If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll: A Women's Instructional Guide for Men

by Mary McHugh

With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities.

She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.”

A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa.

And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things.

Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.

96 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 16, 2010

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Laurence · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book wasn't for me. So it likely isn't surprising I didn't find it funny. I think it does serve well as a snapshot representation of prior generations' straight marriage culture. Husbands who weaponize incompetence, wives who resent them but don't leave them. Sad, really. Rather than write a book, perhaps she would benefit from a divorce.

[Erin Krajenke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of funny. Kind of ridiculous. The last sentence made me sad. But i wish you'd try to think of me as your partner. No matter how far we may have come, most household chores are still unbalanced.

[Teresa · Rating 2 out of 5]

A humorous read, and a good one to pass on to friends when you are finished.