12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn

by James Proimos

"Finde den besten Pizzaladen der Stadt.
Räume die Garage auf.
Setz dich unter einen Baum und lies ein komplettes Buch.
Iss eine Mahlzeit mit einem Unbekannten."

Nur Hercules traut sich auf der Trauerfeier auszusprechen, was sein Vater wirklich war: Ein Arsch. Zur Strafe muss Herc zu seinem Onkel reisen und erhält eine Liste mit 12 Aufgaben. Eine schräger als die andere. Aber Herc hat ganz anderes im Sinn: Er will das schöne Mädchen aus dem Zug wiederfinden. Und dann kommt eins zum anderen...

Genres: Young Adult, Humor, Teen, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary, Fiction, Coming Of Age

118 pages, Paperback

First published November 8, 2011

About the author

James Proimos has yet to rescue a small human from a river, but he has written and illustrated many books for them. James splits his time between Los Angeles and Middleburg, Virginia.

Reviews

[Autumn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from MacMillan Publishing. It was a quick read, taking me only about 30 to 45 minutes to finish (that includes the time my cats were distracting me). I liked the characters snarky, sarcastic comments. I write much like an adolescent male myself so I connected with the Hercule's humor. The entire portion where he applies for jobs cracked me up.

12 Things is the story of "Hercules" Martino. His father, a best selling self-help author, has died. His mother sends Hercules to stay with his uncle in Baltimore for the rest of the summer, which is for a mere two weeks. Hercules is a typical teenager and just wants to lounge around, wasting the rest of his summer away. His uncle gives him a list of things he must do each day. Along the way Hercules comes to terms with his father's death - a man who he disliked while millions of others loved and adored.

I keep on flip flopping back and fourth if I liked this book or not. It was so short that it didn't feel like there was much character development. It was cute and funny, but not an earth shattering life changing read. I'm going assume because of my age (35) and because of what I usually read (Paranormal Romance) that the book didn't completely click with me. I would recommend it for younger teens as the back of the book suggests - ages 14 and up. I liked the author's writing style for this story though. The author has written children's books before and this is his first novel for young adults. I'd say he's off to a good start in the young adult world.

[Nikki (Wicked Awesome Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

12 Things To Do Before You Crash & Burn is a very quick read, taking me only about an hour. But it’s also a bit of a dull read. The story revolves around James “Hercules” Martino spending the summer after his father’s death at his uncle’s house. To keep him busy, Herc’s uncle gives him a list of 12 things to do in his boring Baltimore suburb, but Herc’s preoccupied with a girl he barely spoke to on his train ride from his hometown in NYC.

As far as plot goes, 12 Things To Do Before You Crash & Burn is somewhat lackluster. It’s a good book for reluctant readers, and definitely geared more towards a male audience, but Herc’s list of 12 things lacks purpose. He goes here , there, and chases this idea of a girl everywhere, but I never felt the connection as to why. Things just happen, but they don’t seem to matter.

The story behind Herc’s nickname is a nice touch and adds some depth to the main character, but all in all, 12 Things To Do Before You Crash & Burn remains a rather slow and predictable book. If you’re looking for something to read quickly, in one sitting, then this is a good one to pick up. Proimos injects some good humor that many readers will eat up, so if simple, teen male read is what you’re in the mood for, this one will certainly satisfy.

[vic]

i think this was supposed to be meaningful or something? but it really didn't give me much

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally a book for teen boys that won’t insult them!

[Mason Huber]

This book was a very good book to read because I thought it was realistic, fast-paced, and humorous. Hercules's mother sends him off to Baltimore to stay with his uncle Anthony, who gives the restless sixteen-year-old a list of twelve tasks to complete, including such concrete contributions as “Clean out the garage” and some more philosophical goals such as “Spend the day thinking big thoughts.” As Hercules pursues the list, more through inertia than through diligence, his real focus is on reconnecting with the beautiful girl he met on the train on the way to Baltimore. The pace here is blink-and-you’ll-miss-it zippy, with chapters only a page or two, dialogue and short paragraphs crackling along, and the whole shebang winding up in a little over 100 pages. There’s high-paced humor and more than a touch of enjoyable weirdness to the events, and Hercules’ episodic experiences , which occasionally echo the labors of the classical Hercules, sometimes become satisfying vignettes. The overall trajectory is less effective, however, since the emotional dynamics are underdeveloped and the information sometimes simply lacking; readers may rejoice that Hercules manages to take his dream girl to bed, but they won’t be entirely clear on where else his Baltimore experience has taken him. The snappy wit and general brevity, however, will make this appealing to reluctant readers and to those just looking for a quick sardonic pick.

[Paul Vender · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book 12 Things To Do Before You Crash and Burn a boy name hercules, is set off to his uncle Anthony house for the reminder 2 weeks of his summer vacation. His uncle anthony gives hercs a list of 12 things do before the summer ends. The story gets very exciting with all the so called "missions" he does from getting chased by dogs to meeting a super pretty good on the amtrak. Hercs will learn to get past his fathers death who he didnt like. Overall this book is a very good read and I would recommend reading this if you like action books and comedy.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

What did I just read?

[Anastasia Milo · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be honest, I don't know why I liked this book that much. It's nothing special. But I enjoyed reading in so much.

[Stephanie Cook · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay. I managed to read it in under half an hour. Nothing special about it.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s not often that you see a short story being sold among the hyped godzillas of YA books. At 128 pages long, and taking only a few minutes to read, 12 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU CRASH AND BURN is almost a respite from the books that take days to read and zap you off all your happiness with their sad tales of woe. Although it is short, this book is packed full of humor and wit, more than you would expect for a book with roughly 12,000 words.

This book was short, so oddly for me, this review will be short, too. This is the story of Hercules Martino, a kid who has just lost his famous father (a self-help book author) and has been told by his mother to spend the last two weeks of his summer with his uncle in Baltimore. His uncle gives him a list of 12 things to do – things like have a mission, find the best pizza place, go on job interviews, and so forth. His mission to complete every step is comic and full of zingers and fun events, as well as some minor heartbreak, all in the course of just a few short pages.

Hercules has a number of things to deal with – death, life, family, friends, love. On the train, he meets the girl of his dreams and we spend most of the book learning more about this hopeless crush and the girl he’s smitten with. Some of the tasks end up done the right way, some are totally forgotten, but the path he takes to discovering himself and learning more about living life to the fullest is quirky and interesting.

I enjoyed learning more about Hercules, even though his narration took a few chapters to get used to. I think maybe the author was trying too hard to find that all too important teen voice, but once he hit his stride, it might not have been the most believable but it was passing and interesting. His experiences are totally unlike anything that ever happened to me! Losing books leading to strange encounters with homeless men and angry cousins, horses and pizza, baseball and realizing that first impressions aren’t everything.

This book will definitely appeal to hesitant teenage male readers. It’s short and it has a protagonist that boys can definitely identify with. And it’s really funny, to boot. If you have a reluctant boy on your hands, try this book on him – he might enjoy it! I just wish there had been more to the story. It seemed short, and getting into the mind of Hercules more would have helped his case as a protagonist.

VERDICT: Short and sweet (by sweet, I mean devilish and hilarious), 12 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU CRASH AND BURN is an interesting take on the mind of a teenage boy – and you can finish it in only a few minutes!

[Brina · Rating 1 out of 5]

"12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn" von James Proimos stand sehr lange ungelesen im Regal, von daher war es nun endlich an der Zeit, dass ich dem Buch eine faire Chance gebe. Meine Erwartungen an das doch recht kurze Buch waren nicht allzu hoch, was letztendlich gut war, denn leider hat mich "12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn" doch sehr enttäuscht.

Mit gerade einmal knapp einhundertzwanzig Seiten ist die Geschichte recht dünn und in kurzen Kapiteln verpackt. Die Geschichte liest sich zum Großteil sehr flüssig, sodass das Buch doch recht schnell ausgelesen ist. Problem ist jedoch, dass die Geschichte einen so dermaßen unsympathischen Protagonisten mit sich bringt, dass ich oftmals nur genervt die Augen verdreht habe und das Buch am liebsten mehrfach abgebrochen hätte.

Hercules' Vater ist tot. Während alle um ihn trauern, hat Hercules nichts besseres zu tun, als seinen verstorbenen Vater vor allen zu beleidigen. Zur Strafe, aber auch zur Trauerbewältigung soll er einige Zeit bei seinem Onkel verbringen, wo er über sich, sein Leben und seinen Vater nachdenken soll. Dabei bekommt er zwölf Aufgaben, die er erledigen soll, was ihn jedoch nur nervt und er seinen Mitmenschen auch mehr als deutlich macht. So werden ständig andere Menschen beleidigt und verspottet. Hercules selbst sieht die Schuld immer nur bei anderen und ist zu unreif, aber auch zu stur, um eigene Fehler zuzugeben. Dazu ist Hercules komplett ohne Tiefe gezeichnet. Man erlebt ihn immer wieder in seiner Wut, ohne aber weiter in seine Gefühlswelt einzugehen, um diese zu verstehen, was es so schwer macht, ihn und sein Verhalten auch nur ansatzweise nachzuvollziehen.

Allgemein ist die Geschichte sehr oberflächlich gehalten, was sehr schade ist, denn die Thematik hätte hier so viel mehr hergegeben. Zwar bekommt man immer mal wieder kleine Fitzelchen aus seiner Vergangenheit und erlebt dabei auch seinen Vater, allerdings ist dies alles immer nur angekratzt, sodass man nicht wirklich viel über ihre Beziehung erfährt und somit auch Hercules' Verhalten nicht nachvollziehen kann.

Somit ist "12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn" für mich eine große Enttäuschung, da der Autor das vorhandene Potenzial nicht genutzt hat, sondern lieber einen unreifen, stets beleidigenden Charakter geschaffen hat, der sich durch die gesamte Geschichte durch schmollt. Mehr Tiefe und bessere Einblicke in die Vergangenheit sind ebenfalls Mangelware, sodass ich "12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn" leider nicht empfehlen kann.

[Chrissie · Rating 1 out of 5]

12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn is one of those rare books where every character in it is an unlikable character. With only 120-something tiny pages and sparse writing, one would suspect that there was enough time to properly develop the characters to make them especially likable or unlikable. But, one would be wrong.

The story follows young Hercules as he sent to live with his uncle in Baltimore for the final twelve days of summer (for such a short period of time, why bother?). His jerk of a father had just died, and his mother wanted him out of her hair like any respectable parent. Naturally, Hercules is more upset with needing to spend twelve days in Baltimore because there's nothing to do (as a Baltimore native, I can't begrudge him that).

So anyway, Hercules meets this girl on the train and half stalks her to return her copy of Winnie-the-Pooh. There's the most awkward love story that I have ever read, tons of crude humor and a fast-paced plot that at the end left me asking "Why did I bother with this?" Sprinkled in the story were the odd Baltimore references (the row homes, Natty Boh, Orioles, a "Baltimore accent", etc.) that felt awkwardly placed.

In the end, nothing really happens. Hercules only makes very minor, very forced realizations about him and his dad being similar, gave up stalking a girl, and answered his mother's phone call after nearly two weeks of ignoring her.

[Arminzerella · Rating 4 out of 5]

One can devour this tasty tidbit of a novella in about an hour – it’s a quick read with very little baggage (and no excess verbiage) to weigh it down. Hercules Martino is sent to Baltimore to visit his uncle after his very famous father passes away. The only thing they have in common is a dead relative whom they both think was an ass. Since their last visit went not so well, Uncle Anthony comes up with a list of 12 tasks (one for each day he’s in Baltimore) for his nephew to accomplish. Part scavenger hunt, part adventure, part romance (so!many!parts!), follow Hercules as he opens himself up to a new city and new experiences, and lets go of the anger he has for his dead dad.

I raced through this – it was short and sweet and perfectly paced. Hercules is a funny, angsty kid and he gets himself into (and out of) lots of scrapes. I love that he was willing to put himself at the mercy of his uncle’s list and let whimsy take him – like he had nothing left to lose and everything to gain. Friends of mine once created a scavenger hunt for me to complete while I was visiting (I wanted to go for a walk, they needed to go grocery shopping; we compromised) and I had the same sort of delightful discovery (except that I didn’t have a Beautiful and Unattainable Woman to track down) adventure as Hercules. I appreciate his openness. Very satisfying.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a neatly packaged book geared toward boys that's simple, straightforward (with a few pieces that you must suspend your disbelief), and just captures a two week visit to his uncle's house after Hercules (his nickname) goes off the deep end with his mother following his not-so-perfect dad's death.

His father wasn't all that, but because his father was a famous self-help book writer and talk show host, of course everyone else thought he and his family were perfect, but Hercules knows different. He's not struggling with his father's death, but regardless, his mom sends him to his uncle's house to get out for a bit.

To occupy his time, his uncle gives him a list of things to do that are not typical: going to a house of worship and praying, go on seven job interviews. Then there are the typical: find the best pizza place in town. More or less Hercules completes the task with much gusto and humor which makes for an entertaining 20 minute (in my case) read that was light-hearted and fun.

[Brandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Herc's dad died recently, and while Herc is the first to admit that his dad--a Dr. Phil-type self-help guru--was an ass, he's been a pain in the ass to his mom ever since. She sends Herc off to spend the last two weeks of the summer with his uncle in Baltimore. The uncle gives him a list of 12 tasks, one for each day he'll be there, to keep him from getting bored. And in the process of finishing the tasks, Herc learns a lot about himself and about his family.

Great that it's so short and thus a good choice for reluctant readers, but I do wish we'd seen more--the characters don't really have the time they need to develop; Herc's poor relationship with his father is explained in a short paragraph but we don't really get a lot of evidence. Pretty much all we know of Herc's mom is that she sends him to his uncle and calls a lot (though Herc never picks up).

So, I dunno. I can see appeal, but I wanted far more than this slim little story could deliver.

[Jeanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is an element of struggling teen boy readers that would really like this book. It doesn't have the look of a high interest reader, there are few words on the small pages, chapters are extremely brief, and it's full of swear words. ( It took about 45 minutes to read from beginning to end and it's 121 pages.) However, I got to the end and went that's it? The epiphany is missing. What did Herc learn from his little stay with his uncle? This book had potential, and I see the author was going for the very sparse style that appeals to young adult boys, but the story needs some more development.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

16-year old Hercules Martino has to complete 12 "labors" assigned to him by his Uncle Anthony, who is looking after the teen for the summer. Day 7--go on seven job interviews--was very funny. A tight little novella. Quick and easy read, but the implicit sex and language puts it in the 14+ category.

[Cristian FP · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doce cosas que hacer antes de explotar es la odisea de un héroe en transformación, incluso el protagonista tiene el seudónimo de Hércules, nada de lo que está pasando es ajeno del mismo protagonista.
En cuanto a escritura es un libro muy sencillo de leer, bastante divertido e incluso emotivo, no se complica la redacción, la sustancia está en el contenido de la historia misma.

[Geneva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Realistic? No. However, with a main character named Hercules whom is given 12 tasks to complete I think you can forgive the moments that are a bit far-fetched. It is a fun and entertaining read with some good messages.

[Aidan Dunleavy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, sweet, and to the point. The book is extremely short, and is filled with witty humor, alongside some hidden and occasionally deep morales.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad to have this book in my library for my non-readers. It's not a great book but there is enough there to give kids something to think about. Super fast read.

[Elke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anfangs war ich mir nicht sicher, ob mir die flapsige Sprache und der wiederholte Gebrauch einiger Kraftausdrücke zusagen. Aber der Autor schafft es tatsächlich, die Sprache der Teenager authentisch wirken zu lassen, und schon nach kurzer Zeit hat sie mich nicht mehr vom Inhalt abgelenkt. Die Geschichte von 'Herc', wie er die ToDo-Liste seines Onkels abarbeitet und was er dabei erlebt und letztlich über sich selbst herausfindet, ist sehr skurril und witzig. Aber immer wieder blitzen auch ernste Untertöne durch, wenn es um die Erinnerungen an seinen verstorbenen Vater geht. Ein überraschendes und ungewöhnliches Buch, das erfrischend anders ist und sicherlich noch eine Weile nachwirken wird.Durchaus empfehlenswert.

[Akesa Mar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely enjoyed reading this book, it's totally geared towards teenage boys. 16-year-old Hercules is sent from the Upper West Side home to Baltimore to spend the last two weeks of summer with his Uncle Anthony. As soon as he arrives Hercules was given a list of things that he must accomplish during his stay, despite his resistance he somehow manages to stumble into each task and was able to complete them. The book contains genuine moments of ridiculous humor, the chapters are really short and it doesn't have a great connection with each other. You might find some chapters confusing and odd plots here and there but somehow one way or the other it's an enjoyable book to read. I would recommend this book to 15-16 year olds.

[Clara · Rating 1 out of 5]

We had to read this at school and I absolutely didn't like it. In my opinion the story didn't have any concept, He kinda just did the things on the list and weirdly tried to get to know this girl. He also kinda only thought of himself when he wanted to get to this girl and I also just don't like books where it's the white cis-het male who was the victim of a women. I also didn't understand the relationship between him and his uncle at all. They kinda hated each other but also didn't?

Also the writing was really confusing, maybe because I read it in German, wich isn't the original but still, I feel like a 40 year old man tried to sound like a 16 year old.

[nona ★ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ich habe das Buch heute gelesen, während meine Freundin Larissa Latein-Schulaufgabe nachgeschrieben hat, und ich kann nicht verstehen, wieso manche dem Buch nur 1 Stern geben. Ich fand das Buch unterhaltsam und lustig. Vor Allem haben mir die sarkastischen Bemerkungen gefallen und die Bewerbungen von ihm an eine Firma. Das Buch ließ sich in weniger als einer Stunde lesen und war eine schöne, köstliche Zwischenlektüre!

[Mansi Qadeer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book at a substitute lesson.
I read this in school substitute lesson 21st November last year! Remember students live the life you want, not your parents should decide not your teachers, and certainly not your peer group. Decide on your own but remember everything is written already. In your script of life.

[Ray Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read!!! Very funny !!!

[Deb Kienzle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice quick read. Good for a reluctant reader.

[Mia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really quirky book, yet there were some deeper meaning behind. I have never read anything like this, I liked it. A really easy and quick read.

[Sebastian Gill]

Good interesting book.