anxiety as she shrank in the corner of the crowed coffee shop and feel her anxiety of the monsters under her bed when she was alone in her apartment. However, from 20-60% of the story I lost a lot of the emotional connection while reading. There were so many questions I had that didn't seem to have an explanation and I thought there could have been some more detail... How did Mae end up where she was? Where was she? A mansion? Who are the other people in the house? Why are they important? What was Demi's role in the story (besides being a superb!tch)? I wanted to know more depth into these questions and aspects of the book. Around 60% I became hooked again... FINALLY I saw some redeeming quality in Master Daniel that allowed me to be able to see from Mae's eyes. And at 81%- WOW...holy twist! I DID NOT see that coming & I can guarantee you won't either.
I can't talk about the ending...its just too powerful. The author made me develop tears in my eyes (I'm not an ugly crier in books) so that is a feat in itself. I am broken after that ending.
I enjoy a lot of dark books and I was pleasantly surprised at what this one brought to the table so I highly recommend it! A solid five star read.
Warnings: Triggers for abuse and self-injury.
September 8, 2014
How to explain this book and my rating is some what difficult, the writing was good, the story flowed well and the editing was fine. All of those are reasons why I would rate a book higher but the author mad the H just too evil, he could never be redeemable ,in my option. Now I LOVE a dark read with a mean, abusive hero that falls in love and is a changed man by the end of the book, but this author went too far even for me. Spoilers will be at the end of review.
Mae (h) lost her parents in a car accident at a young age and spent her childhood growing up in the foster care system in the U.K. As a way to cope with the pain of her lose she cuts herself. At the age of 18 when her boyfriend gets out of hand and tries to force himself on her ,she is rescued by a very handsome and nice guy....or so she thought. Turns out he was the Devil (just a comparison, not the actual Devil himself . No angels and demons in this book).
Daniel (H) has grown up in his father's business, the taking of young women to train and sell to the highest bidder. He is the Hunter and it's his job to select girl, gain her trust and the brutally rape them. He plants a tracker on them after the rape and let's them go. They watch the victims and broadcast how the cope and the bidding begins at that point. It takes a while before they are collected for their "education/ training" and then sold to the highest bidder. Daniel loves his job and has never questioned or had any negative feelings about what he is doing until he collects Mae. She has intrigued him from the beginning and though she is in a huge amount of emotional pain, she never gives up.
SPOILERS********SPOILERS**********SPOILERS***********SPOILERS***********SPOILERS**********SPOILERS*****************
So here are the things that had me rating this one so low. First off the h has a brain tumor that she had refused treatment for and she is going to die, the H and is family know this but they take her anyway and torture her intending to go through with the auction. The reason for this is because she is going to die anyway, they action these women off for Snuff Films. That is we're the author lost me, how can the H be redeemable if he is responsible for untold amounts of women's deaths??? Not only that but as the h is dying (H has come around and saved her and helping her die without pain at this point, and I do have to say that the author wrote the scenes very sweetly) She tells him that they have a daughter (from the initial rape ), that she is in foster care and how to find her. She makes him promise to find her and raise her.......this man who's family makes a living off of the deaths of so many daughter's , she herself was there because of some revenge against her own father who had dies years ago. How could a mother show such a monster where her daughter is?? I just couldn't wrap my head around that one and I can suspend reality in favor of an abusive H in so many books but not this one, she pushed the boundaries too far for me.
Mae (h) lost her parents in a car accident at a young age and spent her childhood growing up in the foster care system in the U.K. As a way to cope with the pain of her lose she cuts herself. At the age of 18 when her boyfriend gets out of hand and tries to force himself on her ,she is rescued by a very handsome and nice guy....or so she thought. Turns out he was the Devil (just a comparison, not the actual Devil himself . No angels and demons in this book).
Daniel (H) has grown up in his father's business, the taking of young women to train and sell to the highest bidder. He is the Hunter and it's his job to select girl, gain her trust and the brutally rape them. He plants a tracker on them after the rape and let's them go. They watch the victims and broadcast how the cope and the bidding begins at that point. It takes a while before they are collected for their "education/ training" and then sold to the highest bidder. Daniel loves his job and has never questioned or had any negative feelings about what he is doing until he collects Mae. She has intrigued him from the beginning and though she is in a huge amount of emotional pain, she never gives up.
SPOILERS********SPOILERS**********SPOILERS***********SPOILERS***********SPOILERS**********SPOILERS*****************
So here are the things that had me rating this one so low. First off the h has a brain tumor that she had refused treatment for and she is going to die, the H and is family know this but they take her anyway and torture her intending to go through with the auction. The reason for this is because she is going to die anyway, they action these women off for Snuff Films. That is we're the author lost me, how can the H be redeemable if he is responsible for untold amounts of women's deaths??? Not only that but as the h is dying (H has come around and saved her and helping her die without pain at this point, and I do have to say that the author wrote the scenes very sweetly) She tells him that they have a daughter (from the initial rape ), that she is in foster care and how to find her. She makes him promise to find her and raise her.......this man who's family makes a living off of the deaths of so many daughter's , she herself was there because of some revenge against her own father who had dies years ago. How could a mother show such a monster where her daughter is?? I just couldn't wrap my head around that one and I can suspend reality in favor of an abusive H in so many books but not this one, she pushed the boundaries too far for me.
September 15, 2014
The Decimation of Mae is probably the darkest book I have ever read. I want to start with a huge disclaimer. This book is not fluffy or sweet. It is not a romance. I would categorize this book as a very dark love story. Sometimes love is dark, evil, and horrible. Sometimes you do not get a happily-ever-after. Sometimes all you get is an ever-after. Mae’s story is brutal and gruelling and most definitely not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution.
I absolutely refuse to give you any synopsis in my review. I just can’t. If I did, I would simply risk telling you too much and ruining this brilliant story for you. So, I am going to focus on how I felt while reading this book. The first emotion that really took hold of me was shock. I really didn’t have a clue how this story was going to play out from the authors synopsis. It doesn’t give much away and I am glad it didn’t because I had no idea this book was going to be so incredibly gripping, thrilling, and at moments, horrible. I found myself feeling sick for Mae; praying for her to overcome her horrible past and even worse present. Every time that I thought Mae would catch a break and get some reprieve from the awfulness that is her life, there would be a huge plot twist and BAM, I was back feeling sick or crying for her. But Mae is a fighter. She is tough and resilient and while sometimes I wanted her to back down and accept her fate to lessen her torment, I couldn't help but feel proud of her; always pushing on until the very end.
And her tormentor, well lets just say, that I hated him. I never loved him, but I at least understood. Understanding is the half the battle because I almost forgave him and hopefully I will in the next book in this series, which I absolutely cannot wait for.
Amie
I absolutely refuse to give you any synopsis in my review. I just can’t. If I did, I would simply risk telling you too much and ruining this brilliant story for you. So, I am going to focus on how I felt while reading this book. The first emotion that really took hold of me was shock. I really didn’t have a clue how this story was going to play out from the authors synopsis. It doesn’t give much away and I am glad it didn’t because I had no idea this book was going to be so incredibly gripping, thrilling, and at moments, horrible. I found myself feeling sick for Mae; praying for her to overcome her horrible past and even worse present. Every time that I thought Mae would catch a break and get some reprieve from the awfulness that is her life, there would be a huge plot twist and BAM, I was back feeling sick or crying for her. But Mae is a fighter. She is tough and resilient and while sometimes I wanted her to back down and accept her fate to lessen her torment, I couldn't help but feel proud of her; always pushing on until the very end.
And her tormentor, well lets just say, that I hated him. I never loved him, but I at least understood. Understanding is the half the battle because I almost forgave him and hopefully I will in the next book in this series, which I absolutely cannot wait for.
Amie
July 28, 2014
5 Totally Gut Wrenching Stars!
This book was epic.I can't believe half of what I was reading yet I couldn't put it down to save my life. Sidebottom,You rock girl!
Hours later and Im still thinking about how it all ended. Mae was a bad ass. She deserves major props for being one hell of a lead character. This story was a major mind fuck but I wouldn't want it any other way.I honestly can not wait for the next book.
This book was epic.I can't believe half of what I was reading yet I couldn't put it down to save my life. Sidebottom,You rock girl!
Hours later and Im still thinking about how it all ended. Mae was a bad ass. She deserves major props for being one hell of a lead character. This story was a major mind fuck but I wouldn't want it any other way.I honestly can not wait for the next book.
December 30, 2017
I really liked this one...on to the next
February 1, 2018
This book was a gamble for me…. Did it pay off? Yes and no. I do want to say that this book is NOT for those who are unfamiliar with dark erotica/themes. So heed that warning before you buy this book.
My first mistake was that I thought this book was going to be some sort of PR/UF. When the synopsis said “The Devil” I thought the love interest was going to be some sort of dark angel and I was immediately intrigued! But as I read, I found that it was actually just a metaphor.
However, this is MY fault for not looking more closely at the GR related genres section. Lesson learned.
But hey, I figured this could still be good. And it wasn’t bad per se, but it seemed to be all over the place for the a good portion of the book. The author tended to jump back and forth with how Mae is feeling/what she was experiencing. The villain Daniel is also too back and forth. One minute he’s being a cruel bastard… the next he’s treating Mae to a night on the town because….he feels like it? It was very hard for me to keep up. Plus, I just didn't really like Daniel. I didn't understand him and so their "romance" fell short for me. The plot lacked fluidity and it took me out of the story more than I liked.
With these kind of master/captive stories, I need a reason to root for the couple to overcome the darkness they’re surrounded with. I need to like both characters…so I find that I really do need a dual POV from both the male and female MC’s to really enjoy the story.
Although, there were some things in the story I did find unique.
So 3.5 stars. The last 25% of it really sucked me in. It was an OK book, but I'm not going to continue on with the series. It had a lot of potential...but it never really seemed to reach that potential for me.
July 14, 2014
Just Another Book Bitch's always spoiler free review
Dear D.H Sidebottom,
How do you do it? With each new release you raise the bar. Your novels get better and better.
The Decimation of Mae evokes so many emotions
Just to name a few.
How you can give us so much despair & hope, so much grief and lust, all at the same time I'll never know. I sit back in awe of your talent.
I was truly at the edge of my seat during the entirety of this novel!
Mae's strenght blew me away, every burst of fire she displayed no matter how small made my chest swell with pride for her. Even during some very cringe worthy moments you see the flame that thrived within her.
So much so ....even the a monster must stop and revel in her beauty
We are thrust into darkness...
You Give us Hope
Dear D.H Sidebottom,
How do you do it? With each new release you raise the bar. Your novels get better and better.
The Decimation of Mae evokes so many emotions
Just to name a few.
How you can give us so much despair & hope, so much grief and lust, all at the same time I'll never know. I sit back in awe of your talent.
I was truly at the edge of my seat during the entirety of this novel!
Mae's strenght blew me away, every burst of fire she displayed no matter how small made my chest swell with pride for her. Even during some very cringe worthy moments you see the flame that thrived within her.
So much so ....even the a monster must stop and revel in her beauty
You introduce us to a demon,
"He yanked my chin upwards until my eyes met his angry glare, hatred and repulsion heavy in his eyes. “You are the lamb. I am the shepherd. I will control your every move. I will direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I will guide you along the path to your slaughter.”
We are thrust into darkness...
"A deep-seated carnal hunger for debauchery and depravity glowed in the room around me, stilling every single inch of me. A shameless want for pain ached inside me, the strength of it thickening my blood. I squeezed my eyes closed when recognition clashed with degradation, but even that struck the match to my arousal. My own mortification turned me on.
I was ill; sick and fucking perverse".
You Give us Hope
December 11, 2014
Firstly I'd like to say this book isn't for the faint hearted and if you haven't crossed over to the dark side YET I wouldn't recommend you start with this as your first dark read.
I need to say #DHSidebottom is one AMAZING twisted author. She left me speechless with this book, as I'm writing this my heart is just aching, it truly was mind blowing I cried a river... The story was so unique nobody has done what Dawn has done, from the prologue she tore my heart out, and didn't stop until the vert last page.
I'm not going to lie I HATED Daniel I literally wanting to rip his heart out and watch him die. But I did begin to love him. It took me a while but I guess everyone deserves love at some point in there life no matter what they have done.
He will always be close to my heart for many reasons.
But Mae Swift damn that girl. I LOVED her so much. Her strength astounded me. There wasn't a moment when my heart didn't break for her. I just wanted to wrap her up and take her home and love her.
She deserves all the happiness in the world.
Honestly id say i think about her everyday,
She holds a very special place in my heart.
It was a powerful book I must say. And it took me a long time to process I actually read it 2weeks ago. And still im not over certain events that took place, it just blew me away.
This lady has fast become one of my favourite authors il one click anything this lady writes
I need to say #DHSidebottom is one AMAZING twisted author. She left me speechless with this book, as I'm writing this my heart is just aching, it truly was mind blowing I cried a river... The story was so unique nobody has done what Dawn has done, from the prologue she tore my heart out, and didn't stop until the vert last page.
I'm not going to lie I HATED Daniel I literally wanting to rip his heart out and watch him die. But I did begin to love him. It took me a while but I guess everyone deserves love at some point in there life no matter what they have done.
He will always be close to my heart for many reasons.
But Mae Swift damn that girl. I LOVED her so much. Her strength astounded me. There wasn't a moment when my heart didn't break for her. I just wanted to wrap her up and take her home and love her.
She deserves all the happiness in the world.
Honestly id say i think about her everyday,
She holds a very special place in my heart.
It was a powerful book I must say. And it took me a long time to process I actually read it 2weeks ago. And still im not over certain events that took place, it just blew me away.
This lady has fast become one of my favourite authors il one click anything this lady writes
Read
August 9, 2014***DNF***...No Rating!!!
This was my exact reaction from the beginning and then a few chapters in!!!
Between the blurb and the reviews ..I just knew this one was gonna be a home run for me...needless to say I barely made it to first base!!..my main issues was the heroines dialogue....just couldn't get past the way she expressed herself!!!...
This was my exact reaction from the beginning and then a few chapters in!!!
Between the blurb and the reviews ..I just knew this one was gonna be a home run for me...needless to say I barely made it to first base!!..my main issues was the heroines dialogue....just couldn't get past the way she expressed herself!!!...
October 2, 2014
I couldn't finish this book. To me this was a cluster f*ck. It made no sense. It felt like a thesaurus exploded. I'm not being mean, I just really really didn't like this book. I DNF'ed at 60%.
Mae is saved from a psuedo boyfriend by Daniel, who then take her on a "date" and rapes her. Three years later her find her and take her hostage and begins training her. But the story line is so choppy and with no clue as to where it is going or why.
Mae is saved from a psuedo boyfriend by Daniel, who then take her on a "date" and rapes her. Three years later her find her and take her hostage and begins training her. But the story line is so choppy and with no clue as to where it is going or why.
August 11, 2014
Read the Reviewed for : Perusing Princesses
Website : www.perusingprincesses.com
Blogger : perusingprincesses.blogspot.co.uk
Facebook : www.facebook.com/perusingprincesses
Twitter : @peruseprincess
This book is so dark, so depraved and mentally twisted that it was painful to read and witness the abhorrence of Mae's situation. I hated what she went through, the injustice of the abuse and horrors she was subjected to in captivity was soul destroying, and yet her character was no victim. Unbelievably strong with a spirit deemed unbreakable, a pillar of strength that was admiring as much as the consequences of her actions of defiance, terrifying. I have never silently cried so much whilst reading a book. Chapter after chapter my tears flowed, and they didn't ebb, not even at the end. I am, for a better word, fucking annihilated... decimated...completely undone. This book, in all its twisted brilliance, destroyed me!
So, why the five stars? Because as much as this story disgusted me at times, I couldn't look away. I absorbed every word all in one sitting; a pleasurable and painful experience. Just like Mae, I became a victim to the conditioning, although willing... because the prose, the style, the flow, the dialect (English girl here), the descriptive text, was faultless.
Without planting spoilers, this is very much a stockholm syndrome story but it has a different vibe to any of the others I've read because there is no get out clause. There is a twist here, and one, that if I'm honest, gutted me to the point of pain. My stomach and my heart hurt for this woman, but the events towards the end made me understand things that little bit more.
The lamb and the shepherd have a unique connection but whereas in other dark romances I have come to connect with the enforcer of abuse, I couldn't here. Daniel terrified me. The master of hurt and humiliation, the harbringer of pain, all in the name of sexual submission and slavery. His actions were unforgivable and I hated every fibre of his being.
Then... another revelation, a sweet little twist of hope.
I guessed it a few chapters before but it was great to see my vision come to light, even though the end was so far fetched, he wouldn't have been given that honour if this was real life, but isn't that the magic about fiction... and thank goodness is all I can say.
Daniel Shepherd has a way to go to redeem himself, but I have hope, I'm just not quite ready to forgive him just yet.
I guess we will see where things lie in book two, which I will be reading because if it is anywhere near as profound and emotionally raw as its predecessor, I know it will be another great, albeit upsetting, read!
Certainly not for the fainthearted but fans of CJ Roberts, Pepper Winters, Pam Godwin and Tabitha McGowan may want to read this one!
5 magnificently dark and disturbing Stars.
Website : www.perusingprincesses.com
Blogger : perusingprincesses.blogspot.co.uk
Facebook : www.facebook.com/perusingprincesses
Twitter : @peruseprincess
This book is so dark, so depraved and mentally twisted that it was painful to read and witness the abhorrence of Mae's situation. I hated what she went through, the injustice of the abuse and horrors she was subjected to in captivity was soul destroying, and yet her character was no victim. Unbelievably strong with a spirit deemed unbreakable, a pillar of strength that was admiring as much as the consequences of her actions of defiance, terrifying. I have never silently cried so much whilst reading a book. Chapter after chapter my tears flowed, and they didn't ebb, not even at the end. I am, for a better word, fucking annihilated... decimated...completely undone. This book, in all its twisted brilliance, destroyed me!
So, why the five stars? Because as much as this story disgusted me at times, I couldn't look away. I absorbed every word all in one sitting; a pleasurable and painful experience. Just like Mae, I became a victim to the conditioning, although willing... because the prose, the style, the flow, the dialect (English girl here), the descriptive text, was faultless.
Without planting spoilers, this is very much a stockholm syndrome story but it has a different vibe to any of the others I've read because there is no get out clause. There is a twist here, and one, that if I'm honest, gutted me to the point of pain. My stomach and my heart hurt for this woman, but the events towards the end made me understand things that little bit more.
The lamb and the shepherd have a unique connection but whereas in other dark romances I have come to connect with the enforcer of abuse, I couldn't here. Daniel terrified me. The master of hurt and humiliation, the harbringer of pain, all in the name of sexual submission and slavery. His actions were unforgivable and I hated every fibre of his being.
Then... another revelation, a sweet little twist of hope.
I guessed it a few chapters before but it was great to see my vision come to light, even though the end was so far fetched, he wouldn't have been given that honour if this was real life, but isn't that the magic about fiction... and thank goodness is all I can say.
Daniel Shepherd has a way to go to redeem himself, but I have hope, I'm just not quite ready to forgive him just yet.
I guess we will see where things lie in book two, which I will be reading because if it is anywhere near as profound and emotionally raw as its predecessor, I know it will be another great, albeit upsetting, read!
Certainly not for the fainthearted but fans of CJ Roberts, Pepper Winters, Pam Godwin and Tabitha McGowan may want to read this one!
5 magnificently dark and disturbing Stars.
August 21, 2020
Firstly I just want to say that this book is not for the faint of heart. By now everyone knows that I’m obsessed with Dark romances!
I read this book many many years ago and I still think about it. Whenever someone asks me to rec a DR this is at the top of my list. Not because it’s this amazing story but because of how it was written.
When I say that this book is dark and fucked up, it’s one huge trigger. From rape to physical and mental abuse. I was hurting for Mae every step of the way. She’s one of the strongest yet most fragile characters that I’ve ever read about and I fucking broke for her. My heart literally hurt while I was reading this.
Then there’s Daniel, gosh I wanted to hate him so much and in a way I did but I also liked him. He’s not a hero, there’s no hero in this book. At the end he did what he had to do and saved Mae the only way he knew how.
Please do not go into this book looking for hearts, flowers and HEA because you will find none. Even though I liked the ending It does not contain a HEA.
" You are the lamb. I am the shepherd. I will control your every move. I will direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I will guide you along the path to your slaughter.”
“Your blood is mine, Mae. It is your life force, the very thing that feeds you. But now I substitute your blood. I am your life force, the very thing that will feed you, whether it be pain, misery or fucking pleasure. I am what will breathe life into you, not the air; me. I will be the one that controls each and every move you make, not your brain; me. I am now the very thing that will decide if you live or die, not your blood; me.”
I definitely recommend but please read the trigger warnings.
Also I need to mention that I do not recommend the books after this. It ruined this book and Danielle for me.... I actually try to forget that there’s a part two lol.
I read this book many many years ago and I still think about it. Whenever someone asks me to rec a DR this is at the top of my list. Not because it’s this amazing story but because of how it was written.
When I say that this book is dark and fucked up, it’s one huge trigger. From rape to physical and mental abuse. I was hurting for Mae every step of the way. She’s one of the strongest yet most fragile characters that I’ve ever read about and I fucking broke for her. My heart literally hurt while I was reading this.
Then there’s Daniel, gosh I wanted to hate him so much and in a way I did but I also liked him. He’s not a hero, there’s no hero in this book. At the end he did what he had to do and saved Mae the only way he knew how.
Please do not go into this book looking for hearts, flowers and HEA because you will find none. Even though I liked the ending It does not contain a HEA.
" You are the lamb. I am the shepherd. I will control your every move. I will direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I will guide you along the path to your slaughter.”
“Your blood is mine, Mae. It is your life force, the very thing that feeds you. But now I substitute your blood. I am your life force, the very thing that will feed you, whether it be pain, misery or fucking pleasure. I am what will breathe life into you, not the air; me. I will be the one that controls each and every move you make, not your brain; me. I am now the very thing that will decide if you live or die, not your blood; me.”
I definitely recommend but please read the trigger warnings.
Also I need to mention that I do not recommend the books after this. It ruined this book and Danielle for me.... I actually try to forget that there’s a part two lol.
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