Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More

by Leah Ruppanner (Author, Reading)

Listening Length: 9 hours and 10 minutes

A renowned sociologist and researcher reveals how women can build the life they really want

The term mental load has become more familiar in recent years, but the popular understanding of the concept often reduces it down to managing a list of household chores and logistics. Sociologist Leah Ruppanner reveals that for women, mental load actually goes much deeper: It’s a complex form of emotional thinking that is invisible, boundaryless, and enduring. In Drained, Ruppanner outlines the eight distinct types of mental load and highlights what makes them so uniquely heavy for women:

•  Life organization: Staying on top of planning and tasks
•  Emotional support: Checking in on family, friends, and coworkers
•  Relationship hygiene: Maintaining strong social connections
•  Magic making: Carrying on traditions and creating special life moments
•  Dream building: Helping others fulfill their passions and ambitions
•  Individual upkeep: Keeping fit and healthy
•  Safety: Protecting family and loved ones from danger
•  Meta-care: Raising children who will thrive in the future

The heart of the book is the Mental Load Audit, a powerful, practical tool to help readers assess where they are spending their time and attention, and how they can take steps to recalibrate their energy effectively. Urgent and provocative, Drained will help women stop blaming themselves for never feeling like they are enough and help them create richer, less overwhelming lives filled with more meaning and joy.

* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF containing the Appendix from the book.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Parenting

10 pages, Audiobook

First published April 21, 2026

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sociological exploration into the mental load that comes from parenting and is often unbalanced leaving women struggling to keep everything together while pursuing their own dreams and taking care of their families and themselves. Perfect for fans of books like Fair play or Honest motherhood, this book provides useful tools to audit the mental load couples are experiencing and find ways to parent more equitably. Great on audio, this wasn't always that eye-opening but it was comforting to see how other couples are struggling and hear some ways to improve my own mental load. Highly recommended!

[Randi]

I started this under the apparently mistaken idea that it was for all women, not just parents and married couples. I need one of these for neurodivergent or mentally ill folks.

[Gorana B · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s an interesting concept and makes a lot of sense when you go deeper in the subject. I was a little put off by the author’s constant mention of her research. It’s limited to married women with children, even though the author mentions caregivers and single people, there are not enough examples of them and for them.

[Aldora Iruana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sadly I'm not the target audience for this book. But I might come back in the future if I enter into matrimony or parenthood.