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Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion
For more than 30 years, our nation has argued about abortion. In that time, more than 30 million women have had one or more abortions.
While the political battle rages, little has been done to address the emotional needs of those who struggle with the aftermath of an experience that is deeply traumatic and often coerced and unwanted. Instead, social taboos stifle discussion of abortion-related feelings. Women are left feeling isolated, and their recovery is inhibited.
Forbidden Grief is a compelling, haunting review of Dr. Theresa Burke's experience in counseling hundreds of women who have experienced abortion. Dr. Burke exposes the obstacles in the way of post-abortion healing, reviews the full range and depth of post-abortion issues, and illustrates how we can create a more understanding, just and healing society where women will no longer be required to hide their pain.
While the political battle rages, little has been done to address the emotional needs of those who struggle with the aftermath of an experience that is deeply traumatic and often coerced and unwanted. Instead, social taboos stifle discussion of abortion-related feelings. Women are left feeling isolated, and their recovery is inhibited.
Forbidden Grief is a compelling, haunting review of Dr. Theresa Burke's experience in counseling hundreds of women who have experienced abortion. Dr. Burke exposes the obstacles in the way of post-abortion healing, reviews the full range and depth of post-abortion issues, and illustrates how we can create a more understanding, just and healing society where women will no longer be required to hide their pain.
327 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2002
31 people are currently reading
228 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
August 7, 2015
I could not put this book down once I started it.
Every woman–and man who loves a woman–needs to read this book. Every parent, grandparent, person who has young women in his/her family or older women who might be suffering from the after effects of an abortion(s) (no matter what the reason or how long ago it was) needs to read this book. The author, Theresa Burke, MA, PhD, DAPA, NCP, LPC, founder of Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries – the largest post abortion ministry in the world with over 700 retreats held annually worldwide – has written an incredibly well-researched and documented study of how we as a society abandon women who have had abortions.
These women have been victimized by the abortion industry who try to present it as a pregnant woman's only option, by family members who often push(ed) them into hasty, ill-advised decisions, by those in the ‘helping’ professions who have failed (and continue to do so) to recognize abortion for the traumatic experience it is, by Christians who count numbers of dead babies but forget their devastated mothers and by all of us when we put our political view of this issue ahead of the needs of the individual mother(s) and child(ren) – which is usually what happens.
Good intentions by all these groups aside, the lifelong results to millions of women are devastating, not to mention that we are poorer as a nation by millions of lives.
Hundreds of individual testimonies, dozens of case studies/research and yet very readable.
Read this book!
Every woman–and man who loves a woman–needs to read this book. Every parent, grandparent, person who has young women in his/her family or older women who might be suffering from the after effects of an abortion(s) (no matter what the reason or how long ago it was) needs to read this book. The author, Theresa Burke, MA, PhD, DAPA, NCP, LPC, founder of Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries – the largest post abortion ministry in the world with over 700 retreats held annually worldwide – has written an incredibly well-researched and documented study of how we as a society abandon women who have had abortions.
These women have been victimized by the abortion industry who try to present it as a pregnant woman's only option, by family members who often push(ed) them into hasty, ill-advised decisions, by those in the ‘helping’ professions who have failed (and continue to do so) to recognize abortion for the traumatic experience it is, by Christians who count numbers of dead babies but forget their devastated mothers and by all of us when we put our political view of this issue ahead of the needs of the individual mother(s) and child(ren) – which is usually what happens.
Good intentions by all these groups aside, the lifelong results to millions of women are devastating, not to mention that we are poorer as a nation by millions of lives.
Hundreds of individual testimonies, dozens of case studies/research and yet very readable.
Read this book!
January 31, 2009
More people need to read this book and see the evidence that is too strong to be denied. We are killing generations and the consequences will be widespread and profound on all involved.
October 29, 2013
Grief after abortion is neither expected nor permitted in our society, so is the claim of Dr. Theresa Burke, founder of Rachel's Vineyard, a program designed for women suffering from post-abortion trauma to seek emotional and spiritual healing. One who chooses to argue against this point may have difficultly backing it up, considering how post-abortion trauma is rarely discussed in the media, much less in public. An episode of HBO's Sex and the City comes to mind, where one principal character encouraged another to abort an unplanned pregnancy. She cited how she had two of her own, waving off the memory as if recalling a trip to the dentist.
The real world is not always this accurate, and few support groups, if any, match the mission statement of Rachel's Vineyard. Abortion, as one faction would have people believe, is supposed to provide "relief, not grief," writes Burke, though this does mean a woman will not experience grief or loss following an abortion. The grief, despite the pro-choice movement's determination to soften the edges of the procedure, is real, and the pain of post-abortion women recorded by Dr. Burke in Forbidden Grief reflects but a fraction of the emotional trauma a woman can suffer, as if mourning the loss of a child brought to term.
Forbidden Grief is a compassionate book, a survey of why women choose to terminate pregnancies and why they do not feel better for having done so when they were led to believe otherwise. The book is not necessarily an argument against abortion, nor are Dr. Burke's subjects berated for having made the choice to abort. Dr. Burke's book serves to examine the various cause and effect processes involved in abortion, and to inform readers that emotional support can be had without bias.
There is Tina, so obsessed with pregnancy after her abortion that she tried to compensate for the loss by fashioning a towel under her dress to give the impression that she was expecting. Barbara, having undergone three abortions, purposely became obese to the point that she could no longer walk as a method of self-punishment. There are others, some who experienced abortions in the double digits, all of whom acted out their pain in different ways. Some baffled friends and relatives with their behavior, and others chose to withdraw from the world, but all shared a common thread aside from abortion: they came to Dr. Burke for help.
Dr. Burke writes that "healing can only happen when...one's story is revealed to others who do not seek to judge or condemn." Forbidden Grief is not a how-to healing manual for post-abortive women, but it is a valuable tool in helping everyone -- regardless of whether or not they have had an abortion -- understand that post-abortion trauma is real and as such should be treated as a legitimate problem. One would not tell an alcoholic or a compulsive gambler to just "get over it," people with these problems would be encourage to seek professional help. So, Dr. Burke reasons, should any woman or man affected adversely by abortion, and it is this reasoning and Dr. Burke's desire to make this type of trauma known that makes Forbidden Grief a welcome resource.
The real world is not always this accurate, and few support groups, if any, match the mission statement of Rachel's Vineyard. Abortion, as one faction would have people believe, is supposed to provide "relief, not grief," writes Burke, though this does mean a woman will not experience grief or loss following an abortion. The grief, despite the pro-choice movement's determination to soften the edges of the procedure, is real, and the pain of post-abortion women recorded by Dr. Burke in Forbidden Grief reflects but a fraction of the emotional trauma a woman can suffer, as if mourning the loss of a child brought to term.
Forbidden Grief is a compassionate book, a survey of why women choose to terminate pregnancies and why they do not feel better for having done so when they were led to believe otherwise. The book is not necessarily an argument against abortion, nor are Dr. Burke's subjects berated for having made the choice to abort. Dr. Burke's book serves to examine the various cause and effect processes involved in abortion, and to inform readers that emotional support can be had without bias.
There is Tina, so obsessed with pregnancy after her abortion that she tried to compensate for the loss by fashioning a towel under her dress to give the impression that she was expecting. Barbara, having undergone three abortions, purposely became obese to the point that she could no longer walk as a method of self-punishment. There are others, some who experienced abortions in the double digits, all of whom acted out their pain in different ways. Some baffled friends and relatives with their behavior, and others chose to withdraw from the world, but all shared a common thread aside from abortion: they came to Dr. Burke for help.
Dr. Burke writes that "healing can only happen when...one's story is revealed to others who do not seek to judge or condemn." Forbidden Grief is not a how-to healing manual for post-abortive women, but it is a valuable tool in helping everyone -- regardless of whether or not they have had an abortion -- understand that post-abortion trauma is real and as such should be treated as a legitimate problem. One would not tell an alcoholic or a compulsive gambler to just "get over it," people with these problems would be encourage to seek professional help. So, Dr. Burke reasons, should any woman or man affected adversely by abortion, and it is this reasoning and Dr. Burke's desire to make this type of trauma known that makes Forbidden Grief a welcome resource.
July 16, 2015
Powerful and heartbreaking this book tells the stories of women who regretted their abortions, with insights from the counselor as to the types of negative reactions to abortion and the way people respond to having them. Focuses solely on the women. This book really helped me understand post-abortion trauma. I am glad the women in the book were healed after going on retreats and receiving counseling.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews