"In Sloane’s world, true feelings are forbidden, teen suicide is an epidemic, and the only solution is The Program.
Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.
Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them."
This book happened to be recommended to me by a friend, who was positively gushing over it, telling me all about how this book fantastic and had so much emotion and was just over all a great book. I had seen it before and it'd sparked my interest, but I was in the middle of several other books. When she lent it to me, I let it sit for about a day before I picked it up. Why I ever waited to read this book I don't know.
Alright. Let's just say that the overall idea for this book, the plot, and the Program, and the characters is just so amazing. I really want to know how people come up with this kind of stuff. First off, I love the name Sloane for a girl. I thought that it was refreshing, definitely unique and edgy, but like a cool glass of water in the world of novel heroines. Sloane herself is different, unlike your atypical female power character. For one, she actually has to save herself, instead of mostly relying on the men. Not only that, but she also actually fails at saving herself, a path that most authors dont usually travel. Her character is all sorts of contrasting; shes rebellious on the inside, but is afraid to bring attention to herself; she is naive when it comes to some people, yet is able to see the corruptness (is that even a word?) of the Program; she wants to remember her past, and all of her memories (I'll hit that later, you have no idea), yet when presented with a solution to her... memory situation, she doesn't take it. I mean, what? No.
I liked James... sort of. For starters, I like my guys to be good looking. James was good looking. I like my guys to be rebellious. James was rebellious. I like my guys to be what I call "troubled souls". James was most definitely a troubled soul. But he seemed so possessive. So... I guess I could say sexist. I'm not sure what Suzanne Young's views are on gender roles, but it seems to me that she believes men are superior to women. Or something. I mean, think about it. All those times that James literally ordered Sloane to kiss him or made overly sexist jokes that were just a little too much? Especially near the end when she invited him in (I believe that was the situation) and he asked if she would make him a sandwich? WHAT? I mean, come on, how much more stereotypical can you get? "Hey babe, make me a sandwich" "Alright honey, just a second" I mean, no. Get up and make the sandwich yourself! You got legs, use em! So I really like James, but at times he made me a bit uncomfortable. Whenever he and Sloane began to get all lovey-dovey, I just kind of wanted to be like, no get away from her, shes a person not a thing.
Oh god. Miller. He just made me sad all over. I was rooting for him the whole time, just wanting him to be happy again, wanting him and this Lacey girl to get back together, for her to remember hiim even a little bit. But, I guess they're relationshp wasn't as solid as Sloane's and James's. Since he KILLED HIMSELF. Good gracious, I cried. I cried even harder when I realized that James was messed up after that. It just killed me inside, no pun intended. Miller was so happy, and cute. The few moments we spent in a flashback with him and Lacey seemed even more genuine than Sloane and James.
When James got depressed... I had to put the book down for a minute and count to 3. I was like, there is NO WAY this is going to end well. I thought for sure though, that him and Sloane would be sent to the Program together, work through the hardships but all in all retain their memories because they were together and leave the Program stronger than ever and ready to whip some Program butt. I was clearly wrong, since James came out with ZERO memory of Sloane. I was all like, dude. Your relationship is THE relationship. You and Sloane are THE couple, the two that are supposedly perfect for each other. And she just disappeared from your mind like that. I was genuinely relieved when Sloane got admitted into the Program. I was sick and tired of stressing over her running around town trying to run into James so she could TRY and get him to remember her at all. Key word: try.
So, once in the Program, I was a little surprised but overall 100% pleased to learn that they were not constantly restrained in cots with like, chains or something. Because its no fun whatsoever when your main character is sitting tied up all day with only their thoughts and the occasional visitor/break out of bonds moment to keep them company. We all know how that works. Bo-ring. I was even more happy when she met Realm. Its like this: James doesnt remember her. She goes into depression mode and gets admitted into Program. Meets sexy new guy. *Falls in love with new guy.* *Completely forgets about James & ALL feelings for him forever.* *Leaves Program and meets up with Realm.* *They have tiny little Sloane and Realm babies & they live happily ever after while James wonders about that empty feeling inside of him and wonders what he's missing.*
Starred phrases are one that did not occur in the book.
Unfortunately.
No, instead Sloane is forced to take those STUPID meds. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. I am face-palming right now, because while she was forgetting and was busy getting all drugged up, I was literally yelling and shaking because I was so frustrated by her position. She was completely powerless while in the Program. I wanted to scream. If the roles had been reversed, I would have offed myself or done something so horrendous to the docs that I would have been locked in isolation and been like, mind wiped immediately. I couldn't stand that section of the book. & when Dr. Warren told her to say goodbye to James? Sobbed my dang face off. Cried for like, the next two chapters. That was probably one of the most awful parts of the book, but congrats Young. You created a tear jerker. OH, and then when we find out that Realm works for the Program? Nuh uh. Nope. I was done. Done. I wanted her out of there right away.
So. Skipping ahead just a little bit. I don't care that Realm got a special handler assigned to Sloane. I don't care that they made out on his floor. I don't care that he apparently loves her. I don't care that Kevin watches her like a hawk and that even when he's not, the Program is. I don't even care ugly face Liam takes QuikDeath and kicks the bucket right in front of her. I care only about three things:
1. Sloane immediately makes friends with Lacey, proving that obviously, the Program can't get rid of all feelings and memories, so therefore it sucks and Sloane wins.
2. Sloane ALMOST immediately hooks back up with James and the way they got back together was nearly identical to the way they hooked up together proving that a) they were so obviously meant to be and that b) the Program, once again, cannot get rid of true feelings and memories so therefore it sucks and this time, both Sloane and James wins.
3. And then, lastly, Sloane and James are nearing their 18 birthdays where they will be free from the Program's clutches (though I feel as if that won't really last long), Sloane ditched her witch of a mom, Sloane and James run off together, and Sloane is given a pill that can bring back her memories.
(Yeah, yeah, I know that that was like, 15 little things I cared about all piled into three main points.)
But, hello. THE PILL. I'm completely agonizing over the fact that SHE DIDN'T TAKE THE PILL AND THERE'S ONLY ONE PILL. AGGGHHH. I can't take it. I just want to scream. The fact that this book is driving me to such extremes is just... fantastic. It's weird though, how much Young describes the colors of the pills to you. Most people would be like, "and then I got this pill that can restore my memories." Young is all, "and then I got this neon orange pill thats orange like the sunset, like orange orange, and it can restore my memories." But its cool, Young. I gotcha. I understand.
Joke. Not really.
Too bad there's only one pill though. Its too dang bad that James doesn't get a pill. God, that is tearing me up inside. But you know what is tearing me up inside even more? The fact that all Sloane wanted was her memories back, this entire time she's been fighting for her dang memories, and she can't even take this STUPID, STUPID, STUPID pill (face palming) (I imagine myself throwing around furniture at this point) that will restore her memories. I just... No. Not okay. I swear, if she doesn't take that pill in the next book... No. I can't think about it.
So, I'll end here, because I pretty much covered everything I wanted and this is becoming quite lengthy. Hope you enjoyed this book as much as I!