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Der Mann, das Opfer
Nach ihrem Bestseller »Toxische Weiblichkeit« formuliert Sophia Fritz eine empathische Kritik des Mannseins, die nicht anklagt, sondern verstehen will.
Der Mann, ein Opfer? Nein – und ja. Noch immer sind es vor allem Männer, die regieren, besitzen, entscheiden, gewinnen. Doch hinter der Dominanz zeigt sich eine widersprüchliche Männer blocken ab, setzen sich über andere hinweg, schweigen und verschwinden. Sie fehlen, in Familien und Partnerschaften, einander und sich selbst. Ausgehend vom Verlust ihres Bruders erkundet Sophia Fritz das Mannwerden in der Gegenwart. Sie sucht nach den kulturellen und emotionalen Mechanismen, die erklären, warum Männlichkeit in ihrer heutigen Form so viel Schmerz erzeugt – für die, die sie verkörpern, und für jene, die unter ihr leiden. Nach "Toxische Weiblichkeit" ist "Der Mann, das Opfer" eine dringend gebotene und empathische Kritik patriarchaler Männlichkeit, aber vor allem ist es eine Einladung, an dessen Stelle etwas Neues, Freieres und Verletzlicheres zu setzen.
Der Mann, ein Opfer? Nein – und ja. Noch immer sind es vor allem Männer, die regieren, besitzen, entscheiden, gewinnen. Doch hinter der Dominanz zeigt sich eine widersprüchliche Männer blocken ab, setzen sich über andere hinweg, schweigen und verschwinden. Sie fehlen, in Familien und Partnerschaften, einander und sich selbst. Ausgehend vom Verlust ihres Bruders erkundet Sophia Fritz das Mannwerden in der Gegenwart. Sie sucht nach den kulturellen und emotionalen Mechanismen, die erklären, warum Männlichkeit in ihrer heutigen Form so viel Schmerz erzeugt – für die, die sie verkörpern, und für jene, die unter ihr leiden. Nach "Toxische Weiblichkeit" ist "Der Mann, das Opfer" eine dringend gebotene und empathische Kritik patriarchaler Männlichkeit, aber vor allem ist es eine Einladung, an dessen Stelle etwas Neues, Freieres und Verletzlicheres zu setzen.
263 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 6, 2026
About the author
Sophia Fritz
8 books67 followersSophia Fritz hat Drehbuch und Dramaturgie an der Filmhochschule in München studiert. Ihr Debütroman "Steine schmeißen" erschien 2021, 2024 erschien bei Hanser Berlin der Sachbuch-Bestseller "Toxische Weiblichkeit". Unter ehrlichleben.de bietet Sophia Fritz Erforschungsräume für somatisches Erleben gesellschaftlich relevanter Themen an.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Fritz' last book already had a provocative title (Toxische Weiblichkeit, so "Toxic Femininity"), and now we get „The Man, the Victim“: At first you might think, “Hell no, Fritz has joined the ranks of the cynics—oh, those poor men, always having to make sexist remarks and commit femicide, boo-hoo”—but no, it’s about the fundamental insight we’ve already come to know from the wonderful Klaus Theweleit, the founder of gender studies in Germany: namely, that patriarchy destroys men. The book is framed by the true story of Fritz’s brother (remember: Theweleit’s Männerphantasien was inspired by the true story of his father, who drank himself to death). This brother was obsessed with bodybuilding and died from the consequences of his drug addiction; his therapist said he had been dissociated from his pain and distress.
And that leads directly to the bigger picture: Women are expected to have children, do emotional labor, and above all, never get angry; men are expected to be strong, to be providers, and to remain stoic—they’re allowed to get angry, at most, because that’s considered strong and masculine, but they mustn’t be insecure or sad or anything like that. The result, according to Fritz, is that men learn very early on to compartmentalize their emotions; they lose the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others and to deal with them. And this also leads—and this made particular sense to me—to a bizarrely high capacity to refuse to take responsibility when it contradicts their own self-image: Thus, they can harm others or a cause and then say: “It’s not my fault,” without being consumed by guilt. And there’s something to that: the inability to perceive oneself is the deficiency. Extreme examples can be found in Manon Garcia’s Living With Men: Reflections on the Pelicot Trial. This emotional impoverishment is also linked to the gender relationship gap—that is, the fact that many men have fewer social contacts.
Fritz uses the expression "patriarchal masculinity", not "toxic masculinity", because she wants to emphasize that she's not talking about biology, but about the internalization of harmful societal expectations. But you can’t equate the suffering of women under patriarchy with that of men: after all, men benefit enormously from it. And aren’t they partly to blame themselves? If the shame is supposed to change sides, where should it begin? Plus: Men are also severely punished when they deviate from patriarchal norms, but on the whole they still seem less inclined to question them. Fritz is tackling extremely difficult issues, all while trying to ponder how to create a better society for all. And to create that, people need to be held accountable, and they have to hold themselves accountable.
This book really put me through it, I was struggling and thinking and questioning how productive my own emotions are, no matter how justified. This is an excellent text to start a discussion - with men, because they need to face their personal responsibilty in order to shatter harmful conventions and not only uplift women, but set themselves free.
You can listen to the podcast crew asking some hard questions and wrestling with the text here: https://papierstaupodcast.de/podcast/...
And that leads directly to the bigger picture: Women are expected to have children, do emotional labor, and above all, never get angry; men are expected to be strong, to be providers, and to remain stoic—they’re allowed to get angry, at most, because that’s considered strong and masculine, but they mustn’t be insecure or sad or anything like that. The result, according to Fritz, is that men learn very early on to compartmentalize their emotions; they lose the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others and to deal with them. And this also leads—and this made particular sense to me—to a bizarrely high capacity to refuse to take responsibility when it contradicts their own self-image: Thus, they can harm others or a cause and then say: “It’s not my fault,” without being consumed by guilt. And there’s something to that: the inability to perceive oneself is the deficiency. Extreme examples can be found in Manon Garcia’s Living With Men: Reflections on the Pelicot Trial. This emotional impoverishment is also linked to the gender relationship gap—that is, the fact that many men have fewer social contacts.
Fritz uses the expression "patriarchal masculinity", not "toxic masculinity", because she wants to emphasize that she's not talking about biology, but about the internalization of harmful societal expectations. But you can’t equate the suffering of women under patriarchy with that of men: after all, men benefit enormously from it. And aren’t they partly to blame themselves? If the shame is supposed to change sides, where should it begin? Plus: Men are also severely punished when they deviate from patriarchal norms, but on the whole they still seem less inclined to question them. Fritz is tackling extremely difficult issues, all while trying to ponder how to create a better society for all. And to create that, people need to be held accountable, and they have to hold themselves accountable.
This book really put me through it, I was struggling and thinking and questioning how productive my own emotions are, no matter how justified. This is an excellent text to start a discussion - with men, because they need to face their personal responsibilty in order to shatter harmful conventions and not only uplift women, but set themselves free.
You can listen to the podcast crew asking some hard questions and wrestling with the text here: https://papierstaupodcast.de/podcast/...
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews