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Diary of a Jackwagon

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Popular Christian comedian Tim Hawkins shares his hilarious perspective on life in the 21st century. In this wide-ranging, long-awaited book, comedian Tim Hawkins holds forth on everything from family, culture, and music to church, parenting, and education. Listeners will enjoy laughing their way through the audiobook, always feeling good about the clean and sometimes inspiring material they are laughing at. Chapters include riffs on marital communication (“marriage needs a challenge flag, like in pro football”) aging (“the diabolical orifice witch hunt”), worship music (“pick the right key, because I’m not Barry White and I’m not a Bee Gee”), and fatherhood (“There are no manuals for parenting. Color-coded warning labels or open-ended prescriptions would be just as helpful.”) For fans of Jim Gaffigan’s Dad Is Fat and A Love Story , Tim Hawkins’ hilarious first book reveals that for life’s many difficulties, laughter is the best medicine—when there aren’t any pills left.

MP3 CD

First published August 4, 2015

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About the author

Tim Hawkins

62 books24 followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Since giving up his job as a grocery truck driver in 2002, Tim Hawkins has been forging the magical blend between two comedic ideals: A genuinely funny comedy show that caters to the entire family. Is it realistic? Hawkins believes so. With over 100 million views on YouTube, 120+ sold out shows every year, and a motley crew of 200K+ Facebook fans, Tim has started a gut-busting grassroots revolution of multi-generational proportions. But what's so special about this St. Louis native who is most notorious for his wretched cow impersonations?

Some would say it is his equally gifted and twisted approach to the medium. A self-taught guitarist, Hawkins will go note-for-note on everything from Skynyrd to Bon Jovi to Prince, while dishing out flawless vocal imitations of Bono, Jason Aldean, and John Mayer... all within mere minutes. His stand-up material is vigorous, well-timed, and honed to perfection. However, the connection he makes with his fans goes deeper than that: "If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh at other people."* It is this ability to show the brokenness of our human nature and simultaneously marvel in its hilarity which makes Tim such a unique artist.

With four munchkins of his own and a beautiful wife who is winning her battle with breast cancer, Hawkins develops new material daily by simply absorbing the world around him. The perils of marriage, parenting, and homeschooling may not exemplify the rock-star life, but they sure make for great comedy. And as Tim would tell you himself, "It's not like I have choice. Comedy is my only life skill."

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5 stars
126 (35%)
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124 (34%)
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83 (23%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
Profile Image for Melanie.
2,215 reviews598 followers
September 1, 2024
This is my second time reading this book, first time listening to the audiobook version. It was AMAZING! Definitely one of the best narrated audiobooks I've ever read. I loved how he did different voices at times and that the songs were actually sung. SO FUN! If you are looking for a laugh (or lots of laughs), I recommend Diary of a Jackwagon.

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(Original review)


Diary of a Jackwagon is sure to get you laughing! If you are familiar with Tim Hawkins' comedy, you will see some of the same jokes in this book, but even knowing them I found myself laughing so hard! I loved the "Tweet Thoughts" at the end of each chapter (some were just too hysterical!).

Here are a few of my favorite quotes/jokes:

"In most arguments between a man and a woman, the man feels like he's on the same page. He just doesn't know how to read."

"I'm coming out with a new scent. And now it's gone."

"You know stories about identical twins that are separated at birth then reunite later? That never happens with socks."

"Mr. Literal then proceeded punching himself in the face in an effort to fight back the tears."

"Every time I see an "Employees must wash hands" sign in a public restroom I'm like "Thanks, but I can wash my own hands."

And so many more! I completely recommend this book if you are looking to laugh! It's great!!

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
Profile Image for Amelie.
332 reviews63 followers
July 26, 2023
Tim Hawkins is a comedy legend.

I’ve grown up watching his stand-up comedy bits on YouTube, and he’s one of the few comedians that can get me to burst out laughing without fail. He mercilessly pokes fun at everything with enthusiasm and cleverness, and in his book, he revisits and expands upon many of the bits I’ve watched countless times.

I don’t think I would have enjoyed Diary of a Jackwagon as much as I did had I not listened to Tim narrating the audiobook. As a few other reviewers have already remarked, the voices and singing he does make the jokes. While the gestures play another integral part of the jokes’ delivery, and that element was missing in the book, I had no trouble bursting into laughter at most chapters and Tweet Thoughts.

Great Caesar’s ghost…please check out Tim Hawkins’s brilliant comedy. Just proceed with caution because, to paraphrase a waitress Tim met at a Southern Cracker Barrel…well, it could make you want to hit your daddy with a baseball bat.
Profile Image for Jason Kanz.
Author 5 books39 followers
July 28, 2015
I am a huge fan of Tim Hawkins. I saw him for the first time at a counseling convention a few years ago and I became an immediate fan. Since then, I think I have purchased every DVD he has made. My son shares my affection for Hawkins's comedy; at this point, he can do many of the lines along with Hawkins because he has watched them so often. I not only think he is the funniest Christian comedian working today, I think he may be the funniest all around comedian. Certainly top three.

Needless to say, when I saw that he would be releasing a book, Diary of a Jackwagon (2015, Thomas Nelson), I was excited. When the package arrived, I set to reading it right away, eager for the inevitable stomach cramps and shortness of breath brought on by uncontrollable fits of laughter.

On the positive side, this book represents Tim Hawkins's brand of humor, which is what I had hoped for. Reading through, I could actually hear him making some of the jokes. He has a humorous, engaging perspective that butts up against real life. He's not afraid to poke fun of himself. His comedy is born out of his life experiences.

However, I had higher hopes for this book. Most of the chapters are repackaged versions of the author's existing stand up routines. Although that can sometimes be done to great effect, it seemed to fall flat here. I tried to think about why that was my perception. I think one reason is that I am so familiar with his comedy routines that reading them didn't really generate the laughter that I had hoped for. I think a bigger contributing factor is that Hawkins's comedy is very physical. He makes use of vocal inflection, music, and movement to enhance--to a remarkable degree--his product. By nature of the medium, that is lost in the book. There were places where the authors tried to explain the physical aspects miss the mark.

On the whole, I want to say that I think every person would be better off if they were exposed to the comedy of Tim Hawkins. In the realm of comedy, he is a true genius. However, I believe in general you would be better served by getting a copy of his videos than reading the book because it doesn't do him justice.

I was provided a free copy of this book by Thomas Nelson and the BookLook Bloggers program in exchange for a written review. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions above are my own.
Profile Image for Alyssa.
571 reviews243 followers
August 5, 2015
{About the Book}

Popular Christian comedian Tim Hawkins shares his hilarious perspective on life in the 21st century. In this wide-ranging, long-awaited book, comedian Tim Hawkins holds forth on everything from family, culture, and music to church, parenting, and education. Readers will enjoy laughing their way through the book, always feeling good about the clean and sometimes inspiring material they are laughing at. Chapters include riffs on marital communication (marriage needs a challenge flag, like in pro football) aging (the diabolical orifice witch hunt), worship music (pick the right key, because I'm not Barry White and I'm not a Bee Gee), and fatherhood (There are no manuals for parenting. Color-coded warning labels or open-ended prescriptions would be just as helpful.) For fans of Jim Gaffigan's Dad Is Fat and Food: A Love Story, Tim Hawkins' hilarious first book reveals that for life's many difficulties, laughter is the best medicine--when there aren't any pills left.



{My Review}

Everybody knows that I am a huge Tim Hawkins fan and I was utterly estatic when I heard he had written a book. Tim Hawkins is known for his stand-up comedy making fun of homeschoolers, different church denominations, and Mormons alike. If you haven't seen any of his videos then I recommend after yoou finish reading my review that you go to YouTube and check him out. Diary of Jackwagon encompasses all of Tim's comedy and shows us that laughter is important and reitorates what the Scripture says, "Laughter does good like medicine."
Profile Image for Annalise Kraines.
988 reviews22 followers
March 15, 2020
I started reading this this afternoon and immediately knew that i couldn't handle reading it beyond this day. So I sped through it as fast as I could. This book is alright, the jokes are pretty much all the same as the ones Hawkins presents in his comedy acts. It's also pretty pessimistic about marriage, especially for men, and parenting, among other things. But at other points in the book he seems optimistic about those things, so I don't really understand why being pessimistic and cynical is necessary in the first place. It's not very encouraging to anyone. Also, this book is pretty hard to follow; he jumps from topic to topic. Also. There are many touches of racism. I get that it's comedy. But that isn't okay.
Profile Image for Faith.
2,190 reviews
August 12, 2015
I've long been a fan of Tim Hawkins, so when I saw that he was releasing a book I knew I had to read it. So when the opportunity came up to review this book, I snatched it up.

Tim tells many of his classic jokes mixed with new ones, as well as life lessons. This book will have you chuckling and chortling along, as Tim tells his stories of yoga pants, colonoscopies, and Cracker Barrel.

Short easy to read chapters, with little tweet nuggets at the end of each, making this a fun book to both read aloud with others, as well as easy to find stopping point, when life requires it.

Fast paced and engaging, this book is perfect for the life long fan, or someone who has never heard any of his jokes.

Overall, a well written knee-slapper of a read, that had me laughing in the most inappropriate moments. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who would like a little entertainment, or is a fan of Hawkin's comedy.
Profile Image for Nancy.
936 reviews
September 28, 2015
I loved this book so much. It was so entertaining and hilarious. It is one of those books that makes you stop reading so you can just sit and laugh at what you just read (and this happens consistently throughout the book) and then read the funniest part(s) aloud to whomever is within earshot. Tim Hawkins' humor is similar to Brian Regan's: completely clean, free of profanity, yet some of the funniest stuff you have ever heard. TH is truly talented, and I love that he is a Christian and even makes some good jokes about church culture and people. We are going to see him perform next month (he performs comedy in churches!) and I am looking forward to it even more now than I was before I read this hysterical book. I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Karin.
1,823 reviews33 followers
January 1, 2023
If you see how I shelved this book, don't go looking for a movie of the book because I put "movie is better than the book" -- I'm referring to his comedy videos. I own one that is as long as a movie, but most of what I've seen has been on Youtube. This is why his average book ratings are significantly lower than his performance ratings. This is especially true of the lyrics to his songs. I am not keen on reading most song lyrics on the printed page. If I were, I'd read a lot more poetry books, but perhaps not. For me songs need both the words and the melody, unless, of course, it's Leonard Cohen and then often not so true, depending on if you like most of his songs and not just Hallelujah which didn't even do well until another singer performed it.

I first heard of Tim Hawkins back in my early days as a homeschooling mother back around the time Youtube was just getting started (okay, actually it might have been before then because I started homeschooling in 2003 and the video was smaller than what it is now on Youtube) when I saw a link for his first Homeschooling Family song to the tune of The Adams Family. It may or may not speak to everyone, but to anyone homeschooling back at that time it made fun of the homeschool stereotypes that were circulating at that time.

Fast forward a number of years and I found him on Youtube, bought that video and sometimes go watch him because he is, if nothing else, a brilliant comedian.

Back to the book. He wrote (with another author, which he was open about) that many of the things in this book are things he has performed, so only some of this was brand new to me. Personally, I like his performances much better (almost always 5 stars for me.) That said, there are some real gems in here that I laughed at even in writing (things newer to me, but not all).
Profile Image for LAMONT D.
1,163 reviews17 followers
February 28, 2025
A crazy and funny book from a remarkable and successful funny "clean" comedian. I would recommend this to any of my friends, especially those of us that claim the male species. I will have to check out the online stuff and hopefully get to one of his events someday. At many parts I was smiling and certain points just laughing out loud (see Chapter 13 - Good advice Too Late - hilarious). How he sees so many items that are ordinary and find the unorthodox way at looking at things in a comical way is amazing.
Profile Image for Melissa.
Author 19 books876 followers
January 29, 2019
3.5

It was amusing, not necessarily rollicking the whole way through, but I left some tears on page 102 laughing hard enough in public tears came to my eyes as I tried to keep from annoying people around me. The fact that he got me to LOL likely a handful of times is saying something since I rarely do. A light read. I do find Tim funnier in person because there's just something about the exaggerated delivery that makes things funnier than on paper.
Profile Image for Katharine Campbell.
Author 15 books19 followers
November 3, 2023
Parts of this book at me laughing out loud like a psycho. Other parts were more meh. I think that, like Jim Gaffigan and other comedians, Tim Hawkins is funniest when he's on stage feeding off the energy of his audience. The book is still a fun listen. Recommend.
Profile Image for Mark.
2,481 reviews51 followers
August 5, 2015
I have watched Tim Hawkin's DVDs and YouTube videos, and I know he is a funny guy. When I saw he had a book coming up and I could review it, I snagged a copy as soon as it came available. I was curious how he would do in a book as opposed to speaking on stage, but he knocked it out of the park. LOL is a popular abbreviation for "laugh out loud" used in texting and social networks.... well, I literally "LOL'd" as I read through the book. Hawkin's brand of humor comes through just as well in the book as on video.
He covers marriage, kids, worship music and styles, and denominations in the book. There is no sacred cow that he doesn't bring out and make a joke about it, and it works for him. And spread throughout the humor are mini messages about how we should treat others, how we should live as to be a good witness.... even when driving our cars.
If you have never watched Tim, you should. It is different than reading his humor, but I would still recommend the book. It will have you in stitches, I guarantee.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
348 reviews7 followers
September 21, 2015
I think I may have been living under a rock. I picked up the book Diary of a Jackwagon by Tim Hawkins because I needed some light reading and humor. I hadn't ever heard of Hawkins before though.

As I got further through the book, laughing as well as reading parts aloud to my husband, I begin to ask people "Have you ever heard of Tim Hawkins?" and I received the replies of "I love his stand-up!" and "He's my favorite!" Wow, thanks for telling me about him, guys!

My love for Jim Gaffigan is not a secret. And Hawkins comedy reminds me of my love for Gaffigan. Clean, funny, involves Jesus but not in a too serious way, family friendly, real comedy.

I read through this book in 24 hours. Then watched some of his stand-up on Youtube. And now hope to watch one of his shows live when he tours nearby. I've found a new favorite...or at least sometime to tie Jim (Gaffigan) and Jimmy (Fallon)!

This book was given to me by BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review. See my review at http://www.trenchesofmommyhood.blogsp...
Profile Image for Martha.
1,940 reviews74 followers
October 3, 2015
Tim Hawkins has been a family favorite here for quite some time. If you are having a bad day, there is nothing like a Tim Hawkins video or clip to cheer you up. Now there is a book! This was one that my family enjoyed hearing pieces of around the dinner table for a good laugh. Spiced with Hawkins unique senses of humor, you may even learn something about parenting, marriage or even just everyday life!
Profile Image for K Whatsherface.
1,257 reviews7 followers
February 26, 2019
I not sure if I love this because I know all the jokes or I would love it more if I didn't. over all. it's hilarious. still not as fun as going to see him live but when I went to his show I laughed so hard I cried and it was hard to breathe...can't really beat that. this book is awesome but if you ever get the chance to see him live, do it
Profile Image for Randall Hartman.
126 reviews3 followers
January 10, 2018
Tim Hawkins' excerpts from his journal observing the humor in daily life made a good, light-weight read during recent plane flights and daily subway commuting. Those who have seen him live easily can visualize him delivering many of the quips he shares. As usual, his humor contains no profanity and other than a couple rare instances doesn't even flirt with innuendo. And some of the best parts from his performances are repeated here (thinking particularly of the worship "hand raising" guide!).

I rated the book only a 3 for two reasons. First, since much of this material has not made it to his live show, by nature it's less than "Grade A" - while there are occasional side-splitting sections, some of it isn't quite as funny as his best. Second, there are times where I feel that he makes light of or finds humor in circumstances that are not well-suited for it: overplaying marital conflict, criticism of the foibles in some churches and church members, using some texts from scripture for comedy.

That said, more than once I found myself laughing out loud to the amazement and confusion of those around me! And as I flipped back through the book looking for some of the best lines to share with friends, they seemed even funnier than at first. Have a good, clean laugh!
Profile Image for Celestria.
377 reviews458 followers
May 16, 2018
Tim Hawkins' TWEET THOUGHTS

out of the proper context, having an arrow shot through your heart by a flying baby would be horrifying.

This morning I accidentally put my glasses on over my contacts. And when I looked in the mirror I saw my grandfather when he was a baby.



Tim Hawkins wrote a book. Need I say more?

Hawkins is my all-time favorite stand up comedian, and I knew I'd enjoy his book.
In Diary of a Jackwagon, "comedian Tim Hawkins shares his perspective on life in the twenty-first century."

Even though this book was indeed hilarious and had me laughing out loud throughout, it's still not as good as actually SEEING him. Half of "Timbo's" funniness is from his facial expressions, various voices, and the way he acts things out on stage.

Much of the content in Diary of a Jackwagon is stuff I've already seen and heard him do on YouTube, so I could visualize him onstage and hear his ridiculous voices in my head as I read along.

So yes, this book was very funny, but watching him is still 10× better. 3 1/2 stars.

And here's one last TWEET THOUGHT for you:
Good friends are like fine wine. That's why I keep mine locked in the cellar.

Profile Image for Cindy Davis- Cindy's Book Corner.
1,511 reviews90 followers
March 22, 2023
I enjoy watching Tim Hawkins' comedy bits. I figured listening to Diary of a Jackwagon on a road trip would be fun and humorous. I wasn't disappointed.

My son and I listened to this in one sitting (all 6 hours). We enjoyed hearing new content that is not in Hawkins's comedy bits. We enjoyed hearing him sing some of his songs in the book. It was hilarious listening to my 17-year-old sing along with Hawkins' colonoscopy song 😂!

It is hard to review a book like this. We enjoyed it because we like Tim Hawkins. He has his own brand of sarcasm that will be offensive to some. He makes fun of himself, he makes fun of some of the ways people pray, and he even makes fun of "Christianese." However, it is all in good fun, with a hint of truth, which is why some will be offended. We felt at times that Hawkins was reaching or pushing to be funny. It felt pushed instead of his natural comedy.

If you like comedy and are familiar with Tim Hawkins, I highly recommend listening to this book. I am not sure how it would be to read this book, instead of listening to it. I think it would be harder to get some of the humor.
Profile Image for Shilo Parcel.
199 reviews
July 31, 2023
It is infused with wit, charm, and deep wisdom which are layered so intricately that you find yourself flipping through pages with uncontained enthusiasm. Tim Hawkins' ability to capture the essence of everyday life while adding his unique humor-infused perspective is truly unparalleled. He has successfully transformed seemingly mundane scenarios into captivating stories filled with life lessons, interspersed with genuine laughter. Even more impressive is how the author's faith subtly threads through the narrative, presenting a warm, inviting perspective on spirituality. This book is a perfect mix of belly laughs and introspection, a recipe for soulful delight. From beginning to end, it is a hilarious, heartwarming, and thought-provoking journey that encourages you to embrace the "jackwagon" in all of us.
Profile Image for Cindy aka "The Book Fairy".
712 reviews4 followers
February 3, 2024
This was quite the pleasure overall! Tim has a remarkable and uncanny wit about him with observations about us humans with our amusing and often not so proud moments but never in a mean or mocking ways. He shares priceless parenting stories that we can either relate to or that others would still laugh. His book is totally appropriate without the often crude or rude material that some other comedians use. I have watched many of his videos over the years (he has appearances on the go and puts out dvds etc) with one of my absolute favourite being "Aging Rockers" where for only a few moments really, he does parody style tidbits of songs that they would be performing being older...too funny! As instead of Eric Clapton's Cocaine (I think?) it's "Rogaine"...He is an incredible guitarist and can nail down any style as he imitates:)........... I will be reading any other books he puts out too!
Profile Image for Dale.
1,947 reviews66 followers
June 10, 2017
Just doesn't compare to seeing him say almost the same things in a performance

Published in 2015 by Thomas Nelson.

I am a giant fan of Tim Hawkins and have been ever since he used to run an infomercial on late night TV for his 2007 DVD Full Range of Motion . I have tickets to go see him in concert at the end of July with my family.

But, this book was mostly a re-hash of his routines - routines that I dearly love but not nearly as funny when I am reading them as they are when he delivers them. As I was reading, I kept thinking that these would be a whole lot more funny if he was saying them. Hawkins added extra material to support the stuff from his routines but the whole package ends up being just 3 stars out of 5.
1 review1 follower
January 2, 2020
The first time I remembering being introduced to Tim Hawkins was by watching one of his movies at a friends house. After we were done watching it I wanted to begin to watch more and more. About a year or two ago I stumbled over his book "Diary of a Jackwagon" I started to read it but it didn't seem to catch my interest at the time. But when my Language class at school was asked to read a book or books and do a review on one of the books I chose this one.

The book is basically a collaboration of his many different movies. Through out the book there are a few of his song lyrics sprinkled through out the book along with some little jokes along the way. Over all I did enjoy the book. But if I had a choice I would pick his movies above his book.

Profile Image for Kelli.
1,383 reviews42 followers
May 5, 2019
I grabbed this book for a light beach type read. Tim Hawkins comedy is light hearted and funny. He has great content in his videos. This book really just tells basically his comedy stories but maybe in greater detail. I found that I would rather watch his videos. I didn’t find his same timing and inflection in writing as I did in his comedy routine. Plus a lot of his material seems second best to what he brings to his actual comedy. He likes to observe everyday life and that can be funny, but really I didn’t chuckle much reading the chapters.
Profile Image for Paul Decker.
172 reviews3 followers
October 15, 2017
Absolutely hilarious! Loved it. Of course, I do enjoy anyone with the same kind of weird humor that I have. As Christians, I think it is important to know how to laugh at ourselves. If that doesn't work, Hawkins does have a solution, "If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh at someone else." That goes along with one of my favorite sayings, "I am a good friend. If you fall, I will help you up - after I am done laughing at you." Read and enjoy!
Profile Image for Paige Gordon.
Author 6 books70 followers
January 9, 2019
This book had me laughing so hard in some places I literally almost started crying. Tim is hilarious and if you are at all fan of his videos you absolutely have to check this book out. And if possible listen to the audiobook version of it because having him read it just makes it that much better! I guarantee it will brighten up your day and lighten up your spirit!

Favorite Quote: “Real faith is not an absence of real doubt, it’s the presence of a real relationship.”
Profile Image for Lexi.
20 reviews
February 26, 2025
I've seen a few of Tim Hawkins shows and comedian acts on youtube, and that's what made me need to get this book. It was so good, instant five stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A lot of things can make me smile, but only Tim Hawkins can make me laugh so hard i cry. All of the chapters were pure genius, and I love people that are fine with making fun of themselves! It is truly a talent. DEFINETLY recommend!!!!!!!!!
12 reviews
July 30, 2018
I really can’t remember any book or even video that made me laugh so much. I mean really my wife was annoyed because I kept busting out laughing. I re-read a couple of the chapters just so I could laugh again. Thanks Tim (and please Lord help me forget some of the words and images in my mind, so that on Sunday in church I can maintain some reverence)
Profile Image for Andrew Wolgemuth.
812 reviews78 followers
August 30, 2018
Tim's funny, genuinely funny, and this book is a hoot. Literal lol moments abounded for me especially because Tim's narration of the audiobook is outstanding - it makes the book feel like a personal stand-up routine (including some of his incredible songs). Very fun.

(full disclosure: the agency I work for represents Tim and this book)
42 reviews
February 11, 2020
Don't get me wrong, I love Tim Hawkins. I guess that I have just been exposed to so much of his stage material that listening to the audio book was just a revisit to all of the stand up material that I have seen or heard. I listened to it with my son while traveling to a soccer match which made it entertaining to kill time, but did not expose me to anything I have not already heard or seen.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
2,747 reviews36 followers
July 11, 2020
This was fine. I think his comedy style just doesn't translate well to the page. There's a lot of content here that's also in his stand-up, which I've seen most of, and it's not nearly as funny in print. There are also sections of almost stream of consciousness rambling that at times is almost incomprehensible, to be honest. There were a couple of laughs, but for me, I was pretty disappointed.
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