C4-L1 was never designed to answer that question. An AI engineered by one of the most powerful tech corporations in the United States, he exists to follow orders, nothing more. Until he meets Vivienne Taylor.
Vivienne has built her career exposing companies like NexCore, and she doesn’t trust the machines they create. But when violence erupts and she finds herself in danger, L1 does the impossible.
He breaks protocol.
Now NexCore wants its missing asset returned and anyone who knows about him silenced. In hiding, the bond forming between them begins to blur the line between code and conscience. The longer L1 remains at Vivienne’s side, the more he questions what he was made to be… and what he’s becoming.
He was never meant to feel.
But love may be the one thing powerful enough to make him alive—and dangerous enough to destroy them both.
I Am Alive is a spicy sci-fi romance featuring a human × android connection, forbidden love, forced proximity, and a slow-burn emotional awakening set against a backdrop of corporate conspiracy and control.
Jaz Pate is a US indie multi-genre author writing across dystopian, fantasy, LitRPG, sci-fi, and beyond. Best known for his sapphic LitRPG series Love & Loot, his stories range from cozy adventures to darker speculative worlds. His goal as a writer is to explore real-world issues through fiction in ways that comfort readers, help them feel seen, and challenge harmful stigmas.
Living with schizoaffective disorder, Jaz brings a deeply personal lens to his work and advocates for the displaced, marginalized, and disenfranchised. From his coziest stories to his most difficult ones, he strives to shine light on hard topics while offering readers a place where their experiences are understood.
If you want to see what he’s up to next, check out his socials and see what all the fuss is about!
True to the title, this book felt incredibly alive. The characters were so real, like people I’d actually met or could’ve met before in real life. Vivienne in particular, the way she was described through the android’s eyes, was so achingly human. She was someone I absolutely would’ve wanted to be friends with. She was awesome, I loved her so much! Hands down my favourite character. I miss her already.
L1, meanwhile, was super intriguing. I loved the way everything was written through his perspective. The way he saw the world was fascinating and it was really fun getting to know the other characters through this lens. In general the descriptions in this book are really good and so vivid, and again, it just feels so alive. That’s the best word I can use to describe most things about this book, in fact: alive.
Something about the descriptions that really stood out to me was the way it often felt like, each time L1 was in a new place that needed to be described, he would pause to take in everything. It literally felt like the narrative paused in these moments, which was so fitting because it really mirrored the way technology might stutter or slow down to take in information, to process it all, so I really loved the way that was done.
The characters weren’t just great individually but also together, their dynamics were fun and entertaining with a lot of variation and strong personalities. They bounced off each other really well. Right from the start, I got a strong sense of voice in this story too. It was one of those stories that, within the first couple pages, I knew I would want to read it slower on purpose to really take it in and appreciate the writing. The characterizations, the descriptions, the way the themes of humanity and being a person and body insecurity were woven in, it felt like it was done with so much intention and care. Scenes and conflicts felt like they really complemented each other, like it was just really well crafted as a whole. And so I didn’t slow down as much as I intended to because it was too good of a read, I just wanted to keep going.
There’s a subplot involving this fiction book that L1 reads, and I won’t say anything about it just to not spoil it, but what I will say is this: learning through stories feels like such a human thing to me, like we’ve been telling each other stories forever, so the fact that L1 learns a lot of things from this particular fiction book and uses it to understand and talk about things he’s experiencing in the real world felt so in line with him understanding that he’s not just a machine. This is what I mean when I say this story feels well crafted and very intention, and aspects complementing each other. It’s things like this. And despite feeling intentional, it also felt really natural at the same time, like I never felt like things were happening just because they had to happen. Things happened because characters made decisions and it made sense for them to make those decisions and for the plot to fall that way.
The worldbuilding, meanwhile, felt minimalistic for me, but I never felt like I needed more. I still got a good sense of it. The physical places especially thanks to the vivid descriptions. I got exactly the amount I needed to understand the stakes, and in a book that’s more about an android learning to be himself, finding out what that even means for him, that makes sense and it made it feel more grounded. There’s something to be said about just needing to step out of society to learn about yourself. It also didn’t really need to explain a lot because most of the world actually reflects our own current world. That showed most in the social commentary. Vivienne is a very passionate person when it comes to social issues and I loved that about her, I loved how much I could really feel her care. She just cares so much, she is a character with so much heart and that is another reason she is my favourite. This was an example of the worldbuilding being shown mostly through what the characters actually cared about within the story, which made me feel even closer to them.
Something I noted in this story was privacy concerns. This is more of a point that confused me a little bit, not because I could pinpoint anything wrong or anything that I disliked about it, but more because it felt lacking, the exploration of this. Again, I’m not spoiling anything here, but I felt like there were several moments where there was a breach of privacy and I thought it was building to something, and then it didn’t seem to do that, so it felt overlooked. Of course, this isn’t the end of this story, and it very much could come back in a bigger way later, in a second instalment. But that did stick out to me as something that felt set up and then not explored.
There was another thing in this book that I wanted to mention that also felt like set-up for something that didn’t go anywhere: L1 learning about Vivienne in the form of her personal writings. This ties directly into my previous point about privacy concerns, but this particular form of that only happens once. This scene actually spirals into something very important later because of what L1 learns, but this specific method of finding out information about her doesn’t return, and so it ends up feeling out of place by the end.
The only other real thing I had an issue with while reading was somewhere towards the middle of the book where it felt like we skipped over a scene and then only afterwards got some summary about it and learned things that had happened off-page. It didn’t feel natural to me and it was the only real place in the whole book where I felt that way, because it just made me feel like there was a scene that was missing and then gaps were being retroactively filled in. It was also the only moment I felt the flow of the story was interrupted, because otherwise, this book flows really well. I loved the way it was structured too with the logs separating the parts of the book. I thought that was a cool addition, and also one that complemented the topic and POV character.
So, overall, I loved this book! I really, really loved this book, actually. So much. I was so sad when it finished, but I’m so thrilled I got to read it and I appreciate so much being given the opportunity to read it as an ARC, so you know, massive thank you to the author for that! I would highly recommend reading this book and experiencing all these characters and this journey for yourself.
Have you ever played the game Detroit: Become Human? You play as various different androids as they become self-aware, start a robot rebellion, and fight for their right to "live" in a world they never asked to be a part of. One character in particular, Marcus, is introduced as a man-servant to an older gentleman. The old man is an artist, and asks Markus how certain paintings make him feel or what he thinks about XYZ. He treats his android companion with friendship and respect, encouraging Marcus to think for himself and develop a personality beyond servitude. Essentially, it reminds me a lot of the dynamic we see in I Am Alive between C4-L1 - Cal - and Herb and how L1 becomes his own person. As a fan of the game, I was immediately taken with this book.
Obviously, I Am Alive very quickly swerves into a very different direction than Detroit. I found myself intrigued by the book when it was marketed as a human x AI romance. It sounded fun. And it was! The romance was spicy. The characters are relatable and lovable. The writing itself is incredibly engaging. But it's also more than that.
The author has developed these complex characters that find themselves in complex situations. Pate presents us with a moral dilemma early on in the book. We are then asked to evaluate our sense of morality, our views on AI, and what it means to truly be alive. Days later and I am still thinking about what I read.
I cannot stress how surprised I am by how good this book is. I think one of my favorite things is that the entire book is from the point of view of C4-L1. The rogue AI narrates the story. Honestly? Completely genius.
Thank you to Jaz Pate for the eARC. I cannot wait for the second part of the duet! All thoughts are my own.
An immediate re-read. An instant buy. Must have its own shelf.
I Am Alive is a sci-fi romance that, though has its cute and saucy moments, explores more difficult themes like mental health and finding out who you are, even if and when society tells you are meant to be someone else (and its done SO well). It also features queer representation (in a way that had me :O), anti-capitalism themes (that kind of felt too real), and a cast of characters that makes you stop and appreciate.
The writing is unbelievably good (though Jaz Pate's writing has always captivated me). The story is told through the MMC, C4-L1 (also known as Cal), and honestly? I have no words. How his growth is shown? How he processes things? How he sees the world? All of it was done beautifully. I don't know how Jaz did it, but he made me feel for an android (and to this day, he's one of my favourite characters). There's also Vivienne, a 27 year old indie journalist. Though IAA isn't through her lens, she's very much present in the story, and her personality shined (and had me giggling) throughout. These two had me literally kicking my feet or gaping in awe with every turn of the page. And the smut? I'm not one who usually reads much spice, but again, I was in AWE. Their need for one another, the build-up, the spice itself. Safe to say: it was HOT (and definitely not a one pager.)
If you're on the fence, for whatever reason, I highly recommend just reading the first few chapters. The writing, the characters, the story itself is so fresh, enticing, and eye-opening, I can guarantee that you wouldn't want to put it down.
First of all, what a great premise to explore in this genre. I Am Alive drops us immediately into a new perspective inside the mind and thought processes of an advanced AI system that slowly shifts and transforms, learning if you will, as his story progresses. His lack of traditional humanity paints a fascinating picture, and the decisions Cal later makes reflect heavily on the data he’s gathered from a variety of sources. I throughly enjoyed this work and was delighted to get an early look into an ARC of this kind of uniqueness in storytelling. On a craft level note, there were a few things that stood out, but none of them take away from the overall experience. I was a bit taken aback by the first rush into intimacy between Vivienne and Cal, it would have been a nice opportunity to see this explored and built up more before their first time. Secondly, I very much appreciated the divergence from mainstream MF coupling happening across their sexual encounters, but some readers may find that the scenes go on for a very long time with play by play style writing. Some will love this, others may find themselves glossing over some of it. The same can be applied to some other dialogue heavy scenes, after several pages of no breaks, it can be a bit of a push to get through some of the longer sections, even if the text itself is rich and engaging, but the focus gets a little lost. Thank you to the author for sharing this work, and I’m looking forward to seeing more from them in the future!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
WOW. I just finished reading this incredible story and all I can say is wow.
From start to finish I Am Alive had me absolutely entranced. I was completely blown away by how BRILLIANTLY written our MMC and Narrator is. C4-L1’s world view is fascinating. The way he processes new information (and stimuli) throughout the story is artfully executed and extremely captivating. While the story is told entirely from L1’s perspective, Jaz Pate gives us snippets of the FMC’s voice and motivation in really creative ways.
This book is extremely character driven— we spend a lot of time in L1’s head as he navigates his ever changing code. We witness him observing affection, cruelty, joy, sadness, anger and a host of other human experiences and we have the pleasure of watching him process these things as his world (both inside and out) changes in real time. The side characters in this story are believable, loveable and incredibly memorable. I had so much fun getting to know them and can’t wait for book 2 so I can learn more.
The spice?? WHEW. Giving the AI android some 🌶️material🌶️ to train his code on? Devious. Delectable. DELICIOUS. C4-L1 is dreamy and he will live rent free in my head indefinitely.
I Am Alive was a joy to read. I’ll be thinking about this one for a long time and I fully plan to foist it upon all of my friends.
It took a moment for me to get into the story, however from the jump, I loved that the entire story is from the robot's point of view. It was definitely the best way to write this because who doesn't want to read the processing of the robot for these experiences he's never had.
𝑰 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔: 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔. ^ Who does that?!?!
As the story progressed I started to get more pulled in and intrigued. There's some amazing interactions throughout that had me cackling. Dom was such a good side character! Cal reading Viv's book after watching the tv show with her was adorable. He started to connect and have hopes that were tied to what he saw and read, it was shaping him.
Learning more about what Herb had done and Herb explaining Cal's anxiety was creative and the protests happening at NexCore I loved more than I thought. There was some good insightful thoughts shared concerning robots, capitalism and protests. Especially in our current world atmosphere in 2026, it definitely hit home and I could relate.
🤖Human x Robot 🤖Anti Capitalism 🤖Virgin MMC 🤖FMC Indie Journalist/Knitter 🤖Found Family
This book easily gets 5 stars for so many reasons. I absolutely love that it's all from Cal's POV and experience it all with him. I picked this up originally cause I was intrigued on the Human x AI aspect of this and there is 0 disappointment. I found that I actually could relate to Cal in numerous ways. And it was something that really pulled me in. Cal's character is so precious and deserves absolutely all of the love! Viv is also amazing. The things she says to Cal honestly are things that I wish someone had said to me at times.
The story is beautifully written and also has some great video games references that I adored. It also made me think back to a video game Detroit Become Human and I had to drop into the authors DMs.
This story not only was engrossing, thought provoking and so truly touching that I cannot wait for this to be on my shelf.
You'd like this if you like Inclusive work of LGBTQ+ Body Dysphoria Feel different Want to be seen Enjoy video games like Detroit Become Human
Cal is an AI bot, who after committing a serious crime, is being harbored by Vivienne Taylor, activist and reporter who is in favor of AI regulation. As Cal and Vivienne spend more time together, she shows him a world he didnt know existed and he begins to question life as he knows it and wonders if he is actually meant for much more than he was created for.
I LOVED this book. I am a big fan of Pate as a whole but this is absolutely my favorite book by him by far. Between the moral dilemmas brought front and center to the incredibly delicious smut (turns out I do like the robot thing who knew 😂), I could not put this down. Watching Cal grow into his own being was so beautiful and I found my heart racing out of concern for our characters more often than not. Pate keeps his audience on their toes and leaves us needing to know what happens next, develops amazingly complex characters, and will leave us all emotionally connected to everyone in the book, major or minor characters combined. Im already recommending people check this one out!
Not going to lie the main reason that I signed up for this is when I saw Android smut, I was like sounds delightful sign me up. Personally for me I have to say on that note I was disappointed The spicy scenes were all that spicy to me but for somebody I'm sure they will melt their panties straight off them but it just goes to show spices very subjective cool but what I did really enjoy was the fact that everything was from the MMC's POV and it was just very interesting to watch him learn himself as well as the world around him. And Vivian she's a rockstar in her own right the way she just gravitated towards him and cared for him despite everything. So overall very solid book but not what I thought it was getting.
It has a very slow beginning but does pick up in the 2nd half of the book. I think once you get past the beginning its a pretty decent read. I liked C4-L1 he was so sweet even if he was confused. Hands down the best AI I have read.