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Clovenhoof #3
Godsquad
The Team:
Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans.
Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not.
St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed – no matter how much he argues otherwise.
The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it’s a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
Godsquad:
A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.
Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans.
Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not.
St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed – no matter how much he argues otherwise.
The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it’s a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
Godsquad:
A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.
432 pages, Paperback
First published April 23, 2015
145 people are currently reading
497 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
April 7, 2021
Book three in the Clovenhoof series and three saints get sent from heaven to earth to hunt for the Virgin Mary who has been wondering the earth for centuries. Unfortunately (or fortunately for us readers) they land in the center of Amsterdam on pride weekend. Just hilarious.
At the time of posting this series is available on Kindle Unlimited.
At the time of posting this series is available on Kindle Unlimited.
March 23, 2023
When the Virgin Mary goes AWOL from Heaven and heads for Amsterdam the Godsquad is set to return her. Joan of Arc, St. Christoper (former Saint) and St. Francis of Assisi are transported and trans-substantiated to Earth. They arrive in Amsterdam on the weekend of the Pride Parade so their physical appearance is accepted. Except poor St. Christopher who is invisible to all except Eastern Orthodox Christians.
This begins a wild trip across to find Simon, whose soulless prayer to Mary uncovered her disappearance. With the help of a bus full of WI members from Wales the four Saints and a Wolf will try to save the world.
Probably offensive to the very religious; extremely funny and clever.
This begins a wild trip across to find Simon, whose soulless prayer to Mary uncovered her disappearance. With the help of a bus full of WI members from Wales the four Saints and a Wolf will try to save the world.
Probably offensive to the very religious; extremely funny and clever.
May 3, 2015
A great addition to the series
A wonderful gripping tale that takes the sideline players of Joan of Arc, St. Francis, and St. Christopher and give them a wonderfully entertaining new life....on earth.
This story has adventure, drama, and comedy wrapped around a moral question and obligation.
I loved it.
A wonderful gripping tale that takes the sideline players of Joan of Arc, St. Francis, and St. Christopher and give them a wonderfully entertaining new life....on earth.
This story has adventure, drama, and comedy wrapped around a moral question and obligation.
I loved it.
June 15, 2015
From the writers of the Clovenhoof books, more irreverent and barking mad fun. This time, Joan of Arc, St Francis of Assisi and St Christopher leave Heaven to search for the Virgin Mary, leaving mayhem in their wake.
May 23, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. A completely new team were sent to earth from Heaven to engage is a single adventure. The premise of the book was solid and the story flowed really well.
While this could have been played with far more of a straight face it was in fact a farce and played entirely for the laughs. The situations and the characters were all very funny with a number of moments where I ended up chuckling to myself.
Yes, it was a bit silly in places. The entire book employs and light tone but has enough character to keep you engaged in it. Even the secondary characters are funny in what they do and all are utilised very well indeed to keep the smiles in place.
A fast fun read. I actually got a lot more from the book than I expected to and left it wanting more. Its a good way to finish a book. I do not feel short changed but was enjoying the ride right up to the last page.
While this could have been played with far more of a straight face it was in fact a farce and played entirely for the laughs. The situations and the characters were all very funny with a number of moments where I ended up chuckling to myself.
Yes, it was a bit silly in places. The entire book employs and light tone but has enough character to keep you engaged in it. Even the secondary characters are funny in what they do and all are utilised very well indeed to keep the smiles in place.
A fast fun read. I actually got a lot more from the book than I expected to and left it wanting more. Its a good way to finish a book. I do not feel short changed but was enjoying the ride right up to the last page.
February 20, 2019
Found GodSquad less humorous and entertaining than Clovenhoof and Pigeonwings. Disliked the Mary/Em character from the start, the Wolf of Gubbio, and the Simon/Revelations/Armageddon storyline. Hopefully, book four, Hellzapoppin', returns to following the adventures of Jeremy Clovenhoof and his band of friends/frenemies!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2018
kindle unlimited, read through the other 3, basically unrelated book, and not going through this series, and it all started because wanted to see what the one about Trump was, and wanted the full background of the books first.
The Team:
Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed – no matter how much he argues otherwise.
The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it’s a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
Godsquad:
A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.
Clovenhoof (Clovenhoof Book 1) (Jul 26, 2012)
Pigeonwings (Clovenhoof Book 2) (Aug 10, 2013)
Godsquad (Clovenhoof Book 3) (Clovenhoof Book 3) (Apr 23, 2015)
Hellzapoppin' (Clovenhoof Book 4) (Oct 1, 2015)
Beelzebelle (Clovenhoof Book 5) (Apr 14, 2016)
Clovenhoof & the Trump of Doom (Clovenhoof Book 6) (Dec 18, 2016)
Satan's Shorts (Clovenhoof, #3)
Satan's Shorts is collection with the 3 books listed below but there are others
1 - Clovenhoof
2 - Pigeonwings
3 - Godsquad
4 - Hellzapoppin'
5 - Beelzebelle
Clovenhoof's Shed
Clovenhoof goes to Night School
Oddjobs
Oddjobs 2: This time it's Personnel
Mythfits
Disenchanted
The Team:
Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed – no matter how much he argues otherwise.
The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it’s a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
Godsquad:
A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.
Clovenhoof (Clovenhoof Book 1) (Jul 26, 2012)
Pigeonwings (Clovenhoof Book 2) (Aug 10, 2013)
Godsquad (Clovenhoof Book 3) (Clovenhoof Book 3) (Apr 23, 2015)
Hellzapoppin' (Clovenhoof Book 4) (Oct 1, 2015)
Beelzebelle (Clovenhoof Book 5) (Apr 14, 2016)
Clovenhoof & the Trump of Doom (Clovenhoof Book 6) (Dec 18, 2016)
Satan's Shorts (Clovenhoof, #3)
Satan's Shorts is collection with the 3 books listed below but there are others
1 - Clovenhoof
2 - Pigeonwings
3 - Godsquad
4 - Hellzapoppin'
5 - Beelzebelle
Clovenhoof's Shed
Clovenhoof goes to Night School
Oddjobs
Oddjobs 2: This time it's Personnel
Mythfits
Disenchanted
March 2, 2018
This is not a breathless comedy road trip. I would probably feel more positive about it, if it wasn’t presented to me this way.
So, this is not a funny book. There are jokes that work, but those are the exception not the rule. The book is amusing in its way, but I laughed about once. The resolution is foreshadowed too early and once it becomes clear was has to happen, it still takes too long to happen. The main joke “medieval saints don’t understand the modern world” is trodden out so many times it becomes tedious and on the whole, it is more a suggestion. Characters gain abilities as they are needed and that annoying thing happens, where every named character has to reappear in a “surprising” role.
This is just not funny enough. I smiled when I put it away, but there was no hesitation to do so.
So, this is not a funny book. There are jokes that work, but those are the exception not the rule. The book is amusing in its way, but I laughed about once. The resolution is foreshadowed too early and once it becomes clear was has to happen, it still takes too long to happen. The main joke “medieval saints don’t understand the modern world” is trodden out so many times it becomes tedious and on the whole, it is more a suggestion. Characters gain abilities as they are needed and that annoying thing happens, where every named character has to reappear in a “surprising” role.
This is just not funny enough. I smiled when I put it away, but there was no hesitation to do so.
August 15, 2017
I'm on book 3
I love the comedy and the dialogue which at times require some thinking to get (this is a good thing). This book in the series seems rather forced. Too much slapstick, to much just shtick. I am on the whole enjoying the series and hope the rest are as funny and refreshing as the first two.
I love the comedy and the dialogue which at times require some thinking to get (this is a good thing). This book in the series seems rather forced. Too much slapstick, to much just shtick. I am on the whole enjoying the series and hope the rest are as funny and refreshing as the first two.
May 14, 2020
Okay
I wanted to enjoy this book, but it wasn't up to the standard of clovenhoof.
I realise it's fiction but just a bit too silly for me. I don't think I will be reading anymore in this series.
I wanted to enjoy this book, but it wasn't up to the standard of clovenhoof.
I realise it's fiction but just a bit too silly for me. I don't think I will be reading anymore in this series.
September 26, 2015
I really enjoyed this book after reading the other three, I just had to buy it and it did not disappoint.
October 27, 2016
Omg, this brings back memories... Joan of Arc, Saint Francis, and the questionable Saint Christopher end up smack dab in Amsterdam during the Pride Parade
March 20, 2018
I was hoping to read some funny adventures between Clovenhoof and Michael with the Godsquad but this didn't happen. The plot is OK-ish but not the best.
July 3, 2018
Wasn’t the best
I have enjoyed the first two books wrote by Heidi & Iain, but this felt like it dragged a little.
It still had its humour, but not to the same extent.
I have enjoyed the first two books wrote by Heidi & Iain, but this felt like it dragged a little.
It still had its humour, but not to the same extent.
March 5, 2024
Very funny, although the theology is a bit iffy…
The Heide/Iain writing this am strike again!
In this continuation of the Clovenhoof series— one in which Clovenhoof never appears— the administrative powers in Heaven quite upset by what appears to be an impossible situation. Heaven has received an impossible prayer.
It’s not that the prayer can’t be answered; God remains omnipotent. Rather, it’s the source of the prayer— Heaven, through God’s omniscience, knows the name and location of every soul on earth, yet this “Simon” who offered up the prayer to the Virgin Mother of God doesn’t seem to exist. And to further complicate things, the Virgin Mary herself can’t be asked, as she has apparently taken herself down to earth on an extended sabbatical.
What’s heaven to do?
Well, the administrative powers (God has apparently delegated a lot of the daily administration to his archangels) decide to send a small task force to earth to locate the Blessed Mother and figure out how someone without a soul is still able ask Mother Mary’s help.
Saint Joan of Arc, perpetually 19 years old in Heaven, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Christopher make up the trio who are sent. None have actually been to earth in six centuries or more (for Christopher it’s more like sixteen centuries), so they’re hardly prepared to deal with modern Europe. And it doesn’t help that Francis has somehow managed to smuggle the Wolf of Gubbio with him.
All the three (and the wolf) need to do is find someone who doesn’t really want to be found, and convince that person to find someone who apparently doesn’t exist. What could possibly go wrong?
This is a delightfully funny book, and if the theology is significantly messed up, it’s still somehow messed up in an ultimately respectful way.
Highly recommended.
The Heide/Iain writing this am strike again!
In this continuation of the Clovenhoof series— one in which Clovenhoof never appears— the administrative powers in Heaven quite upset by what appears to be an impossible situation. Heaven has received an impossible prayer.
It’s not that the prayer can’t be answered; God remains omnipotent. Rather, it’s the source of the prayer— Heaven, through God’s omniscience, knows the name and location of every soul on earth, yet this “Simon” who offered up the prayer to the Virgin Mother of God doesn’t seem to exist. And to further complicate things, the Virgin Mary herself can’t be asked, as she has apparently taken herself down to earth on an extended sabbatical.
What’s heaven to do?
Well, the administrative powers (God has apparently delegated a lot of the daily administration to his archangels) decide to send a small task force to earth to locate the Blessed Mother and figure out how someone without a soul is still able ask Mother Mary’s help.
Saint Joan of Arc, perpetually 19 years old in Heaven, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Christopher make up the trio who are sent. None have actually been to earth in six centuries or more (for Christopher it’s more like sixteen centuries), so they’re hardly prepared to deal with modern Europe. And it doesn’t help that Francis has somehow managed to smuggle the Wolf of Gubbio with him.
All the three (and the wolf) need to do is find someone who doesn’t really want to be found, and convince that person to find someone who apparently doesn’t exist. What could possibly go wrong?
This is a delightfully funny book, and if the theology is significantly messed up, it’s still somehow messed up in an ultimately respectful way.
Highly recommended.
March 17, 2021
Another hilarious entry into the Clovenhoof series, although the designation as a part of that series might be a bit misleading in terms of expectations. Satan aka Jeremy Clovenhoof is only mentioned in this one and I think Michael has a short cameo, but apart from that it is a seperate story that only takes places in the same universe and shares some characters.
Godsquad focuses on the three saints Joan of Arc, Saint George, Francis of Assisi and his loyal companion, the Wolf of Gubbio. The saints are tasked with finding Mary (yes, that Mary), who has been hiding on earth for a couple of centuries now. The wolf just tags along and causes some wonderfully chaotic situations.
Although I'm not religious, I find this series incredibly funny and the depictions of the saints here are immensely likable. Especially Joan and Francis are adorably naive, while Saint George makes for a brawny but kind sidekick. Of course, when a group of saints who died hundreds of years ago suddenly have to travel through modern day Europe, hilarious incidents start to pile up quickly. Although I will admit that Godsquad as a whole isn't quite as funny as the two previous novels. Also, I reaaaaally didn't like Mary, she was just annoying.
Anyway, this was an entertaining switch of scenery and characters, but I'm also looking forward to a return to the main cast.
Godsquad focuses on the three saints Joan of Arc, Saint George, Francis of Assisi and his loyal companion, the Wolf of Gubbio. The saints are tasked with finding Mary (yes, that Mary), who has been hiding on earth for a couple of centuries now. The wolf just tags along and causes some wonderfully chaotic situations.
Although I'm not religious, I find this series incredibly funny and the depictions of the saints here are immensely likable. Especially Joan and Francis are adorably naive, while Saint George makes for a brawny but kind sidekick. Of course, when a group of saints who died hundreds of years ago suddenly have to travel through modern day Europe, hilarious incidents start to pile up quickly. Although I will admit that Godsquad as a whole isn't quite as funny as the two previous novels. Also, I reaaaaally didn't like Mary, she was just annoying.
Anyway, this was an entertaining switch of scenery and characters, but I'm also looking forward to a return to the main cast.
November 4, 2017
"GodSquad" by Heide Goody and Iain Grant...
This is book 3 in the Clovenhoof series and in this one the authors *really* hit their stride! In the scenario of an unlikely set of heavenly characters coming to earth to try and locate the absent (and highly anarchic) Virgin Mary in order to fend off an inadvertent (and unintended) Armageddon, the authors throw everything from gay dragons to deluded computers at us, often in rapid succession and with "help" from bemused policemen, drunken tourists, rural cannibals and a whole lot more - and it works! Don't ask me how, I haven't a clue, but somehow all these threads are pulled together to provide a manic ride that, whilst utterly impossible, also somehow makes sense. I laughed lots, and when I wasn't laughing I was staring wide-eyed at the page thinking "WTF???"
It's brilliant. I've got them all. I suggest you do the same!
This is book 3 in the Clovenhoof series and in this one the authors *really* hit their stride! In the scenario of an unlikely set of heavenly characters coming to earth to try and locate the absent (and highly anarchic) Virgin Mary in order to fend off an inadvertent (and unintended) Armageddon, the authors throw everything from gay dragons to deluded computers at us, often in rapid succession and with "help" from bemused policemen, drunken tourists, rural cannibals and a whole lot more - and it works! Don't ask me how, I haven't a clue, but somehow all these threads are pulled together to provide a manic ride that, whilst utterly impossible, also somehow makes sense. I laughed lots, and when I wasn't laughing I was staring wide-eyed at the page thinking "WTF???"
It's brilliant. I've got them all. I suggest you do the same!
July 22, 2020
This is the third in the Clovenhoof series of books but unfortunately he doesn’t appear in it which was disappointing. It is funny but not quite as funny as the first two books and another thing that was a little annoying and hard to read was Francis’ speech impediment. Not sure it really needed it.
Having said that it was a good book and nice to see the ladies from the Welsh WI make an appearance now and again as they inadvertently crossed paths with the Saints. And the saints themselves were great characters.
Having said that it was a good book and nice to see the ladies from the Welsh WI make an appearance now and again as they inadvertently crossed paths with the Saints. And the saints themselves were great characters.
August 21, 2024
In book 3 of the series the camera lens moves away from our title character and instead centers around the C team.
Heaven sends their best, no second best.... errrr third best??? team down to earth in search of the Virgin Mary. They land in Amsterdam during pride week. Cue the misunderstandings!
Joan of Arc steals the show however in the middle there she does go passive and her personality takes a vacation so the misunderstandings can happen which I didn't like.
Overall a fun read but comes off as a side story rather than a solid entry into the series.
Heaven sends their best, no second best.... errrr third best??? team down to earth in search of the Virgin Mary. They land in Amsterdam during pride week. Cue the misunderstandings!
Joan of Arc steals the show however in the middle there she does go passive and her personality takes a vacation so the misunderstandings can happen which I didn't like.
Overall a fun read but comes off as a side story rather than a solid entry into the series.
June 7, 2022
I can think of no higher compliment than to say thus series reminds me of Terry Pratchett's great Discworld books. Fantastically unlikely story lines, interwoven cast of characters featured in different tomes, fun made of humans and organized religion while also posing some interesting philosophical questions.
The book features three saints sent down to earth to find the missing Virgin Mary and numerous hijinks ensue. I'm hoping we see much more of Joan D'Arc because she's fantastic.
The book features three saints sent down to earth to find the missing Virgin Mary and numerous hijinks ensue. I'm hoping we see much more of Joan D'Arc because she's fantastic.
January 29, 2023
I have read the first three books in this series, and I really enjoyed the first two. This one started out hilarious, but I didn't feel that it maintained the level of humor throughout the entire book. Still, the opening chapters had enough to make me literally laugh out loud. After all, what would hell send to heaven in the annual Christmas gift exchange, if not a Rubik's cube? And how could St. Christopher, the patron saint of travelers, refer to the Titanic as anything other than "Not my finest hour?"
Heide Goody has a keen sense of the absurd when it comes to religion. I haven't yet decided if she is an atheist, or just a believer with the ability to see the humor in just about anything. Either way, she has the ability to make me laugh without offending me, so I will continue to read her books.
Heide Goody has a keen sense of the absurd when it comes to religion. I haven't yet decided if she is an atheist, or just a believer with the ability to see the humor in just about anything. Either way, she has the ability to make me laugh without offending me, so I will continue to read her books.
January 6, 2020
A rib-tickling read
Following on from Clovenhoof n Pigeonwings, I bc approached this book with trepidation as it deviates from the line of the previous books
.
What’s to say ? I really should have read this sooner, as it had me literally shaking with laughter; if laughing at the “saints” and their antics is a fun, then I’m going straight to hell!
I loved this book
Following on from Clovenhoof n Pigeonwings, I bc approached this book with trepidation as it deviates from the line of the previous books
.
What’s to say ? I really should have read this sooner, as it had me literally shaking with laughter; if laughing at the “saints” and their antics is a fun, then I’m going straight to hell!
I loved this book
August 14, 2021
A Revelation worthy of Rapturous applause
Heretical miracles, a panoply of profane peregrinations - sacred pilgrimages, and the Ladies of the WI, in the presence of some less than perfect plaster saints, end up creating order out of the end of days. Witty, worldly and worth a read.
Heretical miracles, a panoply of profane peregrinations - sacred pilgrimages, and the Ladies of the WI, in the presence of some less than perfect plaster saints, end up creating order out of the end of days. Witty, worldly and worth a read.
March 26, 2023
Where the Hell was Clovenhoof?
Yes, this is another 'Down from Heaven' book. But it's deceptive to call it Clovenhoof when Jeremy etcetera aren't in it. At least there was only a little of the authors' coprophilia fetish.
An OK book in isolation, but misplaced. I did like the Wolf of Gobbio, though.
Yes, this is another 'Down from Heaven' book. But it's deceptive to call it Clovenhoof when Jeremy etcetera aren't in it. At least there was only a little of the authors' coprophilia fetish.
An OK book in isolation, but misplaced. I did like the Wolf of Gobbio, though.
February 5, 2018
Oddly compelling
Weird and downright odd but I find myself downloading the next instalment to follow the exploits of this strange little band of saint's,angels,the devil and a few humans,makes for an easy and comfortable read
Weird and downright odd but I find myself downloading the next instalment to follow the exploits of this strange little band of saint's,angels,the devil and a few humans,makes for an easy and comfortable read
October 19, 2018
The third installment of Clovenhoof focuses on Joan of Arc, St. Christopher, and St. Francis of Assisi. They're sent down to Earth to find Mother Mary and stop the impending apocalypse. Much hilarity ensues.
November 29, 2019
Never gets old
I really love this series. The wit, the shenanigans... The authors have done an amazing job of poking fun at the establishment without crossing the border of disrespect. I will never tire of these books.
I really love this series. The wit, the shenanigans... The authors have done an amazing job of poking fun at the establishment without crossing the border of disrespect. I will never tire of these books.
February 1, 2020
More please
Wonderful,fun,chaos and full of hilarious mayhem and yet the characters are very much believable. I hope to read of more missions to earth from our heavenly saints.And soon!!
Wonderful,fun,chaos and full of hilarious mayhem and yet the characters are very much believable. I hope to read of more missions to earth from our heavenly saints.And soon!!
June 1, 2020
Audio version (though I couldn't find it here on GRs). I laughed so much I think I might have hurt myself. Matthew Lloyd Davies's narration is brilliant, though I particularly loved the voice he gave to Francis of Assisi.
April 5, 2021
The third book in the Clovenhoof series. This story has adventure, drama, and comedy wrapped around a big moral question. Slow start but a crescendo of a finish. Nice to see some lesser characters in the first two books take centre stage.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews