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Father Loss: Daughters Discuss Life, Love, and Why Losing a Dad Means So Much
As Elyce Wakerman found in the scores of interviews she conducted, the loss of a father— through death, divorce, or abandonment—is the event that shapes a girl’s life and all her future relationships. “In my fantasy,” one woman commented, “he remains the perfect, all-giving man”—a difficult role for any other man to fill. Based partly on the author’s experience, partly on her in-depth interviews, and partly on a questionnaire she developed with psychologist Holly Barrett to which almost six hundred women responded, Father Loss provides the clearest portrait yet of a very special group of women.
As a group, they express their insecurities (“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to love a man totally . . . because that would mean I didn’t love my father anymore.” —Leslie). Yet individually, many have become outstanding achievers, including Eleanor Roosevelt (“He dominated my life as long as he lived and was the love of my life for years after he died.”), Helen Gurney Brown (“People in business, my bosses, I look to them all as fathers.”), Barbara Streisand, Gloria Steinem, Geraldine Ferraro and many others.
A bestseller when it was first published twenty-five years ago and now updated and revised, Father Loss gives information and insight to fatherless daughters, to widows and divorcees with daughters, and to every father who needs to understand the vital role he plays in his daughter’s life—as the first man she ever loves.
As a group, they express their insecurities (“Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to love a man totally . . . because that would mean I didn’t love my father anymore.” —Leslie). Yet individually, many have become outstanding achievers, including Eleanor Roosevelt (“He dominated my life as long as he lived and was the love of my life for years after he died.”), Helen Gurney Brown (“People in business, my bosses, I look to them all as fathers.”), Barbara Streisand, Gloria Steinem, Geraldine Ferraro and many others.
A bestseller when it was first published twenty-five years ago and now updated and revised, Father Loss gives information and insight to fatherless daughters, to widows and divorcees with daughters, and to every father who needs to understand the vital role he plays in his daughter’s life—as the first man she ever loves.
360 pages, Paperback
First published October 2, 1984
40 people are currently reading
149 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 20, 2009
If you've lost your father through death, divorce, or abandonment, you should read this book. You might think you're hunky-dory and the experience didn't really affect you, but you would have to be inhuman to not be affected by such an experience.
April 14, 2014
It was ok. A pretty good and slightly comforting to read as a Daddy-less girl. It wasn't as eye-opening or informative as I'd hoped it would be though.
October 31, 2024
So it took me 13 hours and 35 minutes to read this (it seem I’ve had a busy October). At first, I didn’t realize that the book was so old. I think an updated study would be important to do. As divorce rates have grown, is it still okay for the child to miss either parent? Society is different, does that help or hurt? I think the novel was repetitive and droned on without muc change in pace. If you’re going to write a non-fiction book, please write it well so that I have the energy to read it.
August 23, 2025
My dad died when I was 13. I had no idea how to process that. 20 years later, I read this book, journaling and crying my way through it. It changed me. 30 years later, I don't remember much of the detail of this book, but I will never forget that experience.
November 28, 2022
Thank you!
October 14, 2023
Being a natural born empath, I have known fatherless daughters all my adult life, have seen the sorrow in their faces and the empty space in their personalities. I have always wondered how so much pain could affect a psyche and how it could be healed. Read this book over the Bank Holiday weekend and it made me cry once, not twice but thrice and I am usually a very restrained person. Life is not easy nor is it fair.
"Father Loss" explores the impact of losing a father, especially during childhood or adolescence. The book is a combination of personal memoirs and interviews with other individuals who have experienced father loss.
Wakerman begins the book by sharing her own story of losing her father at the age of 15. She describes how his sudden death affected her emotionally, physically, and socially. She then goes on to explore the different ways in which father loss can impact a person's life, including their relationships, career, and sense of identity.
Throughout the book, Wakerman also shares the stories of other individuals who have experienced father loss. She interviews men and women of different ages, backgrounds, and cultures, and explores how their experiences of loss have affected their lives in unique ways.
In addition to sharing personal stories, Wakerman also provides insight into the psychological and societal factors that contribute to the impact of father loss. She discusses the importance of a father's role in a child's life, and how losing a father can affect a person's sense of self-worth and ability to form healthy relationships.
Overall, "Father Loss" is a poignant and insightful exploration of the lasting impact of losing a father. It offers comfort and validation to those who have experienced this type of loss, while also providing valuable information for mental health professionals, educators, and others who work with individuals who have experienced father loss.
"Father Loss" explores the impact of losing a father, especially during childhood or adolescence. The book is a combination of personal memoirs and interviews with other individuals who have experienced father loss.
Wakerman begins the book by sharing her own story of losing her father at the age of 15. She describes how his sudden death affected her emotionally, physically, and socially. She then goes on to explore the different ways in which father loss can impact a person's life, including their relationships, career, and sense of identity.
Throughout the book, Wakerman also shares the stories of other individuals who have experienced father loss. She interviews men and women of different ages, backgrounds, and cultures, and explores how their experiences of loss have affected their lives in unique ways.
In addition to sharing personal stories, Wakerman also provides insight into the psychological and societal factors that contribute to the impact of father loss. She discusses the importance of a father's role in a child's life, and how losing a father can affect a person's sense of self-worth and ability to form healthy relationships.
Overall, "Father Loss" is a poignant and insightful exploration of the lasting impact of losing a father. It offers comfort and validation to those who have experienced this type of loss, while also providing valuable information for mental health professionals, educators, and others who work with individuals who have experienced father loss.
December 12, 2016
Very well written. It touches almost all the aspects of the issue and elaborates it with a language that is accessible and easy to understand for everyone. I would recommend this book to all women who have lost a father, but also to those who have someone close who suffered such a big loss. This book makes it easier to understand what they went through.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews