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Goodbye Paradise: Hello Goodbye, Book 1

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The heart wants what it wants...

My life is a carefully constructed lie. I’m in love with my best friend, but the way I feel could get us both killed. So as long as we stay here on the dusty ranch, I can never tell him how I feel. And if we leave, we’ll have nothing but the shirts on our backs.

But when Josh is accused of a crime he didn’t commit, fate forces my hand. I steal him away, where it’s just the two of us against the world. I will do anything to keep him safe. I’ll steal. I’ll fight. I’ll tell lies.

Yet I can’t tell Josh how I feel.

I can’t tell him that this is all my fault.

And kissing him in the back of a stranger’s truck wasn’t exactly part of the plan…

an M/M romance full of awkward confessions, first times, impossible choices, and some world class groveling.

Audible Audio

Published May 4, 2026

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About the author

Sarina Bowen

109 books19.7k followers
sarina bowen

Sarina Bowen is the 24-time USA Today bestselling and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of contemporary fiction, including: The Five Year Lie, the True North series, and the Brooklyn Hockey series. She's the co-author of Him/Us and the WAGs series with Elle Kennedy. And more!


You can find a complete reading order list of Sarina's books on her website. Or see what's coming next from Sarina, and sign up for her newsletter so you don't miss a new book or a deal.

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5 stars
28 (24%)
4 stars
53 (46%)
3 stars
25 (22%)
2 stars
6 (5%)
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
Profile Image for Nahal TC.
384 reviews3 followers
May 31, 2026
🌾 Pure Hearts, New Beginnings & Escaping Paradise 🌾

Narrated by Teddy Hamilton & Dake Bliss

Goodbye Paradise was another reminder of why I love Sarina Bowen’s MM romances so much. What made this one stand out, though, was how different it felt from her more well-known hockey romances. There are no professional athletes, no glamorous lifestyles, and no over-the-top drama here. Instead, this is a deeply emotional story about survival, freedom, healing, and first love.

Caleb and Josh grew up their entire lives in a religious cult where virtually everything considered normal in the outside world was labeled a sin—except, ironically, polygamy. The conditions they endured inside the compound were devastating and heartbreaking to witness. That made it all the more satisfying when Josh was cast out and Caleb risked everything to escape and find him.

These two absolutely broke my heart.

Both Caleb and Josh, as individuals and as a couple, were incredibly pure, authentic, humble, and earnest. Watching them discover the simplest joys of everyday life felt beautiful and meaningful. Things most people take for granted became moments of wonder and gratitude for them, and that innocence gave the story so much heart.

Josh was undoubtedly the standout character for me. The shy, wounded young man who believed he wasn’t worthy of love or happiness. The boy who had spent his entire life being told what to think, what to feel, and who wasn’t even allowed to acknowledge his feelings for Caleb. He never swore, rarely stood up for himself, and carried so much self-doubt.

Seeing his transformation was incredibly rewarding.

Watching him slowly find joy, purpose, and confidence—discovering his talents with children, farming, and animals—was beautiful. And honestly? His eventual rage-fueled outburst, where he finally stopped staying quiet, stood up for himself, and even started swearing, was one of the most satisfying moments in the entire book.

Caleb doesn’t experience quite as dramatic a character arc because he begins the story in a stronger emotional place. However, his courage, loyalty, and fierce protectiveness were essential. Without Caleb’s determination and strength, Josh likely never would have survived his journey out of the cult.

The supporting cast was equally wonderful. Washington was the rescue angel they desperately needed, Maggie was the ultimate mama bear, and characters like Daniel, Miriam, and the rest of their newfound community helped create the warm found-family atmosphere that made this story feel so wholesome.

My only real disappointment was the lack of true consequences for the cult itself. I kept hoping for a satisfying reckoning or some form of justice, but unfortunately, we never really get that payoff.

The romance and spice fit the tone of the story perfectly. There are no kinks or over-the-top scenes here—just two young men experiencing so many firsts together. Their intimacy felt natural, sweet, emotional, and appropriately sexy without overshadowing the story itself.

As for the narration, Teddy Hamilton once again delivered an excellent performance. This audiobook was recorded during his earlier years, and his voice definitely sounds younger than it does today, but his emotional delivery was still fantastic.

Unfortunately, Dake Bliss didn’t work for me at all. His performance felt very flat and almost like someone simply reading the words aloud rather than performing them. The pacing suffered from unusually long pauses between sentences and paragraphs, which constantly pulled me out of the story. What frustrated me most, though, was that he repeatedly misread Asher’s name as “Archer.” Hearing the mistake multiple times without it being caught in editing was disappointing.

Overall, this was a wholesome, heartfelt, and emotional story about escaping oppression, finding freedom, discovering yourself, and learning what love truly means.

Breakdown:
📖 Story: 4⭐
👥 Characters: 4⭐
🔥 Spice: 3⭐
✍️ Writing: 4⭐
🎧 Narration: 3⭐
Profile Image for Jason King.
5 reviews
May 20, 2026
Hello there, strangers. 😂⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Firstly, apologies for disappearing off the face of the earth - I ended up with viral meningitis, and for a few days, things were looking a little “well, this is an unfortunate way to go” dramatic. But thankfully, I survived, my brain is functioning again (debatable), and naturally, I celebrated by immediately diving back into emotionally vulnerable gay fiction. And have 4 books to review in the coming days. 📚💀⁣⁣
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Now, my last review was for MONSTROUS DEEDS - a book so dark and psychologically brutal that I finished it feeling like my soul had been tumble-dried in broken glass. At the end of that review, I begged for something fluffy and healing.⁣⁣
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And then, by complete chance, I stumbled across GOOD PARADISE by Sarina Bowen.⁣⁣
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And honestly?⁣⁣
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This was EXACTLY the emotional support book I needed.⁣⁣
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This is one of those MM romances that every MM reader should experience at least once. Not because it has wholesome sex scenes (not violent, how do they walk the next day sex?), or the wildest drama, but because the central couple is so pure, so gentle, and so beautifully written that I wanted to physically wrap them in blankets and protect them from the world.⁣⁣
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📖 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒-𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦:⁣⁣
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Josh and Caleb were raised inside a religious cult on a Wyoming ranch known as Paradise. No television. No real connection to the outside world. Just farm labour, prayer, control and fear disguised as faith.⁣⁣
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And while everyone around them expects obedience and purity, Josh has spent most of his life secretly in love with his best friend Caleb.⁣⁣
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Which, in a cult environment obsessed with rigid morality, is TERRIFYING for him.⁣⁣
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Caleb has always protected Josh from the worst parts of the Compound, but he’s quietly carrying secrets and escape plans of his own. Eventually, things unravel, lives are upended, and the boys find themselves trying to survive in a world they were never prepared for.⁣⁣
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And watching them slowly figure out freedom, identity, safety and love together honestly melted me.⁣⁣
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💭 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒⁣⁣
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What I appreciated most about GOOD PARADISE is that it doesn’t sensationalise the cult aspect. It’s there, it matters deeply, but the story focuses more on healing, emotional discovery and the quiet rebuilding of two lives.⁣⁣
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It’s a gentle exploration of religion, control and growing up silently gay inside an oppressive environment, but it never feels preachy or overly heavy-handed.⁣⁣
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At its core, this is simply a beautiful love story between two deeply lovable men who deserve every ounce of happiness they eventually find.⁣⁣
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The romance unfolds on a farm alongside another former cult member, and the entire atmosphere of the book feels warm, safe and deeply comforting after the emotional warfare of darker MM fiction. There are highs, lows, babies, friendships, found family and more escapees finding their footing in the outside world… but through all of it, Josh and Caleb remain the emotional heart of the story.⁣⁣
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And honestly? I adored EVERYONE.⁣⁣
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This is one of those rare books where you finish it and wish the characters were real because you’d happily invite every single one of them into your life for Sunday lunch and emotional support casseroles. 😂⁣⁣
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I think the real strength here is emotional sincerity. There’s no massive theatrical drama, no overblown twists - just two traumatised but beautiful humans slowly learning that they’re allowed to exist, love and build a future together.⁣⁣
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And after reading some extremely dark MM lately, this book genuinely felt like my nervous system being gently tucked into bed and handed a warm cup of tea.⁣⁣
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Get into it if you haven’t already.⁣⁣
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𝐈 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝟒.𝟓/𝟓 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚𝐬. 🥹💙
Profile Image for Rebecca.
458 reviews
May 23, 2026
As I sit here on a rainy Saturday I’m struggling a little with this review because I really did like the book, the story, and the overall concept of escaping a cult to finally find happiness. There were so many strong elements, but there were also a few things I wish had been explored more deeply.

The trauma and abuse were written as very heavy and impactful, but at times the resolution felt a little too easy. Especially with Miriam, her trauma felt somewhat overlooked and handled more on a surface level than I expected. I wanted more emotional depth and closure in for parts of the story and characters.

There was also a point where the timeline jumped ahead by over a year, and I honestly didn’t realize it at first because it wasn’t made very clear until later on. I was just left confused with a baby going from newborn to saying words from one chapter to the next.

That said, I really liked Josh and Caleb and enjoyed their characters a lot. I also loved the connection with Washington and the role he played in helping them. The themes of acceptance and healing were meaningful, but again, some of it felt almost too easy considering everything the characters had gone through — especially the trauma and the processing after escaping the cult.

I’ve enjoyed all of the books I’ve read by this author, but with this one, I just wanted it to feel a little more fleshed out. I think the story had the potential to go even deeper emotionally.
148 reviews2 followers
May 28, 2026
I loved this book, which reminded me of Keira Andrews's "A Clean Break," book 2 of her Amish trilogy. Here we have two new adults escaping from/being kicked out of a cult that bears a strong resemblance to the FLDS church, complete with polygamy and abuse. Very little of the book takes place at the compound, which is just as well. Most of it takes place after they find a safe haven with a runaway a few years older than them, who is now married and pregnant.

I especially loved Josh. He goes from being terrified all the time and believing he's a waste of oxygen to discovering all the things he's good at and learning to stick up for himself. When he finally loses his temper it's epic. He's so sad and that's awful, but his rage is magnificent and it's really important for him to express that he's done with being pushed around and keeping quiet. Caleb doesn't grow as much, in part because he was in better shape to begin with, but he learns to rely on the people who love him and not try to fix everything himself. And he learns that Jäger shots are not his friends.

I think the second book in this duology is about a different couple, which is too bad because I'd love to see more of these guys and their new family. I want to see Josh get an education and find the career that's right for him. And I'd like to see Caleb get a chance to help some of the other women and kids in the cult, and maybe help some bad guys get their comeuppance. I will live in hope.
Profile Image for Sara Heroux.
231 reviews
May 24, 2026
Goodbye Paradise by ✨️Sarina Bowen✨️ absolutely wrecked me in the best way possible. I was crying while driving, crying at work, just full emotional damage from start to finish. 😭💔
I listened to the audiobook on Audible and when Teddy Hamilton says “baby”… excuse me while I melt into a puddle. Can someone please make a loop of him saying baby because I swear it could cure a bad day instantly. 🎧🔥
I’ve always loved Sarina Bowen’s MM romances, but this one easily became my favorite. I cannot believe this older release somehow slipped past me because the second I finished it, I immediately went hunting for the next book in the series.
If you love emotional MM romance, found family, healing, angst, and characters that stay with you long after the final chapter, this is a MUST read/listen.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶🌶 (2 spice)
🎧 Audiobook approved
💔 Bring tissues
Profile Image for Danielle V.
103 reviews1 follower
May 12, 2026
I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Every character was wonderful.

The plot was great, the slow believable growth tore at my heart. The interpersonal conflict and how they found their place in the world was so wonderful. And because I read the books out of order I know what’s on the horizon for them and that just makes me so happy!

These are nitpicks that didn’t distract from the story but they could have probably cut down on the spicy scenes because not all of them added to the plot and I���d argue they were a bit too “knowledgeable” in the gay sex department at the beginning for two kids who grew up without internet in a cult who were also virgins but that’s neither here nor there.
Profile Image for Sarah Doyle.
13 reviews
May 20, 2026
Ending had me in tears... happy ones!

I had a hard time with this story. It wasn't the book's fault though, more of a me problem. I struggle with religious trauma. This was hard to read at so many points. I was very happy they got their HEA. However, I was hoping for closure from the abuse happening within their cult. I was also hoping they were going to adopt Meriam's baby - but they didn't want kids of their own. Or at least an epilogue of their honeymoon in Miami would have been fun. Wasn't my story to write, just my thoughts!

Well written.. 3.5/5 for me :)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Marian Divilek.
85 reviews6 followers
May 30, 2026
A story of Caleb and Joshua who grew up in a religious community where almost everything was a sin. It took some courage to dive into reading this book, but it was totally worth it.
After reading so much hockey 🏑 themed stuff by Sarina I was surprised that this was also very intriguing and the plot left me breathless, angry, shocked, excited (very often indeed) and emotional.
I just love HEA / HFN ending and this just gave me what I needed. Hope mainly.
Highly recommended.
43 reviews
May 23, 2026
This book had my heart aching. They were most adorable couple ever, I found the cult, the struggle and then self sabotage so sad but I loved how they had always been each other's and had need been away from each other ever. It was just to cute. There was a bit of a trigger warning gang rape was mentioned, rape was mentioned, being kicked out if the cult, running away from the cult.
34 reviews
May 26, 2026
Plot okay a bit boring not a lot of build up. First narrator was okay second narrator was awful. Pleasant voice but was just droning up the lines, not a lot of emotion in it. Due to that I almost DNF-ed.
Profile Image for Alexis.
130 reviews
May 30, 2026
Audible free audiobook. I did not read the description. Teddy Hamilton is a good narrator. The story lacked conflict and was kinda boring. The characters were a little inconsistent in their development. Josh was lol at points. Wouldn’t recommend, but would not discourage
Profile Image for Anna.
203 reviews26 followers
May 11, 2026
Cute relationship but the third act drama was ridiculous and unnecessary.
Profile Image for Soph.
117 reviews
May 13, 2026
I read this in 3 hours. I went in blind and boy was I confused at first. It was good though I really enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Justanoldnurse.
11 reviews
May 17, 2026
I don’t leave reviews often, but I love a good male male romance. and this one had many more than the typical struggles with a happily ever after.
Profile Image for Erth.
4,786 reviews
May 24, 2026
I absolutely loved the book. Audio narration was a plus!
Profile Image for Kendra Hall.
76 reviews1 follower
Read
May 26, 2026
Gay romance but they leave a cult and it’s also ridiculous? I ate it up though
Profile Image for Layne Hazzard.
31 reviews1 follower
May 28, 2026
lowkey not cringe but it was free and entertaining so I cannot complain
Profile Image for Amber.
55 reviews
May 28, 2026
This is far better than Him
Great storytelling and logical plot
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews