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Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
At last, the book that answers the question on every parent’s Why does my toddler hate me? Okay, it’s not really hate. It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler’s toast. (Or not cutting it off—seriously, you can’t win.)The theory of toddler evolution Mealtime (AKA Hell)Your unraveling lifeAnd how not to die inside
194 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 7, 2015
1053 people are currently reading
3258 people want to read
About the author
Bunmi Laditan
19 books456 followersHello, my name is Bunmi Laditan. I am a writer living in Quebec, Canada by way of northern California. My writings include The Honest Toddler and Confessions of a Domestic failure and poetry such as Dear Mother and Dear God: Honest Prayers to a God Who Listens.
instagram.com/HonestToddler
facebook.com/BunmiKLaditan
instagram.com/HonestToddler
facebook.com/BunmiKLaditan
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 633 reviews
April 23, 2018
Really funny, really relatable read for all parents. Sure, it's over-the-top, but when you are in the thick of it, an honest voice is a godsend.
Okay, this book is clearly meant to be satire, people. I've followed this author for a very long time and she loves her kids... a lot. Just parenting is sometimes the best and worst thing in the world, often at the same time. Bunmi Laditan gets it.
Starting my week of reading all black authors with this one!
(ppst- this on is on sale right now for only $1.13! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SM1214C/)
Want to see what else I'm reading? Follow along at the links below!
*~~Check out all of my reviews & my bookstagram at the links below~~*
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Okay, this book is clearly meant to be satire, people. I've followed this author for a very long time and she loves her kids... a lot. Just parenting is sometimes the best and worst thing in the world, often at the same time. Bunmi Laditan gets it.
Starting my week of reading all black authors with this one!
(ppst- this on is on sale right now for only $1.13! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SM1214C/)
Want to see what else I'm reading? Follow along at the links below!
*~~Check out all of my reviews & my bookstagram at the links below~~*
Recently read
July 18, 2017
8 year old: what does that mean "toddlers are a-holes"?
Me: airholes. You know, what you breathe out of. Like nostrils. That's why the kid has a crayon in his nose.
8 year old: But what does it really mean?
Such a fun, laugh out loud book, with so many relatable moments!
Me: airholes. You know, what you breathe out of. Like nostrils. That's why the kid has a crayon in his nose.
8 year old: But what does it really mean?
Such a fun, laugh out loud book, with so many relatable moments!
October 30, 2016
I saw this book and just had to buy it for my friend. I'll give it to her at Christmas since her little one will just be entering her toddler years at this time. This book is written with 100% our sense of humor. There is so much cussing, and toddlers are often described as sociopaths whose mission in life is to destroy your soul. If you think your child is a miracle to be cherished, this book isn't for you. Its main intention is to normalize how horrible this time is and reinforce that it's not your fault--toddlers are just assholes sometimes (well, all the time). This book made me laugh, and I know my friend will get a kick out of it. I got her a book called Pregnancy Sucks when she was pregnant and completely miserable. She felt that book was more real and helpful than any of her other what to expect pregnancy books. Hopefully this will be just as helpful.
September 14, 2015
A successful book need not be great; it must merely arrive at the proper time. In this case, the proper time is when your toddler is sending you bats**t insane.
Yes, it's over the top in places, and there's a whole series of slacker parent jokes that are a bit heavy handed. But between the humor there's some serious reminders that toddlers really don't understand you have a separate existence, and they really have no idea that waiting will not kill them or that the suspicious looking piece of food you are offering them (which they ate FINE yesterday!) might not be actually something that will totally gross them out.
Pair with Must. Push. Buttons! and Spike Lee's Please, Baby, Please as well as Go the Fuck to Sleep / You Have to F--king Eat for parent of toddler bibliotherapy.
However-- and I learned this from dread experience after I got a free copy of this book at BookExpo-- do not leave this book (or the Adam Mansbach titles) where your early reader can see the title, or you may be explaining the title at school later when your darling writes it down for the teacher.
Yes, it's over the top in places, and there's a whole series of slacker parent jokes that are a bit heavy handed. But between the humor there's some serious reminders that toddlers really don't understand you have a separate existence, and they really have no idea that waiting will not kill them or that the suspicious looking piece of food you are offering them (which they ate FINE yesterday!) might not be actually something that will totally gross them out.
Pair with Must. Push. Buttons! and Spike Lee's Please, Baby, Please as well as Go the Fuck to Sleep / You Have to F--king Eat for parent of toddler bibliotherapy.
However-- and I learned this from dread experience after I got a free copy of this book at BookExpo-- do not leave this book (or the Adam Mansbach titles) where your early reader can see the title, or you may be explaining the title at school later when your darling writes it down for the teacher.
April 13, 2015
Hilarious!! I swear this this was written specifically about me and my child. I'm going to make Daddy read it because he doesn't understand toddlers and often thinks we may have given birth to a psychopath. No honey, he's just a toddler.
April 30, 2016
I really enjoy The Honest Toddler and Bunmi Laditan's Facebook posts. In that medium, short snippets and tiny glimpses into toddlerhood, she comes across as someone who will say the things we all know to be *occasionally* true about the parts of parenting no one talks about.
In book format, she doesn't come across as a keen observer with a sharp wit who says shocking but honest things sometimes. Instead, given an unlimited word count, a point that would be funny or ring true in 140 characters or less is belabored until there's nothing funny about it.
In book format, she doesn't come across as a keen observer with a sharp wit who says shocking but honest things sometimes. Instead, given an unlimited word count, a point that would be funny or ring true in 140 characters or less is belabored until there's nothing funny about it.
April 27, 2016
I laughed. You'll laugh. I may have laughed as hard as I did because there have been days, many, many long days, where if a pack of gypsies came by, I would literally hold my littlest out and say, "How much for this one?" And then, possibly counter with, "No, what do you want me to give you!?" If you don't laugh, you never had kids. Or are a sanctiparent and need to study the Sanctiparent Responses at the end of each chapter. Study them.
October 3, 2017
Some parts are really funny and enjoyable. However, she simply goes overboard and after a while it becomes ridiculous. Not too much insight if you're a new mom (or dad) and was hoping to learn something new or some useful tricks. My suggestion? If you have time to waste and don't mind a lot of vulgarity and some over-the-top platitudes, then by all means, try to read it. On the other hand, if you're a busy parent who wants to gain insight into toddlerhood, don't waste your precious time.
April 7, 2017
I think I completely misunderstood what this book was going to be like. I pretty much skimmed through the whole thing in 30 minutes. Obviously it's loved by many (based on ratings), but it's not my cup of tea. I was looking for something helpful, not comedic. Again, my bad for misunderstanding the point of the book when I checked it out at the library.
February 2, 2024
Oh my gosh 🤣🤣🤣
June 13, 2018
A funny, honest, snarky, sarcastic, OMG-did-she-really-say-that? book about toddlers. Toddlers are assholes. I don't have kids myself, but I still know that toddlers are evil. :P So I had lots of fun reading this book. From clothes to parties to potty training to sex life with a toddler running and screaming around you to mealtime to well everything else. Did I mention wine or alcohol, a very important staple to survive toddlerhood. This book is full to the brim with everything about toddlers. There are recipes (funny ones), the sanctiparent bumping in (with extra comments), the book has drawings/scribblies, letters. You won't be bored once while reading this one, instead you will be laughing your butt off and maybe shake your head (both at the author and at the evil toddlers of doom). :P
All in all, definitely recommended. I definitely have to see if the author has written more books as I do love her style of writing.
All in all, definitely recommended. I definitely have to see if the author has written more books as I do love her style of writing.
July 12, 2017
Overall the book was ok, however I was turned off most of the time by the author's 'potty' mouth and the fact that it seemed like she was trying really hard to be funny. Obviously having children isn't an easy task and as parents we have a lot of material to poke fun of our kids or life...I was expecting more of that narrative versus the totally over-the-top, unbelievable stories/examples that were given by the author.
May 11, 2016
This book is hilarious! My pre-parent self would probably be horrified reading this but after living through toddler-hood... I can appreciate the exaggeration of this book. Soooo funny and spot on about just how tough it can be when your kid is in the toddler stage. The chapter about a$$hole parents is brilliant too.
March 30, 2017
I love the Honest Toddler and follow Bunmi on FB. Her humor makes me smile as I grit my teeth and make it through rough moments with my toddlers. But this book has a lot of swearing and feels too angry at times. Yes toddlers are jerks and small terrorists. But they are also fun and a learning adventure. Read the book in small chunks and not in a marathon read.
January 3, 2018
While the introduction was comical, the rest of the book felt like a tantrum itself, bemoaning the worst case scenarios with toddlers without offering anything practical or regard to the amazing things about this age group.
February 17, 2024
This was a hilariously honest and relatable
“guide book” that I needed in life. The author’s vulgar and sarcastic narrative was refreshing. She reminded me that although parenting can be exhausting, overstimulating, and isolating, I am not alone and no parent is perfect, not even the crunchy-granola moms. I highly recommend this to parents and caregivers with a sense of humor. It’s cheaper than therapy!
“guide book” that I needed in life. The author’s vulgar and sarcastic narrative was refreshing. She reminded me that although parenting can be exhausting, overstimulating, and isolating, I am not alone and no parent is perfect, not even the crunchy-granola moms. I highly recommend this to parents and caregivers with a sense of humor. It’s cheaper than therapy!
January 10, 2020
I greatly enjoy Bunmi on social media, so I thought I'd check this out. It was a cute read! I must have gotten lucky with my daughter because I could not relate to a lot of it, but I know what to watch out for with my son, now! :-)
November 26, 2022
Toddlers are Assholes
I really wasn’t sure what to expect but I got the truth! This book was funny but so honest, which is a hard skill to acquire!
I really wasn’t sure what to expect but I got the truth! This book was funny but so honest, which is a hard skill to acquire!
January 9, 2021
I laughed so hard I cried. But it's also surprisingly insightful about parenting — one of the better books on how to approach raising children that I've read.
January 10, 2017
A good read for exhausted toddler parents
Ok, this book is the real deal. If you're offended by swear words, calling toddlers a**holes, or real REAL talk about how your hygiene and sex life takes a nose dive when you have a toddler, steer clear. But if you've had it up to HERE, are sleep deprived, might jump off a cliff if you don't learn how to laugh about all the ridiculous stuff your toddler does, please read this book. And laugh. Laugh very hard.
Ok, this book is the real deal. If you're offended by swear words, calling toddlers a**holes, or real REAL talk about how your hygiene and sex life takes a nose dive when you have a toddler, steer clear. But if you've had it up to HERE, are sleep deprived, might jump off a cliff if you don't learn how to laugh about all the ridiculous stuff your toddler does, please read this book. And laugh. Laugh very hard.
January 5, 2016
Fabulous
Seriously. I and my husband enjoyed every word written.
Not only do I recommend you get this book, if you have a toddler (and a sense of humor), but I also think you should get one for a friend, if they have or will have a toddler soon.
It should be a required present for the parent(s) of a child who just recently turned one.
Get the kid a present, and get the parents one too! (A copy of this book). Because after reading it, you will not be loaning yours out. You will be keeping your copy in your "nightly stash" bag for when you need a pick me up and to hear someone tell you: it all will be okay. You will survive, Lol.
Now, you might be rolling your eyes at my review... But if my husband is too be believed, he likens me to "Simon Cowell" of book reviews. ( I don't give out good reviews unless it's been earned.) And in all honesty, If you have a sense of humor and a toddler who is not always a little angel.. then this book is for you.
However, if you think all children are adorable at all times. Honest, beautiful, sweet and can do no wrong. And consider yourself a classic " Suzy- Homemaker"- Then this book is NOT for you.
This book suited me just fine and my husband. We laughed out loud literally. It was a bonding moment for us, after we tucked our little psycho to bed. Not only were we all smiles the entire time, but I plan on keeping it stored permanently on my kindle, so I can go back and savor it again as needed. (Like a fine wine.)
Also, my good friends who are on my "nice list" for Christmas will be receiving a copy. And I will be remembering this book as a good gift to give other parents that I like, who have toddlers. Essentially anyone who is Not a " sancti-parent" ( inside joke that you will have to read the book to know what I mean.
Bravo all around to Bunmi Laditan!! Loved your writing style. And I look forward to more. You will be going on my must read list.
Seriously. I and my husband enjoyed every word written.
Not only do I recommend you get this book, if you have a toddler (and a sense of humor), but I also think you should get one for a friend, if they have or will have a toddler soon.
It should be a required present for the parent(s) of a child who just recently turned one.
Get the kid a present, and get the parents one too! (A copy of this book). Because after reading it, you will not be loaning yours out. You will be keeping your copy in your "nightly stash" bag for when you need a pick me up and to hear someone tell you: it all will be okay. You will survive, Lol.
Now, you might be rolling your eyes at my review... But if my husband is too be believed, he likens me to "Simon Cowell" of book reviews. ( I don't give out good reviews unless it's been earned.) And in all honesty, If you have a sense of humor and a toddler who is not always a little angel.. then this book is for you.
However, if you think all children are adorable at all times. Honest, beautiful, sweet and can do no wrong. And consider yourself a classic " Suzy- Homemaker"- Then this book is NOT for you.
This book suited me just fine and my husband. We laughed out loud literally. It was a bonding moment for us, after we tucked our little psycho to bed. Not only were we all smiles the entire time, but I plan on keeping it stored permanently on my kindle, so I can go back and savor it again as needed. (Like a fine wine.)
Also, my good friends who are on my "nice list" for Christmas will be receiving a copy. And I will be remembering this book as a good gift to give other parents that I like, who have toddlers. Essentially anyone who is Not a " sancti-parent" ( inside joke that you will have to read the book to know what I mean.
Bravo all around to Bunmi Laditan!! Loved your writing style. And I look forward to more. You will be going on my must read list.
December 25, 2016
I don't have children, but I do have a toddler niece and I used to teach preschool, so I could relate a lot to this book, lol. Like, the stuff you'd never thought you'd say: There's nothing in the bathroom trash for you. Yes! My niece loves to dig into my trash! What is it with toddlers and bathroom trash? LOL
I think I'll pass this book on to my sister now. She and her husband, as parents of the toddler, will probably relate to this book in even more ways than I can. Potty training has just started, and it's about to get real.
I think I'll pass this book on to my sister now. She and her husband, as parents of the toddler, will probably relate to this book in even more ways than I can. Potty training has just started, and it's about to get real.
November 10, 2017
A toddler is a cross between a sociopath, a rabid animal, a cocker spaniel, a demon, and an angel. Depending on the time of day and when your toddler's last meal was, you will see all of these sides.
Y'all. I cannot stress enough how much everyone I am friends with needs to read this book.
The mothers. The child free by choicers. The grandmothers. ESPECIALLY the grandmothers.
This is validation. This is warning label. This is "bwa ha ha ha ha I AM SO HAPPY TO NOT HAVE KIDS BRING ON THE MARGARITAS."
This was a couple different things for me, some hard to explain. But oh. Oh, that satisfyingly sweet taste of BWA HA HA HA.
This book has something for everyone. Including recipes such as "Sweet as Life Used to Be" Dessert Nachos and "If you don't stop whining I may start screaming" tonic (just add vodka).
And if you are one of those moms who has never had a problem with her children, and thinks anyone who would refer to their child as an asshole doesn't deserve to have children in the first place?
Oh. Oh, there's things in here for you, too.
Y'all. I cannot stress enough how much everyone I am friends with needs to read this book.
The mothers. The child free by choicers. The grandmothers. ESPECIALLY the grandmothers.
This is validation. This is warning label. This is "bwa ha ha ha ha I AM SO HAPPY TO NOT HAVE KIDS BRING ON THE MARGARITAS."
This was a couple different things for me, some hard to explain. But oh. Oh, that satisfyingly sweet taste of BWA HA HA HA.
This book has something for everyone. Including recipes such as "Sweet as Life Used to Be" Dessert Nachos and "If you don't stop whining I may start screaming" tonic (just add vodka).
And if you are one of those moms who has never had a problem with her children, and thinks anyone who would refer to their child as an asshole doesn't deserve to have children in the first place?
Oh. Oh, there's things in here for you, too.
August 25, 2017
Wow!! This is the best book on toddlers I've ever read! At the end of the day, it's always good to get a laugh out of the stuff we go through as parents, and it is OKAY to complain about things instead of pretending life is perfect. Because if we don't talk through the hard times in life, we feel lonely and life seems even harder than before. And raising children is hard. It's REALLY hard, and it's okay to admit it.
This book is a fun, quick read that is over the top and completely sarcastic (and a little vulgar), but just the thing to help you laugh at the tough moments of parenthood. Easy five stars.
This book is a fun, quick read that is over the top and completely sarcastic (and a little vulgar), but just the thing to help you laugh at the tough moments of parenthood. Easy five stars.
December 11, 2016
This is the only book my doctor has recommended. And I wasn't even in there to talk about my toddler! Ha! Laughed till I cried and I love to pull it out on hard days. the
Honest Toddler Facebook page is also hilarious. The how to make toddler toast video is my living version of Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.
Honest Toddler Facebook page is also hilarious. The how to make toddler toast video is my living version of Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.
March 28, 2017
Hilarious
Bunmi is hysterical. The way she writes is so relatable and her comedic delivery is spot on. If you need a good laugh; aren't afraid of some bad language; and want to feel like you had a mommy date with the funniest chick on the block; read this book!
Bunmi is hysterical. The way she writes is so relatable and her comedic delivery is spot on. If you need a good laugh; aren't afraid of some bad language; and want to feel like you had a mommy date with the funniest chick on the block; read this book!
March 12, 2017
Book was funny. I wouldn't classify it as nonfiction (amazon) and at times it was very negative. I was hoping more for parenting tips than a parenting rant.
March 19, 2017
Do not read unless you like foul language.
April 22, 2017
This book is a must read. It's hilarious and honest, and makes me feel a teeny bit more sane.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 633 reviews