Grief Undone: A Journey with God and Cancer

by Elizabeth W.D. Groves

"Grief Undone" is the breathtakingly honest, yet hopeful account of how Elizabeth (Libbie) and Al Groves walked with God through Al s terminal cancer. Their true story saturated with in-the-moment Scriptural reflections, blogs, and fervent prayers paints a stunning picture of how faith transforms the human experience of suffering.

But "Grief Undone" is more than the chronicle of one family s courage in the face of cancer. At its core, "Grief Undone" tells a story about the God who is with his people through each and every circumstance in life. Evangelistic in impact, though not in tone, "Grief Undone" will inevitably display the beauty of Christ s sustaining love for his people through trials that seemed too hard to bear. Though grief threatens to undo us, we find that we are not destroyed, but sustained by God s presence.

Story-driven and real, "Grief Undone" avoids the usual traps of being preachy, gratuitous, or dismissive in the face of suffering and grief. Modeling rather than teaching about healthy and God-honoring grief, Grief Undone is uniquely practical for those who are grieving as well as the pastors, counselors, and friends who seek to help them.

Genres: Grief, Faith, Memoir, Counselling, Religion, Christian, Theology

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 16, 2015

About the author

Elizabeth W. D. Groves, MAR, teaches Hebrew at Westminster Theological Seminary and is the author of the minibook Becoming a Widow: The Ache of Missing Your Other Half. She has four children, who were ages thirteen and up when her husband Al died in 2007, and two granddaughters born after his death.

Reviews

[Wayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for everyone who has experience the grieving of the loss of a loved one. This book was about a woman and her family losing her husband. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer about a year before he passed away. Those circumstances were different than mine and our family. My wife died 11 days after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But the grieving process described in this book are acute and very familiar to what I and my family are going through. When I think back to our happy times together the tears flow. But when I think of the peace and excitement Mary has seeing her relatives and being and worshipping with the Lord I find peace.

[Letitia Newland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never Alone

This story of facing one of the toughest times of life - the death of a loved one - is told with such honesty and transparency that we can see God’s love in every step along the way. A beautiful reminder of the fact that His children are NEVER alone!

[Protim Adhikari · Rating 5 out of 5]

It must be said; this book's author is the most imitable person I've ever met. Hence, while my comments are an attempt to objectively summarize the form and content of Mrs. Elizabeth "Libbie" Groves' memoir, they come with the emotion of walking through her well-crafted story of loss and recovery, grief and hope. Here goes.

Regarding form, Groves takes readers through seven consecutive seasons of her family’s life. To do so, she packs two hundred-eight pages into eighty-nine chapters. Consider this an intentional act of service for grieving readers that may lack the emotional capacity for more than 2-3 pages at a time. Regarding content, the book’s opening chapter segues to the main story. As the author writes, “The new chapter—the solo widow and fatherless children chapter—begins.” The body of the book is that "chapter", the story of how the Groves family lives with an inaugurated sense of Al’s end.

On the one hand, Groves fills the book with the family's everyday relationships, responsibilities, and peccadilloes and does not bypass these to “get to God.” On the other hand, like a lament psalm, this book is eager to point its story to the God who escorts his people through life's glories and horrors. It captures the dark calling of believers caught up in the grief-gospel tension. As Groves has put it elsewhere, “Grief is very real. It is painful. It can be overwhelming and life-dominating…But, the hope that we have in God because of Jesus’ defeat of death is also very real, overwhelming, and life-dominating.” No wonder each page gives rise to groans and amen's alike.

With pain, beauty, and honesty throughout, Groves reveals---and summons---an emotionally-intelligent, Christian trust and God-honoring grief. Simply put, I cannot commend such virtues or this book's author enough. Perhaps this is why I have personally handed out over twenty copies of Grief Undone over the last two years...and I expect more to follow.

[Mikejencostanzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Facing a spouse's death is undeniably difficult. Yet, among resources on grief, death & loss, "Grief Undone" is my 100% top go-to. It offers a holistic journey with the Groves family as they navigate saying goodbye to husband & father, Al Groves, following his cancer diagnosis. Through his wife Elizabeth's eyes, we experience the raw emotions of grief, alongside the family's insights, including Al's own.

The book masterfully tackles the complex tension between profound grief and the unwavering hope in Christ Jesus. This book has become a treasured resource for me—I own multiple copies, both for rereading myself and for recommending to friends experiencing the loss of a spouse.

~Jen

[Sharon Hughson · Rating 4 out of 5]

As with other books on grief I've read, it was difficult to get through this book because of the emotional entanglements I carried with me. Still, it had some unique insights and earns 4.3 out of 5 stars.
The writing style here didn't pull me in as a story would, so it was easy enough to stop at the end of a chapter. Sometimes I needed to put it down and digest the truths presented and let my own pain soak in their salve.
An excellent book for widows and those who minister to them, but it felt very specific to that loss.

[Kristine J Beane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gives me hope

Reading this book was just what I needed as I face the imminent death of my mother. I know our journeys are each different but knowing I will not not be alone in the mist of the darkness that is descending.
Thank you Lord for having the grace to place this book in my hands at the right time.

[Deborah Knox · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful, emotional, endearing, God honoring book. It means that much more to me because I know the author personally and one of her sons who she mentions often in the book. Highly recommend for anyone but especially someone going through or experiencing the loss of a loved one

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very encouraging account of one family who relied and is relying on Jesus through the challenges of an early death of a father and husband.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first four pages in this books were comments of admiration for the great job Elizabeth Groves did in writing this book. I would have to agree. Some of the quotes were inside out look at a real working faith, soul food at the finest, and a honest and moving account of the joys and regrets of care of a husband with cancer. Both Elizabeth and her husband Al were teachers at the Westminster Theological Seminary. Elizabeth had 4 children ages 13 and up to 23 when Al died in 2007 of a malignant melanoma. The material in the book is drawn from materials on a blog that Al and Elizabeth kept on www.algroves.info
89 separate entries comprise this heartfelt book, each with a separate title and only 2 to 3 pages long. The reflections were poignant reflections of the moods, feelings and sentiments of all of the family members. I have read a lot of book on grief and this one is the absolutely best one I have ever read. Nothing but honest, pure thoughts and emotions.

Not a lot of Bible verses but just the underlying thought that God is with you no matter what dark valleys you travel through and he will allow you to live each day and not worry about tomorrow if you let him. It is a love story of a marriage we all would wish to have, a living witness. One of the interesting passages in the book was an examination of Psalm 22 and 23. Often we look at Psalm 23 without reading Psalm 22 as part of the big picture. It was a truly beautiful book of a beautiful life and passage through death into life afterwards… Well done.

[Jeff Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not know Al Groves, though had the privilege of knowing the author of this book, his wife Libbie, while studying Hebrew at Westminster. Al passed away during my first week of classes, though he lived on in the stories of him, his pastoral heart, and his insights into scripture which were continually shared during my time as a student. This book tells the story of Al, Libbie, and their family as they came to grips with Al's cancer diagnosis and spend their final year together. It recounts God's faithfulness and goodness in the course of that year and the comfort of knowing Jesus in his death and resurrection. Sadness, grief, joy, and hope are all on display. The book is very well-written and the chapters are all under 5 pages. I picked it up one day thinking I would just read the first few chapters, but didn't put it down until I was through 100 pages.

[Dean · Rating 5 out of 5]

For a fuller review, see http://exegeticaltools.com/2015/05/07...

I've had the privilege of learning Hebrew from the author at Westminster Seminary. What an excellent book. I heartily recommend it to everyone, especially those who are currently dealing with grief or walking alongside those currently dealing with grief. Unless Jesus comes back soon, everyone of us will eventually deal with grief and death if we haven't already.

This book never minimizes the reality of pain and grief, but it always situates it in the proper context of faith, recognizing the triumphant removal of the sting of death by Christ. The hope of the Gospel is evident in every page without ever being glib or cliche (or if it is cliche, the reader doesn't mind...some things are simply true consistently, for God is consistent).

[Nellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good book about dealing with grief. The author's husband, Al, had skin cancer that spread. They new the odds were death. They had about a year to prepare for this reality.

The book is sad but full of hope as well. When you know the Lord, you can face the prospect if death with hope. Hope because you know where the person is going. Hope because you know that one day you will be reunited provided that you know the Lord as well.

The book also tells how the tire family coped and survived. The couple had 4 children. The youngest ones were in middle school and high school when their father died.

I heartedly recommend this book for those who have experienced a loved one die.

[Annah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was recommended to me by a friend who describes Groves as "the most imitable person" he knows; that endorsement was enough for me to want to read it. Groves walks the reader slowly and thoughtfully through her family's experience of her husband's cancer diagnosis and death, offering a personal window into their struggle and sorrow, and the Hope she held onto throughout. Keeping in mind that readers might be grieving themselves, it's written in short and simple chapters and doesn't balk at vulnerability. Recommended for those needing to walk through, not around, grief.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for those dealing with terminal illness. It is honest, filled with excerpts from Elizabeth's husband's journal and how they walked through the valley of sorrow and death with love and even joy.

[Kyle Oliphint · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely wonderful! Libby Groves shares her heart as she shares her grief and, most incredibly, the Lord's sustaining grace throughout it all.
Pick it up and read it.

[Rob Sabin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A honest and wonderful account of the amazing last days of Al on this part of his life journey. I appreciate the struggles being revealed. A worthwhile read.