Daddy, Stop Talking!: & Other Things My Kids Want But Won't Be Getting

by Adam Carolla

Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla

I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.)

Article I

I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting.

Article II

To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.

Article III

I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Comedy, Biography, Parenting, Memoir

261 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 26, 2015

About the author

Adam Carolla is an American radio personality, television host, comedian, and actor. He is currently the host of The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast.

Carolla is also known as being the co-host of the radio show Loveline from 1995 to 2005 (and its television incarnation on MTV from 1996 to 2000), as the co-host of the television program The Man Show (1999–2004), and as the co-creator and performer on the television program Crank Yankers (2002–2007).

Carolla has been featured in television shows, talk radio shows, films (appearing in both independent films and those of the major film studios), internet media, podcasts, and other media outlets.

Reviews

[Darcy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know that there are people that don't like Adam Carolla, but I find him funny. He is not PC, doesn't make any apologies for that and tells things like how he sees them. There were times I laughed at what he said in this one, times I disagreed, but somehow found myself smiling still. I think what I really like about listening to his books is that often when narrating the books he goes off on an odd tangent ranting, talking to whoever is in the studio with him. Those are some of the best things in the book. Love him or hate him, you will end up laughing in this one.

[Jason Shinkunas · Rating 5 out of 5]

My expectations for this one were low considering how fast Carolla has been pumping these out and how disappointed I was with his last one, 'President Me'. But this was fantastic from start to finish, with the jokes expertly crafted and coming hard just about every sentence. There were more laughs per page than a vintage 30 Rock episode. Besides being funny, the advice was practical, and it had just the right amount of heart sprinkled in. I feel like even the Carolla-haters out there would really enjoy this if they gave it a shot.

[Douglas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mr Carolla can be funny, but he truly needs an editor. He can't just write down every thought he has, and needn't share his bodily functions.

[Denise Spicer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Supposedly about parenting but includes various miscellaneous ramblings, some amusing, many just crude, so probably not worth the time except for diehard fans. Ends on a positive note though p. 327 that being a parent is the greatest success and final piece of fatherly advice ..,, is ”to have kids and love them as much as I love you” which was sweet.

[Stephen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't remember why I got this book from the library. I suspect an automated website recommendation based on my browsing. I suspect that fact reveals why we can still rely on human word-of-mouth recommendations. In any event, I was probably looking for something light and funny to read. There's definitely not any substance to this book, so it fits the 'light fare' bill. Funny? Sidetrack: I'm surprised (because of his apparent popularity) that I've never really encountered Adam Carolla's career before. I didn't know who he was. I can't say our introduction has been happily welcomed.

So: funny? Not for me.
I'm not keen on loud-mouthed, insult-laden, wit-bypassed humor. It feels like (and seeing his podcast is über-popular) he opens his mouth and any and everything may come streaming out wherein, statistically, something funny may occasionally erupt in between anger-infused, fact-meager, low-brow rambling. Unfortunately, I found this to be a tiresome formula:
- "blah blah blah. stupid jagoffs. blah blah blah. it's my parents' fault." etc.

I'm writing this since I don't understand why there aren't more low reviews, so I'm working through my dislike.

Perhaps it's that I didn't have any context going in. He's rambling about this show or that thing about his personality (the Ace Man [him?] is a car guy [ok?]) and it's just empty filler for me. Perhaps it comes across as narcissistic irrelevance that he's tired of paying for everything and therefore having the right to complain about it - and we readers with minimal life similarities are supposed to find this hilarious.

Everything else was just kind of semi-autobiography with examples how I wouldn't want to weakly parent with my wife.

In conclusion, he admits he's an angry guy and, for me, that's mostly how it reads: not funny, just sad. Alternatively, it reads like something that was adapted by some stand-up comedy that only a really drunk, debauched crowd would occasionally laugh at.

The last 3 or so pages (1.2% of content) would have made a good essay with wise words on how much he loves his kids and what's important in life.

But I've rarely read a humor-genre book with so little enjoyment, and if Adam Carolla has taught me anything, it's not to waste your life on things you don't enjoy.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were parts of this that I found really interesting and enjoyed. And other parts that were very unnecessary and off putting. I have liked Carolla since Loveline, I may not have been his biggest fan, but I've seen a lot of his work. I have a low tolerance for intolerance of any kind and the 'You're wrong if you like this music' rant was off putting. I didn't even necessarily disagree with his statements, just the yelling and you're stupid way it was approached. I know that sounds a little ridiculous but its true.

I did like a lot of the advice he gave to his kids, especially in the last chapter. And hearing stories from his kids was fun.

[Ben Denison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like Adam Carolla and I loved this book.

Short book on parenting and dealing with the changes in parenting since “we were kids”. The ingratitude, unreasonable expectations, wastefulness, etc.... it made me laugh out Loud multiple times today. I did get though this in a day, really enjoyed Adam’s brand of humor. Lots of cussing, but, so is me in the school pickup lane.

I liked Adam and Dennis Prager’s college tour recently and I like his common sense pretty down the middle politics.

[Ru · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious book from the tangential mind of Adam Carolla. "Daddy, Stop Talking! & Other Things My Kids Want But Won't Be Getting" is kind of a weird memoir, mixed in with a parental guide in the 21st century. Of course, it wouldn't be complete without Carolla's timely and irreverent sense of humor, sardonic from the first page to the last. And that's a good thing.

This book is not far removed from any of Carolla's previous books in the memoir sense, though one could make the case "President Me" was a departure from that pattern. Carolla mixes in his observational comedy with stories about his own life, the life of his parents, wife and kids, and friends, and the result is a often-relatable form of entertainment, at least it was for me. The bottom line is that someone who doesn't like Carolla, or any of his previous works, isn't going to like this book, most likely. That's not to say it's only for Carolla fans, but it's probably only appealing for fans of his dry sense of humor.

The real fun of this book are the stories about Carolla's kids. In my opinion, kids are natural, unintentional comedians, and Carolla kind of capitalizes on this by recounting various situations he finds himself in with them and their mother. Part of me thinks they might be aghast by some of the stories when they get older, but there's no harm or malice behind any of them. Furthermore, I don't think these tales are limited to parents' enjoyment. He sets up the stories with enough general background information to make them a complete experience unto themselves, which is great.

It's always a welcome thing when expectations are met, or exceeded, by a book, and this book certainly accomplished both for me. I found myself laughing out loud (or at least chuckling) at times, to the point where I had wished this book was longer. But, that'll just build anticipation for Adam Carolla's next book.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love listening to Adam Carolla's rants and opinions. He's the opposite of PC and certainly not for those who are easily offended (or even sometimes offended?). I do think he's often right and even when I disagree with his opinions, they always offer some food for thought.

All of that said, I've never laughed harder at a book than I did while listening to this one. Perhaps it was because it was my first Adam Carolla I thought to seek on audio, or perhaps because it really was that hilarious. This is his fourth book and the first that focuses on his kids, his nine-year-old twins. Carolla was raised in poverty by parents who he happily refers to as "zeros." His life goals at their core are making a good life for his son and daughter. This doesn't mean that he holds back discussing the ridiculous responsibilities and challenges that come with parenting. The audiobook is filled with extras, including audio of his kids each coming to the studio and sharing a story about life in the Carolla house.

This is realness on a whole new level for those who are willing to read. Although he tells cringe-worthy stories about the ways his kids drive him up a wall, this is truly a love letter to them, for anyone who can embrace the fact that loving your kids is not a straightforward emotion.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably my least favorite Carolla book, but still decent. As always, he is fairly anti-PC. The weakest part of the book was the first half. It mostly contained complaining about his entitled wife and kids are in general. I think if he had presented this book more like President Me: The America That's in My Head it would have been much better.

There is a section where he goes off on how sucky his parents were. While this, again, felt distasteful, he does make some great points about learning where your parents failed and making sure you're on top of those things yourself.

The good parts - talking about appreciating life regardless of your fame and fortune, that success is a constant effort, taking time to learn what your kids like and exposing them to what you like, talking to your kids, not making the mistakes your parents make, the ways in which being rich actually sucks (and not in a braggy way).

While things about Adam can annoy me, in this PC world, I often appreciate his refusal to cave. And the last part of this book is great, because he says why he's glad his is parent. This coming from a guy who always seemed super selfish is really great.

[ROBYN MARKOW · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adam (Ace) Carolla is a very smart (as well as funny )guy and I've read all his books. I don't agree with everything he writes;like the tired stereotype that women drivers are not as good as male drivers (though I expect he's pulling our leg a lot the time) But,In short,I got quite a few laughs and wisdom from this very tall guy. Carolla does tend to rant a bit but if you've ever listened to his podcast,that's his shtick. In this book,he focuses on writing to his 9 year old fraternal twins,Sonny and Natalia (who are cute and remind me a bit of my niece and nephew who are also boy/ girl twins) To be honest,I hope he and his wife hide this book from them since a lot of it has to do with some rather adult subjects. However,The Aceman's heart is definitely in the right place and his observations are hilarious as well as thoughtful. A fast read & I loved the cover! P.S. I'd give this book 4 stars but it needed some editing.

[Randee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Adam Carolla is a pretty smart and funny guy. I have not seen him do stand up or any of his TV shows, but I've listened to some of his podcasts. My friend also loaned me an audio tape of his book 'President Me' which was even funnier than this book. Adam sounds like he is well grounded, has common sense and his kids are lucky to have a father like him. Even though the tone is humorous, he makes it pretty clear that spoiling kids make for rotten, unhappy adults. No matter how wealthy a parent is, I do not believe they are showering their children with kindness to buy them a car or pay 100% of their college education. You appreciate what you, yourself, have earned rather than what has been given. This makes for a happier person who has better self esteem and pride in working to achieve their goals. Whether one agrees or disagrees with Carolla, he has well thought out opinions that he ensconces in a humorous way.

[Leah K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Daddy, Stop Talking!: And Other Things My Kids Want But Won’t Be Getting by Adam Carolla
239 pages

★★★

This is a parent “advice” book from comedian Adam Carolla. He’s rude, he’s crude, he’s certainly not PC. And if you are actually taking all his advice as the best advice out there? Get your brain checked. He’s a comedian with no education (just experience) in such subjects. I see reviews that this isn’t very good advice…duh. It’s a fun book if you don’t mind the lack of PC involved (some things even offended me and I’m not easily offended). But there are some cute stories in here and believe it or not, there are a few parenting gems in here. If you’re seriously looking for parental advice obviously go for someone actually licensed in the subject…it’s just for fun. It was a quick read.

[Roxanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is very relevant for any parent raising kids. Adam is a comedian, actor, tv host and he has written other books. He more or less states what I have observed. In this new generation of children they cannot put down their devices long enough to look around and see there is a world out there. They are totally addicted to their gadgets. They are spoiled rotten by parents who are too busy to raise them. What we should be teaching them is social skills, educate them, and make rules for them to grow up right. These kids need to appreciate their parents and other people. His book has wonderful parenting advice on how to raise good kids who listen.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adam Carolla is a comedian and TV/radio personality. This book is his commentary about his kids and parenting. He believes that most children, and his in particular, are given to much by their parents. His wife makes sure that his kids have everything they have ever wanted while he is working his butt off trying to pay for it all. He believes that parents do too much for their children so that when they become adults they won't be able to do anything for themselves. If you have ever heard Adam Carolla talk, it is easy to "hear" the book in his voice. I thought the book was entertaining and truthful.

[Jay French · Rating 3 out of 5]

In short, uncomfortably funny, to me. The overuse of profanity and the general trashing of his own parents are not what I’d consider highlights, but he has some funny bits here, some that seem very familiar to this Dad of two kids. I listened on audio, and this has to be the best way to experience this book. Carolla (apparently) goes off script a number of times, conversing with his producer and bringing his kids to the studio to have their say on how they were raised. Many years ago I enjoyed Carolla’s radio show online, and this was like a cable version of his old show, rants and all. I suspect this is an acquired taste, so ymmv.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Typical Adam fare - nothing in this book is at all new material since I listen to his podcast pretty much daily, but man - there is something about seeing his rants on paper (or a nook screen, sue me) that is deeply satisfying.

I'm surprised his typical "don't shit out kids that you can't afford" diatribe wasn't an entire chapter in this book - it seems like it would fit in well.

Or maybe in the words of Santino "Sonny" Carolla, Adam decided that including it didn't move the needle and as such was "just a waste of my time" ;)

[Shannan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not one of my typical books, but I had a free audio credit so I thought Why not? Carolla reminds me an awful lot of my own dad, so it was comfort to hear him rant and rave about his parenting experiences. The unexpected priceless gem of the whole book was the last little bit where he waxes philosophical about how we only get this one chance on Earth, so get it right. It was pretty inspiring. And a few belly laughs and an appreciation for my own hardworking husband were other good takeaways. Nice listen.

[Clint Priest · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable and funny read from the continuing sardonic wit of Adam Carolla. Written as a 'guide' to his children and to other parents based on his experiences in life and as a father. Traditional values and wisdom delivered in a completely non-PC and typically irreverent fashion. Ninety percent of the book feels as if the author read my mind. Absolutely hilarious. Brilliant. Highly, highly recommended, particularly for those that enjoy this blend of values and wit.

[Alishia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my new favorite books. Adam Carolla tells a very honest and funny account of parenthood...the ups the downs, the IVF, the differences in boys and girl...and everything else in between. This story reads as though Adam is sitting in front of you having a conversation.

I highly recommend this to anyone, even if you don't have kids or your kids are grown you will find this light and funny.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Officially burnt out on Adam Carolla. Two books in a row is too much.

Another fine addition to the collection. Unexpected heartwarming message to his kids at the end. But yeah, the usual.

If he didn't make me laugh so, I'd disagree with him on nearly everything. He gets kind of political in this one. I can see if many get turned off. Then again, he's like Howard Stern. They have their audiences.

[Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great "Adult" book about family, respect, work, money and lots of laughing and shaking of my head with a huge smile. Remember kids and family need you. Put the iPhone/iPad/iPod down and get involved! Oh and listen to this book don't read it. Oh and if you get offend easily? This isn't for you. Corolla even went off on my Prince and I still laughed.

[Josh Raymer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Carolla's books. They're hilarious, truthful, and politically incorrect. The dude just says what he thinks, and I admire that in an author. I didn't relate to this one as much since I don't have kids, but I still enjoyed his random sidebars on the general state of society (crumbling, if you were wondering).

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's Adam Carolla. He and I grew apart a very long time ago, and I shouldn't have expected much. Somehow I was still hoping for a nugget of humanity, so I kept going. The last few pages showed me that underneath it all, he is still a human being who truly loves his family. His baggage is pretty roughed up, but where it really counts, he gets it. Just don't let anyone know his secret.

[Lilly Barrone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've never found Adam Carolla that funny on his show. He just seemed kinda annoying.

BUT...

I got this book at the library accidentally and got stuck on a long train ride with my sister. Instead of talking to her, I started reading this. And it was pretty funny. So I finished it and I"m glad I did.

Sorry for all the mean stuff I said about you before, Adam. Loved your book.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was just ok. There were funny spots, but other times he was trying to be funny and it fell flat. If I were his child reading this as an adult, I would not find the stories about me to be funny, and it made me feel bad for his kids. They aren't old enough to give permission for some of these stories to be shared publicly.

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a decent book. I've read all of Adam Carolla's books and you pretty much know what you are going to get. I hate to compare it to his other books, but "In 50 Years..." was such a great book that I don't think he'll ever be able to replicate the greatness of that book. That's still the funniest book I have ever read. I'm sure I'll read his next book too.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was okay, it had funny parts but sometimes it just kept going making the funny parts over done. I like his lack of political correctness, but he just sticks on a thought a little bit too long.

[qwerty · Rating 4 out of 5]

decent book a few distasteful jokes but a decent book nonetheless

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know there are lots of Adam Carolla haters out there, but I think he's funny. This book, however, was not. It was too stream of consciousness for my liking. Then, it got too ranty, and there was entirely too much misuse of the word "retarded". Although there were a few cute parts, nothing really made me laugh.