Chasing Butterflies

by Yejide Kilanko

"A good mother does not run from her child’s home. She always stays and fights.”

Titilope Ojo left Nigeria for the United States over a decade ago, but her mother’s words remain fresh in her mind. Titilope is married to Tomide, a handsome and charismatic man who she is afraid of. She spends each day anticipating his moods and lives in fear of offending him. She takes great care to try and love him just the way he wants, but will it ever be enough? As life continues to spiral out of control, Titilope finds herself alone at a crossroad where she must choose between duty and survival.

Genres: African Literature, Africa, Fiction

105 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 16, 2015

About the author

A writer of fiction and poetry, Kilanko’s debut novel, Daughters Who Walk This Path, a Canadian national bestseller, was longlisted for the 2016 Nigeria Literature Prize.

Her work includes a novella, Chasing Butterflies (2015), two children’s picture books, There Is An Elephant In My Wardrobe (2019), and Juba and The Fireball (2020). Her short fiction is in the anthology, New Orleans Review 2017: The African Literary Hustle. Her latest novel, A Good Name, is available now

Kilanko lives in Ontario, Canada, where she practices as a social worker.

Reviews

[Jodi]

DNF'd @ 20% - I truly regret that this keeps happening. I've been stressed ever since Russia invaded Ukraine in late-February. Now things upset me much more than usual, and a pumped-up Nigerian man—even a fictional one—who feels he's entitled to be treated like a King, and beats his wife (witnessed by children) with zero or just the slightest provocation does NOT deserve my attention. NEXT!

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed feelings. Daughters Who Walk This Path was easily one of my favourite books of 2014, and I've been eagerly awaiting more from Kilanko. Chasing Butterflies is about a couple and what happens when Titilope is finally able to stand up to Tomide's abuse. It's not a linear path: legally and culturally and emotionally, Titilope's options aren't always good. She triumphs (I'll let you read the book to learn how), but it's a slow process.

I'm so very on board with the messages in Chasing Butterflies, but although the characters have complexity, the plot doesn't, really. I sort of suspect that the whole thing was written to be a 'message' book, and that's fine—and can be valuable—but not necessarily what a lay reader is looking for. Still looking forward to future works from Kilanko.

[Bookhav3n]

This book was more of a short message on the topic of domestic abuse.

[Mina’s Musings · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always wondered how mothers tell their daughters to endure abuse in order to stay in a marriage.
I believe as a mother, your first responsibility is to your child, everything else be damned.
But this comes as no surprise to me because the story is set in a society where a woman keeping her marriage is seen as her being successful in her mission in life. Do not get me wrong, I think marriage is a worthy institution but it is not a do or die affair.

We must stop giving excuses that abuse is just one of the trials in a marriage. That is not a trial or a rough patch last time I checked.
I cry for the women who will one day have to hear the words "endure" from their mothers when they tell their sad tales.

[Mobola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finished this in a day and I’m not the fastest reader. Giving it 3 stars because it was too short, I thought there should have been more. It’s definitely a good read but was expecting more depth because of her first book Daughters Who Walk This Path - the best book I’ve ever read.

Read a review about how the author doesn’t shy away from the tough subjects and she really doesn’t. Love that she wrote about this. Its very real.

[LadyLouisa Writes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you for this story Yejide kilanko. This novella was my long weekend read and I read it twice.It is sad that the the gravity of spousal abuse through the years has been trivialized. People choose to stay out of husband and wife matters even when it is clearly a toxic union.We come from a culture where girls are raised to aspire to marry and stay married as a status symbol of being "settled". We should understand that there is a difference between being settled and settling. I cant remember ever hearing anyone one ask women or men if they are happy. Rather, the question you often hear is "Are you married?" "Why are you not married?". In a culture and society where "marriage" is viewed as an "accomplishment" it places a huge burden on both parties especially women who feel that a failed marriage means that she is a failure who could not keep her "home". I was not surprised when her mother advised her to stay and her husband the tyrant went around telling all sorts of lies about her. The fastest way to crucify a woman in a society with traditional values is to accuse her of infidelity. We all know women who have been and are still in abusive marriages and in the end the "devil" gets blamed for everything. Blame! Blame! Blame ! He accused her to the point she started to believe she was the cause of his violence towards her! I am glad that times are changing and women are beginning to find their voice and free themselves from the societal shackles of the expectation of what an accomplished or fulfilled life and existence should be. Nothing justifies inflicting pain on a fellow human whatever the gender. It is not advisable to be with a partner who brings out the worst in you, many know this but chose to stay in abusive marriages to avoid the stigma and also the lack of support from fellow women and the society at large.If the cause of spousal abuse it psychological, we need to have agencies apart from the church that can step in to show support and help.
Finally I loved that the story did not end as expected which is after all the injustice everyone weeps, kisses and makes up! She found hope and moved on ! Phew ! Once again thank you for this story Yejide Kilanko..

[Ann Nwuzor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yejide Kilanko has a way of weaving deeply emotional and thought-provoking narratives, and Chasing Butterflies is no exception. Having read two of her books, I have come to expect stories that, while powerful, often carry a heavy emotional weight. This novel was no different.

The story delves into the harrowing realities of domestic violence and its devastating impact on individuals and families. One particularly distressing moment that stood out was when Titilope, the protagonist, endured severe physical abuse:

“Titilope fought tears as she leaned against the vehicle. The overnight observation visit had turned into an excruciating eight-day stay. She had a concussion, a lacerated liver, five fractured ribs, and a broken jaw. Her two front teeth were also gone.”

Tomide, her abuser, was truly monstrous, and the emotional toll of witnessing Titilope’s suffering made this a difficult read. However, the strength she ultimately finds within herself to stand up against her abuser adds a sense of resilience and hope to the narrative.

While Chasing Butterflies is undoubtedly a compelling and important read, it is not the kind of book that leaves one with a happy or uplifting feeling. Instead, it forces readers to confront difficult truths about domestic abuse, making it both impactful and necessary.

[Shannan Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish i could give this book ten stars

By the time I was finished with with this book, I had a hard time picking my jaw up off the floor. I was able to finish in one day, including the times I had to put it down because the male character Tomide was truly working my nerves, and I was just feeling sorry for Titlope and TJ. This is the second book that I've read dealing with domestic violence. I hate it when women have to go through situations like that, but I'm glad books like this can show them that they don't have to stay. I also liked he Nigerian words throughout the story.

[Ese Okereka · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy and entertaining read. Loved the exploration of mental health among fellow Nigerians. It does help that they were based abroad with access to such affordable care. I am a bit biased and still think therapy is hard for black women if the therapist is of a different race/culture. This book helps challenge that notion.

Favorite quote: "Yes, our parents raise us, but we also have to raise ourselves"

[Literary Everything · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chasing Butterflies is an engaging read about a difficult subject. Yejide tells a simple but nuanced story about domestic violence. The storytelling conveys the darkness of abuse without being too heavy. Yejide gently reveals underneath the seemingly happy family, the classic acts of manipulation, lies, threats and character assassination carried out by Tomide. Read our review here https://literaryeverything.com/2020/0...

[Seyram Ama Asimah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started and finished this book in less than a day... That's how gripping the story was for me. I just wanted to know what happened next. I wish Titilope had the strength to leave Tomide on her own and did not have to wait for circumstances. All the same, she had the strength to make the right decision to not take him back... Part of me wished they'll get back together though... But how can she trust his word when he'd promised and failed so many times in the past?

[Kadiri Christabell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like the book and it was an easy read

It is always painful to read of abuse but it is a great feeling when the abused realizes their worth and take measures to rectify it

Yejide has a way of dragging you into a story and that she did. She tackled issues like family, traditions, culture, social perception, domestic violence, love and the justice system.

The need for the familiar in a strange land and the power of mental health

[Oladoyin Phillips · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit disappointing

Felt like a first draft that never went through the process of having depth added to it. Or like there was a deadline to meet so it just had to be published.
Was disappointed Cus I read her other book and loved it.
I think it could have had a bit more depth, better pacing. Felt like it was stuck in between a quick short and a novella.

[Rachael OA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed feelings about this book, I loved the storyline and the exploration of domestic violence within a Nigerian household. However, with a topic like domestic violence, I think the book could have benefited from more depth and character development. It's a short book that has a great message, it just finished way too soon.

[Temi Adefioye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love that a story about Domestic violence was told in short but detailed way. It covered everything most DV victims and predators suffer and put their victims through. From lies, societal pressure, manipulation etc.

[Nell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and easy read, I loved that the author addressed a topic that the society is still grappling with, however, I felt like the writing could have been better, too many blanks that were not filled..e.g what was the rule that Titilope breached? For the full review adanmathereader.wordpress.com

[Funmike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read as always. I’m such a fan of Yejide Kilanko. From “Daughters Who Walk This Path” to “A Good Name”. Chasing butterflies depicts domestic violence, how it plays out, the culture of encouraging women to stay cos of their kids. I like how despite Tomide claiming to have changed, Titilope didn’t take him back.
5/5 read👍🏾👍🏾.

[Saitonne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good book, short though. Very relevant to Diaspora Africans

[Friederike Knabe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Comments to follow...

[Onome · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written!

[Elohor Egbordi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this, I'm just sad it ended this soon.

The themes explored here... Wow!

For a moment, I was scared Titi was going to take him back.

*phew*

[Maybee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good message but the book has no depth at all. Too short and just somehow

[Voke Etefe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yejide is so talented

[Nelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

For starters, may I and my sisters never meet a man like Tomide.

Chasing Butterflies had me in my feelings from start to finish but it was worth the read.

[Njoki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn.

[Princess Agyei Boateng · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the read. Short but beautifully written