Living Islam Out Loud: American Muslim Women Speak

by Saleemah Abdul-Ghafur (Editor), Su'ad Abdul Khabeer (Contributor), Sham-e-Ali al-Jamil (Contributor)

Living Islam Out Loud presents the first generation of American Muslim women who have always identified as both American and Muslim. These pioneers have forged new identities for themselves and for future generations, and they speak out about the hijab, relationships, sex and sexuality, activism, spirituality, and much more.

Su'ad Abdul-Khabeer, Sham-e-Ali al-Jamil, Samina Ali, Sarah Eltantawi, Yousra Y. Fazili, Suheir Hammad, Mohja Kahf, Precious Rasheeda Muhammad, Asra Q. Nomani, Manal Omar, Khalida Saed, Asia Sharif-Clark, Khadijah Sharif-Drinkard, Aroosha Zoq Rana, Inas Younis

Genres: Islam, Religion, Nonfiction, Feminism, Muslims, Womens, Spirituality

224 pages, Paperback

First published August 15, 2005

Reviews

[YouMo Mi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is inspiring and motivational in its depictions of several Muslim American women activists and feminists and the obstacles they've had to overcome in voicing opinions that are often unheard or, worse, intentionally ignored by chauvinistic Muslims. I'm glad they came out with a book like this, especially one that is more reflective of the progressive outlook which many Muslims (myself included) would like to see more of.

However, I do think readers should be aware much of the content described in the book probably isn't reflective of the opinions held by most Muslim American women. As another reviewer noted, most of the women in the book are activists working for a change in their communities in the face of what they see as oppressive or patriarchal attitudes. The positions taken by some on women prayer leaders in mixed congregations, segregation in mosques, sexuality and homosexuality, and even women in leadership roles are not issues many religious Muslim American women see as a 'problem' or anti-female and in need of reinterpretation. Many would most likely disagree with these authors' solutions, as I'm sure some of them might probably disagree on certain issues amongst themselves.

Hopefully with more honest and open-minded literature by Muslims like this book, Muslim men and women alike will at least be better aware of the 'reality' of Islam in America which we must deal with, whether one agrees with others' viewpoints or not. Hearing everyone's voice is the most important idea to take from this book.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

In some ways there wasn't anything magnificent about this book, yet at the same time, I couldn't put it down. I read this book in 1 day after finding it at a used book store while visiting Chicago. I feel like with any book, my reading is informed by my own experiences and needs. In a lot of ways I've been needing an autobiographical account from Muslim women that is outside of the conservative and policed Islamic community I've been raised in. I found comfort in many shared mutual experiences and in hearing first hand accounts of how these women navigated some of the conflicts in being american and muslim.

[Monique · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this anthology a lot more than similar collections that I've read and this really surprised me! Ultimately, I think it came down to the ways in which the editor selected the contributors. Authors had to be 1) raised Muslim in America, 2) be contributing to public life in an extraordinary way and 3) possess the will and courage to share honestly the experiences that had shaped their lives. This is actually a lot more specific than other collections I have read (including queer Muslim ones).

It was this first category that I liked the best, because it encouraged a focus on what it meant to grow up as Muslim in the West, the relationships of first generation Muslims with their migrant parents as well as the histories of African American Muslims over many generations. Because all the authors had been raised in the West there were stories of dealing with racism and Islamophobia in the West alongside the cultural expectations of their families and the tensions existing here. Many were able to share stories about the breaking and then reconnecting/reforming their relationships with religion and culture as they grew up, experienced life and became more independent of their sometimes insular and/or conservative families and communities. A lot of writers still weren't sure where they were at with this last part - feeling disconnected and frustrated despite having faith - and this made it very real to me.

On top of this, the book also managed to talk about issues affecting the Muslim community such as racism (within the community), sexism, sexuality (queer and straight) domestic violence, activism and spirituality. All this whilst managing to mention September 11 only a few times!

The way that authors talked about the non-Western Muslim world (through arranged marriages, traveling to their parents homelands, media and mainstream representation whilst growing up in the US) really interested me as did the way converts/reverts were discussed (through relationships with husbands, partners, friends, ...sometimes their parents were the converts in their stories) and I really enjoyed hearing about these things from this very specific perspective.

I can't work out whether this is a 3 or 4 star read still but if anyone wants it - my work stocks it :)

[Shaheena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so much and it is apparently so controversial but this is what I learned from it.

I was moved by this book by identifying so much with the women and admiring these women even if I don’t necessarily agree with all their viewopoints. It was mentioned in the book that each of these women came to some of this realization after feeling judged and outed by the community. I can identify with that. I'm still trying to find my way back and am inspired that they did so much. I'm not sure I have the strength yet though to do all that..

To your point Sumi, I think we all figure it out when we are in that situation. I was brought up as the Muslim good girl for whom everything was black and white. I learned a few shades of grey in college and fought off arranged marriages for a while. Circumstances finally led me to an arranged marriage at age 25 after many issues (and a broken engagement before that). I am now 37 going on 38 so I was one of the first girls in the 'community' to get married. In fact after my broken engagement (again due to greediness and insaneness and black/white judgements by the guy's side), I was pitied by the community that I was damaged and needed to accept any offer that came to me. Well the marriage ended up being based on lies on their side and the whole Muslim community that was with me on my wedding day turned their backs on me. No one asked me about the abuse or issues but judged me that I was the woman and had to have made it work. Thank God my parents didn't feel that way and supported me and got me out of it. During that time, I questioned and actually fought with Allah about why this was happening to me. I also questioned the role of Muslims in our communities to support each other. I was deeply disappointed. Even the Imam I went to for help turned out to be a fraud and when I asked what to teach the children of the next generation he told me not to worry about the Ummah.

To this day (nearly 12 years later) people in the community remark on me as that girl who got divorced. I also have been branded as a divorcee and not marriageable even though our prophet married a woman older than him and also someone divorced. I lost a lot of faith in Muslims as a community but never lost may faith in Allah even though I questioned it. Later on when my mother died and being on the 'marriage circuit' up until age 37 as a Muslim divorcee, I have learned even more about judgement and the lack of support for women in our community. At one point I was actively volunteering for Manavi (an organization for South Asian battered women) and was told that I should no be volunteering for a 'hindu' organization when in fact the organization helped many Muslim women who were not being helped by the mosque but in fact being told to basically suck it up. One such woman was told to just go home and make it work by the mosque counselors after being hit with a horse whip!!!! In addition, I have found the attitude towards rape (I was told I could not be raped as a wife is never raped in Islam) and incest in our culture (the attitude that we don’t have it in Islam) is a crock!! We need to change those attitudes and by teaching by living our lives as the type of Muslims we want to see.

My friend Zeba took me to a Hamza Yousef lecture 2 years ago that finally opened my mind to an Islam that may be different from our parents' views. A uniquely American Islam. Up until then I was disgusted by Koranic translations by Maududi (who was very close to my family) when it came to women and although I didn't want to leave Islam or Allah, I didn’t know where to go. I think finding our own way and the 'greys' is what we will all end up doing and that is the only way to revolutionize this for us. Our community needs to rethink how we treat each other, especially women. I truly feel that currently they are not being Islamic. I'm not as courageous as the women in the book, but I hope to get there one day. In the meantime, I do love Islam and finally met a man who is outside of normal Islamic cultures and he converted after seeing my love for the religion. I have warned him that it is not what exists out there but I hope these types of groups help us fix that.

[Shafiqah Nor · Rating 4 out of 5]

An anthology/collection of writing by first generation Muslim American women.

I have been searching for something like this for a while. And so glad I found it! A highly recommended read.

From immigrants' trauma to cultural complexity.  Distinguishing between parents' interpretation and practices of Islam to the next generations' understanding. Intersecting roles of Muslim, Black and Woman as identities. To the politics of the hijab and occupying spaces/voices in Muslim Student Associations (MSAs) to the mosques, and even politically.

I loved how heterogenous each voices are in this short book. The diverse telling by 15 American Muslim women challenges stereotypes of Muslim women fitting into the same box.

From Sarah, who wore miniskirts but prayed five times a day like clockwork, this example shatters stereotype internal to Muslim communities who are quick to judge one's level of faith based on how they dress.

To coming-out as a queer and reconciling Islamic faith with family and cultural norms.

From sex to sexuality and how this (including the construct of virginity and notions of pleasure) very much remains a taboo and the elephant in the room in Muslim communities.

What I loved and appreciated the most is the theme of relationships. I related to the sentiment on interracial marriages and loved the piece by Asia Sharif-Clark. As the book mentioned "Marriage in Islam, not unlike marriage in other traditions, is a multilayered institution. Pressure to marry, layers of culture and patriarchy, notions of love and romance, idealism and expectations, dating..."

Overall, an incredibly empowering and wonderful read.

"Living Islam is a deeply personal, emotional, and spiritual experience"

[Tinea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful collection of life experiences written by American Muslim women, essays and poetry. Diverse life paths, religious convictions, and backgrounds are represented here, allowing space for different Muslim women to situate themselves, their struggles, and their desires (political, spiritual, and personal) within this US context of patriarchy, white supremacy, Islamaphobia, xenophobia, secular liberalism, and many things wonderful, empowering, and fulfilling which don't sum up into those neat, tight words of oppression. A necessary book, though perhaps limited in that this is a book of life experience and not critical analysis. I dunno, I just like critical analysis.

[Bruce · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It has been said there are as many paths to God as there are individual souls. Living Islam Out loud is a collection of essays written by American Muslim women about their experiences in searching for God. The editor’s intention is to “humanize American Muslim women to our fellow citizens of the world.” For many of the essayists, including the editor, “alienation from the mainstream Muslim community was a perquisite to our personal transformation.” She notes that each culture comes with its own interpretation of Islam but these women are all looking for “a more gender equitable and humanistic Islam.” In many of these ‘soul journeys’ the contributor is also “searching for the divine feminine in Islam.”
Three criteria had to be met for an author to be included: 1) “she must have been raised as a Muslim in America,” 2) she must be “contributing to public life in an extraordinary way,” and 3)”she must possess the will and the courage to share honestly the experiences that shaped her life.”
The editor leads off with her own story of her parents’ conversion to Islam and being raised a Muslim. She was raised with cultural baggage that caused her to endure a bad marriage for longer than necessary.
One young woman writes of being raised in the Desi culture and finding out that “our parents’ affiliation with Islam” about which some had little knowledge, was a way of holding onto their homelands of South Asia. Is that any different than most immigrant cultures which have congregated around ethnic churches until the second and third generations have moved away? She discusses the establishment of a dichotomy, “God’s Way or Satan’s way” which really meant parent’s way or Satan’s way, as “militant Islam in the kindest and most innocent of ways.” She continues with “[m:]y understanding of Islam was limited to my community’s teachings,” which essentially meant women being treated as chattel. This woman also had failed marriages, fell away from Islam and then returned to a more inclusive Islam.
The “Black, American, Muslim” historian tells of being raised in the Nation of Islam and then running into Muslim gender discrimination when she first left home.
In the introduction to the section on Love the editor notes that no one wants to talk about sex and sexuality and this attitude breeds dysfunction. A poem on interracial marriage begins the section. A Palestinian American woman tells of how she internalized the community’s attitude that a “being a quiet and demure girl was the path to being a respectable and pure woman.” This led her into a traumatic first marriage. However, since her divorce she realizes she has been given a second chance. This essay is followed by one that goes against the ideology is that a Muslim man can marry a non-believer but a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. It is about a Muslim woman who is happily married to a non-believer, i.e. non-Muslim.
In ‘Fumbling Toward Ecstasy’ the essayist discusses sexuality and the problem of not discussing it. She doesn’t believe the ‘reality of many Muslim women [male primacy:] is true Islam which is one of gender equity. A lesbian’s essay concludes the section and provides insight into that which is not discussed.
A poem thatt starts as a woman is trying to pray leads into a discussion of hijab and is a good link between the sections on sexuality and faith. An activist from Harlem is the next essayist. She uses a quote from the Prophet Mohammed to set the theme – if one sees an evil action do something to correct it. Her essay is one of constant activity to improve herself, her community and humanity. Morgantown, W.Va. is the scene of the next essay. Betrayed by her Muslim boyfriend, this contributor faced the stigma of being an unwed mother and fought for the ability of women to enter the mosque by the front door and pray in the main hall, just like the men. This essay is a discussion of her fight against gender discrimination. It is followed by two Islamic Bills of Rights for Women, one for the Mosque, the other for the Bedroom.
The last section is entitled ‘Soul Journeys.’ In the lead essay the writer is asking “Where and what is Islamic purity? Where and what is the truth?” and “how does it relate to my searching soul?” She reviews her childhood experiences that “emphasized punishment, ritual for ritual’s sake, and superstitution misunderstood as religion.” She notes the obvious reference to patriarchy in the Qur’an. Eventually she finds a ‘clearing’ that frees her from her past while retaining Islam. In ‘Siren Song’ a performer who had believed that “my desire to share my creativity with others was at odds with my identity as a Muslim woman” because she had been taught that ‘women and performance do not mix.’ She found her voice by a different interpretation of Islamic strictures. A poem about one of the divine women in Islam’s history separates this from the last essay. ‘My Son the Mystic.’ This essay is by the mother of an autistic boy. The meaning for this woman’s life “originated from the maternal womb.” She had strictly followed conservative Islamic requirements, complying with the teaching that anything that might attract a man, including the voice, should be concealed. Why, she wondered, after following all the rules was her son autistic? She turned to the ‘outside’ community when her local Muslim community provided only the common clichés to her question. The book ends with another poem, “My Sister’s Prayer.”
Unlike the book “American Islam,” this book is a collection of essays written by different women. Each has her own story but with a common thread, a search for God. It is a must read for all desiring to understand issues American Muslim women face and how some young women addressed them."

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book and one that every woman should read!

[Yoonmee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful collection of essays by amazing, inspirational American Muslim women. Keep in mind that the book isn't entirely representational of all American Muslim women (but what book could possibly represent everyone?). The writers were chosen by editor Saleemah Abdul-Ghafur based on this criteria: must have been raised Muslim in America, must be contributing to public in an an extraordinary way, and must possess the will and courage to share honestly. In that sense, these are the essays of liberal and progressive American Muslim women who are, as Abdul-Ghafur states, leaders in their communities be they the Muslim community and the American community or their local communities. I found it refreshing and inspiring to read all these strong, intelligent, independent women speak their minds about Islam and life in general.

Interesting note: Manal Omar has an essay in this book. She's featured in Christina Asquith's book Sisters in War: A Story of Love, Family, and Survival in New Iraq, which I have read and reviewed on Goodreads.

[Mohamed · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really didn't like this book. I just reached a point in the book that could not read it any longer. Some of the narratives were extremely brave but some things are better unsaid. When Allah veils us and conceals our sins; it ungrateful to share them openly.

[Homeless YeCo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is about young American Muslim women. Some are very liberal. This book got a mixed reaction from our members due to some irreverent parts.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enlightening. Clear writing and very moving, personal stories.

[Emilia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book!! Couldn’t get enough

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

A visit with Muslim women; so appreciated their faith in the reality of their lives.

[Momal Rizvi · Rating 3 out of 5]

i appreciated this book somewhat but also it felt like one of those weird things where muslim women only have stories that deserve to be read when they’re “successful” and have won awards and been featured in news stories. i think the concept of an anthology of muslim female stories is great, but this could have been so much better

[Ay · Rating 3 out of 5]

i enjoy this book for many reasons. it's not the first muslim women's anthology of experience that i've read, but i think it is the first compiled by an american black muslim woman. ( saleemah abdul-ghafur also co-created Azizah magazine, which was on the cutting edge before alot of these other magazines, delving into topics such as female filmmakers and domestic abuse. ) in some ways can relate to the editor - growing up american, female, muslim and black and having to deal with some of these issues of cultural baggage that foreign born muslims bring with them. it's nice to read a book by a woman who seems to have shaken off her cultural -isms and is okay with, or in the process of being okay with herself. secondly, it has a range of voices and experiences, and i am all for muslim women defining themselves and freedom in their own terms, without the redicule of their families, community groups and other women. this book is you, and it is me. written by us and for us.

[PB · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know if this anthology is one of the "first of its kind" or not, but I think because I have been reading a lot of "Muslim woman narratives" lately, after a while, (for the most part), they start appearing the same. Muslim women are women, they are powerful, they're complex, they struggle with their religion, they face abuse, and they grow from it all. I suppose for non-Muslims (and even many Muslims it would seem) who aren't as ...."well-versed" in the community, the book may be a bit eye-opening to them. The community is diverse, and the community is fluid and complex. I think the book does a great job with addressing those, and so I would recommend it. It just didn't engage me because, as I said, I think that I have been reading very similar things a lot lately so it felt repetitive.

[Sarah Lameche · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book started off a one thing then became something else. I really enjoyed the beginning of the book. The women's stories were full and interesting. Some of the poems I enjoyed some were just O.K. Then slap bang I hit a stumbling block. When I read 'Hijra from Harlem' it spoiled the book for me. This women literally states "when I become president...". I just didn't enjoy reading this section. It irritated me and put me off reading on. However read on I did and I loved the next stories of the women fighting against adversity. It was interesting to see that 'the Muslim community' had actually took some women further away from their religion. I've definitely been there (now actually read the book). The final story was perfect to end on and I will be Reading this book (parts) again some day

[Roberta · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first came across this book when I attended a talk the author gave at a divinity school in Berkeley, CA. The book tends to focus on the negative and also devotes a lot of time to not-so-mainstream experiences, which may or may not mislead one into thinking that certain experiences are more common or usual than they are. That being said, I think that because this is the case, the narratives in this book are of a type too-often ignored by the mainstream Muslim community. Whether or not you agree with the conclusions/opinions of the women represented in the novel, I think that it has immense value and is worth a read. It shouldn't be the only thing you read about American Muslim women, but it should be one of the things that you do.

[Genie McFate]

What an awesome book! If you're curious about American Muslim women and want to encounter a variety of viewpoints on the topic, this is an excellent choice.

These essays by American Muslim women, cover a variety of topics: to hajib or not hajib, which can also have political connotations on top of religious ones; women fighting for the right to be equal members of mosques; marriage; American Muslim women who were born in the US or came here as immgrants; and a lesbian American Muslim who must write under a psuedonim for safety reasons.

Asra Nomani, one of the contributors, wrote the book "Standing Alone in Mecca".

I'm hoping that I'll find more writing by the contributors of this book as I'm curious as to what they're doing now.

[Aki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes I feel isolated in, what people call, progressive American Islam. I know that I'm not and this book reiterated that for me. The theme that every faith journey is different, that Allah is accessible to us even if we're not disposed to the most traditional interpretations of the Prophet's words and that Allah has given us the capacity to form our own blessed identity within His will was great.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

well planned and executed presentation of voices from the female american muslim perspective. Loved that the author was passionate about bringing voice to those who are seldom asked to contribute to diversity dialogues! perhaps would have liked to have heard voices of women who have converted to Islam as well as just those of women who were born into the faith. but that is my only concern. would recommend

[Eunice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anecdotes of those who have many number of identities: American, Muslim, Woman, Teachers, Wife, Mother, and more. They talk about struggles, joy, love, sex, job, education and family, and their lives. Cultural aspects and religious elements combined together, their struggles to synthesize their own identity. Very honest and strongly appealing stories.

[Ariel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the women annoyed me and others were very compelling; overall I'm glad I read this book. I don't know as much about Islam or about women's experiences in Islam as I would like to, and this was a good start. There were a lot of common themes in the stories, but each woman also had a unique perspective. Generally, it was well-written and illuminating.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I felt I got a variety of different voices of women with different experiences. I feel I got a stronger understanding of Islam and Muslims. Given the medias coverage lately I feel it was needed. Perceptions from the media paint Muslims in a very negative light and ignore the fact that Muslims are people.

[Amber Buchholz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried my way through this entire book. This is essential reading to anyone who takes seriously the Muslim woman's struggle to discover herself, reclaim herself, and walk with dignity on her spiritual path.

[miteypen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't quite what I expected. I thought it was going to be about American women converts to Islam. But in fact it was about women who were born Muslim and then had to find ways to reconcile their faith with their nationality. Still a good read. I recommend it.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly very depressing short pieces. I read this along with Infidel for a book club. Infidel provided a much deeper understanding of Islam, Muslim women, and the various cultural differences influencing the religion.

[Hafsa · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few powerful narratives, but the themes became a bit repetitive. Would have been nice to see more diversity in terms of ideologies of the contributors.

[Fatima]

not SS 297.082 LIV