Hands Free Life: 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, and Loving More

by Rachel Macy Stafford

We all yearn to look back to find we lived a life of significance. But is it even possible anymore? Considering the amount of distraction and pressure that exists in society today, living a fulfilling life may seem like an unachievable dream. But it is not--not with the nine habits outlined in this book.

New York Times bestselling author and widely known blogger, Rachel Macy Stafford, reveals nine habits that help you focus on investing in the most significant parts of your life. As your hands, heart, and eyes become open, you will experience a new sense of urgency--an urgency to live, love, dream, connect, create, forgive, and flourish despite the distractions of our culture. By following each daily Hands Free Declaration, you will be inspired to adopt mindful daily practices and new thought-processes that will help

- Make meaningful, lasting human connections despite the busyness of everyday life.

- Live in the now despite that inner nudge pushing you out of the moment toward perfection and productivity.

- Protect your most sacred relationships, as well as your values, beliefs, health, and happiness, despite the latent dangers of technology and social media.

- Pursue the passions of your heart without sacrificing your job or your daily responsibilities.

- Evaluate your daily choices to insure you are investing in a life that matters to you.

With a Hands Free Life perspective, you will have the power to look back and see you didn't just manage life, you actually lived it--and lived it well.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Self Help, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Inspirational, Christian

215 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 8, 2015

About the author

Nine years ago, Rachel Macy Stafford admitted the honest answer to the question that had been a long-time source of pride: "How do you do it all?" Rachel's answer was painfully simple: "I miss out on life, and what I miss I cannot get back." That very day, Rachel began her Hands Free journey to let go of distraction, perfection, and societal pressure to grasp what really matters in life. This life-long writer and certified special education teacher felt compelled to share her journey with others through the blog, "Hands Free Mama." Using her skills as a writer, teacher, and encourager, Rachel provides readers with simple, non-intimidating, and motivating methods to let go of distraction and connect with their loved ones. Rachel's work has been featured in USA Today, TIME.com, MSN.com, PBS.com, The Huffington Post, Reader's Digest, and hundreds of other online and print publications. Her blog currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel loves being outdoors, baking, and volunteering with her family who inspire her daily.

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ask anyone today how they are, and the answer you’re most likely to get is “busy”. This is especially true for mothers with children still at home – the target audience for Rachel Macy Stafford’s new book, “Hands Free Life”. Stafford is another in a long line of authors with a “stop and smell the roses” message as an antidote to today’s harried pace of life.

Stafford is the writer of a popular blog, Hands Free Mama. She’s a good writer, and her message resonates with this busy mom. As someone who has read both the blog and the book, I think her blog is a better vehicle for her message. Her delivery is better in shorter, anecdotal blocks. The book, while genuine, is long on platitudes and short on practical advice. It tells us what we all inherently know, without offering any “Aha!” lightbulb moments.

2.5 stars rounded up to 3.

Thank you to NetGalley and Zondervan for a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Kris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Apparently, without kids I can't live better. The whole book can be summed up with "notice your children every once in awhile".

[Kitty · Rating 1 out of 5]

My biggest problem with this book, is business leading title and description. The book is really all about not leading a distracting life with your children. The focus is entirely on her personal experiences with raising her children, and trying to live in the moment. There isn't any concrete action plan either, just a long set of stories with her internal monologue encouraging you to not be distracted in your life while your children are growing up.

[scc101 · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a happily single, atheist, and child-free woman, I am not the target demographic for this book. There may have been valuable concepts in the book that were applicable to a wider audience, but the presentation didn't leave room for others with experiences that were different than the author's.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I feel like it's one of those rare gems in the self-help(ish) genre that is not only beautifully written, but full of practical life changing advice that readers can incorporate into their lives immediately. I know that's how it worked for me.

Every day I'd wake up and read a little with my morning coffee, for as long as life would allow, and I felt the words sinking into my mind, and shifting the way I had seen things previously. There is so much wisdom in her habits and practices, and it only takes a conscious decision on the part of the reader to shift away from distraction and into the heart of presence. I am so grateful to Rachel Macy Stafford for putting into words what was worrying my heart, and giving me a way to help me find my way back to what really matters.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was the weary mom at the beginning of this book. I was the one who remembered a joyful spirit-filled reputation that I use to have. But I had lost it somewhere along the way. This book not only spoke truth into my weary bones but gave me breath again to try each moment. I flew through it and know I’ll come back to it in another year or so. Meanwhile, I plan to write the nine habits down all over my house until they become natural to me. Just today I know I found several more moments of joy than if I hadn’t read this. Thank you a million times over. You saved another starfish again Rachel.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Rachel Macy Stafford. She speaks her truth in a compassionate way, I always feel inspired and supported, not judged. All our lives would be better with a little more of her heart and habits in them. I like that she highlights small habits that anyone can integrate into a busy life. "Hands Free Mama" and "Hands Free Life" might be all anyone is getting from me for Christmas.

[Katrina Willis · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Hands Free Life, Rachel describes her daughter, Avery, as “The Noticer” and tells poignant tales of how Avery reminds her to stop and really see the beauty of the world. Like Rachel’s violin-playing days, that lesson might have needed a little dusting off, but I truly believe that seeing — really seeing — is Rachel’s most profound gift.

She sees lessons in the every day, she sees stories in unspoken words, she sees beauty in the broken. And not only does she see it, but with the power of her words, she helps the rest of us see it, too -- no matter what stage of life we're currently experiencing. Sometimes the lessons are hard to look at, sometimes they’re not what we hoped they might be, but she illuminates them for us with grace and kindness and empathy.

She is the living, breathing embodiment of her own Habit 9: Change Someone’s Story. If you’ve read many of Rachel’s words, I imagine you can’t help but agree… because she’s most likely changed parts of your story as well. As she defines her own personal Hands Free journey, she's simultaneously engaging the rest of us in a new and refreshing conversation around embracing what matters most in life.

[Ann Warren · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually hated this book. Instead of getting any actual takeaways I got a collection of stories about her children and a lot of flowery writing I did not connect with. Painful.

[Laura Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I have read a couple other books by Rachel Macy Stafford and her writing is always so beautiful! I find her words encouraging and her message rare and different then what you might hear from others in this world. Slow down, listen, laugh, be present. Don’t be so focused on production but notice the things that truly matter. This is how I want to live and this is a book I will reread time and time again.

[Gabby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been following this author for awhile on Facebook and have really found a lot of her posts have resonated with me. So, I finally decided to pick up one of her books. I’m so glad I did!

This book is filled with wonderful nuggets of wisdom regarding living a hands-free life, being in the moment and noticing things around oneself.

I feel a little sad at some of the bad reviews that focused on the fact that this author came across a lot of her epiphanies through her children and implied that if one doesn’t personally have children you have nothing to learn from this book. Not true!

I don’t have children and found a lot of the truths mentioned in this book are things that I could see lacking in my life and ways to improve them. While her experiences and stories focused mainly on her children, she did talk about other people.

I saw past the specifics of her children and thought about how I could improve things in my life, with family, coworkers, and friends. It’s about learning to step away from ourselves and focus on the world around us.

And the author does give exercises to achieve the 9 items she sets out in the subtitle of the book.

This book gave me a lot to think about and really touched me. It showed me how I could improve by taking even the smallest of actions. And that’s how we better ourselves. It’s not through the big things we do, but the small changes we make that become habits.

I found myself highlighting quite a few things. However, I borrowed this ebook from the library, which means I neee to get this book for myself. It’s one I can see referencing often in my life, if I so choose.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really refreshing God- and family-centered read. Every now and then, I need to be reminded not to compare my life and family to others and to focus on what matters most: what’s right in front of me. I am also taking steps to slow down and back away from social media. This was a nudge in the right direction.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars ⭐⭐⭐ I read this book with my dad at his suggestion. I had never heard of the book or the author but I have since learned she is a fellow Hoosier and has a successful blog documenting her journey as a "Hands Free Mama".

There were many parts of the book I underlined as great reminders to eliminate distractions from daily life in order to protect and invest in the significant relationships in your life. The author focused mainly on the relationships with her young daughters so while I think anyone could read this and glean wisdom it would be especially easy to relate to as a parent. Looking at my notes I found the most relatable information in the first half of the book and felt the second half was a little redundant with personal stories and anecdotes. Overall, this is a resourceful, comforting book with bits of applicable information useful to living out a meaningful, simplified life as a parent on a mission to truly know and invest in your children.

[᠂ ⚘ Sara Danee ⚘᠂ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️ I’ve had this book for a very long time and kept putting off reading it because I knew I wasn’t ready to implement the things the book may talk about. Today is day 30 of me taking time away from social media and truly being more present and I have to say, I don’t want to go back. This book was exactly what I needed to reinforce those feelings and served as a great reminder to be more kind, patient, understanding, and to consider how you make others feel by your actions and inactions. This is one to keep and re-read every once in a while to remind yourself of what’s truly important in life. ♥️

[Savannah Hendricks]

This was a DNF for me, I don't have kids and the book, although the blurb mentioned nothing about moms, is all the author discusses in the 9 habits. Unless you have kids, this book is, sadly, not helpful.

[Deidra · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Helpful messages...important reminders.

[Jordan Austin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book, particularly during the time that I decided to read it for myself. I’m not sure how well I would have enjoyed this book earlier in my life, but this book really helped me during a time when I needed it most. And for that, it deserves three stars at the least. I will say, the author wrote a lot concerning her children, which is fine, though I cannot relate as well as I’d like to seeming I don’t have children. The majority of the book revolves around being a mother, and again, that’s not exactly what I expected. This is why I will probably give it a 3.5 stars— otherwise I’d say it came close to a 4. Still, it was good 👍

[Jon Barr · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main idea here is to be more present, more mindful in your interactions with your loved ones. I appreciated that teaching and can apply it to my life.

But the number of stories that ended with the author crying was distracting. If my mother had cried in front of me as often as the author cries in front of her children, I would have grown up afraid to be in the same room as her.

[Jillian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have enjoyed it more if I had kids, I think. The true subscript on this book should have been "9 lessons I learned from my daughters". Sidenote: also skip the audible program. The reader was overly emotional in her performance.

[Emma Sea]

library ebook

[Don Blackwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every now and then a Knowing Heart appears on the literary landscape - someone with a life-altering and life-affirming message borne of their own mistakes and missteps, who has the courage to lay their soul bare gracefully, honestly and insightfully, so that others might have the freedom and be inspired to lay down their own shame and guilt and pick up hope instead. Racy Macy Stafford is one of those rare individuals and, thankfully, she’s at it again in her new book, “Hands Free Life – 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better & Loving More”. Candidly, it couldn’t possibly have come at a better time. On some level, I think all of us recognize the many distractions that are such an integral part of our daily personal, family and work lives. What is far less obvious, however, is the impact our “distractedness” is having on us and on those we love, let alone how to disconnect in ways that will make room in our hearts and in our lives for the people and experiences that matter most. Who better to hold our hand on that journey than someone who has “been there, done that” and developed thoughtful and thought-provoking strategies for embracing a more Hands Free Life? Best of all, Rachel’s “habits” are practical and accessible. I can’t recommend this engaging book any more fervently, especially to moms AND DADS. It’s simply the greatest gift you may ever give yourself - and your children.

[Aubrey · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise of this book, to live a life with less distraction and more love, is something I aspire to, and I was looking forward to some inspiration and tools to get there. However, I was disappointed in this book as it was heavy on poetry and lists of “Today I will…” and light on practical applications. There were a few ideas I appreciated such as creating boundaries around what news and information we allow in, and requiring kindness and respect among siblings.

Overall though, there were many more pages filled with confusing stories: she retells finding a very sweet and positive speech in her daughter’s backpack, but instead of crying with joy or pride at her daughter’s confidence and spirit (an idea she doesn’t mention), she says she wept for all of the little boys and girls and mothers that…. and has a long, tragic list that follows. Her recollections seemed embellished with very little substance, and with a few exceptions the book lacked authenticity or humility. The author makes frequent claims of just making a choice one day and forever being changed. Because of this, I found it hard to connect with the message.

Thank you to Zondervan and NetGalley for allowing me to read a digital copy of this book.

[Bill Peebles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel Macy Stafford has written another important book here. With practical advice and tool after tool to help you drag your eyes up from the device in front of you and out and into the eyes of those that truly matter - kids, spouses, clerks, teachers, garbage men - this book will help you through that difficult but transforming process. It shows you what actions you can take, not just principles and jargon, but real, implementable tasks that can help you change your life.
But that's not what I want to tell you about her book. No... Rachel is a poet and a storyteller. She is empathetic and so very loving. Her stories will stay with you because of their detail and honesty. She pauses often in these stories and her prose passes to poetry with a meter and tone that is simply unforgettable.
Hands Free Life can, and will, help you overcome distraction in this crazy digital world, but, more-so, it can illuminate a life of "living better and loving more," mostly because you know the lovely author does. Sometimes books shimmer and this one does, because Rachel does. It is a hug from an encouraging and loving friend.

[JEM · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2014 Rachel Macy Stafford gave us "Hands Free Mama" - the story and inspiration of how she went from being distracted, busy and overwhelmed to become someone who learned to live a more intentional, less "device filled" life, savoring and taking delight in every moment with her family.

"Hands Free Life" is the perfect follow up to the first book, it is more of a "how to" in terms of living a "hands free" life. Stafford takes us through 9 habits to help us live a more intentional, full life, connected to people instead of devices. The practical advice is both encouraging and challenging and along with stories from the authors life, provides plenty of inspiration.

The message of this book, like the first book, is timely - as social media is on the rise, I believe people genuinely find it harder to connect "in real life" and yet it is what we all crave - real, honest face to face relationships. I love the message and voice that Stafford is bringing to the 21st century and I hope it reaches far, wide and most of of all deep into our souls.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC

[Kristin Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I love about Hands Free Life is that it embraces kindness and empathy, both toward others and yourself. I could pick up this book any day of the week and find a section that will make me feel there is something I can do to make my life better simply by slowing down and listening. Rachel’s sweet nature shines through, and the advice she gave me about my own doubts is something she believes herself. In this book, Rachel offers real ideas anyone can enact to find the sweet spot in their own lives.

Hands Free Life is not just about overcoming distraction and focusing on the most important parts of your life. It’s a guidebook for happiness: how to find it in your own life and how to spread it to others. When I am no longer here on earth, I want people to remember that the kindness I exhibited changed lives and that I could be authentically myself and show people that I care about them, one at a time.

[Jessica Powell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't terrible by any means, but I wasn't all that impressed with it. There are some good principles, yes, but not a lot of substantial support behind each one. Basically, the entire book is focused on the author's life. It feels like a message of "look at how I live my life and copy me". I'm sure that's not actually her heart, but the support for every one of her points are examples from her own parenting. There's no research support, not even any scriptural support.

I also found the whole thing to be fairly obvious. Maybe if you are an extreme perfectionist who is completely missing out on your family, this book might be a good wake up call, but I feel that for the average parent it's just a reminder to keep doing things you're already doing. Or maybe to do them more often. It isn't any new information though.

[Papa Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Hands Free Life, I began to understand myself better. Her poetic, philosophical, spiritual, and above all, inspirational writing reminds me of Kahil Gibran's masterpiece, The Prophet. But Stafford is also a contemporary Maria Montessori. Perhaps, a beautiful blend of the two.

The shining heroines of the book, in my opinion, are Stafford's two young daughters. They are the inspiration for Stafford's transformation from harried to loving, from distracted to attentive, from micromanaging mom and adult to trustful parent and global citizen.

Papa Green Bean (John S Green)

For my full review of Hands Free Life, please go to my blog at papagreenbean.blogspot.com

[Galit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful book reflects and instructs on nine habits for overcoming distraction, living better, and loving more. It’s every bit as inspiring as Stafford's first book and site by the same name, Hands Free Mama. I’ve found every single word to be a gem to take in and to use as a guiding light. It’s truly a welcome breath of fresh air for all of us trying to live a beautiful life within the reality of how busy our day to day is making this goal trickier to achieve than it seems like it should be. Highly recommend.

[Marilyn Price-Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Screen time is an issue for every 21st century family! Rachel Macy Stafford shows how small changes in how we manage our digital lives have big impacts on children's development. It's not about giving up technology -- it's about using it wisely. Read this beautiful article by Rachel, "Managing Screen Time Increases Family Joy:" http://www.rootsofaction.com/screen-t... And then, go buy the book!

[Katie Hurley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Rachel's focus on slowing down, establishing meaningful connections and finding the good. In a high-pressure, busy society we tend to get stuck on the negative - we look for the flaws to determine what needs fixing. Rachel helps us step back and focus on what is right in an effort to help us lead happier, more fulfilled lives.

Katie Hurley, LCSW
Author, The Happy Kid Handbook