Together: Reclaiming Co-Leadership in Marriage

by Anne Evans, Tim Evans

God has different plans for marriage than you ever imagined. Join tim+anne evans as they explore a revolutionary perspective of what marriage can be-by going back to the beginning.In Eden, a married couple was created to reflect and reveal the oneness and plurality in God's Trinitarian nature. A man and woman, both made in the image of God, and both given the procreation and dominion mandates. Together, naked and without shame, they enjoyed co-leadership.

Genres: Marriage

254 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 14, 2014

About the author

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Reviews

[Avery Hatfield-Bender · Rating 2 out of 5]

I believe this book scratches the surface of the beauty found in Eden like marriages. Tim & Anne surrounded their argument with a lot of scripture & conversation. Their tools were practical and assessable for a relationship at any stage. But, I am disappointed at the integration of some gender stereotypes in a book standing for gender equality. This along with the poor grammar was a large distraction from the sole argument. Additionally, the consistent use of dialogue did not satisfy my desire for the authors to defend & support this argument. I believe this book is a good starting point for those beginning this conversation, but won’t help aid those already on their way. But I am grateful for the existence of this book in many conservative circles because it creates healthy waves around this topic.

[Abbey Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fine pre-marital counseling type book. It has lots of things going for it that other traditional Christian marriage books don't . In particular, it doesn't promote martial rape or tell women they exist solely for the benefit of men.

But I do think it surpassed that bar. I found their interpretation of different passages really interesting, and their advice really compelling. As an example, their discussion of Genesis 1 and the Hebrew word ezer for woman wasn't groundbreaking or anything, but good all the same. And their whole traffic light principle-- where unity always trumps disunity, and God is the head of both man and woman together-- was a nice, pithy metaphor for slowing down and consciously making decisions together with God.

That being said, it's a Christian marriage book so it's super corny. They also do these weird little mock conversations at the end of every section where they recount times when they totally owned anonymous complementarians haha.... But in a really robotic, polite, loving way of course. Mostly these were very awkward. Also awkward: their go-to guy is Gilbert Bilezikian, who was recently involved in a sexual harassment scandal. So it is outdated in that way.

They also encourage imitation of the Triune God, which is technically not great theology..... but I don't think this issue pervades the whole book. Mostly restrained to a some exhortations for couples to reflect the mysterious plurality of the Godhead. But hey, at least they don't ascribe to eternal subordination of the Son.

But altogether, tim+anne accomplish a solid egalitarian marriage book while remaining fully committed to biblical authority and (for the most part) avoiding overzealous bashing of the complementarian position. On the contrary, they set out to encourage couples to step into their purpose as ordained by God pre-fall.

[Andrew Bondurant · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was excited to engage with this book. However, I was disappointed with a few things as I read: (1) The interaction with Genesis chapters 1-2 seemed weak, which served as the foundation for the remainder of the book. (2) I just finished a Preston Sprinkle book which had a chapter dedicated to "how to have a fruitful conversation." Throughout the book, Tim+Anne presented often presented those who do not share their view in a way that I don't think many complementarians in particular would feel seen and heard. Throughout this book, it seemed like like there were several caricatures created. (3) The language of "preference" is not helpful for articulating theological triage. In this book, the framing is "there are absolutes and then there are preferences" and that is it. Those are the two categories that beliefs can fall into. As the authors articulate a question they have received before, "...since different marriage views are preferences and not absolutes, aren't most couples excited to give co-leadership a try?" (177). Why is this not helpful? Well, this would seem to apply to other conversations that the authors put in the category of "preference." If I hold the conviction that Paedobaptism (one who also baptizes infants of believers) is what the bible teaches, this is a mere preference. So, I should be willing to be baptized when you profess faith as those holding a Credobaptism position (seeking to baptize only believers) because my view in the first place is a mere preference. Again, my critique here is around the language of "preference" and "absolute" as the two categories that beliefs fall into. Others (such as Gavin Ortlund's Finding the Right Hills to Die On: The Case for Theological Triage) have offered much better framing.

Ultimately, my critique falls into two buckets: the foundation (which I find shaky) and how the argument or conversation was advanced. Co-leadership as a concept has some intriguing aspects to it. However, in my opinion, the authors did not establish a compelling foundation and went on to point back to that foundation throughout the book in a very matter-of-fact way (this is THE clear way to understand this).

This is an important conversation to be had within the church. How we have the conversation is extremely important in the process. If you are looking for an alternative, I found Michelle Lee-Barnewall's Neither Complementarian nor Egalitarian: A Kingdom Corrective to the Evangelical Gender Debate to be very helpful.

[Eliza Fitzgerald]

The information in this book was really good and I highly appreciate being able to find a Christian book written about co-leadership in marriage. However, the writing style of the book was somewhat annoying, written as conversations that seem fake and stilted.
The "for further study" section at the back of the book is really great. I added several more books to my wishlist from the resources shared there.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good idea for a book and the concept is intreging, but I did struggle with the argumentative style of the rest of the book from about half way. But a great new way of looking at Christian marriage that does make for food for thought.

[Rebecca Johnston · Rating 3 out of 5]

The content/concepts were good but I didn’t like the writing style.